• Member Since 14th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 30th, 2016

NightGlider Shimmer


Healing slowly..... And there might be times I show my real face

More Blog Posts171

  • 399 weeks
    My last and final goodbye

    considering i only got 25 vews on my lats post and some only have 10 its obveus people arnt interseted inme anymore so i am hear to say fairwell i will be requesting a ban today.

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    8 comments · 760 views
  • 405 weeks
    Hey....

    hey everyone i dont know whats going on with me right now but i dont think ive ever felt this depressed... i mean i have been more depressed than this but it just feels like an un-natrual medical depression.

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    2 comments · 366 views
  • 409 weeks
    well i can start writing again but there are some .....Updates

    So i can start wrting again i got a new tablet today since i uhh "hit" my tablet to hard and craked the entier screen. so now i have a tablet/computer duo system now. but my dad told me the catch was I had to start working. now this job im taking is bussing tables, that means cleaning them off putting the forks and knifes down and taking the plates and looking pretty for the custimers, atleast

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    2 comments · 345 views
  • 411 weeks
    I'm Done

    I'm done with it. not life. I'm done pushing everyone away from me. I'm going to start letting people into my life starting today. No mater what i do I'm going to express my feelings to my friends instead of hiding them. Nothing is going to stop me from doing this right. My life will be so much more happier if i do. If i have refused to see that I'm sorry. I know you all care so much about me,

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    13 comments · 443 views
  • 411 weeks
    Leaving this blank

    38 comments · 533 views
Apr
25th
2016

So I've gone back to the old razor and blood........ · 1:52am Apr 25th, 2016

Yeah I went back to cutting.......its not like I have an excuse there is no excuse. I know no one is going to kneel before me and rub my back and say oh its okay I'll make it stop and everything will be sugar sprinkles. But people bont understand for me my cutting is sanctually of peace I stop once the voices calling me horabul things stop which the stop pretty fast if I'm cutting and things are just easier to handle. I got the idea to take suplyes with me to school from the good Willow by Juliea Hobin. Its a good book. So I take razors and bandages with me to school and I don't were dresses or leggings anymore the show and cling to the cuts which hurts. And now that my boyfriend is considering breaking up with me and probably will I feel just as depressed as I did when I made this account t for those who knew who I was back then two years ago. And Haha I just turned 15 if that's any consolation. Most would say damn a 15 year old doesn't deserve that pain and suffering...trust me I deserv it more than hitler did.

Report NightGlider Shimmer · 372 views ·
Comments ( 23 )

You don't deserve this, why do you think you do?

Don't tell anyone but I do that too. The pain from the razor is easier to tolerate than the agony of life.

Btw hitler is someone you cannot compare yourself to.

Cannot tell you it's going to get better. We got many different problems for many different reasons. Gender for starters. Now I'm 16, so do not take my advice to heart. I'm not the most observant of and I certainly make a hell a lot of mistakes. 1) this the same stuff I tell my twin: life sucks, and gives no fucks for anyone, so be strong and if you got to struggle through. Life gets worse before it gets better.
I'm not going to tell you what to do, so if it helps you to cope, go for it. Plz just do 2 things.
1) don't take this to far. Don't hurt yourself beyond repair.
2) don't bottle it up. It'll hurt you in the long run. Trust me I know this personally.

:fluttershysad:
Sweetie, you don't deserve any of those things...:heart::heart::heart:
And I think you know that deep inside...:fluttershysad:

3894083 because I'm always awful to people. Just ask the ones who knew me before now
I can't provide links cuz I can't bare to go to their pages but I'll give there names
Seabreez173
Midnight2008 I think those numbers are right.
And Calm wind
Just go ask them they will tell you I'm a horabul person who takes life for granit.

3896148 no deep inside I know how horabul I really am I try and let myself think that people do care about me but every day when I close my eyes I just see I'm one tinny ass fish in a big bowl of fishes that mean even more than I do and I'm on the very bottom of that bowl.

3894158 trust me I can beyond compare myself to hitler. I told my boyfriend to go die in a hole and go back to mexico all because I was pissed I got woken up early. And who else is so horabul as to draw a swastica and say hall hitle he doth suck Kim jong-unes dick in the library of holyness, in sharp on the girls bathroom wall.
Who else would do that .

3894103 yess thank you someone who gets it.

3896734 can't even tell you how many times I told this one person to go die. I even go in detail as to how it would happen. Ur not alone on the short patience scale. It was even to the point to where my mom called me demonic one time, and I'm always compared to my distant cousin who is in jail for murder, but most of all I have no problem fighting but every time I do I get scared, not for me but for the person I am fighting cause I have little restrain and I'm scared that my rage will kill someone. That's why I have a small group of friends and I don't talk 85% of the time.
Ps I have seen worse things written.

3897286 well imaging being compare to a mom who smokes crack and gets high and does cokane and did while pregnant with all four her children witch caused my disorder ADHD were I was born with methainfedimen in my body and which I found out resolts in my shortness my DNA sequens says I'm supposed to be taller by Sven inches. Also being compered to my weed smoking brother who's not only raped a girl and had her child with him having most the custody and beats her and my little sister. Did I mention my little sister cuts too and does drugs all of them my LITTLE sister she's 13 soon to be 14 and she does drugs. I got kicked out of thee preschools and pulled from one. I dismantled coots beat other kids, cursed at teachers and much more. I was called a demon child on many ocations and now its not demon is demon bitch or whore from friends or family. Most the time from friends. I'm compared to my mom, brother and sister many times they used to be good people then when my dad took full costidy of me when I was 12 until I'm 18 so I can never see them. Never.

3898610 WTF, I got no ground in this shit. The fact your still going is amazing. Make it out and your a living miracle. I apologize if this may not sound the way I think.

I don't know you personally but I'll pray for u. I know it's corny but you got me for a loss, usually I'd wanna fight them since that's my first urge when wanting to protect someone, but that just threw me for a loop.

Sorry for being useless & thank you for being strong enough to go through this and stay above, cutting or not.

For what it's worth you can definitely call me a friend.

3896722 I have asked Calm about his side, and he said that "She needs to let it go" like he said that it was two years ago. I say that you try to apologise to everyone involved with this. I say try because sadly some may not forgive you, and if they dont, than oh well. So that's just my 2 cents.

3899089 "

Sorry for being useless"

*sighs* your not the first say that sentans to me.

3899151 to be honest I could care less about that shit now that happened its the fact I did it is what hurts and no that's not what's making me cut its no longer the drama of fimfiction that I hate its my life I hate. And I could care less what that guy has to say about it. I'd prefer to not talk about it further.

3903719 hope the others who said that to you meant well by it

Anyway this situation is pretty clear cut so anybody got a topic to lighten the mood

3904805 nope they were ether killing themselves or dumping me

3904808 hehahha get it clear cut you know cuz I cut :pinkiecrazy:

3906246 I really do need to choose better words. Like I seriously should have seen that pun coming.

Btw
3896722 crazy looks better on me. Just for the record :flutterrage: X :pinkiecrazy: = me

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