More Editors Needed - The Fated Hour

Well, before I was so rudely interrupted by my computer failing this morning, I was working on editing up my next story for posting, an 8,000 word piece called The Fated Hour.

The Fated Hour
Comedy, Romance

Twilight almost missed out on the chance to have friends. So when she finds a spell in an an ancient tome that promises to tell her when she will meet her true love, she decides to get a head start on things and prepare for the fated hour.

Too bad her true love seems to be taking their sweet time showing up.

This was originally a writeoff story from Look, I Can Explain, where it earned 7th place.

As always, any offers of editing help would be appreciated. Also, any feedback on the summary is always appreciated as well; I think that my last story had its summary significantly improved thanks to the feedback I got.

Comments

[Emerald Knight]

I can help, I don't have anything better to do

[BlazzingInferno]

What genre and tone are you going for? To me the last sentence is very lighthearted (and bordering on comedic) compared to the previous paragraph. I'm assuming the term "the fated hour" relates directly to the spell she found, because it's ominous and thus clashes a little with the final sentence.

But then again, I'm deep-diving on a title and a few sentences, so pay me no mind.
I'm sorry I don't have much in the way of time to help you edit the whole thing

[Icy Shake]

I'll volunteer, if you still need one.

[Titanium Dragon]

4096834
The tags on it are Romance and Comedy.

EDIT: Added to the description.

[Mudpony]

Inspired by TiMER at all? If you're not aware of it, it's a movie starring Emma Caulfield (Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Anya) where most everyone has a timer that counts down to when they'll meet their true love.

Also, thought I had: Imagine if it told you where, but not when...

[Titanium Dragon]

4096883
Really? I got the idea from this Tumblr post, though it was mostly just the idea of, you know, the time bit.

Someone else wrote a story with actual timers. Mine just features a spell. And really goes in a totally different direction with it.

[Mudpony]

4096905 So indirectly then. The image in that post is from TiMER, as you can see from this very similar one in a bit of promo material...
trishamitra.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/88650646.png

Anyway, I'd volunteer, but sadly, all booked up (<==accidental pun) right now.

[Southpaw]

Help offered if you need it: It's late, but I just had Coffee and will probably be up for a few hours.

Also, a suggestion for your summary:

When an ancient spell gives Twilight the promise of meeting her very special somepony, she decides to get a head start and prepare.

Too bad her one true love seems to be taking their sweet time showing up.

If you like this and you want the mention of her friendship tied into it, I'm sure I could work it in...

[Titanium Dragon]

4096945
Ahaha, fair enough.

And yeah. Here I was thinking it was some cool thing that someone came up with on Reddit I was stealing drawing inspiration from.

[cleverpun]

I think the description is okay. You could move the first sentence later; reading that first made me think it might be an AU about Twilight not finding her friends or somesuch.

Also, while the last line is a good hook, it makes me wary that it's one of those "joke is in the description" fics

[Shrink Laureate]

I'll help, if you're still looking. I'm more use at the minutiae of proof-reading than at general artistic direction.

[Winston]

Noticed this kind of late, but I can help if you're still looking for feedback / editing.

[Sypher]

I'll give it a shot, if you're still looking.