Review- The Final Setting of the Sun by NotanImportantPony · 5:41am Jun 30th, 2016
I was contacted by the author NotanImportantPony to do a full review of his story "The Final Setting of the Sun". Thanks for the opportunity! If you or someone you know would like me to review their story, send me a PM.
Some minute spoilers are likely inevitable but will be kept to a minimum.
Before I break down my thoughts by category in depth, I just want to say that during the ending I was like, "Wow, this is really reminiscent of that scene from Warcraft 3 where Arthas returns from Northrend, but I'm not sure it was intentional." Then I read the author's note, which made explicit reference to exactly that scene. Good show, sir.
PLOT: The focus of the story lies primarily upon Sunset Shimmer's return to Canterlot from leading a 12-year war against King Sombra in the north. Some details about the war, a view from the perspective of Blueblood, and small vignettes about the (presumably dead) Mane 6 and their legacy are also included. It appears that Sombra was using a form of death magic to raise the dead/enslave souls for his army, and that this magic is tied to a mirror that Sunset Shimmer is now in possession of (and, indeed, uses toward the beginning of the story), and that the magic is overpowered by light. This feature of the plot is left intentionally unexplained, leaving the reader to draw their own conclusions regarding the mirror and its impact on Sunset Shimmer. Further ambiguity surrounds the fate of Celestia, in addition to her "lesson" that she wishes to teach Sunset, which may include a particular, unexplained book. It would probably be most accurate to describe the story as a "dark thriller".
CHARACTERIZATION: The limited amount of dialogue present in the story (it is mostly a descriptive piece) limits the scope of characterization, but what meaning can be drawn from the characters' actions and diction is pretty powerful. Blueblood is characterized as slightly more mature than he was (a consequence of the war) yet still haughty. Celestia (as a consequence of story events which I will not spoil here) finds herself reduced into a much weaker pony, still sage-like but unable to control or plan events. She is different due to her history in the war, and yet acts the same in her small mannerisms.
Sunset Shimmer is written beautifully. Her words and actions leave the reader completely unaware of what impact the war has had on her, and whether she can be rightly described as a hero or a villain. Indeed, at one point she brushes aside a rose, which dies immediately. Yet a few paragraphs later, she speaks fondly of a stallion in the army who had just received pictures of his newborn foals. In the story's first scene, Sunset Shimmer displays all sorts of interesting traits, including both fear and an authoritative, (seemingly) heartless attitude toward her guard. That Sunset is portrayed as a deeply unnerving and yet "gray" character makes her actions unpredictable and leaves the reader captivated. It also allows for freedom in how the reader interprets the less clear aspects of the story.
MECHANICS: There are minute problems with grammar, the same ones which plague every writer (myself included): using the wrong form of "its", misspelling a word by the omission or addition of a letter, or the use of the wrong version or tense of a word, et cetera. The errors are minor and do not in any way impede the comprehensibility of the story; the author should not be faulted for them.
There are also some technically "incorrect" things about how the author structures his paragraphs and divides his sentences, but I believe that these are intentional and positive. This is covered below.
STYLE AND CONTENT: The author's diction is unique, but overshadowed by the prominent eccentricity with which he structures his writing. Primarily, this takes three forms: first, the use of run-on sentences (more so in description than in dialogue or exposition). Next, the jarring way in which some compound sentences are cut short and unnecessarily divided in two sentences of a single clause each (the second sentence usually beginning in "And"). Finally, primarily during exposition, sentences which usually would be grouped together in a single paragraph are each given their own line.
While usually these would be labeled "serious flaws" in structure and organization, here they play in his favor! If these features are intentional (and indeed, I believe that they are), the author is ingenious in his use of them to establish tone. In addition to the obviously dark nature of the work, these features add an ever-present feeling of unease. Within the story are cacophonous sentences, paragraph breaks that your eyes do not expect, and other such unpleasant structural features which lend themselves to establishing anxiety and apprehension in the reader, who at the same time is compelled to know more because of the intentional ambiguity in the story.
The reader is left thinking, "This is unnerving...Something is very, very wrong here...but I'm not quite sure what, or how deep it all goes. I have to keep reading and see where it goes."
Symbolism is present but limited, and primarily focused on the Mane 6, in particular the small sections in the middle of the story dedicated to their memory. In particular, Twilight's is fascinating (and there is excellent wordplay between "twilight" and "Twilight" that helps drive this home), although still somewhat unclear.
Other things in the story definitely function as symbols, but there is limited or no connection or explanation given to them; you know only that the objects are of great importance, and yet the reader is left clueless as to what meaning they hold. For example, Sunset has jewels in her armor corresponding to her deceased friends, even though the armor itself appears sinister (is it a tribute to them, or something completely evil, even?). The reader is left to wonder, "Sunset's visor? Celestia's Book? The mirror? What do they mean!? Do they even mean anything? Do they mean everything?" and has to find their own answer. Again, this ambiguity is not a fault of the story, it plays to its strengths.
RATING, RECOMMENDATION, FINAL THOUGHTS: I actually garnered more appreciation for the story while I was taking my time to think through it. This is primarily a consequence of the forced ambiguity of the story; one must remove oneself from the experience to begin appreciating its subtleties.
Its strengths lie primarily in the characterization of Starlight, the intentional ambiguity which forces the reader to think without yielding any answer, and the beautiful way in which the author creates his tone.
This is not a story that I came away joyous or inspired from, but honestly that's okay, because that is not what the story was meant to do; it is a story primarily concerned with its tone and impact on the reader at a deeper, less intellectual level, while at the same time forcing one to think. I'm generally not a fan of the dark fictions on the site, but this gave me enough to chew on that I'm beginning to appreciate the intricacies of the genre.
That leads me to the stories weaknesses, which are primarily not a consequence of the author but come from the reader's own biases. For example, the plot itself is not particularly engaging without the impact of the tone or characterization, and enough details are left out to leave those readers who fancy themselves to be meticulous world-builders fuming. One must also be okay with a story that does not give you straight answers- one which forces you to think and doesn't give any indication if you are right or wrong. Other readers might be alienated as well by the gore, or deaths of their beloved waifu(s), or whatever. Ultimately, the story has nothing wrong with it per se; it's just that it may not be for everyone.
I'd give the story an 8/10. It was a deeply unnerving, eccentrically written, makes-you-wanna-think experience that was engaging, even if it wasn't life-changing. It is certainly worth a read if you don't fall into one of the groups listed above, and ESPECIALLY if you are a fan of Dark fictions or Sunset Shimmer.
That's it! I had a lot of fun writing this review, and another thank you to NotanImportantPony for requesting it. For everyone else, PM me if you would like a review!
Thank you for reviewing my story, it was a pleasure to know what someone else thinks of The Final Setting of The Sun.