Epilogue: Happy News And Some Answers · 10:22am May 8th, 2016
Hello!
If you're reading this, then that means you withstood the destruction of Eventide 1.0, and my farewell post, and you still don't hate me. Or at least, not enough that you don't want to hear what I have to say now, after all has been said and done.
I got 37 comments to my final post. I read them all. All kinds of answers -- ranging from insults to really warm messages of support. I want to say thank you, from the very bottom of my heart, to all those people who were kind and accepting, even if they could not quite see there's method to my madness.
Now, the reason you even bothered to click on this blog post: it's not all bad news.
A recurring concern I read in comments was people's heartbreak at not being able to find out how the story ends. Well... now I might not be able to provide you with the Twibra you guys wanted to read. BUT...
Even now that I've overcome my attachment to fanfic, Eventide is still a story that I want to tell. So I will tell it.
The difference is, I'll publish it legitimately as original fiction now. I will transform the story into something even better than what it used to be. Once I've had a little time to put my stuff together, I'll be posting the story serially, one chapter at a time, as a graphic novel (of sorts) on DA, where people may enjoy it for free.
Now. Answers. Some of you posed various questions and challenges I'd like to respond to, mainly on the subject of religion. Those who aren't interested in this topic may now browse away in peace. 
Bai bai!
All right, then, fellow overthinkers. Here's a little FAQ I've put together for your benefit. But, first of all, please remember that I'm not your enemy. I don't mean to spark a flame war or an angry religion debate or anything like that. I'm just trying to answer your questions in a clear but friendly tone.
Enjoy! ...Or not.
"You actually do sound like a Jedi. Attachment is a good thing; it helps us get through life and stuff."
Let's be clear on our terms.
An attachment is an emotional dependence on someone or something.
Love is a deep fondness you feel for another person, which comes accompanied with the desire for them to be well and happy.
Love is not the same as attachment. I love my parents very dearly, but I don't think I should be too attached to them. I just can't let my happiness depend on their presence in my life.
Right now, I'm lucky enough that I can actually see them every day. I accept that gift gratefully, and I'll enjoy it to the fullest as long as I have it.
But one day, my mother and father will be taken away from me. When that happens, I'll grieve a while, but eventually I must let them go and be at peace.
Same principle applies to inanimate and abstract objects. There are good things in life, yes, and we should enjoy them with gratitude while they're there. And pursue our projects with love and passion. But we should also be able to let go of them when life simply takes them away, or when the Spirit calls us to do it.
Loving people and things is fine. But it's very important that, at some point in life, everybody learns to simply let go.
"If you think attachment is bad, why are you so attached to religion? Hah! Touché!"
Attachment is the emotional dependence one has on things that are temporary and contingent. That is: things that inevitably have an end. Objects, projects, relationships, people. Further, an attachment can only be developed toward things that you can actually do without.
But God is not temporary. Objects, projects, relationships, and people... it'll all be gone someday. But God is permanent. He is the only entity that exists in itself. And He is the supreme good in the universe and beyond. You simply can't do without him. The greatest human folly is trying to be independent from God, simply because it is impossible. We must seek God, and love him with all our strength. This isn't attachment; it is simply responding to His call.
"You know, the stuff you posted was truly cringe-worthy. How embarrassing."
In posting that last chapter, I set out not only to explain my reasons -- but also, to help others on their own spiritual path. Because ultimately, that path is the only thing that matters in this life. Mkay, so some people cringed. Some stopped reading halfway through. But if just one person took something valuable out of all the stuff I said, then there's my reward for all the effort I invested in typing that up.
And if I've made errors, I'll just learn from them and be able to teach others more effectively in the future. So, win-win.
I'm aware that I've committed a kind of social suicide by breaking like 3 - 4 taboos in one fell swoop. Many people are ashamed of me now. So what? What do I care for social approval? What others think of me honestly doesn't matter to me. My only care is whether God is happy with the things I say and do.
"You're just hiding behind religious BS, because you won't explain outright why you want to quit."
Well, I've been falsely accused of things a few times in my life. Every time, it's been an angry atheist who makes these claims, lol. Seriously, why can't you guys be just a little bit more charitable? Why assume the worst of someone who's just trying to express their own experience of life?
You haven't heard me utter a single word of disrespect toward you. So why do you attack me?
I can only say that I've been telling the truth all along. Whether you believe me, or you don't, it's up to you.
I'm not hiding. I'm showing my face for all the world to spit at me, if that means a few people will turn to God as a result.
I'm not a fanatic. I just care about other humans. And I want them to find the happiness I have found.
And I'm not some paragon of virtue, as someone put it. I'm just a person who loves God, and who is striving, with all her strength, to be the best human being she can possibly be.
"Atheists are not evil, dude."
Um... no. No, they aren't. I'm glad we agree on that point.
At least... being an atheist doesn't make a person evil by definition. Being evil or good is something everyone decides on their own.
There are atheist activists doing lots of good in the world. There are Satanists who believe in God more firmly than I do -- and they spit on his name while killing innocent people in cold blood.
At the same time, there are people of faith who have given their lives helping those in need. And there are the militant atheists who were responsible for the killing of countless Christians, back when atheist communism was in full swing.
"Religion is a social evil."
Nonsense. Religion is the only thing preventing this world from falling to pieces.
The real social evils here are human selfishness and cruelty. Those are the true reasons our world is so messed up.
People of faith have fallen prey to those throughout history. So have non-believers.
"Religious people bring conflict wherever they go," someone said. "Religion causes trouble in friendships, families, and everywhere." I won't argue with you there. But is conflict necessarily a bad thing? Conflict is the only thing that has ever brought about social change.
Not discussing and disagreeing over important issues is a false, toxic, politically correct sort of peace. And others may uphold that peace if they like: don't make ripples, don't rock the boat. Meanwhile, I'll be loud and rowdy and spark revolutions in people's hearts and in message boards and wherever God wants to take me.
"It's silly-slash-immature that you believe in God. I hope someday you might see the light."
It's silly-slash-immature that you don't believe in God. ;p I hope someday you might see the light.
Okay, in all seriousness: I respect atheists. Really, I do. All atheists start their philosophical careers as truth-seekers. No one decides to risk their eternal fate just for the giggles; atheists reject God because they have thought a lot about him -- and this, because they care. They usually fall away from religion because at some point in life, they had questions. And the answers they found motivated them to abandon ship.
The trouble is when atheists stop being truth-seekers. That is, when you guys take the answers you've found and run away with them, accepting them as The Undeniable, Immutable Truth of Things without further inquiry. But, friends, let me ask you something: If you're so proud of your critical thinking skills, why are you not open to contemplating the possibility that you might be wrong?
You're entitled to turn that question around on me. But why would you want to do that? That's just a defensive-evasive maneuver. I'll be happy to provide you with my own answers, if you'd like to hear them -- but only once you have seriously contemplated the challenge I have posed, in relation to your own stance.
Meanwhile, I leave you with this: it's absolutely possible to think very deeply and seriously about life, and about God, and about religion, and still be Christian.
When I become a saint, and people put little figurines of me in homes and churches in a deliberate act to scandalize my Protestant brothers and sisters in Christ, I hope the world remembers this one quote of mine, and that it spreads like wildfire: "People don't abandon God because they know too much; but, rather, because they know too little."
There you go. That was all I wanted to say.
Now I have a favor to ask you. Please don't comment on this post unless you really want to say something to me. Pretty please with a cherry on top, lol. I don't want to grapple with 4 - 5 people arguing with me at the same time, and really -- for now I think I've dealt with enough aggression to last me a lifetime.
Thank you, everyone. Be well. I love you.
--November
So where can we find the story?
This has been a confusing experience. First you post the story, then you canceled it, and now you're reviving it on deviant art. I'm just having a hard time understanding your reasoning. I'v read your posts and I'm still not sure why you just can't stay on this site. How am I going to know when it updates on DA.
3929893
Hello, my dear friend.
Crises are confusing times in life lol. It's inevitable, I guess. :) I'm sorry, though. I'm a confusing, complicated person. So that's part of it too.
I can't just stay on this site because I needed to overcome my tremendous attachment to fanfic, in order to further my spiritual advancement. ^_^
So all that is left for me, from here onwards, is to write original fiction. Which I can't do here. It's against FIMfic's rules. So that's why. :3
If you contact me on DA, though, I can let you know when I've begun publishing the thing. :D My username over there is, as I noted on my farewell chapter, NovemberBell. Then, once you've read chapter 1, if you like what you see you can just put me on your watch list and it'll notify you whenever I post something. ^_^
I want to thank you in particular for the kindness and patience you've had toward me, from the start. I know it must take some effort. So all the more reason I'm grateful that you try.
3929423
Send me a hug on DeviantArt. ^_^ Username is NovemberBell. Or you can just Watch me, but if you want to skip on all the non-Eventide postings, just say hi so I know who you are, and I'll notify you when I've started posting Eventide 2.0.
3931912
I don't mean to be rude or anything so don't take this the wrong way but do you really believe that god will penalize you for loving a couple things worldly. We're not in the dark ages where it all about god 24/7, but It's not my place to tell you how to live your life. When do you think Eventide will be posted on DA. Also what do you mean by original fiction? Are saying there won't be pony characters in the new Eventide.
3932652
Yo!
It's not quite about God penalizing me for loving some worldly stuff. Um... basically it's more about me striving to let go of worldly stuff as a gift for Him.
Oh, trust me, letting go of Eventide was not easy. But the harder a victory is to achieve, the more meaningful it is. And the greater your reward! At least that's how it works in the spiritual life. :) So in the end, while I am still grieving, I know that what I've done is worth it.
By original fiction, I mean 100% original. Like, all of it being intellectual property of November Bell. I wouldn't be mooching off Hasbro's material anymore. So, the essence of the story survives. But the world is completely different, and the characters change somewhat.
It's still a fantasy setting. It's definitely pony-inspired, because this is a fantasy world where there are no humans -- but, rather, a whole range of sentient animals, both real and mythological. But still, all of it created by me.
When will it be posted? Hmm. It depends on whether I can find a visual artist to work with me. If so... very soon. A couple weeks from now. If not... then I'll have to master digital art myself, so I can draw the thing as well as write it. So that may take a couple months.
Well this was a lot of info to take in, but that's what I get for not checking on here for a while. Anyway enough of me being off track just wanted to say I'm still looking absolutely forward to your future work with the same enthusiasm I had when I first found your writings.