Iron Will to bring Torch to Equestria · 5:28pm Apr 29th, 2016
From the Manehattan Times
It has been confirmed that the dragon ex-ruler Lord Torch will be visiting Equestria later this year. Relations with the Dragon Lands have opened up following the recent change in administration. Although Lord Torch had previously no interest in visiting the pony kingdom, sources close to the former dragon lord say that he changed his position upon learning how much a former Head of State could earn on the international lecture circuit. He is expected to net at least 250,000 bits from a lecture tour run by his agent, the seminar organizer and inspirational speaker, Iron Will. The High Octane Leadership lecture series will include stops at Manehattan, Fillydelphia and Canterlot.
The minotaur explained that organizing the tour has been complicated. “Iron Will had to raise the walls of the venue buildings to accommodate such a high profile speaker,” he said. “Lord Torch has asked for enhanced security arrangements and Iron Will had to deal with concerns about fire safety.”
Tickets are expected to sell out for all his speaking engagements given the high level of interest in dragon affairs following recent journal articles by Princess Twilight Sparkle. There was additional excitement yesterday following rumors that his talks would be attended by former supermodel and Equestrian ambassador Fluttershy. However Iron Will had to deny this. “Fluttershy is an inspiration. She would have been the ideal pony to introduce Lord Torch given her past experience with dragons. Iron Will offered her an up-front fee of twenty thousand bits to chair the How to Get Your Way in Business Negotiations discussion seminar with Lord Torch,” he told our reporter. “But she said no.”
Did anyone else think this was going to be Olympics-related based on the title, or was that just me?
In any case, this definitely seems like an ideal post-lordship career for Torch. I especially love the idea of him trying to negotiate with Fluttershy directly.
"INTRODUCE ME!"
"Um... no."
And then Torch would have no idea where to go from there.
Instead of Fluttershy saying No, she quietly chastises him for not using his pony voice, then seeing his reflection in his eyes, turns round and chastises Discord for standing behind her, dressed in full plate mail, and quietly slapping the blade of Excaliber in his claw, in his paw.
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It wasn't just you.
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It's fun to tease readers with ambiguous headlines. Just think what else we could have in the International Section:
Despite Discord, Celestia and Twilight Agree Trade Deal with Dragon Lands
Spike in Illegal Gem Smuggling Racquets
Applejack and Berry Punch Banned From Saddle Arabia
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