• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Aug 19th, 2015

BronyNeumo


Author, dreamer, adventurer, scientist, High Prince of Appledashery, and bonafide lover of sadfics and the Great American Cheeseburger.

More Blog Posts12

Aug
30th
2012

On: 'Shattered': an unforseen complication · 2:11am Aug 30th, 2012

Ok, so, I feel I should let you all know that I'm going to have to make a pretty major change to Chapter 3 of 'Shattered', owing to me needing to fix a certain, pretty glaring mistake I made.

I feel I owe an explanation. Specifically, I've been approached by several people who thought that Celestia's reaction was cold, and that she should indeed be showing "favoritism" to Dash for various reasons. At first, I chalked up these misgivings to a mere emotional attachment to the characters and a wish among readers for justice to be swift, cruel, and calculating (I'm getting that impression quite a lot).

However, several discussions revealed that this itself was not the problem, the problem was, in fact, a mistake that I made. I neglected to take into account the difference between civil and criminal suits. Whereas a civil suit is where two private parties go to court, and a criminal suit is where someone is tried by the state for breaking a state (in this case, Equestrian) law.

Now, in the case of 'Shattered', the trial would have to be a criminal suit, but I made the mistake in chapter 3 of treating it like a civil suit. Thus, Celestia claimed she could not show favoritism to Dash by appointing a lawyer (which would be true in a civil suit). However, in a criminal suit, (I neglected to take into account the inherent differences between these two types of trials) the state has to try the defendant, rather than a private party. Thus, Celestia should be providing a lawyer, rather than not.

A truly embarrassing mistake on my part, and I really hope too many of you were not off-put by it. If you did find it grating, then I'm really, truly sorry. I'm going to do my best to fix it without disrupting my plans for the story, and I might suggest (if you had problems with Chapter 3 originally) to re-read it once I fix the mistake. I think you'll find it much improved.

Again, very sorry about that...

Report BronyNeumo · 401 views ·
Comments ( 16 )

It's easy enough to fix, just have Celestia appoint her as the lawyer as she knows that Twilight will do the best job possible.

I did not know that! You learn something new every day!

322023
That's just what I was going to do! The only thing that concerns me is if any readers were off-put by how the chapter originally went, because I did get a lot more downvotes than previous chapters got...

oh dont worry okey
I was to read it thonight XD, but I will wait your change XD

Hadn't noticed the difference ._.

Well, good sir, keep the chapters coming. My brain needs more. Which is why I'm learning about brains... :trollestia:

seriously.

I honestly didn't even realize the mistake. :rainbowlaugh:
But, I appreciate that you are willing to make sure everything in your story is accurate.
Keep up the good work! :pinkiesmile:

I have officially edited the chapter in an attempt to fix that entire problem.

you could just explain that equestrian law is different and if anyone didn't like it they could go shove it...

322319
That's not how I like to treat my readers.

322327
In all honesty you could explain that equestrian law is radically different from our world law, maybe remove things that we take for granted, like the state appointing a lawyer and out of desperation Twilight felt like she had to step forward to fill the slot. But in later chapters add other twists, that i really don't know because i never studied law so i don't know it that well sooooo....

Yeah, useless is as useless does

No problem man. I love your story (it's one of my favorites) and simply wish for it to continue.

Just throwing this out there; since Rainbow Dash is 1/6 of the Elements of Harmony, essentially a Rainbow-colored Superweapon, I feel like that would make her safety and peace of mind a matter of National Security, especially considering they've been needed 3 times in 2 years(needed at the Royal Wedding, unable to be used). I figured since the Elements are useless without all six, raping one of the bearers(or murdering, or otherwise causing serious harm to) would be not only the crime itself, but also the whole 'endangering the kingdom and exposing the nation to grievous harm, possibly even treason, so even if Celestia did show a little favoratism, she could always justify it as protecting an asset vital to the continued safety and security of Equestria. Kind of like how when the Air Force missplaced a nuke a few years ago, everybody up to the Chief of Staff of the Air Force, the Joint Chiefs, and the President were told. That shit's important.

322603
"Innocent until proven guilty" and the right to a fair trial trump national security in my book, and, therefore, my version of Celestia's book as well.

322628
Oh no, I was just saying that I thought it might make the trial itself a matter of state importance, or at least give Celestia an excuse to help. But, you're the author. I'm just along for the ride.

323689
Thank you. I wish more people saw things like that...

Login or register to comment