After yesterday’s “serious business” episode, it’s time for something a bit more light.

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And it’s #47: “Ponyville Confidential.”

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TECHNICAL SPECS:

Season: 2
Episode: 23
Written By: M. A. Larson
First Aired: March 31, 2012

SUMMARY:

The Cutie Mark Crusaders have hit another snag: another pony, Featherweight, has earned his Cutie Mark (photography) before them. When Apple Bloom sees a copy of the school’s student-run newspaper, The Foal Free Press, she decides that their next Crusading activity will be joining the paper’s staff. Unfortunately, the last editor has graduated, and the new one is Diamond Tiara, who wishes to expand the paper beyond its humble roots and into a town-wide phenomenon.

The Crusaders briefly consider quitting, but decide to suffer under Tiara’s reign until they have their marks. Sweetie Belle writes an article on Rarity’s latest fashion line, Scootaloo tries to follow a family of baby birds, and Apple Bloom attempts to write down a history of Ponyville, but Diamond Tiara rejects all three and throws them out to find a better story. Fortunately, the three run into Snips and Snails, who have gotten themselves stuck together via bubblegum. Featherweight takes the picture, and the three write a gossip article about the event, signing the column together as “Gabby Gums.”

Diamond Tiara gladly accepts the story, and it becomes a hit amongst the schoolfoals. But when Rarity snoops through Sweetie Belle’s saddlebags and enjoys the paper, the Crusaders realize that they can take things a step further. Together, the three dig up all sorts of horrid and embarrassing secrets – they even find Trixie and get dirt on Princess Celestia – and the paper becomes a hit amongst all of Ponyville, including the Mane 6. Only Twilight is concerned at the effect this will have on the ponies in the story, since Gabby Gums is willing to target anypony.

The three decide to write an interview with Spike, but Diamond Tiara rejects the story in favor of more gossip. Naturally, the next ponies to get slammed are the Mane 6 themselves, who very quickly change their tune once they’re the ones getting embarrassed. Rarity is the only one who doesn’t seem to care…until Gabby Gums prints her diary, at which point she swears death and vengeance. When the others suggest that she ask Sweetie Belle who Gabby Gums is, however, she is offended…until she snoops anyway, and discovers her diary amongst Sweetie Belle’s belongings.

Enraged, Rarity kicks down the door to her workroom, where Sweetie is busy reading. Sweetie tries to defend her actions, but Rarity counters by stating the obvious: would she want her special talent to be making other ponies feel miserable? Sweetie and the others try to quit as a result, but Diamond Tiara brings out her trump card. She had Featherweight take pictures of everything, including the three when they were failing at their initial stories, and if they don’t continue the column, somepony else will, and these pictures will be the first ones used. Desperate to not suffer the same fate they had inflected on the whole town, the Crusaders try to get some more dirt, but the entire town is now onto them and refuse to speak to them…sometimes violently. Even Big Macintosh is so angry that he actually speaks.

Defeated, and with no time left to find anything else, the Crusaders retreat to their clubhouse, in agony over not having their marks. Oh, and the whole “becoming social pariahs” thing is a pain, too. In the end, however, the three finally submit an article, which a desperate Diamond Tiara prints without question. But when she reads the paper later (after stealing it from Dinky), she’s aghast to discover that the column is actually an admission of guilt from the three, as well as the “letter” for the week. They admit that they allowed their newfound fame to get to their heads, but only because it seemed like everypony liked what they were doing. Now they know that gossip can be hurtful, and publicly apologize for everything they’ve done.

An enraged Diamond Tiara plots to print the blackmail material anyway, but is cut off at the pass by Cheerilee. Having realized what was going on (probably because of the last Gabby Gums article), she demotes Tiara to working as a printer, and promotes her accomplice Featherweight to the editor-in-chief position. And all is made right in the world…

Oh, and Celestia loves cake, which means I was actually right about something!

REVIEW:

Back when I did the analysis of Season Two, I listed “Ponyville Confidential” as one of the runners-up for the not-so-good episodes. So when I fired it up again to give it another shot, I sincerely hoped that I had just watched it on a bad day, or was looking at it from the wrong angle. But that turned out not to be the case. While there are some good bits here (it’s a M. A. Larson episode, after all), there’s still a lot of poor writing decisions and technical issues that have to be addressed.

Featherweight is…well…an interesting design. I like that they’re not sticking to the same body types for every single pony, but seriously, he needs to eat something. How those legs hold him up is a riddle for the ages.

The bits where Sweetie and Scootaloo try (and fail) to use the newspaper for everything but its intended use is filler of the filliest quality. This entire scene could have been cut out and nothing would have been lost. Instead, it leaves the two looking like complete idiots, while Apple Bloom is just laughing at their stupidity-induced misery. I did like the newspaper sailing boat, though.

And now we get to the real start of the episode, where I am once again reminded of how angry Cheerilee makes me. For all the talk of her being an awesome teacher, she is so completely blind to what’s going on around her that it’s amazing she was able to get through whatever program Equestria requires before you go into a classroom. Even worse, she doesn’t involve herself in the episode at all, even when it becomes more and more obvious that Diamond Tiara is taking the paper in a very unfriendly, unwelcome direction.

As for Tiara, while I do like that they’re adding to her character a bit, there’s something with her that bothers me the entire episode: the voice acting. For the CMC and Mane 6, everything’s pretty much fine, but everypony else just feels off. Diamond Tiara’s voice is significantly lower this time around, and while this worked when she was five seconds away from wanting pictures of Spider-Mare, it just sounds horribly jarring. And then we get to the rest of the foals, who all sound like they’re in their late 30s to early 40s. The printer’s voice is probably the worst; they were going for an authentic sound, but it’s disconcerting to see something that deep come out of somepony so young.

The whole point of the scene is to establish Tiara’s role as the evil editor. This is a fairly abrupt twist for her, considering that the last time she appeared had her still whining and sniveling like a spoiled brat, but given her father’s role as a businessman it’s understandable that she’d have some of his business savvy. And it’s nice to see the CMC debate whether or not it’s a good idea to run while they still can, although the desire for marks obviously wins in the end. Before I leave, though, I have to say I liked the fat colt (that little fez is just adorable on him), and this scene is probably the funniest Lampshade Hanging on the whole “pony names” issue:

The failed attempts at getting a story are actually pretty good, in that they both set up for the blackmail at the end and showcase the three in a fairly interesting way. Obviously, Sweetie Belle turns to Rarity for news, and gets a taste of her latest fashion idea…which is actually kind of hideous, but in a cute way. Scootaloo’s bit is the only callback to the opening bits, as she goes to the same bird’s nest they had stuffed with newspaper, and I liked how she still can’t fly. Apple Bloom more or less tries to get more Ponyville history, but gets saddled with embarrassing baby photos. And of course, DT throws them out because those wouldn’t hold up an episode, nor are they particularly newsworthy.

Snips and Snails getting stuck in gum was funny enough, especially when you try to figure out how they got in that position to begin with. Now, them getting their fur shaved off…well, that’s what happens when you get gum stuck in your hair like that, but still, it’s not exactly a pleasant sight. Oh, and Cutie Marks can be shaved off. Good to know. I also liked the reasoning behind the “Gabby Gums” pseudonym, as it shows camaraderie between the three even as they try to get their marks.

The CMC just sitting around and waiting for another story was a cute little scene, especially when S&S tried to get their attention with the same gum trick. But then we get to one of the things I will be complaining loudly about later on in this review. Rarity snoops through her little sister’s bags, reads the newspaper, and then shows it to her friends, which gives Sweetie Belle the idea to spread their gossip out over the entire town. I did like the little flick Sweetie gives Rarity’s horn, although that must hurt like heck.

The bit with Pound and Pumpkin throwing a fit in a store, besides being something everyone who’s ever had kids knows about, is mostly just there to establish that Diamond Tiara’s plan to expand the Foal Free Press to the mainstream. The real next important scene is when the Mane 6 are in the spa. Naturally, they’re all completely interested in the gossip, even as Twilight raises the important issue that Gabby Gums doesn’t care who she destroys for a story. The bit with the cucumbers was simultaneously funny and a little disgusting. And of course, the bit with Dash freaking out over ponies touching her hooves was funny, and I liked that you can see Featherweight spying on the scene…

The short scene where the CMC start feeling guilty after their interview with Spike is axed is probably one of the most effective in the episode. The trio acknowledge that they’re feeling guilty about the whole “public humiliation” thing, and do acknowledge that they want to write softer, nicer stories. What hurts it a bit, though, is that Sweetie decides to give them what they want…so they can get their Cutie Marks…which haven’t appeared at all by this point. You know, if your attempt to earn your Special Talent is making you feel deep-seated guilt over your actions, maybe that’s a sign that you should stop. But no, we have to wait for Miss Hypocrite herself to get that message across.

And look, here she is now. Watching the Mane 6 freak out over becoming the latest targets for Gabby Gums’ smear campaign is just poetic justice in and of itself. But again, I can’t say what the underlining issue is until later… Again, though, Rarity is just fine watching her friends’ reputations be ruined…until she gets exposed to. And when she finds out that Sweetie Belle was partially behind this, she calls her the most evil pony ever and kicks down her door…so she can chastise her for doing the same thing Rarity did that started this whole mess.

And from this point on, the episode just goes downhill. Diamond Tiara reveals that she has blackmail material on all three, and will expose them all if they don’t keep up the gossip. But now that the whole town knows who they are, all of the grown adults treat them like they’re the lowest scum. Rainbow Dash dumping rain on them was pointlessly cruel. Twilight erected a force field around her library was just petty. Fluttershy…ugh, I just hated what they did with her here, although I did love Angel slamming the door in their faces. In fact, the only one that did make sense was when AJ gave them the silent treatment and Big Mac chewed them out.

And now we get to what frustrates me so much with this episode. The entire story revolves around the CMC getting caught in a positive feedback loop. They write gossip, ponies love it, so they write more gossip. The ending, however, places all the blame on the CMC while barely even mentioning that the only reason they did any of this is because the other ponies loved watching others get torn down. As Sweetie Belle said, they gave them exactly what they wanted, and they only objected when the crosshairs fell on them. Even when Rarity was explaining that snooping doesn’t feel good, she didn’t sound remorseful; she was angry at Sweetie Belle for doing the same thing she did.

I do like that the CMC didn’t just humiliate Diamond Tiara in the end, but rather just snuck through the apology letter. It showed a great deal of maturity, probably more than the rest of the town’s grown population. And while it’s nice to see Tiara suffer karmic retribution, I can’t say I approve of Featherweight, her accomplice, getting promoted to replace her. It wasn’t like he was sorry, either.

CONCLUSION:

What infuriates me about “Ponyville Confidential” is that it raises an interesting question about gossip and the media, starts building up to an interesting and relatively mature examination of it, and then drops the ball in the last act by turning it into “People who gossip are bad, but those who enjoy watching others suffer do not deserve any of the blame.” Throw in the awful voice work, and you have an episode that just feels rushed. I don’t hate it by any means, but it’s definitely one of my least favorites in Season Two.

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Next time: a happy episode!

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Please?