My Little 40K: Friendship is Heresy · 5:07pm Jun 6th, 2016

This last weekend, I went to a small gaming convention in St. Louis and ran a mashup of My Little Pony and Warhammer 40K. Here's how I described it:

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only discord. It has been 10,000 years since the Lunar Heresy, when Warmistress Luna betrayed the Imperium of Equestria as Nightmare Moon, Champion of Chaos. The God-Empress of Ponykind banished Luna and ended the war, but her terrible wounds imprisoned her on the Golden Throne in Holy Canterlot. Now Twilight Sparkle of the Solar Knights Chapter of Equinoughts, the Empress’ space marines, must defend the planet Semper Liber from the prophesized return of Nightmare Moon. At her side is the Safeguard, a collection of Equinoughts from many Chapters, brought together by the Inquisition to defend the Imperium from the alien, the witch, and the traitor.

I made up some character sheets, borrowing some images used in SFaccountant's wonderful Iron Hearts fanfic.

In the Game, the Mane Six were all Equinoughts in the Empress's Space Marines. We had:

Twilight Sparkle, Solar Knight Librarian--The Solar Knights were a mashup of the Grey Knights and the Ultramarines, and a Librarian is a psychic.

Rarity, A Fabulous Techmarine--The Fabulous are equivalent to the Raven Guard, one of the more subtle Space Marine chapters, and a Techmarine maintains the Space Marines' gear and armor.

Rainbow Dash, a Wonderbolt Assault Marine--The Wonderbolts are a version of the White Scars, who are all about speed, and an Assault Marine gets up close and personal with their foes.

Fluttershy, an Angel of Kindness Apothecary--The Angels of Kindness are equivalent to the the Blood Angels, and an Apothecary is a medic who also euthanizes mortally injured Space Marines and harvests their genetic legacy for future generations of Space Marines.

Applejack, an Honest Apple Terminator Marine--The Honest Apples are a version of the Imperial Fists, and Terminators wear extra heavy armor.

Pinkie Pie, a Surprise Party Chaplain--The Surpise Party is more or less equivalent to the Salamanders, and a Chaplain is pretty much the morale/political officer of the Space Marine, ensuring that no treachery or heresy infects the ranks. SMILE OR DIE!

In the game, Twilight Sparkle learned of a prophecy that Nightmare Moon would return soon. She immediately contacted the Goddess Empress of Ponykind, who sent the following through a Text-to-Speech Device.

TWILIGHT, YOU SIMPLY MUST STOP READING THOSE DUSTY BOOKS. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU KILLED ANYTHING?

So, Twilight Sparkle was sent to serve the Safe Guard (pony equivalent to 40K's Deathwatch). Needless to say, she was extremely ~~disgruntled~~ pleased with this assignment. After meeting up with her squad, she learned that she had to protect the planet of Semper Liber. Upon arrival, she learned that heretics had kidnapped the Planetary Mayor, a plague was turning the grox (cattle with nasty dispositions) into zombie juggernauts, and three Chaos Space Marines were broadcasting mind control music over the airwaves.

After learning that she didn't have enough firepower to Exterminatus the planet, Twilight and her squad moved against the Chaos Space Marines. Analyzing their broadcasts, Rarity discovered that they could be weakened if their horde of brainwashed citizens were eliminated, and promptly did so, mowing them down while screaming about filthy heretics. After that, they fought the Chaos Marines directly and took them out, a feat complicated by Pinkie Pie refusing to stay in her armor.

Next, they inspected the Grox pens, where Fluttershy was moved by the plight of the beasts. On learning that the heretics had mystically linked the zombie plague to a "Patient Zero," a stableboy named Pipsqueak, she immediately administered the Empress' Peace, ending his life and the Plague.

Next, they learned that the Heretics were holding the Planetary Mayor in mining tunnels nearby. Pinkie Pie threw a gravitic bomb into the tunnels, eliminating all the heretics and the Planetary Mayor in one move.

By now, Twilight had gathered enough information to discover that the Chaos Worshipers were using a Xenos pylon outside the city to open a Warp Rift to bring Nightmare Moon back into the material world. They headed out to stop this, and had to fight a squad of Chaos Raptors, led by the feared berserker Lightning Dust. As Rainbow Dash dueled Lightning Dust, the Space Marines took out the other Raptors, mostly through Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight weakening them enough for Fluttershy to administer the Empress' Peace. Pinkie Pie used a tea party to convince one Raptor to renounce Chaos.

Reaching the Pylon, they found that Chaos Sorcerers had surrounded it with a powerful energy field. Ignoring the agonizing pain, Rainbow Dash pushed through the field and broke it. They now learned that their trials had made them embodiments of the Elements of the Imperium:

For killing some citizens to save others, Rarity was the Element of Sacrifice
For ending the pain of another, Fluttershy was the Element of Quietus
For destroying the heretics in the mine, Pinkie Pie was the Element of Inquisition
For bringing the Chaos Raptors down to earth, Applejack was the Element of Battle
For pushing through the energy field, Rainbow Dash was the Element of Zealotry

And the spark that brought them all together in the grim darkness of the far future was Twilight Sparkle, the Element of War

Using the Elements to Enter the Warp, they faced Nightmare Moon directly. They managed to weaken the Warmistress of Chaos with their attacks, especially Fluttershy who ripped out some of Nightmare Moon's organs with her apothecary tools. Finally, the dark primarch fell. As they watched, she changed into a small filly, the Warmistress Luna of old. Surrounding her, they put the filthy heretical traitor to death.

Returning to their ship, Twilight ordered the Inquisition to come and Exterminatus the planet, as it had at least four different chaos cults running rampant, and was obviously beyond saving.

I know, it looks awfully bleak on paper, but everyone had a fun time amping the grimdark up to 11 and playing the ponies as Warhammer versions of themselves. Besides Pinkie Pie's antics, there were fun bits where Twilight Sparkle produced a list of steps to cleanse the planet, or Rainbow Dash telling Rarity that her armor needed "20% more skulls." The fact that it was the last game slot of a two-day convention and everyone was running on fumes and caffeine probably had something to do with it, too.

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