ZooDemo #1

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Have you ever wondered what it was like for an author when they first started writing fanfiction for something? Well... it sorta starts out with them writing random drafts and scenes, tying to understand and get into the character's personalities. Well... at least that's how it starts for me.

So, basically, I've spent about a week writing various prompts for Zootopia, trying to understand how to portray the characters in the movie, so that I can get them all set for the upcoming story "Foreign."

Now, because I'm a kind and sharing person, I decided to share part of my personally favorite draft with you. It's the one I feel is very well-written, and captures the characters the best, while still managing to show off my own, personal flare of writing.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

ZooDemo #1

The tall walls of the submerged exhibit rose up around the two. Fake grass and animals were positioned carefully, allowing for the visitors above to have a complete view of the entire scene, while still managing to appear quite natural. This meticulously planned setup allowed for the small sheep above to have a perfect view.

Judy glared up at Mayor Bellwether, with Nick taking an equally strong stance at her side. Pure fury radiated out from her hard gaze, as if trying to burn her betrayer with its intensity. The pain from her gashed lag only added fuel to the fire burning inside her.

“What are you going to do?” she asked. “Kill me?” Spite filled her voice as she challenged the mayor.

“Kill you?” the shep repeated, before she began to laugh. “Oh, ho ho… no, of course not!” Suddenly her face twisted into a sickening grin as she lifted the Nighthowler launcher from its hidden placement behind the briefcase.

“He is.”

There was a slight poof, as sound that did not justify the horror it launched. A dull, wet splat echoed around the pit as a blueberry smashed into the side of Nick’s neck. The fox let out a fake yelp as he fell onto his stomach. Everything was going according to plan.

Until Judy’s keen ears picked up the near-silent sound of glass breaking.

The bunny rushed to her partner’s side, desperately hoping the small sound was nothing. “No!” she cried. “Nick!” He turned over slightly, and Judy saw with horror a dark, blue stain coming through his shirt pocket. He had fallen on the capsule, and it broke, releasing the real Nighthowler serum into his body.

Judy could hear Bellwether dramatically saying something up above her, but her mind payed no attention. “No, Nick! Don’t do this! Fight it!” she said, no longer acting, but real pain and fear echoing in her voice. She placed her paws on his back, feeling as he breathed and panted heavily, trying to calm him down.

“Oh, but he can’t help it, can he?” the sheep taunted from above. “Since preds are biologically predisposed to be savages-”

Her rant was cut off in Judy’s ears by a sudden, primal growl coming from below her. She backed off fearfully, and sat frozen as she watched his beautiful green eyes get overtaken by dark, black pupils. The bunny threw herself backwards with a cry of fear as she got up and turned towards her menacingly.

Judy managed to get herself up, and began to limp away from the savage fox that was her friend. Nick instantly began to chase after her, having a considerable advantage. She ran into a stuffed deer, and threw it behind her, watching as it smacked into the side of the fox.She then dove into the tall, fake grass ahead of her, backing away. Nick tore into the stuffed prey as it it were real, sending bits of stuffing flying everywhere. Judy watched in horror, realizing that would probably be her in a few moments.

Mayor Bellwether continued her antagonizing speech up above but Judy could no longer pay attention. Primal adrenaline and fear coursed through her body, a feeling bunnies had not felt in a very long time. She had lines that the two had planned to play out before, but they escaped her now and Nick’s eyes rose up from the mutilated deer, and met hers.

She quickly brushed the grass in order to block his line of sight, hoping in vain that he wouldn’t find her. Her gaze looked upwards to see the sheep standing over her, gun held haphazardly in one of her cloven hoofs.

“And I’ll dart every predator in Zootopia if I have to.”

A loud growl came from right before her, and Judy let out a short scream as Nick’s muzzle broke through the grass, teeth bared and eyes full of murder. “Oh… Nick…” she said softly, as the first tears began to well up in her eyes. She back up until she felt her back press against the hard cement wall. “No… please!”

“Heh heh,” came the sheep’s augh. “Bye-bye, bunny!”

The fox that used to be Nick stalked forwards slowly, drawing out the painful fear of impending death. He stood over her, eyes never leaving hers as her body racked with sobs. This was how she was going to die. Her friend, the fox that she loved, was going to maul her.

Judy refused to close her eyes, Nick’s muzzle right in front of her face. Her deep, violet eyes were locked onto the dark pupils of the fox before her, pleading him to back off. He showed no signs of doing so.

Suddenly, he leapt forward, and Judy let out a loud and powerful scream as powerful jaws came around her neck. Pain exploded in her mind as blood poured from the new wound. Her ears went numb first, as the blood slowly drained from her body, seeping out into the mouth of her friend.

As her vision began to blur, she weakly reached up her arms and wrapped then around the neck of her friend, holding him tight one, last time, as she spoke the words she never got to say to him. “I… I love you… Nick.”

She welcomed the darkness that came next, still desperately holding onto Nicholas Wilde.

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Amazing, I know.

Don't cry, that's not the full thing. I just didn't feel like posting 4K words into a blog post.

Brohoof /)

PS. Feedback welcomed. I have no idea what I'm doing!