Drake's Reviews #11 · 12:56am May 23rd, 2016
With my PC in the shop on a BSOD, I have been left with a lot of free time on my hands with no desktop to play or work on. So it's just me and my PS3. I have beheld the glories of Arkham City. I have beheld the terrors of Final Fantasy XIII-2. Now to see which these stories have waiting for me.
Trixie's Wings by JP Sanders.
There's a very basic idea with this fic - Trixie wants wings. Because she is Great and Powerful and of course she deserves them. Twilight gives her a pair of fake wings and deputizes her as an assistant Princess, but Trixie hates the paperwork and changes her mind.
Beyond that though, the fic stumbles quite a lot. Rarity and Applejack are here for an entirely pointless diversion where they argue with Twilight over who the most powerful beings in Equestria are, some of the dialogue is a bit stilted. Additionally, there are a few oddities that stick out to me. Narrations imply Trixie is a friend of the gang living in Ponyville hanging out with them regularly, but this predates No Second Prances so it isn't building off of that. However, the fic does not predate Season 6, or at least not the Season 5 finale, so where is Starlight Glimmer? There's also a reference to Rarity dating Prince Blueblood. Perhaps this was a sequel fic or AU and I just missed it?
Overall, the fic just isn't very funny or interesting overall; Trixie wants wings, Applejack and Rarity are here for some pointless banter, and Twilight gives Trixie fake wings that dissolve. That's it.
Recommendation: Even for Trixie fans, this fic does nothing for the idea of Trixcorn.
Game of Twilight by Gloria Beezus Rose
This is apparently chapter 1 of a multi-part fic, and involves a prologue where Twilight plays chess against Celestia. The fic will apparently be a Game of Thrones inspired story with power plays between Equestrian nobility.
At least, I think so. The fic is so technically awful it's hard to tell what's going on. Pretty much every technical error you could imagine is here, along with a heavy host of grammatical errors. The quality of the current lone chapter makes me wonder if the author even previewed their story before publishing it. The creative aspects also do little to compensate for the terrible technical aspects.
Recommendation: The fic is pretty much unreadable in its current state, which makes it easy to advise you not try.
Princess Trixie by Emperor
This fic goes in a place you aren't expecting, and I appreciate it for that. The fic basically exists to build up headcanon concerning Trixie and Prince Blueblood, and in an author's note it is said to be in response to various Trixie x Blueblood fics; something I didn't know was a thing.
Overall it's a bit dull reading at times, and IMHO is a bit too long for what it sets out to do, but once the twist is revealed it did hold my interest to see what it all meant.
Recommendation: A neat little piece of headcanon in a bit of a dry shy.
Dragon Lord Spike by Justice3442
You can guess from the title that this is an alt ending to Gauntlet of Fire. Spike gets the Bloodstone Scepter, and goes mad with power rather than just hand it over to Ember. Suddenly he has Rarity hanging off his arm, Garble is being beat up, and Twilight is trying to reason with him. And then Spike orders an invasion of Equestria because what else is he gonna do with an army of dragons? Also he gets a harem. It's dragon law apparently.
While there is definitely room for this premise to go the route of dark drama, this one plays it for comedy, and very well, too. The author has a great knack for dialogue and most everything Spike says, I can hear in his voice. Looking back I see the same author did "Cutie Mark Crusader Necromancers" and "Stealing the Deed." It shows in a good way. I laughed hard and often.
“Get rekt, scrub.”
- Dragon Lord Spike
AGREE WITH HIM!
Recommendation: A must-read by any measure of quality.
FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO GETS IT
Thanks for taking the time to read the fic, and review it. I greatly appreciate it. If you don't mind, could you PM me? I wanna talk about where you thought the fic went wrong and such. You know, besides me starting it at 4am after a sleepless school night
3964199 I think the best thing to improve it would be to cut the Rarity and Applejack stuff entirely, and expand the second part. Twilight deputizes Trixie as assistant princess to see if she's ready for the responsibility, and Trixie has to deal with the fact that being a Princess is mostly a desk job. Could even have Twi send her off to Luna and/or Celestia if you want to use them, too.
3964307
Thanks! Though, I will say it was meant to be a lot more light-hearted than I think the way you took it, but hey, as a reader it's up to your interpretation. It's just something I whipped up late for April Fools Day
. I understand you didn't find it funny, not everything is funny for people, and some things are only funny to me.
But my only two things I'd like to explain are:
1.) With the whole time thing, I get it that bugs some people, and as a writer, especially a fanfiction writer, I should take that into account, but for myself, it's something I don't think about. And, the reason I decided not to tack on an "Alternate Universe" tag is I was under the impression things had to be drastically different. I don't quite think the Mane 6 and Trixie being friends is all that major.
If you want an answer for the timing thing, you can just say Starlight Glimmer is at...literally anything else?
2.) The deputy thing was more of a joke, and if I recall correctly, she's "deputy for the day." I may recall that wrong, and if so, sue me. That's my bad for not knowing my own story. She's not supposed to be a pen pusher, it's just a little gag some enjoyed, some didn't.
All in all though, I really do appreicate your time, your read and especially your critique! It means a lot for you to give me advice, so I can apply it to the next time I write, and I'll be sure to keep your comments in mind. I hope I cleared up some of the story that may have been murky, and obviously i don't expect you to go favorite it now that I've given a bit of means, but I just felt it might help you understand where I'm coming from
Thanks! As I said, I really appreicate all of it, and I will be following some of your work in the future, because your writing has impressed me. God Bless! And Goodnight!