• Member Since 5th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Saturday

LyraAlluse


I am a professional writer, artist, musician, website builder, and app developer. I have a Tip Jar for those who might be interested.

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May
11th
2016

Feeling A Bit Depressed · 1:12pm May 11th, 2016

Today I feel depressed. My mom and I can't find any help for our situation. I'm not sure what we are going to do at this point. I feel bad about being sad. But I can't change the way I feel about things. I wish we had a way out. But we don't. So I guess that is that.

It feels like every time I just try to get ahead with my writing, art, music, and other creative projects, stuff like this happens. I always thought I would be further ahead in my life than I am now. I mean I have played in many bands, had songs produced, I've been published, have been making a decent living off of my art and crafts. Then this whole situation had to happen. And it is like I've been set back in my life goals again.

Every time I get ahead with my creative stuff I have to deal with my family member coming after my mom and I and putting us in a financially tough spot. It is like no matter how hard I try the move ahead with my goals, I never can. And it is frustrating.

It is kind of like being a hamster in a wheel. No matter how much you run you can never get anywhere. Because this family member has been after us for six years, we continue to run in a wheel, never being able to accomplish our goals.

I always thought I could achieve my dreams of being a well known writer, artist, and musician. I always worked hard to achieve those goals despite what life tried to throw at me. And even now, despite the fact that we might not have a home next month, I still want to work hard to make all of these dreams a reality.

But today I just feel really sad and a bit defeated. So I am going to take some time to myself to just sit somewhere and let all of my tears out. Sometimes that is all you can do.

In any case thank you to everyone who follows me and choses to be my friend despite all of the hard times I am going through. It means a lot to me.

Comments ( 94 )

I'm sorry that this has happened to you :fluttershysad:

Sweet Celelstia thats terrible. :fluttershbad:

3937335 It is okay. I am trying to look on the positive side but today I am just feeling a bit depressed. Thank you for being there for me anyway. :)

*shakes head* i nvr understand why your family member has to come after you 2, its like the family member sole purpose on life is to make you 2 as miserable as possible

I know things will get better and when it does Ill be their to ask for money :twilightsheepish:

Just remember sis, you have my number and can message me if you need me, I will always stand by you.

3937345 Yeah, it has just been a really tough situation my mom and I have been dealing with for six years now. And everything has kind of snowballed into where we are now since the family member decided to take a payment that was helping us every month. So now we are just desperately trying to find a way to pay all of our bills, get out of the debt caused by the constant attacks of this family member, and somehow afford the rent that is due next month. So it has been stressful.

3937356 *hugs* I'm glad you're trying to be positive :heart:

3937357 I think it is because we know the truth about how he treated us in that abusive household and have evidence of him stalking and threatening our lives. He wants us to look like the bad guys by always coming after us financially so it seems like we are irresponsible with money and all of the other stuff he accused us of being which got our family members to take his side.

It's frustrating and unfair but it is just something we have dealt with for six years. And we both try to press forward despite what is thrown at us.

3937359 Thank you for the encouraging words. They mean a lot. I would definitely help you if I could. I did share your fundraiser in all of my Facebook groups and my main Facebook page. So I hope that it helps. :)

Then grieve in full mate. To be honest, I think the best thing to do is to stop running. To end such a thing and to just find a good place to stay as a home. Though your step dad might be able to come after you, he wont be able to hurt you unless he's gonna get physical. And if such a thing happens, then you have a legit case against him. You would be set, especially if you have a hidden camera or recorder for when that time comes. He couldn't hurt you no more, all you have to do is leave him, even though he might not leave you, leaving him would mean no more worry, and no more pain.

So, personally, I would just find a good place to settle down, start working on my emotional problems, and start getting some money set up.

3937371 Thank you sister. Many hugs to you as well. I am glad that we can be good friends and adopted family members. You are an awesome person. And I am glad that I was able to meet you here on this site. :)

3937403 *smiles* Well, you are my adopted sister and I do love you as a sister too.

3937374 I am doing my best to not let it effect me too much. It is kind of hard when I see my mom crying every day, not knowing how we are going to pay the bills. And having to go to food banks every month because we can't afford to buy food. But I am doing my best to look on the positive side despite everything we are going through.

3937403 ok i understand and if you want you can consider me your big/small brother tepending of how old you are :pinkiesad2:

3937375 Thank you very much. Your kind words mean a lot to me and are very much appreciated.

PM me as soon as you can. :twilightsmile:

3937413 I wish I could help :heart::fluttershysad:

3937402 We we trying to save up to by a home (since my step dad took our other one) before my mom's accident happened. It is a goal for us to buy a home, get out of debt, and just be able to live normal and healthy lives. It has been our goal for six years. But things keep happening that prevent us from buying a home. And we just getting more and more in debt each time we have to deal with my step dad. So it can be frustrating. And make us feel like no matter how hard we try to get ahead and just live normal lives, we never can.

3937408 I am happy to hear that. Many hugs to you my sister.

3937415 I certainly consider you my brother and am happy to have you as an adopted family member. Thank you so much for all of your kind words and support. They mean a lot to me.

3937424 Okay will do. :)

3937433 Just being my friend means a lot to me. :) Thank you for being my friend despite everything I am going through.

3937445 I'll always be your friend:scootangel:

3937448 You are quite welcome. :)

3937451 I will always be your friend as well. :)

3937457 i only wish that i can more to help you and your mother in both of your situation

3937457 by the way have you read the stories i recomended to you?

3937470 Just send lots of positive energy and prayers our way. That will help more than anything. :) I haven't had a chance to read the stories yet but they are on my list of things to read. :)

3937500 cool i hope they can cheer you up *hugs you*

3937497 I would feel bad for him if something were to happen. I'm personally not mad or upset at him as an individual. I sometimes can't understand the things he does. Or the actions he takes against my mom and I. But at the end of the day be is still a human being. And he has the right to live a full and happy life like everyone else.

Sometimes I think, I don't mind that I am being treated like this by him. If attacking my mom and I makes him feel better in some way, I am more than happy to be a sacrifice. At least he is able to live a good life, even if my mom and I can't.

3937502 I am sure that they will. :) Thank you for recommending them.

Whatever you do, don't give up.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in Gods world by mistake- everything that's going on is happening for a reason.

This experience is here to strengthen you, not pull you down.

Remember: this too shall pass

3937435 Then I really don't know how to help you. You just have to keep on trying I suppose.

3937588 You are right. I believe my mom and I have gone through this whole jourmey to help other people who have gone through difficult seasons in their lives as well. I definitely have a lot of compassion for anyone going through a similar situation. And want to work to help people going through difficult times in their own lives the best that I can for the rest of my life. Even if it would just offering them support, kindness, and friendship. :)

3937616 I just can't bring myself to be angry towards him or anything. I have forgiven him for everything he has done. And I can have compassion for why he is doing it in some way.

One thing I wish is that he would learn how to love. It isn't easy to live your life with hate and anger in your heart. The result is that you just end up hurting the people around you. So I just hope that one say he can let love into his heart so he will stop causing harm for the people in his life.

3937626 Yep. Sometimes all you can do is just keep moving forward, despite what life throws at you. And we are definitely doing our best to move forward despite the constant attack we have been under for six years. :)

3937373 I hope everything gets better. :pinkiesad2:

(Hugs tight and kisses your cheek)

There is nothing wrong with being sad. At all. You know we'll be here for you.

I hope this helps.

*hugs* Sorry to hear that things are getting worse for the two of you, I would suggest that the both of you scrounge up what money you can and move out of state. Somewhere beyond where he can reach. But I don't know of many places you could go.

I wonder if an ombudsman could help. Often there is relief, but you have to get through rules and reg.s to find the way - it's the duty of a ombudsman to do that for you. I don't know about your location, but in New York State the head ombudsman is the Lieutenant Governor and you contact that office for help. Do a search - there may be a government advocate who can help you. Perhaps all they do is put you in touch with the right government agency or charitable group who can help you, or they send you forms for the grant you need but don't know about. What you need is a super hero like Bob Parr who can help you "penetrate the bureaucracy." Search. There may be a Mr. Incredible out there waiting to help you/

Isn't there any way to get this guy arrested? There has to be a way to get him off of you for good.

3937805 Thank you so much for the kind words. My mom and I are both holding out hope that things will get better soon.

3937883 Thank you for the hugs and kisses. And thank you for being there for me. It means a lot. :)

3937912 We've actually been thinking the same thing. We would like to move to California since that is where we are both originally from. But we don't have the resources to do so at the moment. It is a long-term goal for us though. We would like to find a house somewhere by the beach that we could rent to own.

3938170 No problem at all. Even though we are not tangible beings in your life, we got your back. :twilightsmile:

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