Epic Rap Battles of The Fall: Stalliongrad vs Lindisbarn · 4:03pm Jun 15th, 2016
In a misty expanse looking like the steppes butting against a hardwood forest two figures approached one another. Clanking and staggering under heavy chains and dragging an iron ball was a stallion, seemingly clad in nothing but his bindings, emerging from the forest. From the steppe smartly marched a mare in a red-toned military uniform. Shackles on her wrists and ankles trailed broken chains, and she had a hammer and sickle in her hands, the weapons crossed over her chest. The two glared at each other, the stallion with a semi-feral sneer and hunched posture, the mare with a noble and upright stare.
From out of the mist, a voice came. "Epic Rap Battles of The Fallen Equestria. The Collective Will of the Stalliongradi Diaspora, versus The Remnants of Lindisbarn! Begin!"
Lindisbarn
Well now look here, what do I see?
Crawling little grubs saying "Don't tread on me!"
If your army is red it's because you all bled
City fell like all, just piled with the dead.
You think you're better than your fellow slaves
Because rather than serve your rest in graves.
Wake up and smell the se
n and have some real talk
All Equestrians are good for is warming caribou ck,
Giving a massage and the occasional baby,
Grovel in their sht and they'll forgive you. Maybe!
Stalliongrad
Nyet! I deny you! Mock and deride you!
The Legion and the Marshal stand in the face of the caribou!
It's true citizens died and how they cried to abandon the city they held with pride,
But every legionnaire holds their head up, see
For all the citizens who live thanks to them live FREE!
And you cringing curs are certainly right
To throw hate at the bite of Marshal Muscovite
He will crush your masters to the nation's thanks
Then come in and liberate your ungrateful flanks!
The Red Legion cares little for your petulence and spite
Every tovarich only cares about that which is right!
Lindisbarn
Well of course a collective like you is weak
Femmy and free and full of freaks!
Chains are the natural order and the right right way to be
The caribou said, good enough for me!
We fought and failed and accept defeat
Now think abuse is the ultimate treat.
It's easier to live when you get to survive
I guess you hold no respect for being alive?
Sure, in a few generations we'll be idiot whores
But better serving monsters than knocking on Heaven's doors!
Stalliongrad
What profit would it be to talk to you any longer?
No words and no shame would make you any stronger.
We are strong with the rebels and obey the Black Knight
And give your barbarian cka a damn good fright.
Lindisbarn
No! Not a word about the God-king we fear
You bay and you spit but have no idea
He is the best and the biggest and brightest and most
He subdued our inferior asses with his host!
We love you, antlered god of life and death
We praise you with our expiring breath.
Your soldiers beat and kill but it's all we earn
For we once we thought wrong now the world has turned
We used to be bies in the rule of mares
But every proud one, they all got theirs
You proved you were better with contrivance and powers
And we Lindisbarn cts all got ours!
Stalliongrad
Now see how the lowly little worm has turned!
You tossed your mind on the pyre when your honor was burned!
You used to be proud to sing, laugh and play,
How could you let some alien monster take it away?
You fair weather friend, you two-faced fool,
Is that what you want, your foals to grovel and drool?
You just accept the fate of chained stupidity,
The ultimate example of quivering perfidy!
You are a coward, a craven and a flinching cog
Unable to stand before our commanding Dog!
Fine, be nothing, if that is what you will do
But then know that the Marshal still does this for you.
You dishonor your nation and the Equestrian name;
You will be made free of chains... but never your shame.
Who's next? You decide!
The Griffin High Kingdom vs The Zebra Puppet State
King Minos vs Shining Armor
Legion Marshal Muscovite Alexandritovich, Pavlov vs Vidkun
Queen Phobia vs Queen Chrysalis
Yay! You're not dead!
4024089
Some days I feel like it. This is the time of year when my allergies are worst and I may or may not have had a sinus infection that pounded into me.
Who are 'Lindisbarn' and 'Stalliongrad'?
The Griffon High Kingdom vs the Zebra Puppet State!
4024142
Ever seen a national representation? Like Marianne for France, Brittania for Britain, Columbia for the US? This is sort of like that, but these characters represent the Collective wills and identities of their groups, in this case being my stand-in for a pan-Soviet city-state and one of the only towns I remember mentioned in the idiotic Fall of Equestria canon. It's an ideological battle between the defeated rationalizing their defeat and continued slavery and the bloodily battered scattered refugees who hold pride in the fact that they lived to fight another day even if the central city was toppled.
King Minos vs Shinning Armor!
Legion Marshal Muscovite Alexandritovich, Pavlova vs Vidkun because last time it was finland scaring the shit out of much bigger russia.
Oh, by all means and measure, give me Phobia vs. Chryssie! I wanna see bitching back and forth!
... as a secondary, I'd take Pav vs. Vid...