Can Someone Give Me Some Advice? · 12:19pm Mar 19th, 2016
I've recently started on a new story (another "Celestia does a thing" story) and have become worried it's either too weird or just not very good. Here's the story!
"Princess Celestia's Identity Crisis"
After being imprisoned and impersonated by Queen Chrysalis for two straight weeks, Princess Celestia is randomly freed and in search of answers. Celestia only hopes most of Equestria hasn't being destroyed during her enemy's reign as her.
So what's all this talk about a new ice cream shop opening up in Canterlot?
And a royal wedding planned for tomorrow?
Rated "Teen" for awkward romantic moments.
Originally a one-shot, it looks like it'll be around 3-4 chapters long. Short chapters.
Just to give you a basic feel of the awkwardness, here's basically what happens: SPOILERS!
While Celestia is locked away, Chrysalis (parading around as Celestia) starts a romantic relationship with Luna, Twilight, and Discord, promising them all a grand wedding the next day. The three don't know about the other, though. Chrysalis has also forced Celestia to retire and open up a milkshake shop in Canterlot. Because it's fun.
Here's the first chapter for those interested in giving feedback: Chapter One
That sounds weird as hell alright, but in a funny way. I see no problem.
Also, it used to be that you did crazy-ass stories just for the hell of it and not care too much. Getting a bit too used to the feature box?
Sounds like a normal story to me
Must admit, I'm used to when you go out in left field it's either super silly or dark, both of which I quite enjoy. Couple of things I'm trying to work out would be the why/how Celestia could get free, and why/how she'd end up with the ice cream store instead of a bakery.
I like the idea of Cryssi proposing to several beings without the others knowing about it and how much fun THAT train wreck would be, especially if they only found out when they all showed up at the same place at the same time to get married to the same mare. But on that note, Luna might be a bit of a stretch. Aside from the obvious sister thing, as long as they had known each other and lived with each other (not counting that little trip to the moon), I would've thought that any feelings Luna had would have manifested before now.
But, on the other hoof, you do have a talent for fitting puzzle pieces into whatever picture you like, and they usually look pretty good when you're done.
So I say give it a shot.
I think Celestia is wise, and good at damage control.
I look forward to read how she get out from this situation.
3815680 He got a full mug of that limelight mang. And it was no sour but sweeeeeeet.
Anyway staying on topic. The concept seems interesting enough. And has the potential for a heavy dose of hilarity. But the more I read this first chapter the more I think you're kidding yourself if you're gonna shove two more realizations and a wedding in 4 chapters or less, at least if they stay that size. The only major pitfalls are going to be how Discord didn't patch this together, but I already have something in my head for that which is most likely similar to what you cooked up for it. But as long as the reveals of Chrysalis's antics aren't too similar you'll have another good comedy under your belt.
I think you should go for it! You are an amazing writer and even if it is too weird it probably won't be BAD. I know I would probably enjoy it, but I am someone who can appreciate weird and stupid things.
I would give feedback, but you're such a good writer so I can't say anything bad
So, I'm gonna leave the feedback to the others. I don't trust myself to give proper feedback, I'm biased. And, as always, keep up the good work.
Thousands of years of tradition have given the Princess of the Sun quite a thick shell. Perhaps Queen Chrissy is merely interested in what will happen if she gives that shell a good smack with a spoon and watches the resulting fun. That alone could get Discord on her side.
"Look, Two weeks is all I ask. You let me take her out of circulation for two weeks and we both work on letting her unwind for a change. It'll be fun. For all of us." Chrysalis sipped her tea while leaning back in her chair, watching Discord ponder the offer.
"The last time I helped a good friend pull off a stunt like this, I wound up being drained of all my magic and almost destroying Equestria," he said. "Sounds good. When do we start?"
3815680 Maybe.
I used to have 50 followers and if something failed, no one really noticed. Now I have a few more than that and I feel a bit more in the spotlight. Not that everything of mine gets in the feature box. Only "Celestia does a thing" stories:
Princess Celestia Plots Out the Season Finale
Tyrant Celestia's Trip to the Moon
Princess Celestia's Newest Arch Enemy
Princess Celestia has stolen all your bedsheets
Any Last Requests? (featuring Celestia doing things)
Maybe it's time I abandon this account and start a new one: totallynotnaturalbornderpy
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Well, you do still have the one you secretly post all your porn on.
I like it
Sounds like it'd be a lot of fun.
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3815680 Thanks for the replies/suggestions. I think I'll pop this story on the back burner for a bit and see if it gains anymore ideas. Then I think I'll write the entire story, chop it up a bit, and release it all at once. I honestly can't see it getting longer than 10k max. I may also be working with someone on it.
In the mean time, I'll get back to some Bad Dude, because he's cute and he keeps ringing my doorbell, wondering when we're going to play again.
I read that first chapter and I'm really intrigued! I really hope that you do continue with the story, because I'm sure that it'll turn out great.
3819912 I'll be writing it in full before releasing it. Just in case I don't like something near the beginning by the time I get to the end. I do still plan on finishing this.
Bwahahaha!
Great stuff man!
Kill yourself.
You're welcome.
Also, nobody cares about your birthday.