When in doubt, write something bad about Bad Horse? · 2:16pm Jun 20th, 2016

Awhile ago, I had the great idea to write something that was based on a true story. (Un)Fortunately, I have a liking for the writing style of Hans von Hozel, the greatest writer to have graced the many fandoms on fanfiction.net. Even more (un)fortunate was that My Little Pony was beyond his time.

I dunno. Click the page break if you're in the mood to read something trolltacular?

Bad Horse's Bronycon
One day, Bronycon!
"Yay!" say Bronies!
Suddenly, a Bad Horse!
"FEAR ME!" say Bad Horse to car and it blamBOOM! explode. Tires do a fiery blaze!
"FEAR ME!" say Bad Horse as he trot through registration booth. Registration man give him pass and make a cower!
"You get in free, Bad Horse. Do not put me in the horse dungeon again! Please!"
"FEAR ME!" say Bad Horse to Bronies and they do a scattering.
"We are scared of Bad Horse, for he does the bad, evil, naughty things and make us cry!" cried out Bronies!
"FEAR ME!" say Bad Horse to group of little girls. They cheer and wave around red lightsabers! Bad Horse raise eyebrow as he trot onward.
"FEAR ME-"
Suddenly, a stairs!
Bad Horse fall down stairs!
"Ow, my leg," he groan.
"Here, let me help you up," say Masked Ferret, holding paw out helpfully.
"No," grunt Bad Horse. "I am do myself, for I am a proud." He get up by himself, but fall back down from leg pain.
"Umm... you sure about that?"
0o0o0
Meanwhile, at home, Bookplayer!
"I sense a Bad Horse in trouble!"
She put on magic superhero cape and about to fly away.
Suddenly, Baby Trixie make a cry!
"Aww... I cannot do a save of Bad Horse for I have a do mommy responsibilities."
She hang up cape and rock Trixie to sleep while sing sweet lullaby.
0o0o0
Bad Horse try to get up, but no get up.
Suddenly, Robbie Rotten!
"This horse has made a fall. Construction Man! Make swing of hammer to stairs!"
Construction Man make swing of hammer to stairs and stairs no longer stairs, but wheelchair ramp!
"Ha ha! With your help of making fall down stairs, I can do a turn of all stairs into safer wheelchair ramps! Whole world will do a lazy rolling and it will be peace and quiet. What you say, Bad Horse?" Robbie do a hold out of hand so to make a seal of deal handshake.
"You should not do," say Ferret. "He is a lazy evil!"
"No," say Bad Horse as he eat a Tylenol and then he better! "I evil proud by myself."
He danube to food court, for much falling make him hungry.
"Horse can do trot again. Wheelchair ramp no longer of necessary." Construction Man make a swing of hammer and wheelchair ramp back into stairs!
"Drat!" say Robbie as he kick stairs and break foot.
Masked Ferret make a ferret smile and do a waving of red lightsaber. Bad Horse make evil horse smile.
"FEAR ME!" say Bad Horse to Andrea Libman and then no one to make a voice of Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy!

I only regret not posting this sooner :B

Report yamgoth · 511 views · #Bad Horse #real people fic #trollfic #Hans von Hozel

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Comment posted by Angelic Seattle deleted Jun 20th, 2016

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #2 · Jun 20th, 2016 · 5 · ·

It's... it's like reading a programming language. The syntax is regular enough that I can almost make sense of it.

Themaskedferret

Themaskedferret #3 · Jun 20th, 2016 · 4 · ·

4036034 Oh my gosh, you're right...

also you left out the part where the only way he went to the hospital was a combination of my crying and the EMT ordering him.

Bad Horse

Bad Horse #4 · Jun 20th, 2016 · 4 · ·

4036042 And the part where they kept me there until 3AM, and then I couldn't get a taxi and had to walk six blocks on crutches.

It took almost a year before I could run again after that.

Axis of Rotation

Axis of Rotation #5 · Jun 20th, 2016 · 1 · ·

That's actually when I met bad horse, when he was using those crutches. I first thought he had just come to the con like that.
That Hans von Hoze looks like an amazing writer. :D

Pav Feira