Beltane: The Pieces of a Puzzle and What Roots We Grow

On or around 1st May in the northern hemisphere and 1st November in the southern, Beltane represents the beginning of Summer or the height of Spring. It is thought that the ancients only recognised two seasons, these being Summer and Winter.

I decided to celebrate Beltane a little early this year. Last night, I made May Wine, a combination of Pinot Grigio and strawberries. Rather than add dried baby's breath, I decided to add chamomile to it. Due to the fact that my doctor suggested I cut down on alcohol due to the pericarditis, I still enjoyed the flavor; it's funny how such a delicate flower can alter a flavor so much, changing a sweet, fruity wine into a crisp, almost grainy flavor. Tomato tarts and fresh meatballs made for an interesting choice to represent fertility and rebirth.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm doing this investigation into my ancestry correctly or not. I've discovered the Celtic parts of both my mother and father's side of the family--my mother's side coming from the Irish Devine, and my father's side from the Welsh Graves. It is interesting, wondering if these little pieces of NeoDruidism actually capture some parts of what their lives could have been.

We are each a tree, and the leaves, leaves, and fruits are what we can give to the world. But what tree bears life if it has no roots?

Beltane is the time when the Earth is literally buzzing with fertility. Life springs forth in all of its richness, and the land is covered with beautiful flowers; the freshly opened leaves of the trees are a quality of green that they only show at this time of year.

The doctor says I'm not really supposed to walk for long distances anymore. (The simple act of getting up in the morning, moving from a reclining position to a standing position, increase my heartbeat from eighty beats per minute to around one-hundred twenty, which rarely goes down until I am sitting in my car and fifteen minutes in my commute.)

I have, for the most part, listened to my doctor's advice. Today, however, I decided to make an exception, and so I got up, put on my headphones, and simply started walking. It is interesting to imagine whether this so-called 'Druidic magic' exists at all or not. To feel the wind on your skin and wonder if it is some message that speaks universally to all if only we can silence our hearts to listen.

After a mile, I could feel my heart beating from my chest and my back. But I had made it to an oak tree. It wasn't quite at the level of 'Grand Oak Tree' yet. The Spanish Moss hanging from the branches made it look as though its foliage had been painted on and by an artist who decided it wasn't good enough, and so threw a splash of water on it to melt away his mistake.

I stood there for a good few minutes. Another gust of wind blew past, and the moss touched my arm. I closed my eyes. How wonderful it would be if these imaginings were true. To be able to speak the way the Druids used to do.

At Beltane the Lady of the Land takes the hand of the Horned God. Some celebrate Beltane on the dates given above, whilst others look to the flowers of the May tree as their signal that Beltane has, at last, arrived.

When i opened my eyes, I was on the ground. I was lucky for two reasons: one, I had fallen in the grass and not the sidewalk, and two, I am pretty sure I was out for only a few moments. This was good because I had to get home to go to dinner with Dreamingnoctis and ZOMG.

Integration of the male and female aspects of the Self has long been seen as one of the prime goals of spiritual and psychotherapeutic work, and Beltane represents the time when we can open to this work fully, allowing the natural union of polarities that occurs in nature at this time the opportunity to help us in our work - a work that is essentially alchemical.

"I'm really liking how this story is coming out," ZOMG said as he cut a tiny slice of his limoncello cake. "Take a cliche and make it new, throw in cuteness, and add a little bit of feels." ZOMG nodded to himself as he took a bite of the dessert. "Sort of my signature, you know?"

"I can tell." I smile and take a sip of iced tea. "People like you. They like what you write."

"I just have fun with it," he replied.

"I definitely need to work on my tumblr and patreon more," Dreamingnoctis added. "I want to be able to support myself through my graphic design and artwork."

"I'm sure you'll be able to," I replied.

Nurturing growth
Father Sun shines brightly
Warming mother Earth
Joining in creation

As we leave the restaurant, a gust of wind passes by.

"Do you guys think I should just convert the Rumble story into an actual novel?" I asked the two. "You know, like the novel I'm editing?"

"I can see it being an actual story if you make just a few changes, actually," ZOMG replied, stopping to bend over and tie his shoelace.

"Why do you want to change it?" Dreamingnoctis asked.

"I dunno," I reply as I turn away. "I mean, I know the story has the pieces to be great--Everyone loves Rumble, everyone loves adventure, everyone loves the idea of worldbuilding. It has a growth arc for all of the main characters."

"Just write what makes you happy, man," ZOMG said.

We stood there for a moment in the parking lot of the restaurant for a moment before saying our goodbyes. As Dreamingnoctis and I made our way towards the car, I stopped as a gust of wind touched my face.

"Dreamy," I asked. "Am I a jealous person?"

Dreamingnoctis freezes in place for a moment, the key in his hand stopped just as it entered the keyhole.

"Not jealous," he replied. "You don't actively look to put people down. Maybe envious is the right word."

We get into the car and drive towards home. Am I an envious person?, I wonder.

You know you are.

There's the voice again. The voice that echoes in your head any time you wonder whether or not you are a good person. It's the voice that causes even your heart to fall silent as you list every bad thing you have ever done that falls into the category of envy.

I try to calm down by convincing myself that it's not that I want to tear the other person down. It's the idea that I am missing something which makes my idea wrong. The fact that I can't see what I'm missing only makes things more difficult.

Sometimes, I feel that looking at artistic endeavors is a bit like working with a puzzle whose image you cannot see, and whose number of pieces changes from moment to moment. You have an idea of what the image could be and what pieces go where, but you don't know whether or not you will have pieces missing. Sometimes, you put the entire puzzle together face down, only to flip it over and see that the other side is missing the image as well.

I think the main thing that I have learned this Beltane is that even using the analogy of a tree, we are constantly sprouting new roots. Those roots can come from our ancestors, taking generations to sprout fruit. Those roots can grow from our own actions and emotions, each one a little tendril snaking beneath the surface. If I let good roots grow, the fruit I bear will be beautiful. If I allow bad roots to take hold, however, then everything I offer will be poisoned.

Maybe I'm getting better at this. Maybe I'm not. Fortunately, I am not the first person to have these feeling, nor will I be the last. Either way, the story may be up soon, and we will see whether this imaginary puzzle I have put together will contain a picture.

Best of luck for now,
Lovecolt