• Member Since 21st Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Grimm


Mostly harmless.

More Blog Posts16

  • 171 weeks
    Everything Is Going to Be Okay

    The page stretches out before me. White, endless, empty. A cursor blinks, over and over, restless and waiting and unsatisfied. I want to write. I have to write. I can’t write. I wait for words to come and they don’t. It’s been a long time since they last stopped coming. I hoped they wouldn’t leave again. I hoped I’d keep them rolling, keep the gears turning, keep the words spilling forth like

    Read More

    5 comments · 785 views
  • 234 weeks
    Aural Spooks


    Because it's spooky season.

    Howdy y'all.

    Read More

    8 comments · 492 views
  • 266 weeks
    Red Shoe Diaries

    Because sometimes we all need an escape...

    Howdy fellas,

    Read More

    3 comments · 808 views
  • 271 weeks
    How To Write Clop for People Who Can’t Write Clop Too Good: Part 1 - Characterisation

    How To Write Clop for People Who Can’t Write Clop Too Good
    Part 1 - Characterisation


    What is this, a blog post for ants?

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    10 comments · 975 views
  • 273 weeks
    An Interview with B_25

    Because sometimes I talk about stuff.

    Hey y’all.

    Read More

    2 comments · 509 views
Apr
1st
2016

Reinvention · 2:52pm Apr 1st, 2016

Because sometimes we have to change.

Hey guys.

It's been a while since you heard anything about Mis-Shapes from me, I know that. I want to apologise, and that's why I've decided to take the time to put those fears to rest. You see, over the past few months Ive been thinking, and I've decided what I really need to do is give the story a whole new direction. Frankly, I don't think the drama angle is really working out anymore. It's boring, no one cares about it, and we all know the real reason people are reading it anyway.

So with that in mind, I've reworked my entire plan for the final few chapters, and have been working furiously getting them finished. I know all this might sound worrying, but I've decided to give you all a sneak-peak of the the last chapter, which should allay any misgivings you might have. I know once you read it you'll be as thrilled as I am with the new tone of the story. It's fresh, and exciting, and I'm really looking forward to seeing your response to it.

One thing worth noting is that since this excerpt is from a bit later on from where we are now, you might feel that it's a little out of place. Don't worry! I promise the transition will feel natural and sensible once the rest of it comes out. So, without further ado, here is a brief part of the final chapter of Mis-Shapes:


It goes without saying, this contains minor spoilers. Nothing too bad, but don't read if you're worried about that sort of thing.

Velvet let out a pleasured moan as she took Shining's powerful meat rocket as deep into her throat as she could. It was super hot and stuff.

Across the room, Night Light, who was busy fucking Cadance, high-fived his daughter taking the Princess from the other end with her ethereal cock (because there aren't enough stallions in the show and so magic futa is pretty much the only solution).

"This was the best idea ever!" he exclaimed. "Thank Celestia you knew exactly what to say to make everyone realise that banging your family is the best thing ever!"

Twilight smiled. :)

"Yes," she said. "It's a good thing that no one in this story Equestria has any common sense or depth beyond their one character trait."

"I hear that!" said Shining, as he clutched Velvet as close as he could, ramming himself deep as he came down their throat. She swallowed every drop. "Way to go Mom!"

Velvet grinned as she released Shining's cock from her maw. "Oh, don't you worry honey, we're just getting started."

Suddenly, the door slammed open. In the frame stood a dark-coloured stallion with a blood-red mane and four skulls and twenty knives arranged in an even larger skull for a cutie mark. Or maybe it was a scythe, and the scythe was also on fire. Whichever's cooler.

Also he was totally buff and shit.

"Who are you?" the entire family exclaimed in unison. Except Cadance, because she was still blowing Twilight. But she tried.

"Me?" whispered the intruder, running a hoof through his really sexy mane. "I'm Grimm, the new pony in town. I heard you guys might be totally into me or whatever."

And they totally were, even the stallions because he was so good looking. But it's not like Grimm was gay or anything. He was way too awesome and handsome to be gay.

He just liked the way stallions looked sometimes.

But he was way into mares, so they were shit out of luck.

Okay maybe he'd have sex with them too just so they didn't feel left out or whatever, but it didn't mean anything. Also he was always on top because he was super dominant and cool like that.

And so all the Sparkle family were super into him, and told him so, and he was like whatever, no big deal, and whipped out his huge stallion stick.

"Oh Grimm, you're so big," they said (because he was, so fuck you Jessica how would you even know).

"Yeah," said Grimm, sexily brushing his sexy mane out of his sexy eyes. He stepped forward and took Velvet's hoof in his own. "Goddess, you're beautiful," he said, and she instantly got wet and nearly had an orgasm right there because his compliment was so classy and shit. Everyone knows all a girl mare wants is classy compliments and then they're ready to jump your bones.

Anyway, so Velvet was already super horny and so she bent over and was like "Fuck me" and Grimm did. He entered her in one, swift motion, which went all the way in and pushed up against her cervix which I hear girls ponies are super into.

And hen he pulled out, but not the whole way, and she felt so empty and stuff without him inside her. And then he pushed back in again And then out again. And then in again. And then out again. And then in again. And then out again. And then in again. And then out again. And then in again. And then out again. And then in again. And then out again. And then in again. And then out again. And then in again. And then out again. And then in again. And then out again. And then in again. And then out again.

This went on for some time, because Grimm was just that good at making sex. Velvet had a ton of orgasms and the other mares felt really horny too and the stallions that I'd forgotten about until now because who even cares about them got super jealous and emasculated.

After Velvet was thoroughly satisfied, and only then, did Grimm push his baby-making rod in to the hilt, and it pushed right through her cervix and into her womb and she had like 3 orgasms at the same time which no one even knew was possible, and then he came inside her and probably got her pregnant again because I hear that's something people are into.

When he pulled out he was still hard, because he's so impressive physically. Twilight was gazing at him with awe, while Cadance was busy blowing Night Light because she's such a slut like Jessica fuck you just because Dave's car is nicer than mine he's still a fucking douchebag and I hope he cheats on you. Grimm smiled, and his turgid lance throbbed.

"Who's next?"

So, there we have it. I hope that settles any doubts that this is the correct course of action, because I think it clearly is. I've got some great character development lined up for this new, original character you've seen a sneak peak of, like when he beats up an evil pony called Dave, or when he becomes a mega-alicorn (which is the level above a normal alicorn, gasp) and saves the world from a two-headed dragon or some shit like that, or when he has a internal crisis and doesn't think anything he writes is worth reading and why doesn't he just give up and oh boy this joke is getting way too real I think I'll stop now.

I'm anticipating lots of people wanting to use him in their own stories, since he's such a great character, so if you do make sure to message me first so I can nitpick every bit of characterisation and also you have to put that he's my OC in like the first sentence of your description in the biggest typeface and in bold. I have to protect my precious original characters, that's all.

So until then, I hope you all look forward to this new, exciting direction. I'm feeling really positive about it, and think it's going to make a wonderful story. Happy April 1st everyone.

Grimm


Also turgid lance is pretty much the best euphemism for cock ever

Comments ( 20 )

What truly scares me is that someone will say with all sincerity that this is a great idea.

I forgot the date and was just thinking "noooo whyyyyy" at first then I looked down and started laughing my ass off so thank you

Oh man, this is a great idea! Grimm sounds like a really cool dude who's sexual adventures I'd like to subconsciously project myself onto enjoy from a careful emotional distance, never relating or projecting myself onto to the characters at all.

No wait that second one sounds bad too.

3840983
Oops? :twilightoops:

Happy April 1st.

3840983

This is a great idea. And you know it.

~Skeeter The Lurker

See, as least this is clever. Most just do the usual "My fic is canceled."

aprilfirst/10 it gets worse every year

3841280
Clever is a strong word...

3841288
As is tradition.

Heh. At least you put some effort into things. Good on ya.

nope...nope...nope
no...sneak-peaks for me...nope

I've liked drama thing, maybe because I've found out story recently so I didn't needed to wait to get to the "so-far-last-chapter"

but I will believe that you can keep with amazing quality until I can read the rest

Silly person! :twilightsmile:

Totally worth the wait. You have a way with words.
Moar!
;)

Hmm, yes. A definite improvement. Frankly, all that drama in the previous chapters was just confusing.
Good to see you bring some fresh blood into the story - I already like Grimm (do not steal) for no discernible reason at all!

No, I actually did love the drama. :fluttercry: It was so good and well thought out and added to the, well, provocative scenes immensely. Please reconsider!! :raritydespair:

(Just kidding, I realize this is an April Fool's joke!) :rainbowlaugh:

#how to alienate your entire readership in 5 minutes

Yesss... hacked.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Anonymous-thumbs-400x276.jpg

Far more effort put into this than most April 1st jokes I've seen today. Bravo.:yay:

3841463
3843222
I spent the last few months working on this blog post instead of Mis-Shapes.

3843623 ... You are a terrible human being and you should be ashamed of yourself. Get back to writing my smut.

Truly the only way I foresaw these dramatic events coming to a head. I love the Symbolism in the wording you used.
11/10 -Madness.

I knew it was a joke when I read "meat rocket."

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