• Member Since 17th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Dec 14th, 2018

SuperKamek


I'm ded lol. Fuck you, bronies.

More Blog Posts724

Jul
13th
2016

[Metacritic Monday] Super Paper Mario · 5:10pm Jul 13th, 2016

Back to true 0/10s again!

Hello everyone! I'm your star-worthy host SuperKamek and welcome back to another episode of "Metacritic Monday", where I bitch and complain about people who bitch and complain. I honest to god wanted to do an episode Monday, but shit got in the way and here we are once again on a completely different day. But y'know what? I honestly wouldn't have it any other way when it comes to this show.

Please, please, PLEASE take note that I will not be ripping apart reviews that are actually legit. If someone dislikes a game for a reason, I'm all okay with that. What I'm NOT okay with is false information, like those stupid "0/10" reviews you find sometimes. Also take note that this is for entertainment and comedy purposes only, so I will be exaggerating a few points I make. So, without further ado, let's delve into Metacritic Monday!


Super Paper Mario is one of my favorite games on the Wii next to Super Mario Galaxy, Okami, Pikmin 2 Remastered, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Monster Hunter Tri and Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. There are some who both like and dislike the game, but majority love the game for its uniqueness, and those who think the game is cancer should just take it for what it is. Believe me, if you want to shit on cancer, wait a few more months. You'll be heavily rewarded.

But for now I must review guys who still shit on SPM. Yes, the game is very different from the previous two games, but is that really a bad thing? The game can be fun and it does have some really creative puzzles behind it as well, so... yeah. Either way, grab your paper and your tears, because we're going right into this!


This quote comes from the user MW1AA2Gs.

I remember when I was a kid that my favorite game on the Gamecube was Paper Mario The Ten Thousand year door and when I heard that there was a new Paper Mario game coming soon I got hyped more then for Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I couldn't wait but little did I know I was waiting for a huge kick in the balls. The game was basically New Super Mario Bros. RPG (infact I would have preferred that title much more). With a boring storyline (that I can't imagine any kids understanding), graphics that are an insult to the Wii, terrible partners (I prefer one done well then 9 with no soul), Navi/Tippi, bad boss fights (excluding the first one), a main villain with no incentive (other then just take over the world), and some of the worst levels I've ever seen.

Just so everyone knows, I select reviews based on how large they are. I don't actually read them beforehand so every word I say in this show regarding the review is blind. Now that you know how I do things around town, why don't we just jump into it all, eh?


I remember when I was a kid

Already using nostalgia as a basis for your review? Good.

Not that I have a problem with that since I use nostalgia in my reviews as well, but just remember that you can't use it as the basis of your review. Otherwise you just look like a prick.

Like me!

that my favorite game on the Gamecube was Paper Mario The Ten Thousand year door

was Paper Mario The Ten Thousand year door

The Ten Thousand year

Clearly this was your favorite game on the GameCube since you can't remember what the actual title was.

and when I heard that there was a new Paper Mario game coming soon

You freaked out and caused a massive explosion?

I got hyped more then for Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Oh. But that's not possible, see? Who could be more excited for anything other that Smash Bros?

I couldn't wait but little did I know

Great use of commas, buddy!

I was waiting for a huge kick in the balls.

The game was basically New Super Mario Bros. RPG

...and that's a problem? Do you have any idea how long people have wanted a new Super Mario RPG game? Do you even realize that other Mario RPGs have sprung up since then? Are you aware you're presenting a hollow argument?

Oh yeah, we'll get to that a bit later, ladies and gentlemen.

(infact I would have preferred that title much more).

It couldn't have had that title because it's A PAPER MARIO GAME. Love it or hate it, that's what it is and that's what it'll always be. It's different from other games because it's unique, alright?

With a boring storyline

Yeah, alright then mate.

(that I can't imagine any kids understanding)

No.

Because they're kids.

You fucking moron.

Most of them ignore the story and just play the game. The story is there for the older people who want to experience the game to its fullest and cry at the end. Because this game is emotional.

And you're soulless.

graphics that are an insult to the Wii

Really? I'm not sure we're talking about the same game here.

terrible partners

Alright, I will admit that the partners in Super Paper Mario were garbage.

In Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (or sorry, excuse me: The Ten Thousand Year Door), the partners were so fleshed out and relatable that it got to the point where some of them could be the protagonists of their own story. We don't get that in this game, and instead the partners are bland, uninteresting, and are there for the sole purpose of giving you power-ups.

That being said, some of those powers were awesome, so... screw you.

(I prefer one done well then 9 with no soul)

Everyone remember this quote, alright?

Navi/Tippi

There!

He prefers one well done than nine with no character development. He was clearly referencing Tippi, though immediately in the next transition he complains about her, calling her Navi.

Personally, I don't think Tippi reached Navi levels of annoying. In fact, she was a lot more helpful than Navi, being able to look for hidden things around the environment and make them visible for you, being able to tattle enemies without constantly shouting: "Hey, Listen" all the time, and her character was charming, cute, and had a major impact on the story.

Which we'll get to later, my friend. It all comes together...

bad boss fights (excluding the first one)

We're so close. Just one more piece before I can make my rant.

a main villain with no incentive (other then just take over the world)

This quote proves that you have not played through the entire game yet.

When you said there were bad boss fights excluding the first one, you failed to realize all the other amazing fights in the game. Sure, they weren't difficult, but that doesn't mean they weren't fun either. King Croacus, Brobot, Bonechill... all these amazing fights. And to top it all off, the fight with Count Bleck, the main antagonist of the game.

Count Bleck is awesome. And not just in the sense that he's cool-looking, which he is, but he's also a different villain. Sure we've seen tragic villains before, but seeing someone who isn't all like "I'll take over the world because reasons!" is refreshing. Count Bleck does not want to take over the world, he wants to destroy all universes. Why? He believes that since the love of his life is gone, life isn't worth living anymore, so he decides to take it away from other people. Sounds simple enough, but the way he words it in his plan reveal tells us so much more about his character. And his character centers around the story of the game.

This game's story isn't an adventure quest or just another "defeat the villain and save the world" kinda thing. This is a love story; a love story that spreads across multiple universes. Sure adventure and whatever is par with the course when it comes to games like these, but the main focus is the love between Lady Timpani and Lord Blumiere, all of which leads into one of the most satisfying endings the Paper Mario franchise has ever seen.

So fuck you and your review, and kindly piss off if you can't see that Super Paper Mario, despite its shortcomings, is a writing masterpiece that deserves to be given a chance by all people.

and some of the worst levels I've ever seen.

And I'll just end the episode off with this, pretty much summing up my thoughts on your thoughts.


And that concludes today's Metacritic Monday! Did you enjoy the show? If so, leave a comment down below! Also, what are your thoughts on Super Paper Mario? Like it? Hate it? Really your choice, I won't blame you if you hate it. It did have some shortcomings here and there, but overall I wasn't lying when I said it's a masterpiece. People just hate it because its different.

Gee, where have I heard that before...?

...hint to future Metacritic Monday?!

No, probably not. :derpytongue2:

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Comments ( 23 )

And that folks, is what we call...stupidity.:derpytongue2:

Nice tear down as always Kamek.:twilightsmile:

4088988
Common sense is surprisingly not all that common. :rainbowlaugh:

And thanks. :twilightsmile:

I love Super Paper Mario:heart:
It's easily the Mario game with the best story (which is admittedly not very hard)
And I hate it when people ignore this and just hate this wonderful game because it's different
I already told you, that this people are the reason why Sticker Star became the way it is and...:flutterrage::twilightangry2:
<One full Sticker Star rant later>
...and that's how it destroyed Paper Mario.
*deep breath*
And how I lost one source of epic and engaging stories. How am I supposed to make up for it? Shouldn't be too hard considering I started watching RWBY two days ago because of you

People just hate it because its different.

Metroid Prime: Federation Force? Kirby's Epic Yarn? Mario Party 10?
Alright, the last one is justified

4089037
That was beautiful, man... :fluttercry:

And yeah, Mario Party 10 sucks. Though the new one coming up looks to be fun! Also, I'm literally one of 10 people looking forward to Metroid Prime: Federation Force. :rainbowlaugh:

Screw you? The partners in Paper Mario had no personality, no story, they weren't even characters, they were literally just tools. I quite liked Super Paper Mario for the Wii, it's one of my favorite games on the wii, I liked the use of cards instead of a big notebook and I also liked the change in styles and the music, loved that music, it's not the same as Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (my favorite game for Gamecube), but it doesn't have to be, I think it'd be one of two things if it was, boring, or fanservice, which PM:TTYD gets into when featuring Lady Bow from Paper Mario. For what it was, I'd give Super Paper Mario an 8 out of 10, not the best game ever, but a very fun and well done game. The only problem I had with it was that the partners were literally tools with no personality and a sentence or two backstory that any creative child could write, and that the characters of flipside and flopside weren't memorable, of course, that's a problem with all the Paper Mario games, if only they'd take a hint from the Souls games and have a few great memorable NPCs.

4089045
What exactly?
My huge love for Super Paper Mario?
My immeasurable hate for Sticker Star?
Or my newfound addiction being the result of your gushing?

4089058
Not sure why you made a rant about this. I love Super Paper Mario! :twilightsheepish:

4089077
Just about all of it. :rainbowkiss:

I loved watching Chugga's play though of this game. It was really amazing and I ending did bring a few tears to my eyes. :twilightsmile:

4089085
:twilightsmile:Alright, this answer satisfies me
Expect me now to show up in your RWBY blogs, too.
And now I have to go back into my corner and cry because I saw the volume 3 finale today:raritydespair: And Doctor Who doesn't help right now:raritycry:

4089114
Pumpkin Pete's! Now with 20% more CHARRED ASH. :rainbowdetermined2:

4089082 Well, I didn't try to rant, but I would like to review the PM series sometime :p

4089172
Oh!
Well then, more power to you! :twilightsmile:

4089107
It was one of the only endings in gaming history to make me cry, the other being the ending of Professor Layton and the Unwound Future.

4089178 Now I'm playing with power, Nintendo power :)

4089185
Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week! :derpytongue2:

I really enjoyed Super Paper Mario. Yes, there were a few spots were the game fell flat, but I dare you to show me a "perfect" game. Bitch needs to grow a brain. And the incentive part is hilarious. No incentive except taking over the world is what kickstarted the industry, dumbass. Play some Super Mario Bros. Okay, I'm done ranting now.:twilightsmile:

4089288

the game fell flat

Heh...

4089290 :facehoof: Oh my God. I just realized that was a pun.:facehoof: At least it was a good one.:pinkiehappy:

Super paper mario wasn't as good as the thousand year door in my opinion but that may just be because that game was my childhood wonder. But I still think it was great. Dimentio's final boss theme was bliss to my ears and I respected the game. The fact that this guy thought it was the ten thousand year door made me want to scream but seeing all the rest makes vains pop.

4089864
Oh, when he said Count Bleck was just another villain who "wanted to take over the world", I wanted to punch him from here to next March Break.

4089922

:twilightangry2: Bleck was awesome. And in the end you have to a least give the guy some applause if not shed tears for him

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