Two shitty weeks... · 8:41pm Jun 21st, 2016
I don't know if anyone (but me) reads my ramblings, but then again, it does not really matter. In honesty, I mainly write here for myself, as writing about things is supposed to help. Or so I heard.
The last two weeks managed to smash to the top of my 'Worst times in my Life' list, taking the crown from the previous #1 'Dad dies after a week in coma'...
Yeah, my Mom died little more than a week ago. And I was the lucky one to find her dead in bed...
...
Something just shut off inside me. Yes, I cried like a child when I gave my final goodbyes to her, but now... I just feel empty. Hollow. There are periods of intense sadness; especially when I lie awake at 2am. But the rest of the time I just feel nothing. And it scares me.
Sometimes I think I can feel myself crumbling inside, bits breaking away, like an ancient rotten wall, finally about to collapse.
I am very glad I have good friends, though I don't know how I'd deserve them - I've been a pretty shitty friend in the last weeks? months?
How can one have so good friends and still feel alone, I don't want to see anybody yet I am lonely.
Ah well, enough rambling 'Tomorrow is another day' or however that saying goes.
