• Member Since 10th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen April 3rd

Davesknd


I am a humorist. I write funny stuff... I hope. Since my pony-name appears to be Dusk Dash (there is a chart), I have decided to dedicate my life to quick and evil science!

More Blog Posts73

  • 160 weeks
    Tails of Equestria - They finally made one!

    As my dear "readers" (or rather waiters,,, sorry, I am working on stuff, I promise) may have noticed, I like RPGs. I even wrote an entire chapter as an RPG, for goodness sake! Now, the good people at "River Horse" (love the name already) managed to talk Hasbro into making an official MLP RPG called "Tails of Equestria".
    I got the book today and I just finished it... here are my thoughts:

    Read More

    6 comments · 347 views
  • 175 weeks
    Let's talk about Zelda *BotW Spoilers*

    So... you might have noticed that I have been a tad quiet lately. Well, work is an inverse b'tch as it pays me to get screwed over and over again.
    Jokes aside, I want to vent a little and I thought the best way to do that is to write about something that I love: Zelda

    Read More

    0 comments · 266 views
  • 202 weeks
    RPGs You Should Try

    Recently one of my friends and me got into a bit of a quarrel about the state of modern RPGs. While he thinks that RPGs are at their lowest with D&D 5, the new 7th Sea being disappointing and FF games losing Warhammer, I personally think that we are in an golden age of Roleplaying with sites like DriveThruRPG and the like allowing us to find games that would have never seen publishing alone.

    Read More

    7 comments · 395 views
  • 206 weeks
    WORST EPISODE EVER!!!

    Seriously? 11 Int for a "Turn into root vegetable" spell?
    That's heavy transmogrify and at least level 5 in 3.5 and maybe 4 in Pathfinder. That needs a 15 or 14 Int! Even more if untrained!
    And Captain Wuss should get a save!
    GOD!
    0 out of 5 stars
    No points
    Terrible episode!

    (PS: Can someone please recommend a decent neurosurgeon? I need someone to get these writers out of my head!!!)

    1 comments · 252 views
  • 210 weeks
    OH GOD!

    They made a pony version of ME!
    It finally happened! They just forgot the glasses... GET OUT OF MY HEADS, WRITERS! AND WHERE CAN I GET A BONDAGE BODY PILLOW LIKE THAT?

    1 comments · 250 views
May
19th
2016

I am thy Deadpool · 12:36pm May 19th, 2016

So... today I had surgery.
What was wrong? After adjusting my toenail and removing quite a bit of overgrowing flesh, my doctor decided to cut the crap and just get rid of the stuff. Now, she injected me with the stuff that makes you numb and after waiting for 30 minutes, we begin. Turns out that I wasn't numb anymore. Luckily, my surgeon is a smart woman and we adjusted the dose, so it wouldn't hurt. Even though we began at a dose that should have kept me numb for 3 hours. And the second batch is wearing off right now. Half an hour after we finish.
Apparently my body is capable of metabolizing drugs at an insane rate.
So not only does my body heal at like 1,5 of the human average, I also break down drugs like they are candy.
What does that mean for you?
Simple: For 300,000 Euro, you can have the Dave-Master-Race-Creation-Kit (working title).
It includes a sample of my superior DNA, one of those tubes you use to but the juices on turkeys and a contract that absolves me of any child-support.
A simple set that allows even YOU (yes you) to add some value to the gene-pool.
(Batteries not included, DNA may contain depression, bad eyes, bad teeth, overall unattractiveness and inability to shut up or not make tasteless jokes)

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Comments ( 3 )

Dave Master Race vs PC Master Race who would win???

3957935 Probably Linux

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