Sorry If I'm Quiet... · 11:05pm Apr 24th, 2016
...or boring or bland or depressed. I've been having a lot of terrible anxiety the last week, and I have been hiding it from a lot of you up until now. It's hard... When you're sad and you're not allowed to tell people why.... Or that you can even express it. My family can't know why I'm sad. I guess I'm making this blog to vent... To save you guys a whole news feed of nothing, I'll just carry on and vent below.
I guess this relates to my story "First World..." in the sense that I'm complaining and venting over something that really shouldn't be complained or vented about. But because of my lifestyle and what it means to me, it makes sense from a psychological view. I don't feel comfortable telling anyone why I am upset, and for those of you that do know, or think you know, please don't say anything outside of PM. And... It's more than what I've told anybody. It's the side effects of my anxiety. It's the habits I've developed, the fears I've created, the worries I live day after day after day... All because of something that to many seems stupid and pointless.
Why am I blogging this to the public? I guess because it helps to talk things out. I begin FSA and EOC testing tomorrow at school for the next two weeks... I don't want to fail because anxiety took hold of me. I trust you all enough to let me vent without me actually telling you what the vent is about... Thank you all for being with me. I'm not looking for attention. I'm just looking for relief.
We love you mocha. At least I do. I'm never not gonna be here for you, you can at least count on that. *Puts my hands on your shoulders* I care about you a lot. I want the best for you, and will work hard to achieve that, y'hear? I WILL find a way to make you happy again.
3893765 Thank you... *Hugs*
Come here, you. *snugs*
*snugs tightly*
*hugs tightly*
I know the feeling. If you need advice... don't be afraid to message me. My inbox is always open to you. If at the least, I've become a good sounding board. *hugs*
God will provide. If you don't have peace about something, pray about it. God will work miracles, you just have to ask him to do it. He loves us, and wants us to lean on him for everything.
I want you to know that I'm always here if you need to talk.
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*Hugs tightly*
3893894 Thank you, Vk.
I'll pray even more. Jesus knows and will make all things work for the better good.
3893902 Thank you.
3893914 And if I knew how to spread my inability to feel anxiety, I'd give it to ever one in a heart beat.
Mocha, listen to me, you know me better than most people (excluding Icy), you know somethings I've been through and some things I go through mentally with anxiety type things. You know I'm always here to help you, right? I mean, what would we be without this friendship that we've made through a class that revolves around Photoshop?! I'm always here for you, I really REALLY want you to remember that okay? You mean the world to a lot of people, including me. Plus, me and you are in this testing stupidity together! We'll get through it in a breeze!
3893934 Heh, thanks Soul.
And...I read that in your voice. Is that weird?
3893943 Heh, it's not a problem, and no it is not!
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You need to talk to someone about this because sooner or later this will affect your self esteem. Not to us, not to your family. Talk to someone who you trust the most and can hear you. The clock is ticking.
I wish I could be there for you, but remember: I'll always be there for you.
3894172 I know... It's just difficult. I talked to Cowgirl VK, she really helped me.
Thank you.
Hey, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, shoot me a PM. I'll do my best to be there for you. As will most if us.
We're all here for you, Mocha.
*hugs*
3894679 Thank you.
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I will pray for you that you will feel happy, comfortable and safe in God's Hands. He will relieve your stress, depression, anxiety and sadness through His Help and Guidance, because He loves you and always there to help you. I will also pray for the hope of all the best in your school tests and God will always come to guide and help you and make things easier for you. God will make a way. Keep on praying to God so that He will give you the courage, strength and confidence. Keep on reading your Bible. If fears, depression, worries and anxiety take hold of you, you must overcome them through your belief, faith and trust in God. Put your trust and faith in God so that He will give you the strength, courage and confidence. I pray for you that you will have the trust and faith in God, God willing. My advice to you: if fears overcome you, overcome them through your trust and faith in God. And God will make you happy :)
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side
The one who reigns forever
He is a Friend of mine
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side.
Chris Tomlin - Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies)
-Fanficfinest12-
3894930 Thanks
Talking to qualified people may or may not be a ready option in person, but please consider if there's someone you can call or email. You're at a point in life where you're supposed to be able to seek guidance; and that's especially important if you don't feel comfortable or safe going to your parents for that guidance.
The last thing I want to do is put a wedge between you and your parents. It would be irresponsible and hypocritical of me to do so. But if you like, I can put you in touch with some pastors I know, and who I'd trust to talk about whatever it is, if that would be helpful.
3895599 Thank you. I am feeling a bit better, but that doesn't mean my anxiety is completely gone. If it gets worse, I'll PM you about it.