Read It Later Reviews #47 – A Lovely Apology; And Yet, What Riches Still Await; Otherworldly Advice; If I Gave You Diamonds and Pearls; True Bowmance · 11:08pm May 19th, 2016
Two days of reviews in a row? When was the last time that happened?
Today’s stories:
A Lovely Apology by PresentPerfect
And Yet, What Riches Still Await by PatchworkPoltergeist
Otherworldly Advice by Bookish Delight
If I Gave You Diamonds and Pearls by Estee
True Bowmance by Ceffyl Dwr
A Lovely Apology
by PresentPerfect
Comedy, Romance
6,802 wordsAfter she winds up inside the wrong cake, Spitfire needs to reclaim her honor as a Wonderbolt. What better way than by showing Ponyville's wealthiest resident -- and most eligible bachelor -- a night on the town? With maybe a little revenge on the side.
Why I added it: The Royal Guard queue.
Review
Spitfire climbs out of a cake at Princess Luna’s birthday.
Unfortunately, it isn’t Princess Luna’s birthday, but Diamond Tiara’s.
This is one of those sort of subdued stories. It is labelled a romantic comedy, but frankly, it felt very slice-of-lifey to me; not a whole lot really happens, the stakes are very low, and there’s no real conflict in the story, no real challenges to overcome. Spitfire goes out for the evening with Filthy Rich, a pony old enough to be her dad, as an apology for climbing out of Diamond Tiara’s birthday cake (something which Diamond Tiara herself set up in conjunction with Soarin, apparently to try and mess with Scootaloo/Spitfire respectively) and… they sort of plot to get some mini-revenge on Diamond Tiara. That’s about it. Not a whole lot happens here, and consequently, I wasn’t really left with a whole lot – Spitfire gets almost all of the characterization, and I really still don’t have a great grasp of her by the end of it.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
And Yet, What Riches Still Await
by PatchworkPoltergeist
Romance, Slice of Life
6,389 wordsSpoiled Rotten knows her best years are behind her. The time of flowers, whirlwind romances, and the luxury of rejecting suitors has passed. Now is the time for husbands and cradles, and she still has neither. With the clock ticking and a string of failed relationships trailing behind her, she fears it will stay that way.
So when one of the rare earth pony elite appears at a Canterlot party, despondent, alone, and (possibly) single, it’s an opportunity too good to pass up. And it’s been so long since Spoiled’s met a stallion she genuinely likes.
History says it won’t last. Common sense warns it won’t work. It’s a one-in-a-million chance, and luck’s never been on her side before. But Spoiled has to try. She can’t afford not to.
Why I added it: The Royal Guard queue.
Review
The story of how Spoiled Rotten met Filthy Rich, this is one of those stories that works to fill in a bit part and give them a lot more, well, character. And this does the job wonderfully.
Spoiled Rotten is middle-aged, still single, and can feel the clock running out – if it hasn’t already. She’s a bit desperate at this point, but she isn’t willing to settle for just anyone – just anyone reasonable.
Tonight, she notices that Filthy Rich, previously a vivacious, active stallion, is instead sitting by himself at the bar looking depressed. His wife is nowhere to be seen. And so, she decides to take a chance, and make a pass at him.
This story humanizes Spoiled Rotten, and even makes the reader feel sorry for her, even as it shows her to be not a very good pony. She is not bad to the bone – not all the way through – but she is also obviously a bit manipulative and greedy. But also genuinely lonely – she isn’t just going after Filthy Rich because of what he is, but also because of who he is, a genuinely nice guy.
It also fills in some stuff about Filthy Rich, and makes him a very likable character.
It is fun reading about the two hitting it off, even if we know that things aren’t going to turn out as perfectly as one might hope.
Really, I feel like this summary isn’t doing the story justice. This is very good; the story does a good job of setting up Spoiled Rotten’s character, showing her as being pushy, a bit needy, but also genuinely lonely and wanting for companionship. She’s got a lot to think about in terms of her class and standing, but she also genuinely likes Filthy, and we see Filthy being a genuinely affable – and real – person. The ambiance of it works well, and we can see the sort of quiet desperation along with longing and loneliness that underlies their flirting for the evening, with human concerns and a fun little discussion of their names that works well.
All in all, this is a neat little package, and well worth your time.
Recommendation: Recommended.
Otherworldly Advice
by Bookish Delight
Equestria Girls, Romance, Slice of Life
6,380 wordsTwo worlds. Two friendships.
However, sometimes it takes another Rainbow Dash to say what one can't.
Why I added it: I liked it a long time ago.
Review
Twilight is exhausted after her long day in the world beyond the mirror. All of her friends have gone to bed, but Rainbow Dash is insistent on finding out more about the other world, and about her other self. Twilight just wants to sleep, and so sends Rainbow Dash away.
But as she lies down in bed, she can’t keep some thoughts out of her head, about the Rainbow Dash in the other universe, and the things which she said in private which probably apply to Twilight’s own friend…
I read this story ages ago, and apparently there’s a rewritten version which I’ll have to get around to reading. The core of this story is a fairly decent idea: their near-duplicates across the mirror have a great deal of special insight into their counterpart due to their high degree of similarity.
Here, it is used for alternate universe Rainbow Dash to reveal to Twilight that, seeing as she sort of has a crush on Twilight after just a single day of knowing her, her pony equivalent probably does as well, and Twilight is left having to decide what she wants to do about it.
I liked this story, but I felt like it pushed too hard, too fast at the end, with Twilight’s behavior between the beginning and the end of the story feeling inconsistent – which is a big problem, given that the story is ultimately a shipfic. The emotional transition at the end felt too abrupt, and like it didn’t really have enough justification behind it.
Still, I can’t say that I didn’t find it entertaining.
Recommendation: Worth Reading if the idea interests you.
If I Gave You Diamonds and Pearls
by Estee
Sad
4,075 wordsSomepony Rarity never met just died. She never had a chance to see him or truly learn anything about him. And yet she mourns -- while trying to figure out why she's mourning at all.
And if it's even deserved.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer.
Review
Rarity is upset because a musician she loved died, but not just died physically, but also died in the sense of his public persona crumbling after his death, with all his secrets – including his secret bigotry – revealed. She loves his music, but she doesn’t know what to think. Should she be sad that he is dead, knowing what sort of pony he really was? Should she even be mourning, given she never knew him as a person?
This is a pretty good story which captures a fan feeling betrayed by someone that they had previously respected turning out not to be a very good person, along with their reaction to their death – and the pain a friend was going through as a result. It is all a little bit complicated, but complicated in a good way, as it gradually unfolds and we come to see just why Rarity’s emotions are so mixed. There is a great deal of richness in the emotional texture here, and the fact that she isn’t feeling just one way, but many ways, all at once, makes it an interesting piece to read.
If I had a complaint, it is that, like many of Estee’s pieces, it does feel like it meanders a bit at times, and some of the rich detail inserted into the story feels extraneous to it. There are stray bits sticking out all over the place, and while this is common to Estee stories, it made the story feel kind of bulky and unfocused at times.
Still, I liked it on the whole.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
True Bowmance
by Ceffyl Dwr
Comedy, Drama, Slice of Life
10.049 wordsComing from a proud family celebrated for their ability at helping ponies fall in love, Archer wants nothing more than to be able to carry on the Cupid tradition. What helps is that her mother is one of the most successful Cupids to ever walk Equestria.
What helps less is that Archer is possibly the worst.
But that's not going to stop her from trying.
Why I added it: Present Perfect recommended it.
Review
Archer is a member of the Cupid family.
There’s just one problem – she’s really bad at her job. Every time she tries to get ponies together, it goes wrong. And, to just rub it in the poor filly’s face, her classmates end up with the wrong ponies afterwards.
And now they’re all scared of her. Who would have thought the odd stab with an arrow or poisonous “love potion” would upset them?
But at least she can still hang out with Pinkie Pie at the bakery…
This is a cute story, but in the end it also doesn’t quite feel like it went very far. Still, it is amusing; Archer’s inept attempts at getting ponies together, combined with her determination to be a good cupid, is kind of fun to read about, even if ultimately the story is rather lightweight. Her discussions with Pinkie Pie are decent, and her observations about her mother’s behavior are amusing.
My greatest struggle with this is that it clocks in at over 9,000 words, but it doesn’t feel like a whole lot happened; the reward for reading it doesn’t feel proportionate to the length, and I’ve read stories half its length that felt like they had more content. I never really ended up buying all that much into the main character as a person; they just never really clicked with me emotionally, and always felt a little bit by-the-numbers, without a really clear voice.
I also have to admit that this story made me think back to Bookplayer’s statement about how to write girls, and girls who are written like guys; I kept forgetting that Archer was a girl while reading this piece. It wasn’t a huge deal for me, and it didn’t really matter… but it still felt a little odd for me to realize that I kept drifting in terms of identifying the protagonist’s gender and voice and appearance.
In the end, while I can’t say that I didn’t like it, it is hard for me to really feel enthusiastic about it, either. It just didn’t feel very memorable to me, and honestly felt a bit like a story I’d read before, even though I don’t think I’ve ever read about a young Cupid trying to get people together.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Summary
A Lovely Apology by PresentPerfect
Not Recommended
And Yet, What Riches Still Await by PatchworkPoltergeist
Recommended
Otherworldly Advice by Bookish Delight
Worth Reading
If I Gave You Diamonds and Pearls by Estee
Worth Reading
True Bowmance by Ceffyl Dwr
Not Recommended
And there we go! I’m just about done with prepping for next week, which means I think I’m going to spend the rest of this evening trying to get some pony writing done.
Until then, I hope you all find something worth reading.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 134
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 455
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1930
Hi
Other than the last sentence of your review, I accomplished what I set out to with that story. :V
3957087
Howdy!
Are you Filthy Rich? Because we're spoiled rotten by two days in a row of reviews!
3958036
I actually have 3 of 5 reviews for the next set done at this point as well.
Is this a thing you have a link on hand for? Now I'm curious. (I'm sure I could find it via searching books' blog, but other readers here might be curious too.)
3959632
It was a comment on my blog post during Everfree Northwest, responding to "Women are people, just write them like people." and someone commenting about it being unhelpful:
Thanks for the review! I feel it's totally fair, especially since I wrote OW on a three-night caffeine bender. Ahh, the days when I would write at lightning speed and give no fucks.
But yes, the things you outlined are a big reason why I did a reboot of the concept (wherein I got to address those mistakes, and then got to make all new ones!).
Curious to see how it treats you when you get to it in comparison to this one.
Until next!
Link to BOokplayer's statement? I'm curious...and can't sleep.
4005081
It is down here:
3959835
4005758
...Nice one. It's helpful if you compare the advice to different things. LIke, say..."How do I write a Muslim." "Just write them like people." *Person proceeds to have the Muslim enjoy some bacon.* It's a problem I have, since I'm writing an American-Raised Muslim character....who is female. So...two subcultures.
Re: True Bowmance:
Do you find yourself disagreeing with the Royal Canterlot Library often?
4046344
Yes. Over time, I think the RCL's average story quality has slipped somewhat; almost all the stories they recommended way back in the day were very good, while I feel like their more recent additions have been more hit and miss.
The reason for this, I think, is because at the start they had a huge list of people who were talented authors from the very beginning of the fandom, so they had a big backlog of good stuff right off the bat. Now, they have to pick and choose from stories as they come out, as they don't re-feature authors (the only one who has been re-featured is Ghost of Heraclitus, which means that every stand-alone story of his has been featured by the Pony Fiction Vault or the RCL).
That said, they also have different tastes than I do, and lean more towards Slice of Life (and away from shipping) than I do.
4046811 Good point about not reusing authors. Well, when my "story specifically written not to suck" gets far enough along to start showing people I do plan on asking if I could have the honor of you being one of the prereaders, given your... diserning eye. Because I want this story to be my magnum opus. (me being me, it will still probably be less than 20k words). I want a story in the royal canterlot library. (and the royal guard. :P )