• Member Since 18th Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen Sep 3rd, 2020

T W Hoof

Prepare to be worded.

More Blog Posts9

  • 356 weeks
    Reader There's a Story on My Page

    Despite all odds I have written another story. I ran an April Story Giveaway on the Quill & Blade forum and aside from Sixkiller5 getting some words out of me I was able to prove an old movie wrong. From the movie War Games there is a quote, "The only way to win is not to play." This is wrong, demonstrably wrong. As

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    1 comments · 347 views
  • 361 weeks
    Official Quill & Blade Group - Now With 70% More Wild Parties

    If somehow someone who is following me is not also following Crystal Wishes and/or Aznel, what is wrong with you? Go click that button I'll wait. Now that that is fixed go join the official Quill & Blade group for even more AU

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    1 comments · 193 views
  • 371 weeks
    The Gift of Words

    First things first. I found it and still find it absolutely hilarious that I was able to get my latest story title to work both as a story title and an accurate description of what it is in a meta sense. Since it is literally a gift of words for a holiday giveaway drawing I ran to give back after all the incredible luck I've had recently when entering other peoples giveaways.

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    4 comments · 227 views
  • 385 weeks
    Continuity, it's a Thing

    It's time for a blog again, that must mean another story is in the queue. The upcoming story is:

    The Velvet Connection

    Sunbeam and Pepper Ridge were ecstatic when they successfully opened Sunridge Sweets and filled it with satisfied ponies. Unfortunately in this town you don't get to move baked goods without the permission of a shadowy cabal of bakers.

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    0 comments · 240 views
  • 386 weeks
    Story Lines, One at a Time

    It has been an interesting week for me. I found out that I was more attached to a side character in Crystal's Wishes than I realized. That is saying something as that story and that character in particular catalyzed and then directed my muse. I am still here though and baring some calamity I hope to keep pushing out these

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    0 comments · 258 views

Reader There's a Story on My Page · 8:18am Apr 6th, 2016

Despite all odds I have written another story. I ran an April Story Giveaway on the Quill & Blade forum and aside from Sixkiller5 getting some words out of me I was able to prove an old movie wrong. From the movie War Games there is a quote, "The only way to win is not to play." This is wrong, demonstrably wrong. As Sixkiller5 can attest, you can also win by being the only one to play.

Can you guess either of the unnamed Quill & Blade canon character cameos before reading my character listing?

As usual I've included the raw notes/outline I used to write the story. SPOILERS BELOW!


Oooh this is the chance for Gourmet Palate the traveling unicorn chef that may or may not be a hitman to shine!

Alpha Title

Last Meal
Served With a Smile
Service With a Smile
Don't Eat the Salad
The Chef Who Knew to Little
Don't Mind the Dagger in Your Soup

Beta Title

Waiter There's a Bomb in My Soup

Beta Summary

Anyone can attest that no matter how skilled a chef may be and how tight a kitchen they run, occasionally something can go awry. A pinch to much salt in the soup, an untossed salad wilting from an extra helping of dressing, or heaven forbid the wrong plate arriving at a patrons table. Anyone that is save Gourmet Palate.

When Gourmet Palate is invited to an event he provides only the most delectable dishes befreit of such amateur mistakes. Instead a string of suspicious events follows him wherever he travels.


In the Crystal Empire
Somehow the exact placement of the soup gathered reflected light from the crystals in the room heating it
Neutralized the poison just enough to leave a few ponies ill instead of fatalities

Nopony noticed the little black flecks hidden within the leafy depths of the salad.
Gourmet Palate eyes narrowed as he focused closely on the guests first bite
A pepper shaker became unscrewed when a guest became overly vigorous seasoning their <SALAD NAME> the resulting cloud of nostril warfare caused such a wave of sneezing that a small fire was extinguished before it would climb into the chocolate liquor fountain.

The Chef tries as hard as he can to always cook the perfect meal, but for reasons he can't understands things sometimes go wrong. These are not actually accidents.

He is in high demand despite the occasional inexplicable mishap.

Have an event go well while the chef is nervous (expand!)
After chef leaves second cook <NAME> runs up, chef heart seizes but all is good
Royal invitation to Canterlot ((ultimately Eybarmir (neutral? gryphon kingdom)) delivered by Snowy Haze (pegasus courier)

Returns to Canterlot
Not actually an audience with a princess (at first)
Val vets him and interview
chance to highlight a few mishaps (be sure to keep it vague at this point if he is a hitpony or super lucky anti-hitpony)
He is cleared and so are (list a few ponies on staff) told others didn't pass the background check, also a gryphon <NAME> is attached to the group for the meat dishes
He is told he will be handling the food at a three-way diplomatic summit and was requested by name by King Victor Kronson (dun dun dun)

Team prep
Visit to Runic for some special ingredients

Train ride to Eybarmir
Extra security
Hides a few of those special ingredients from the inspectors <NAME>
Maybe have Balthasar assist Palate with that
All clear with the checkpoint

Making the meal
Have a few things "go wrong"

First course, <SALAD NAME>
King Kronson makes a comment that his salad lacks gumption. Which is only to expected from ponies
Princess Luna calls for "Bring us something "kick it up a notch" as they say"
When Kronson sniff and looks down his beak at her she narrows her eyes
-Instead of the single drop Gourmet Palate is trying to put she grabs the entire bottle (Red Starfish Hotsauce?)
-Even Princess Celestia Regent of the Sun raises an eyebrow
Her salad sizzles for a moment before it browns and begins to wilt. It almost appears to be smoking.
-No one noticed the faintly glowing runes on the bottom of the bowl disappear
Uh Let me bring you a new plate princess
Carefully plate is whisked away
Balthasar stops smiling

Second course kabobs optionally with meat
Balthasar is also here for those who want meat
-He is paying very close attention to King Ranald
Blades affixed to every major feather on his wings
Guards are very focused on Thin Slice
Whirls of cutting and throwing slices to every guest
As a finale brings every blade together over his back to sound a single clear note
This note happens to perfectly match the resonant frequency of King Ranald's glass, shattering it
Balthasar is very agitated by now and leaves in a huff.

The souffle erupted. (startling a young filly <Dot>... who dropped a bottom of champagne... the cork flew off... intercepting an unseen dart)
Balthasar is seen by Gourmet Palate a final time in the prep area
He tells me that he was a worth opponent despite being a pony
-I'm outahere baby

Story ends with a newspaper headline about no peace reached during an eventful summit

Chef Hierarchy

Under Chef
Station Chef

First Cook
Second Cook

Boulanger: The bread cook
Confiseur: The candy cook
Fish cook or poissonier: The fish cook--all fish and shellfish items and their sauces
Friturier: The deep fry cook
Grillardin: The grill cook
Pantry chef or Garde Manager: Is responsible for cold foods, including salads and dressings, pâtés, cold hors d'oeuvres, and buffet items.
Pastry chef or patissier: Prepares pastries and desserts.
Potager: The soup and often stock cook
Roast cook or rotisseur: Prepares roasted and braised meats and their gravies, and broils meats and other items to order. A large kitchen may have a separate broiler cook or grillardin (gree-ar-dan) to handle the broiled items. The broiler cook may also prepare deep-fried meats and fish.
The Butcher Commis: The common cook under one of the Chef de Partie. This level of cook comprises the bulk of the kitchen staff
Tournant (or chef de tournant): The Relief cook. This term describes the cook in the kitchen who provides help to all the different cooks rather than having a specific job.
Vegetable cook or entremetier: Prepares vegetables, soups, starches, and eggs. Large kitchens may divide these duties among the vegetable cook, the fry cook, and the soup cook.


Gourmet Palate - Head Chef, Male, Unicorn
Refined Taste - Under Chef, Female, Unicorn
Delightful Trim - Pastry Chef, Female, Earth Pony
Just Right - Second Cook, Male, Earth Pony
Thin Slice - Entremetier (Vegetable Cook), Male, Pegasus, Has all the knives
Balthasar Gerardts - Rotisseur, Male, Gryphon, Assassin in Chef hired by Kronson
Silver Platter - Male, Earth Pony, Wait Staff
Dot - Unnamed Serving Filly, Q&B canon
Snowy Haze - Special Courier, Female, Pegasus
Maya "Don't Call Me Val" - Spy Master, Q&B canon
Wind Break - Female, Pegasus, Head of Guard detail escorting Gourmet Palate and Co.
Grote Pier - Male, Gryphon, Salty Dog Airship Captain
Princess Luna - I am the night!
King Victor Kronson - Q&B canon
King Randal - Q&B canon

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I knew I forgot something

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