Where the Fuck is my porn, Come Hither? · 4:41am Aug 31st, 2012
...
...
What?
Oh, the title? Come now. We were all thinking it.
The Dark Apprentice was featured. Most of you know this; that's why you're here. There are some interesting things that come with that. First was the onslaught of authors who most definitely do not appreciate seeing male-fantasy centric, somewhat comedic, half-assedly written porn in their feature bar, and let me know just how they felt about that. Ironically, the reason I came back here was because a colleague of mine extolled the loving, accepting nature of the Brony community. I've since been called immature. Stupid. Disgusting. A bad writer. A bad person.
And I know, it's several loud, obnoxious individuals crying out above a sea of approval. But like a centipede wriggling around in my french fries, it's not something I can just ignore. I learned something that day, and that's that I cannot take negative feedback at all. I was almost glad when the changes to the feature bar pushed me off a week early.
Which brings us to the second thing: readers. Holy shit, but so many readers. I'm tits deep in favorites over here, you guys. I can't swing a cat without hitting a new soldier for the Army of Love.
The day The Dark Apprentice was featured, I found out when the aforementioned colleague told me in the break room. He—who is a far more popular and well known author than I, much to my chagrin—then proceeded to sing Playing With The Big Boys from the film Prince of Egypt (By the power of TAW!) It was funny for about twenty seconds, but the other two and a half minutes of song killed the joke like it was a Family Guy gag.
And then he's like "You'd better update soon."
And I'm like "The last thing I want to do is write." (Remember that at this point in time I was disgusting, stupid, etc.)
And he's like "I'm warning you, Come Hither, (I'm taking a bit of poetic license here) those readers will—"
Drive thru beeped, and I never got to find out just what those readers would do. Except that that's not true, because now I know, and it's ask me for an update. Then, after that, ask me again.
And I don't want to sound bitchy. Oh, it's so hard being a moderately successful pony smut author. My life is ruined. Why won't you all just leave me alone. This is great.
The first time I got asked for an update, I was like "Awe, they want more! They really care!" The second time I was all: "I'd better get to it!" The twentieth time? "I'm trying! God, can't you all see what you're doing to me!"
And then I ripped my face off. Seriously. That face didn't even stand a fucking chance.
I've been silent through this whole ordeal, because I think I ought to avoid blogging when I have no stories to show for it. You've all made it abundantly clear what you want, though, so I'll make it abundantly clear what I have:
I've started writing on a regular basis again recently, and with summer ending I'm a full time opener at work. I'll now have way more words to show for the days that go by. Currently chapter four of TDA is half done. I also have a blowjob scene written for a CandanceXTwilight story, the first couple thousand words of a YouXTwilight story, as well as a TwilightXTwilight speedfic that I'd like to convert into a whole story.
You guys think I write too much Twilight? She's not even my favorite pony.
So I'll get something out there soon. I don't want to just release what I have because it's not finished. It'd be like opening up a porntube video, right, and the male model has got the girl on the couch and he's been screwing the shit out of her, and she's like "Oh god fuck me!" You know, because porn dialogue is shitty but you don't notice it when you're aroused—anyway, he pulls out and she flips over and he's like, brandishing his dick because he's about to shoot it all over her face, and she tosses her hair away and you're like "Yeah, paint that bitch!" and then—
BUFFERING. BUFFERING. BUFFERING.
I know the feeling and I look forward to the update.
I love you, dude. Update only when you feel its ready. Also, fuck what everyone else thinks, what really matters is that you enjoy yourself while doing it.
324726
lol, you're probably getting a 24-hour ban
Hope it was worth it!
PORNTUBE WHATS THAT NEVER HEARD OF IT. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_O_O.png
324732 24 hour ban? why?
Ugh...damn buffering. Gonna go make a sammich then finish this.
I loved that last example, and if you can right so much about twilight without her being your favorite character, i wonder how much you could right about your favorite. Also i cant wait for the next chapter.
But isn't the buffering what everyone goes to those kinds of sites for? After all, it would never happen on youtube or Blip or the other major video sites.
But on a more serious note, thanks for the update, and all of those options except maybe the youxTwilight sound really interesting.
...What did I just read?
I'm not really sure what happened with your...approval rating, but if I know one thing about how to deal with negative feedback, and I do, the easiest thing you can do is simply hit the block button on them.
On a secondary note, these are your stories, nobrony has any right to TELL you how to write your stories. From what I've seen of your work, you have every reason to be proud of your fics and your style as an author. I'm glad that you will return to writing soon and I eagerly await your next update.
With Respect,
Magus Neon, Equestrian Nomad
Good to know. I will now go back to eagerly awaiting the next chapter. (or that Twilight/Cadance story. That sounds kinky...)dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH TWILIGHT SPARKLE.
It's nice to finally hear something from you. I know you said in the beginning you didn't want to be the type that blogs all the damn time but has nothing to show for it, but hearing from the author and at least knowing that he is indeed still writing keeps us (me, at least) interested and excited for the end result. Otherwise, we (again, I, at least) have no way of knowing if you're really writing, or if you decided to give up on the project all together, which is something I had really feared you might do seeing all the douchebaggery that took place in the comments. So, it's fantastic to be given a real update on progress. And god damn if that isn't progress! I was expecting more TDA, but three other stories too? And they all have best pony!? Fuck yeah, seaking!
TL;DR Really glad to have ya back, can't wait to see what you have in store for us
<and her
Well I like the sound of all of those stories... and I hate buffering...dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
I ever thought I'd ever say this but...BRILLIENT BLOG ha never in my wildist dreams have I thought i'd be entertained by a blog (maybe its the fact you made it that made it extra fun) glad to hear your wrighting and dont let those little sods tell you you bad becuse in my book and am sure alot of other peoples books two YOUR A BRILLIENT PERSON!
P.S. I wonder why you wright so much twilight (not that am complaning mind you) if she isnt your fav or whatnot ANYWHO welcome back
Never enough Twilight
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb57524/mlp/images/7/79/FANMADE_Twilight_Sparkle_filly_dancing.gif
No such thing at too much Twilight. Also, blowjob scene for Cadence(whatever)/Twilight? Is this futa, or some male character? (Not disapproving, just wondering.)
Nice analogy, we've all been there.
~ Scare
No comment on that...
~ Timid
324907 Nothing wrong with a little debauchery here and there so long as it does not overwhelm the story. If it's done well and it can really enhance the romance.
324738
Mods try to enforce a 24 hour ban for "firsting" anywhere.
324951 I was not notified of this and I thank you for letting me know.
Thanks for not giving in to the haters!
derp
Only F/F is acceptable. All other horsesmut is just GAAAAAAAY
I hate the double standard in this community. I don't write m/m and almost certainly never will, but that's because there are no male characters I care about and I already did an R63 fic. I'm hardly going to tell someone _not to_ write it because I don't like it. I hate second person too, and the only time I'll shit on it is when someone insists I read their reader insert fic and won't take "I don't like second person" as a warning.
Just in case we're not clear: You're not a bad writer or person. I have liked many of your stories and I have a few I dislike. Same as everyone. I look forward to, and hope you continue writing, your sixty-nine minute stuff.
The Dark Apprentice is, in my opinion, a MASTERPIECE and anypony who says otherwise is a stuck-up prude.
Always sad to hear when an author's nerves/readers are getting to him. It bugs me really, thinking about all the work author's put into something for our benefit, yet it always seems to lead to more stress instead of reward.
Your work is awesome, and i only wish the best for you.
DH is gone, that particular camp should be quieter now without its centerpiece.
Glad to see you're back and functioning. It's never good to lose someone to something like this.
So when can we expect an update?
hey, that was a good movie
At any rate, i don't care when you update, as long as you do and inform us that it might take some time to do so.
Keep up the good work!
So you spent all this time writing a fantastic blog entry when you could have been finishing my porn?
I am dissapointed sir
324951
So basically the first person to post gets a 24 hour ban?
Are you fucking kidding me?
325471
No, if someone goes and gets the first post and says "first!" they get banned if a mod sees it.
enough of your excuses! I need my fix!!
Good post. Would read again.
"that face didnt stand a chance!"
*NEAR DEAD*
"Paint that bitch!"
*!BILLION GAZZIOLIPOIJNEFAIKJND TRILLIOIN OCTILIIIOJN TAIKMEZS TAIMEAX INDFANTELY DEAD*
325522
And that isn't what he did.
325881
He did, but I told him about it and he edited his comment.
Wow. I had a hard time reading this because of laughing so much. Why have you not done a comedy fic yet?
Ignore that question, it's irrelevant. Just like the video game Earthbound. But that is also besides the point, because the point is that some people are impatient asses who don't remember they aren't the ones writing. I'm being a bit of a jerk, though, and I'm slightly hypocriticizing, seeing as I get impatient too sometimes (all the time). But anyways...
If you need more time to write your story, then that is fine. It's yours. In italic. That means srs bsnis. But yeah, do that. We can all wait.
Those upcoming smutties sound pretty crackalackin'. I'm probably not using that right, but whatever. Also not the point. You rock.
Ramblingly,
~Plyxe
>You guys think I write too much Twilight?
Write moar! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
>She's not even my favorite pony
WAT dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png
So, is the update for chapter five almost ready? <-- smartass :P
PORNO PLOX ALSO MY HEART WAS JUST RIPPED OUT AND FED TO ME BY THAT FUCKING PRINCE ONYX STORY HOLY SHIT I WANNA KILL SOME GRYPHONS NOW JEEBUS
The title of this blog post.