Experimental Audio Blog Thingy #1 · 3:41am Apr 16th, 2016
Text for reference:
My, it’s certainly been awhile since I gave you all an update. About three months or so, going off my last blogpost, and Hand in Hoof hasn’t been updated in months. I suppose after that length of time has past, I might as well give you an answer.
This time, however, I’d like to make it special. Since hardly anyone seems to read my blogposts, perhaps it might be better if I did this with audio instead.
Suffice to say, quite a lot has happened over the past few months. Between my unemployment, my homestuckedness—is that even a word—, my lethargy, a number of emotional breakdowns, and just a general sense of ennui, I’ve not had much drive to write, even when I have a very vague idea of where I want my story to go.
After I was let go from my job and had to deal with some personal issues that—for the sake of the innocent, I won’t go into—left me and my belongings in a less pleasant state than before, I’ve been in a rather—how do I put this—muggy state. I’ve just been feeling this general blockage in my mind whenever I try to pull up the chapter I’ve been trying to write, and almost every day, niggling little whispers echo in my head telling me that I should have been more productive than I was. Almost every day, the scene I’m trying to write taunts me because I can’t work up the creative spirit to find the words to describe it.
Ever since roughly October, I’ve been working on this chapter, anticipating all those moments I’d been wanting to write for a while, and yet I’m at that really nice moment and…
Nothing.
I don’t want to quit writing, but at the same time, I’m at a loss as to what to do. Honestly, I’m hoping that by venting my frustrations onto digital paper and putting them to audio might help to clear the fog in my conscience. Lately, I’ve just been having this inner struggle of trying to understand myself and trying to come to grips with why I act like I do, and why all the myriad distractions around me tempt me so much. I don’t like beating myself up, but I hate how lazy I’ve become, in spite there being so little I can actually do about it.
Maybe I need a break. An actual break; not the incidental breaks I’ve been taking. Maybe I just need time to find my mojo again before I hop into the saddle—oh god, that pun—. Maybe I just need to step away from the narrative side of writing and try my hand at doing more expository work.
Would you guys like to hear me talk about ponies?
