• Member Since 29th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen April 30th

KrishnaKarnak


We didn't start the fire.

More Blog Posts168

  • 370 weeks
    Phew.

    It's been a wild year and a half or so. Just wanted to stop by and say I'm presently still alive and am doing better, if anyone ever wondered to themselves, 'where did that Krishna dude run off to'.

    6 comments · 636 views
  • 443 weeks
    Another six days in the hospital...

    It's been a trip. That's the best way to describe it. I went back to work for a night and a half. Then it became very, very clear that I was only working because I wanted to, and not because I was in any way healthy enough for it. Just spent six very long days under 24 observation (144 hour observation technically). I'm safe to go home, but not yet in any condition to work. I'm not up to giving a

    Read More

    7 comments · 566 views
  • 445 weeks
    I lost my fight

    Someone close to me told me this isn't losing, but they say you're your own harshest critic. Last Saturday morning, my mental health decline hit what was rock bottom and, long story short, I put myself in the hospital. The only way to describe the last week would be 'exhausting'. The mental health care system in Newfoundland is barely functional at best and damn near non existent at worst... same

    Read More

    8 comments · 611 views
  • 450 weeks
    Alright, here goes

    The last thing I wrote and submitted to FIMFiction was on Christmas Eve, 2014. I wanted to try to return to WRTMI then, write another chapter or something before the big rewrite I wanted to do, but it just never happened. The only writing I did last year was basically some 4chan fetish crap, the entire time wanting to continue my main fic but feeling utterly incapable of doing so.

    Read More

    7 comments · 2,231 views
  • 451 weeks
    Some sort of update soon.

    Had a bit of a writing renaissance lately. Within the next few days, I'll try and give you guys some insight on what's going to happen. One thing that kept me writing in the past was how it used to bring me some comfort from my day to day life. As that disappeared, as did my urge and ability to write. I'm beginning to get something of a spark again, but I don't yet know if I'm going to finish the

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    1 comments · 419 views
Apr
2nd
2016

I lost my fight · 12:51am Apr 2nd, 2016

Someone close to me told me this isn't losing, but they say you're your own harshest critic. Last Saturday morning, my mental health decline hit what was rock bottom and, long story short, I put myself in the hospital. The only way to describe the last week would be 'exhausting'. The mental health care system in Newfoundland is barely functional at best and damn near non existent at worst... same with the regular health care system. Canada may have 'free healthcare' (this doesn't include medication or ambulance, BTW), but you literally get what you pay for.

I finally got on some medication on Monday afternoon, which you may notice is a long time after Saturday morning. Chronic depression and anxiety to the point where I can't function like a normal human being! Maybe that's why I did Scootaloo's anxiety accurately according to some, I guess? At least at the start. Anyway, I'm on Zoloft (setraline), but I'm having a very bad reaction to it. My suicidal urges are a little quieter, but I know it's too early for the medicine to kick in. In the meantime, I've gotten debilitating migraines and my sleep is completely disturbed.

I see my family doctor on April 6 to follow up on the meds, get something for anxiety, and hopefully return to work. I won't get to see any sort of therapist for at least another few weeks. But hey, it's free, right?!

Thanks for all the support, folks. I just wish I was able to listen to your advice beforehand.

Report KrishnaKarnak · 611 views ·
Comments ( 8 )

Better late than never. Here's to a return to a positive outlook and future for you!

I'm also on zoloft and it's messed with my sleep patterns.

Zoloft messed with my sleeping, too, but that went away after I took it for a while. Just tell whoever is doing the follow-up with you all of the details you notice. They can and will help you. There's always a little trial and error to go through with that stuff, but the struggle is worth it.

I'm so glad you're still here, KK. I'm not sure what else I can say, other than that I'm here if you ever want to talk. I mean that.

Thanks for telling us what's going on, man.

I also just wanted to mention, on a side note, that I was recently switched from sertraline to Wellbutrin, a drug that addresses low dopamine as opposed to low serotonin.

Turns out, I think that having low dopamine levels was an even bigger contribution to my depression, even though taking sertraline helped me for a good while. This web article gives an overview of what having low dopamine might cause, and I personally fit almost all of those symptoms. And now that I've been on Wellbutrin for over a week, I'm honestly starting to see a more specific change in my motivation and confidence levels.

Anywho, sorry for making this comment section into a soap-box for meds or something, but I just thought it might be worth mentioning!

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Definitely gonna be following up. And I'm happy for the support you guys give me. Sometimes encourage does help shut down the thoughts when they're really loud.

However, Arwhale, the talk of Wellbutrin is rather interesting. It's entirely possible I have a lack of dopamine, since I've hit every single checkmark on that list basically. At the same time, I did for serotonin too. I may need both. It's going to be a trial and error.

Hey there. I hope your doing better. Always know you have many friends that can lend their support. Always strive for the best outcome and never give in to despair. Just keep on trying, and always look to the future.

Best of luck my friend.

3856120 thanks. In the hospital right now, haven't got a lot of data so been staying off fimfic and everything else, but stable ATM

Glad too see you are still alive, hope you are doing okay

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