Friendship is Card Games: The Return of Queen Chrysalis · 11:27am Jun 19th, 2016
Hello, all, and welcome to the first of my IDW card blogs. According to the majority of those who answered my earlier input request, going through these chronologically would make the most sense, and I’m inclined to agree. Thus, we begin with the first four issues of the comic and a storyline that might just get invalidated by the Season 6 finale. Of course, that’s just speculation. Let’s proceed to what we know for sure.
Issue 1
We open with the Crusaders trying to get their cutie marks in pretty much anything animal related. Also, I’m going to have to disagree with Sweetie Belle. I’d say the Everfree could be seen as a temperate jungle, and that essentailly is Fluttershy’s backyard.
Going by the group of animals that ambush the Crusaders, it seems that changelings can shapeshift into darn near anything, including creatures with wildly different masses and dimensions than those of ponies.
You know, I’ve looked at this page many a time, including an earlier read of the comic for card ideas, and only now have I noticed the dragon in between Tank and Derpy. I wonder what his or her story is.
Also, it seems rather soon for Philomena to be so close to another burning day.
Also also, I have to wonder about the ramifications of the pony OC of the comic’s writer being replaced by a changeling. That is some deep-level metareference.
Do not interrupt Rarity while she is in the throes of inspiration. At best, you will be ignored. At worst, you will be glamorized to within an inch of your life.
Actually, I’m confused. Have the glowing-eyed ponies been replaced by changelings or just mind controlled? They don’t say much, one drools, and Twilight’s journal labels them as “Infected.” It’s annoyingly vague, especially given the Invasion of the Body-Snatchers reference.
“She’d get rid of them right quick.” I was unaware we had the Rainbow Dash from The Mare Who Once Lived on the Moon in this panel.
Twilight has a copy of Dr. Frankenstein’s treatise on reanimation. Doesn’t surprise me. She’d probably never want to actually cast any necromancy, but I can believe that she’d want to know about the theory behind it.
I have to appreciate that not only does Celestia have an auto-responder, it takes the time to seal her letters first.
Yeah, Derpy’s capture is not helping the brainwashed/replaced ambiguity.
Also, feel free to let her out, guys.
How exactly did nopony notice the radiance streaming out of city hall until it was dramatically convenient?
I do like how Rarity can be a devastating mage-warrior when given the right motivation. Really, the whole fight scene is fantastic.
How exactly did Chrysalis send her scrying orb through Spike? This isn’t a criticism of the story; I’m legitimately curious.
Oh, hey, it’s archonix’s avatar, sans hat and glasses.
Kidnapping the Crusaders is the sort of misdeed where the karmic retribution starts immediately.
I do like how both Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash are rather genre savvy, the latter more accurately than the former. They’ve read enough Daring Do novels to know how supervillains think.
If every magical creature is going to be affected by the passage of the Secretariat Comet, shouldn’t that include literally every pony? I suppose it might be a multiplicative effect that will widen the margin between monsters and ponies to a dangerous degree, but still, ponies definitely qualify as “magical creatures.” Heck, Pinkie’s probably lucky that she didn’t vanish in a puff of logic later on.
Issue 2
Ah, yes, the labyrinthine Mines of Aladdin Sane, where Diamond Dogs went from station to station, working their tin machines for hours for their heathen “heroes,” Ziggy and Stardust. However, all was not hunky dory, as they had to fend off spiders from Mars who emerged from a space oddity.
Young Americans.
Again, I like Dash’s savviness. Twilight might as well have said “nothing can possibly go wrong.”
Judging by the texture of his skin and the moss growing on his shoulders, I think this troll is silicon-based. I am entirely okay with this.
Also, he appears to have had past encounters with Autobots. There may be a story there.
Hmm. Rarity showed a complete lack of discomfort when working with bones. I suppose those creative throes helped her tune it out. It is a bit morbid when you think about it.
Chrysalis’s “divide and conquer” plan does make some sense… at first. However, this is, at the absolute earliest, between Seasons 2 and 3. These girls have defeated gods together. Even if they would believe that some of their closest friends were suddenly talking crap about them, they’d confront them about it. Especially Dash and Pinkie, who were right behind the ersatz Applejack and Rarity.
Yeah, manufactured drama is manufactured.
The spiders have cutie marks atop their abdomens. This raises several questions. Especially Derpy Claws.
I’m not concerned about the main one’s dapper hairstyle and mustache fangs. They’re tarantulas, after all.
And, immediately after the fight against the spiders, the cast decides they should be jerks to one another again, with no one denying the things others claim they said. Sigh.
Not sure whether the map of the southern lands was originally part of issue 2 or 3 since I’m reading from a PDF, but it does have a lot of interesting tidbits, from the still-checkerboarded sight(sic) of the Battle of Discord to the distressingly named Gelding Grotto.
Issue 3
I quite the old-timey style at the beginning and end of this issue, especially the transitory panel.
I find myself wondering how Wuvy-Dovey Smoochy Land managed to survive as long as it did. This planet is kind of a deathworld, and changelings are far from the only monsters. It’s not like the Wuvy-Dovians were on some remote island with no predators. It’s almost like they were put there specifically to get the changelings back up to full strength, after their defeat at the royal wedding, but that would be ludicrous.
Sorry, but it just bugs me. As does the origin of Chrysalis’s scrying orb. Apparently, she just found it sitting in the middle of the town square. You know, as you do.
Also, judging by how it just has some patches of structural spittle here and there, the big, menacing castle was already there. The changelings just moved in.
Twilight muttering bitterly about her friends just seems wrong. At the very least, I’d expect her to be concerned about how it will impact her friendship studies. At least Fluttershy can act as a voice of reason.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with Pinkie’s costume plan.
Chrysalis has apparently learned nothing from her previous defeat. She still sees close emotional bonds as nothing more than a food source, failing to recognize how her prey can turn those bonds against would-be predators.
I do like how the earth pony feels uneasy in the grove of animate flowers. Applejack’s probably getting all kinds of wonky feedback.
I also like the monster designs in general. Plant monsters are always neat, and I’m a sucker for a good chupacabra. I’m not a big fan of the pony-esque color palette of the vampiric jackalopes, but I can’t argue with the concept. And, of course, one of my favorite Fluttershy moments of all time. Nature really is fascinating.
Huh. The Lovey-Dovians have apparently medicinalized pink bismuth. Also, they can travel to nondiegetic planes of narration. Neat.
Issue 4
Again, Chrysalis may be a magical being, but who isn’t in Equestria? Even if most of the rest of the main cast are discounting themselves, at the very least, Rarity is also a unicorn.
The Crusaders terrify Chrysalis. This pleases me.
Hmm. I know the castle’s entry hall is going for an Escher vibe, but there aren’t nearly enough oddly oriented surfaces and impossible staircases for my taste.
I assume the booming riddle voice came with the castle. I think it just works for whoever seems the most dramatically appropriate. Or Pinkie Pie, the true master of all ineffable beings.
I’m honestly astonished by Chrysalis’s self-control. Yes, I know she’d never be allowed to kill the Crusaders, but they were clearly wearing on nerves she didn’t even know she had.
“It must be nice to have a big sister…” That’s more than a little sad… but it does serve as a handy way to date the comic as being before “Sleepless in Ponyville.”
Chrysalis not even getting scratched by the blast that devastated the wall behind her is, in my eyes, even more impressive than the blast itself. It says a lot about just how tough she is. Also, despite winning a beam duel with Celestia, Twilight still knows more about evocation than she does. And it seems there’s more to blasting spells than just throwing magic at something. There’s a technique to it.
The negotiations are a nicely tense scene… though the “goody! goody! goody!” unsound effect as Chrysalis celebrates and her following Bewitched reference rather disrupt the mood. Still, interesting parallels with the Season 5 finale… up to a point.
Yeah, Chryssy never stood a chance. You do not, under any circumstances, mess with Twilight Sparkle’s friends. You will regret it.
Also, I can’t help but think of Spongebob as Chrysalis’s crown flies off. (“I didn’t know this was a hat!” “It… wasn’t.”)
Okay, no. Comets do not buzz castles. There are so many things wrong with that panel. (Of course, next time, I’m going to have deal with Celestia lassoing the moon…)
I do like how Spike got his own adventurer rather than just sitting around with his thumb up his butt. Good on him.
Huh. I guess the Mane Six aren’t too comfortable around Celestia yet, given how they’re dragging off the Crusaders for fear of annoying her.
Judging by the marked absence of statues in “In the Interim…”, it appears that those mutant cockatrices lost the petrification gene. No wonder they lost.
In all, this was a strong start to the comic, though not without its issues. Still, quite fun, and devoid of some of the headdesk-inducing stupidity later issues will bring. But that will be a concern for another time. For now, let’s get to the cards:
Wuvy-Dovey Fodder W
Creature — Cat Citizen
Lifelink
B, Sacrifice Wuvy-Dovey Fodder: Target player discards a card. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
Chrysalis kept some of the Wuvy-Dovians around just so she could enjoy killing them as gruesomely as possible.
1/1
Unseen Oubliette WW
Enchantment
Flash
When Unseen Oubliette enters the battlefield, exile target attacking creature until Unseen Oubliette leaves the battlefield.
"Watch that first step."
—Queen Chrysalis
Wuvy-Dovey Welcome 2W
Enchantment
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, each player gains life equal to that creature’s power.
Wuvy-Dovey Smoochy Land welcomed all visitors with open arms, using their sheer adorability to soften the hearts of their aggressors. Then came the changelings.
Automated Response UU
Instant
Counter target spell. That spell’s controller investigates. (He or she puts a colorless Clue artifact token onto the battlefield with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.)
“I had to send something back. It would’ve been rude otherwise.”
—Princess Celestia
Encasing Wave 3UU
Sorcery
Detain all creatures target player controls. (Until your next turn, those creatures can’t attack or block and their activated abilities can’t be activated.)
”Please, stay a while. I encyst.”
—Queen Chrysalis
Vampiric Jackalopes 1B
Creature — Vampire Rabbit
Lifelink
Whenever a non-Rabbit creature dies, you may pay B. If you do, put a 1/1 black Vampire Rabbit creature token with lifelink onto the battlefield.
Insatiable hunger. Incomparable fertility.
1/1
Wall of Eroplasm 2B
Creature — Wall
Defender
Whenever Wall of Eroplasm is dealt combat damage, attacking player loses that much life.
”By all means, keep struggling.”
—Queen Chrysalis
0/5
Changeling Conquest 3B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant land
Enchanted land has “B, T: Target player loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.”
Whatever structures once stood here now serve as scaffolding for the hive.
Agonize 3BB
Sorcery
For each creature target player controls, that creature gets -3/-3 until end of turn unless that player discards a card.
”Choose, little pony. Your friends or your heart?”
—Queen Chrysalis
Troll’s Play R
Sorcery
Choose one —
• Troll’s Play deals 3 damage to target creature.
• Destroy target artifact.
”Gentle” is a relative term.
King David Bowwow 2RR
Legendary Creature — Hound Warrior
Other Hound creatures you control get +1/+1.
Whenever a Hound you control attacks, add R to your mana pool.
1R: Target Hound creature gains first strike until end of turn.
The king always kept his workers under pressure.
3/2
Seething Animosity 3RR
Enchantment
Whenever one or more creatures attack, Seething Animosity deals damage to each of those creatures equal to the number of nonattacking creatures attacking player controls.
1R: Target creature attacks this turn if able.
Surge-Fed Cockatrice 3RR
Creature — Cockatrice Mutant
Flying
Vanishing 3 (This creature enters the battlefield with three time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from it. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)
Surge-Fed Cockatrice gets -1/-1 for each time counter on it.
6/6
Cave Troll Collector 5R
Creature — Troll
Sacrifice an artifact: Gain control of Cave Troll Collector. Any player may activate this ability, but only any time that player could cast a sorcery.
He owes his allegiance to whoever gave him his newest toy.
6/6
Scholar’s Wrath 6RR
Instant
Scholar’s Wrath deals damage to target creature or player equal to the total converted mana cost of all instant and sorcery cards in your graveyard.
A lifetime of careful study condensed into a moment of purest rage.
Fluttershy’s Menagerie 1GG
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal the top card of your library. If it’s a creature card, put it into your hand.
Fluttershy has countless subjects in her fiefdom of the animal kingdom.
Log Roll 2G
Sorcery
Green creatures you control gain islandwalk until end of turn.
”Pinkie Pie is small potatoes. You haven’t seen bizarre until you’ve seen a baloth cruise down a river.”
—Ditzy Doo
Strabismic Spider 3G
Creature — Spider
Reach
Strabismic Spider can block an additional three creatures each combat.
”This is why I don’t use biomancy.”
—Ditzy Doo
2/4
Vengeful Blossoms 3G
Creature — Plant
Vengeful Blossoms gets +1/+1 for each land card in a graveyard.
1G, Sacrifice a land: Vengeful Blossoms gains trample until end of turn.
Every corsage is an insult. Every bouquet is a desecration.
1/1
Giant Tarantula 5GG
Creature — Spider
Reach, vigilance, trample
Whenever Giant Tarantula deals combat damage to a player, put a 3/3 Spider creature token with reach onto the battlefield.
”Of course. The dank and damp weren’t enough.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
5/5
Hero’s Medal 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature has renown 1. (When it deals combat damage to a player, if it isn’t renowned, put a +1/+1 counter on it and it becomes renowned.)
As long as equipped creature is renowned, it has first strike, trample, and vigilance.
Equip 2
Awarded not to those who have earned it, but to those who will.
Oversized Selfsuit 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+2.
Whenever a triggered ability of equipped creature is triggered, copy that ability. You may choose new targets for the copy. (A triggered ability uses the words “when,” “whenever,” or “at.”)
Equip 4
The only way to make Pinkie more Pinkie than she already is.
Orb of Chrysalis 4
Artifact
1, T: Look at the top card of target player’s library. You may put that card on the bottom of that library.
The changeling queen’s most prized possessions are as manipulative as she is.
Slapdash Simulacrum X
Artifact Creature — Construct
You may have Slapdash Simulacrum enter the battlefield as a copy of any creature on the battlefield with converted mana cost X or less, except it’s an artifact in addition to its other types.
It’s a shoddy craftspony who can’t work with multiple media.
0/0
Cometary Conjunction
(UR) Sorcery
Suspend 4 — 2(ur)(ur) (Rather than cast this card from your hand, pay 2(ur)(ur) and exile it with four time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, cast it without paying its mana cost.)
Until your next turn, each player may cast nonland cards from his or her hand without paying their mana costs.
Retributive Scolding 1WU
Instant
Return each creature you don’t control that dealt damage this turn to its owner’s hand.
”Do not hurt Fluttershy’s friends.
Do not hurt Fluttershy’s friends.
Do not hurt Fluttershy’s friends.”
—Unbridled Aggression, changeling warrior
Aggravating Hostage 1UB
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
You control enchanted creature.
Enchanted creature can’t attack.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life.
Simian Shinobi 1GU
Creature — Monkey Ninja
Ninjutsu GU (GU, Return an unblocked attacker you control to hand: Put this card onto the battlefield from your hand tapped and attacking.)
Simian Shinobi can’t be blocked except by creatures with flying or reach.
Whenever Simian Shinobi deals combat damage to a player, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
2/1
Synchronized Shift 2GU
Instant
Creatures you control have base power and toughness X/Y until end of turn, where X is target creature’s power and Y is its toughness.
”Fight amongst yourselves. I’ll give you a target.”
—Queen Chrysalis
Changeling Duplicant 3WU
Creature — Shapeshifter
As Changeling Duplicant enters the battlefield, you may exile a creature an opponent controls for as long as Changeling Duplicant is on the battlefield. If you do, Changeling Duplicant enters the battlefield as a copy of that creature.
0/0
Woodland Chupacabra 3BG
Creature — Vampire Beast
Menace
Whenever Woodland Chupacabra becomes blocked, it gets +2/+2 for each creature blocking it until end of turn.
Whenever Woodland Chupacabra blocks or becomes blocked by a Goat, it gains deathtouch and lifelink until end of turn.
3/3
The Destructor Form 4UB
Legendary Creature — Avatar Horror
Indestructible, menace
Whenever The Destructor Form becomes the target of a spell or ability, if it’s the target of another spell or ability, sacrifice it.
Grazer the Grazerian wreaks untold havoc regardless of his shape.
6/6
Æther Armory 4R(wu)
Instant
Search your library for an artifact card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library. That artifact gains haste. If it’s an Equipment, you may attach it to a creature you control. Return it to your hand at the beginning of the next end step.
”Where did you even get that!?”
—Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty
Lurking in the Cracks
Conspiracy
Hidden agenda (Start the game with this conspiracy face down in the command zone and secretly name a card. You may turn this conspiracy face up any time and reveal the chosen name.)
You may cast spells with the chosen name as though they had flash.
The Convergence is Upon Us
Ongoing Scheme
(An ongoing scheme remains face up until it’s abandoned.)
When you set this scheme in motion or at the beginning of your upkeep, put a fate counter on The Convergence is Upon Us
Spells you cast cost 1 less to cast for each fate counter on The Convergence is Upon Us.
At the beginning of your end step, if you didn’t cast a spell this turn, abandon The Convergence is Upon Us.
We Walk Among You Unseen
Scheme
When you set this scheme in motion, transform any number of target permanents. Gain control of each permanent that transformed this way. (Only double-faced cards can be transformed.)
“Your trust has doomed you as surely as your incompetence.”
The first storyline was very strong, but I gotta admit I still think the most memorable part was Fluttershy's "Nature is so fascinating". You may already be aware that at some point someone got Andrea Libman to speak the lines at a panel. It starts near the very end, at 17.15:
That line is so freaking clever. I applaud you, good sir.
Scholar's Wrath is an exceedingly interesting spell. Also, it's one that's likely to straight-up win you the game if you cast it late enough.
Baloth? That sure is a funny way of spelling Craterhoof Behemoth.
I see that Orb of Chrysalis is not so much a scrying orb as it is a fateseal orb.
Would I be correct in saying that Cometary Conjunction can only be cast via suspend? That said, this, too, is a very interesting card. I can see this card turning a commander game utterly upside-down. Or at least ending it rather quickly.
Funny, I don't remember seeing any monkey ninjas in the comic... Guess that means they were good.
Interesting choice to make Changeling Duplicant WU. Don't normally see white mana anywhere near changelings, but it does sorta fit. Especially if you decide to make their whole society Esper.
So the only way to get rid of The Destructor Form is to cross the streams? (Well, aside from just banishing it from the local dimension.) Fitting.
Æther Armory: I wonder what sort of *CoughCoughSpineOfIshsawCough* artifact I should grab...
We Walk Among You Unseen seems kinda ridiculously situational for a scheme, given how seldom transformation appears as a mechanic. I love The Convergence Is Upon Us, though. So flavorful!
The Lovey-Dovians are just the changelings' livestock, much like the fat little domesticated mammals the spiders raise in the faux-documentary The Future Is Wild.
I liked how genre savvy Dash was, too. Too bad nopony listened to her. It's one of my pet peeves when characters knowingly walk into a trap without a plan. You have to give the characters some kind of plan even though it's destined to go awry, otherwise you're just making them hold the idiot ball.
And yeah, the whole set-up was a little too convenient for Queen Chrysalis.
Still, the comic did have a lot of enjoyable moments. Even though the excuse for the party split was cliché and forced, I did like the way the pairs played off each other. And some of the monsters were creative.
That sound effect for Chrysalis offing one of the Luv Dovians though...
Grazer the Grazarian, worshiped by the hooftites and ancient Sumareians. Thanks for that reference!
4033376
I did know, but it's always hilarious to see that reading.
4033589
Cometary Conjunction is indeed suspend-only. After all, it's a comet. It's going to take a while for the thing to get where you want it to be.
Pinkie mentions monkey ninjas at the end of Issue 1. We never see any, but as you noted, they wouldn't be very good ninjas if they were readily visible.
Chrysalis is very Esper-ish in this comic, controlling, domineering, and dismissive of the very emotion she eats. Even in defeat, she insists that Twilight can't stop her, that she isn't allowed to stop her.
Pinkie keeps spines stashed all around Equestria in case of spine emergencies.
We Walk Among You Unseen is meant more for your own benefit, acting as a sort of super-Moonmist that also hatches Ludevic's Test Subject, awakens the Thing in the Ice, and so forth. Anything you got off of your opponents is just gravy.
4033621
They're clearly unfamiliar with one another when they first meet, but that does sadly appear to be the role the Lovey-Dovians now fill. Still, they appear to be psychologically incapable of any emotion other than love, so they don't seem to mind.
4033662
How could I resist? Heck, I even did a full mock-up of The Destructor Form.
4033742
Ludevic's Test Subject is one of my all-time favorite cards.
With that as the flavor text, how could I not love it?
"throes of inspiration"
And you're brave to do this for all the comics. I tried a couple and couldn't stand 'em.
Ah, Return of Chrysalis, one of the great comics of IDW's early run. And sadly enough, probably the best that the multi-part adventure arcs ever got. I liked Nightmare Rarity well enough, but it wasn't quite as solid as Return.
Clearly multiversal driftwood. Some alternate Derpy from a universe of spiders probably landed there by accident and has yet to realise that she's in the wrong place.
4034104
The worst part is that I get it right later on. Thanks for the heads-up.
Also, I look forward to seeing how far duty and curiosity can get me as I read these.
4035406
As good a theory as any I've heard for Derpy Claws. I guess there really was a space oddity.