I lost my fight · 12:51am Apr 2nd, 2016
Someone close to me told me this isn't losing, but they say you're your own harshest critic. Last Saturday morning, my mental health decline hit what was rock bottom and, long story short, I put myself in the hospital. The only way to describe the last week would be 'exhausting'. The mental health care system in Newfoundland is barely functional at best and damn near non existent at worst... same with the regular health care system. Canada may have 'free healthcare' (this doesn't include medication or ambulance, BTW), but you literally get what you pay for.
I finally got on some medication on Monday afternoon, which you may notice is a long time after Saturday morning. Chronic depression and anxiety to the point where I can't function like a normal human being! Maybe that's why I did Scootaloo's anxiety accurately according to some, I guess? At least at the start. Anyway, I'm on Zoloft (setraline), but I'm having a very bad reaction to it. My suicidal urges are a little quieter, but I know it's too early for the medicine to kick in. In the meantime, I've gotten debilitating migraines and my sleep is completely disturbed.
I see my family doctor on April 6 to follow up on the meds, get something for anxiety, and hopefully return to work. I won't get to see any sort of therapist for at least another few weeks. But hey, it's free, right?!
Thanks for all the support, folks. I just wish I was able to listen to your advice beforehand.
Better late than never. Here's to a return to a positive outlook and future for you!
I'm also on zoloft and it's messed with my sleep patterns.
Zoloft messed with my sleeping, too, but that went away after I took it for a while. Just tell whoever is doing the follow-up with you all of the details you notice. They can and will help you. There's always a little trial and error to go through with that stuff, but the struggle is worth it.
I'm so glad you're still here, KK. I'm not sure what else I can say, other than that I'm here if you ever want to talk. I mean that.
Thanks for telling us what's going on, man.
I also just wanted to mention, on a side note, that I was recently switched from sertraline to Wellbutrin, a drug that addresses low dopamine as opposed to low serotonin.
Turns out, I think that having low dopamine levels was an even bigger contribution to my depression, even though taking sertraline helped me for a good while. This web article gives an overview of what having low dopamine might cause, and I personally fit almost all of those symptoms. And now that I've been on Wellbutrin for over a week, I'm honestly starting to see a more specific change in my motivation and confidence levels.
Anywho, sorry for making this comment section into a soap-box for meds or something, but I just thought it might be worth mentioning!
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Definitely gonna be following up. And I'm happy for the support you guys give me. Sometimes encourage does help shut down the thoughts when they're really loud.
However, Arwhale, the talk of Wellbutrin is rather interesting. It's entirely possible I have a lack of dopamine, since I've hit every single checkmark on that list basically. At the same time, I did for serotonin too. I may need both. It's going to be a trial and error.
Hey there. I hope your doing better. Always know you have many friends that can lend their support. Always strive for the best outcome and never give in to despair. Just keep on trying, and always look to the future.
Best of luck my friend.
3856120 thanks. In the hospital right now, haven't got a lot of data so been staying off fimfic and everything else, but stable ATM
Glad too see you are still alive, hope you are doing okay