Fic recs, March 14th: Favorites edition + an important message! · 11:40pm Mar 14th, 2016
Hey everyone, the Lost Narrator needs our help! I’ll let MagpiePony tell you more:
And for sticking around and hopefully helping Lost out, I'm giving you... Well, about the most words I can feasibly read in a day. 23 stories!
A while back, I went through my favorites shelf and pulled out everything I hadn't reviewed. This isn't all of stories, but it most of them, specifically the shortest ones. So read below to find out how my tastes have changed over the course of three or four years on Fimfiction! Expect lots of H's and R's, some good laughs, more than a few surprises, and my 3000th story reviewed!
So close, Biscuit. So close. :(
H: 5 R: 9 C: 7 V: 1 N: 1
Sweet Escape by Bob from Bottles
Review #3000!
Genre: Comedy
Princess Luna is determined that everypony start losing weight, beginning with her sister.
Starting off with something from my “Old Favorites” group folder; no better time to get one of these out! This is a very old writeoff winner, if I’m not mistaken, and if there’s a reason I love it, it’s that it combines my favorite brand of Royal Sister shenanigans with bonus Cakelestia. I mean, that’s just Bestia. Luna herself is a good bridge between the woobier portrayals of season one and her first, at-the-time recent, appearance in season two. What makes this work is, I would say, the premise. It’s not your average comedy about two women trying to lose weight. Nor is Luna up to any of the various things Celestia accuses her of. Her reason for starting with Celestia is a good one, and the actual reason she got on a weight-loss kick in the first place is hilarious. The story is paced at a light clip, and the comedic timing is all around perfect. And if I don’t find myself as overwhelmed by it as I once was, don’t take that as a sign that it’s not worth reading, because it absolutely is.
Recommended
Little Dashie by Dashiel
Genre: Dark Comedy
The little filly in the box wasn’t looking too good.
Oh my god, four years later and I still adore this story. It’s got everything I love: making fun of MLD, bad things happening to ponies for hilarious reasons, a highly unreliable narrator. Even knowing what happens, reexperiencing this story was glorious. It’s one of my all-time favorites; for your sake, don’t pass it up.
Highly Recommended
Doom of the Snow Weasels by Applejinx
Reading by BleedingRaindrops
Genre: Feghoot
When their train is stopped by ‘snow weasels’, Applejack, Rarity and Princess Luna have to fend off Pinkie’s random suggestions and find a way out of the situation.
This one’s so old, it’s from the original Fimfiction writing contest. :D And that’s probably why it feels a little rough. The dialogue especially is a low point, with AJ’s accent overwritten and the characters being fairly explicative. And while it doesn’t fail the Luna Test at all, it nevertheless overdoes the old-timey speak. If there’s a real problem with this, though, it’s that it’s just Swarm of the Century, with no one listening to Pinkie… until they do and have to convince Luna that she should as well. The only real difference is that this builds to a pun. So that’s our first unpleasant surprise!
Recommended If You Like Puns
Fluttershy Gets a Paper Cut by Filler
Reading by BleedingRaindrops
Hey, this one comes with a reading! BR hasn’t done anything in a year (is he even still around? I don’t know when the last time I saw him on Skype was.) and I can’t evaluate this too well, but for a live reading, it’s pretty decent, if quiet. It might be worth going through his backlog, though there’s a lot there I’ve already read. (It's really weird that I'm reviewing this reader and then adding in a reading by him for the previous story, years later. c.c)
Reading by WhoLandon
Reading by Scribbler, et. al.
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Comedy of Errors
And it just keeps bleeding.
I seem to recall the inception of this story was something something grimdark fics. Possibly some kind of challenge to have excessive amounts of blood in a story that was nevertheless not gory. It was very topical and hilarious back then, just trust me. As for the story itself, it’s kind of incredible watching these mistakes build and build to put Fluttershy into the situation she’s in at the start of the story. And while the “Fluttershy reminds herself piecemeal what led to this moment” structure is pretty hokey, it also helps keep things moving along at a decent pace. Mostly, it’s just goofy fun that does succeed in being a blood-soaked story that’s nevertheless lighthearted.
Recommended
Hell Hath No Fury by Aquaman
Genre: Dark Comedy
Speaking of classic fics starring Fluttershy. If you can accept the idea that A) Fluttershy was dating Cherry Coke (I believe his official name these days is Cherry Fizzy), B) he cheated on her, C) this made her a little upset, and D) she overreacted, then you are in for quite the ride. This is how you build a one-joke fic.
Highly Recommended
MLP: Friendship Is Cloptastic by IAMSUPERCRASH
Mature: Sex
Genre: Trollclop
I would just like to point out that this user has one follower, one story, and hasn’t been seen in two years. This sole story has been in my favorites for about as long. Do you have any idea how unlikely that is? Anyway, this is not nearly as funny as I initially thought; it’s obvious my tastes in trolling have changed quite a bit. This is just an attempt to be as disgusting and offensive as possible. That said, it’s one of the few stories whose Cupcakes jokes actually work, and if you read the first two sentences, I almost guarantee you will laugh. Just don’t go too much further than that.
Vaguely Recommended
Rainbow Dash’s Super Fun Adventure in Happy Candy Land by Rex Ivan
Reading by Popoman100
Popoman100, aka NateThePony, is probably the very first fic reader I ever encountered. Aaaand he’s honestly pretty bad. And he has the most annoying NSFW warning sound EVER. But it doesn’t matter, because these days, he only does let’s plays. He also seems to have taken down a lot of his readings, which would explain why I can’t fucking find this one. But it was there. It’s recorded now. We can move on. (Still, he is the reason I found Goris the Deathclaw…)
Genre: Grimdark
Rainbow Dash just hasn’t been herself since she lost her wings.
Yaknow, given the title, I was expecting comedy. But the author swears up and down this isn’t one and, well, it’s not. It reminds me of an image I saw earlier today, and probably means that a couple of my fic ideas are likewise doomed. Anyway, by mashing a bunch of tropes together, this becomes not much more than that, a bunch of tired tropes. That said, if you like existential fridge horror, it’s worth pushing through the Tyrantlestia and Scootabuse to get to the end, where all the tropes are pulled together into something like a worthwhile story. Not to mention the part where Celestia shows up is so wacky it’s legitimately funny. This is apparently the third time I’ve read this story, and while I agree the ending makes it work, the trip there isn’t going to be worth it for everyone.
Recommended for Horror Fans
Happily Ever After by Benman
Genre: Horror
Shining Armor is willing to do anything to save his marriage.
So this is another excellent story about married ponies falling out of love, hitting that stage in their relationship where the spark is gone and nothing’s exciting. Unlike similar stories where the ponies stew in solitude or seek counseling or something, this one remembers that these are magical ponies in magical pony world, and there’s nothing a little magic can’t fix. Not to give too much away, but this very effectively uses something that I really hate to create some wonderful horror. Just one little decision, and the emotional burden shifts from one to the other. This is really something.
Highly Recommended
Twilight Sparkle and the Quest for Anatomical Accuracy by Bad Horse
Mature: Sex
Genre: Sexual Comedy
Twilight asks Celestia about some anatomical discrepancies
This story is based on the same kind of hilariously extremist Tyrantlestia as Rainbow Dash’s Super Fun Adventure in Happy Candy Land; the difference, I think, is that this is supposed to be a comedy, so it’s easier to buy. Also, this is really darned funny because it’s absolutely not about what you think it’s about, and not in the way you don’t think it’s about what you… don’t… don’t think… This is getting confusing. c.c Anyway, worth turning your Mature filters off for, as there’s nothing explicit.
Highly Recommended
Body of Work by TheGreyPotter
Genre: Horror
In an unused part of the Libraries of Canterlot, Twilight Sparkle has found a body. Her own.
This one was from an old Nightmare Night-themed writing contest on EQD, and once I’d reread the description, the story sprang fresh to my mind. And it’s kind of amazing that a reader can be told “This is a story where Twilight finds her own body somewhere” and that’s not the creepiest thing about it. This uses uncertainty to paint an unsettling atmosphere; creaks and groans are one thing, but things not staying where you left them is really freaky. The overall effect is, well, something out of the SCP Foundation tales. Small criticisms: frequent use of ‘thumb’ as a verb, a couple tense shifts, and in-text links to a Wikipedia article. I think those are meant to cite what’s being paraphrased, but honestly, they could have gone at the end of the story. Still not enough to dampen my appreciation for this story. Horror fans, make sure you read this one!
Highly Recommended
In Another Castle by Vimbert the Unimpressive
Reading by Vigilant Watch, Jen and Rina-chan
Dang, I’m finding all the old readers this way. This is part of the first episode of Everfree Network’s Reading Rainboom segment, which… Honestly, I don’t know if there are any more, and given that this video is unlisted, I probably won’t find out unless I happen across the other stories they did. Anyway, this was pretty good, it’s just weird that there’s four stories in a single reading. And one of them is Pinkie Watches Paint Dry!
Genre: Slice of Life
For some reason, Rarity just doesn’t want to deal with Spike today.
Well, I know why this is on my favorites list: it’s a categorical rejection of Sparity shipping. Sadly, as much as I appreciate that, there’s more or less nothing else here. It also feels stuck in its time, which is to say shortly after Dragon Quest. So while not bad — if you’ve ever wanted to see Rarity let Spike down gently, this is the story for you — I’m not sure what appeal it will have these days.
Recommended If You Don’t Like Sparity
A Simpler Time by DJLowrider
Reading by Everfree Network???
Actual Reading by Nightfire5150
Genre: Cute
A chance encounter leads Twilight to discover a closer bond to one of her friends.
I guess this one came from Reading Rainboom too, so I’ll just have to fake it. <.< Anyway. This is one of those “novelized comic” stories, based on that thing… Well, just look at the cover art. That, in turn, is based on something that originally had dogs instead of ponies. Somehow, it works. It probably helps that the story uses the comic as a starting place (well, a goal), and builds a narrative around it. Also, it’s cute as shit. It’s not perfect — in particular, the flashback suffers from POV switching, though I suppose it could be justified — but it’s definitely far more worthwhile than most “story’s in the cover art” fics, and quite the feel-good read.
Recommended
The Big Rush by Lucres
Genre: What If
She hasn’t gotten her cutie in mark in six months, when most get it inside one. So why is Pinkie still working at Griff’s restaurant?
The main thing to know about this is that it’s pre-Cutie Mark Chronicles background for Pinkie Pie, and it is really, really unique. It’s also really weird, being so old; there is, for instance, nothing non-canonical about the word “French”, so why wouldn’t you see “Spanish” and “English” in a story too? Griff, our main character, is perhaps a Gordon Ramsay pastiche, but it’s quite likely that his hard swearing (another thing about this piece that’s very weird) is just indicative of the profession. It’s the realism of that profession that makes this story pop; you really feel like you’re in a five-star kitchen alongside these hard-working chefs. The setting might actually overshadow the plot a bit: Pinkie’s something of an afterthought after the titular rush (and her motivation is at least the third weird thing), but there’s a real earnestness here, and for all that it’s no longer in line with canon, it’s a really good “what if?”
Recommended
Socks by Amit
Reading by Cerulean Rush
Genre: Surreal
Luna puts on some socks.
Uh. So. This story has a sentence in the middle. That sentence is 969 words long, by my count. The entire story is just over 1300. And yet, this is done to make a point, and it kind of works. I won’t blame you if the wall of text is too much to deal with, however. That’s about all there is to this, though, aside from some other early-fandom tropes by which I mean an abacus. That’s just the way Amit’s stories roll, I guess.
Recommended If You Like Weird Stuff
OH JESUS! by Chuckward
Genre: Trollfic
Jesus gets sent to Equestria, where he punches a bunch of ponies.
I was going to DNF, and then a Roman told Jesus, “Can’t let you do that, Starfox,” and I had an inkling of why this was on my favorites list. But yeah, this is a combination of “lol random” and “really edgy” that doesn’t sit well with me anymore. Also, it’s got fucking wolf squids in it and those were never funny. Could be worth a chuckle if you’re like fifteen.
Not Recommended
The Lejendary Lejend of Masterroxxor by The Madman
Genre: Badfic
If you have ever submitted a story to Seattle’s Angels, you will understand. What’s really funny about this is that the writing seems to break down only when Masterroxxor is “on screen”. I’ve read a lot of badfics since this one, though, so it’s not, like, super-tickling my funnybone (minus one line in chapter 4). Still good for a few laughs, I guess.
Troll Recommended
Pinkie Gets Wet by DontWannaKnow
Sequel to A Fun Day
Genre: Trollfic
I was equal parts surprised and confused to see that this was related to another DontWannaKnow fic that I reviewed last year and claimed was not worth reading. But I have to admit, this is the kind of string-of-non-sequiturs trollfic I tend to write myself, so no wonder I liked it once upon a time. There’s a lot of rap battles and Mortal Kombat and lots of Beck references and making fun of characters in the narration. I like that last part. ._. But seriously, what in the fuck?
Troll Recommended
Bearded Lust 2: The Re-Beardening by Arcainum
Mature: Sex
Genre: What
WHat
This is the other kind of trollfic I tend to write: ponies misspeak and reality changes to suit their words. In this case, uh, Rarity (et. al.) gets plowed by Futalestia. There’s a beard involved. Also a map of Equestria in an unexpected location. Also, there’s no Bearded Lust 1. But yeah, this is some of the most epically hilarious ponysex I’ve ever read. The turns of phrase are just too much. This probably isn’t worth turning your Mature filters off for… If you’re a weenie. :V
Recommended
Mayor on Mare by EbonMane
Genre: Comedy
Twilight testifies in court about Mayor Mare’s inappropriate behavior.
Fuck me, it’s story number eighty-eight. A note: this has a link to a GDoc with ‘proper’ formatting, and while that makes it look more official, it’s no more or less easy to read, so go with what you will. So the first joke is that Mayor Mare was coming onto Twilight in numerous, very less-than-professional ways. This is funny. The second joke is that the court stenographer has had it with this shit and is outie. This is hilarious. The ending might let the wind out of some readers’ sails, as it assumes a lot, but this is a solidly season one fic, and that kind of thing was commonplace. If you’re averse to shipping, don’t let the Romance tag turn you off; there really isn’t any. Just good, clean courtroom humor.
Recommended
Fluttershy Kicks a Puppy by bats
Genre: Character Piece
And has to live with it.
This is a really surprising story. You’d expect from the title it was a comedy, and the opening scene does have something of the tragicomedic to it. But from there, it turns into a deep, melancholic look into Fluttershy’s fears, before coming heartwarming and ending on a truly funny note. Well, if you’re into schadenfreude, it’s funny. But yes, this is both surprising and well-crafted. My only complaint would be that it seems like a great deal more time passes between the first and third scenes than the narrative suggests. Other than that, be sure to read this if you haven’t already.
Recommended
I Wrote This at 5 in the Morning Because I Couldn’t Sleep by shortskirtsandexplosions
Reading by Stephen Caroe
Genre: Friendshipping
Everything Rainbow Dash had worked for was for nothing. Good thing she’s got friends to lean on.
This story is very, very keen on making sure you know how sad Rainbow Dash is. And for that, it drags quite a bit; it’s not one of skirts’s best. That said, everything hinges on the significance of a single action, and that significance is balanced and weighted perfectly, without even a hint of telling. It’s kind of amazing how well it works. The ending’s fantastic. So if you don’t mind trudging through a thousand or so words of Rainbow being mopey, stick around for the finale, and you’ll find yourself rewarded.
Recommended
Twilight Discovers Shit by Fiddlebottoms
Sequel to Luna Shoves a Cell Phone Up Her Plot
Mature
Genre: Trollfic
For the second time this journal, I find myself reading a favorited sequel to a story I didn’t exactly enjoy. Yeah, uh, so Twilight gets sucked into Luna’s butt while searching for the cell phone(s) lost in the previous story. After a lot of honestly laugh-inducing banter. Mostly, I just don’t even. Quite a unique fic, and better than its predecessor, at least!
Troll Recommended
The Conversion Bureau: The End by midnightshadow
Genre: Conversion Bureau
The Human Liberation Front is jubilant. The last Conversion Bureau has closed. The end has finally come.
A fitting title for the final review of this series! This wasn’t the fic I was thinking of; midnightshadow also wrote that one. Hopefully I can find it. Meanwhile, here’s some good sci-fi, putting a chilling spin on the fates of those left behind after Equestria is done converting humans. Some readers may be turned off by the anti-religious screed, but then some have praised it for being just the opposite. Either way, it’s an unusual piece of TCB lore, and worth checking out if you want to dip your toe in.
Recommended
You fickle horse
That said, at least SOMEpony cares about the freaking Zecora Test. I write entire books with multiple zebra characters and sweat for hours over it, not to mention the peculiar metrical habits of Kirin and the secret messages, and the idea that somebody, somewhere, actually cares about not fucking up rhyme and meter… it fills me with gratitude
Aaaand, my TBR list grows larger. *sigh*
Fluttershy Gets a Paper Cut damn near killed me. Not because of what it is, but because of what it caused me to do; imagine in vivid visual detail exactly how Fluts (and everypony else) would react to that situation in-show. Damn near had an aneurysm.
I need something to balance out the news of there being no M. A. Larson episodes in S6 (possibly ever), so a couple of really ancient stories seem like just the ticket. Aquaman's looks about the right level for me at the moment -- I can't believe any of those things you mentioned, but I don't actually care so will read it anyway.
I'll console myself with all the wonderful recommendations. Starting with Bad Horse's, I think.
Happily Ever After is one of my favorite stories on this site!
3808402
Braiding was literally going to be #3000 but then Lost got sick and I needed an excuse to post today. :B Hopefully it is a worthy sacrifice.
(Sweet Escape is pretty great though, no lie.)
3808414
It's all good!
Rediscovered one story so far that I read before I even started writing fanfiction, thanks to this special edition.
What's the Luna test about?
Oh you mean this two lines?
I'm sensing we are not quite done with the excrement stories yet are we?
Don't be so sure about that, any premise can be turned into a worthy piece of literature if employed by an skillful or experienced enough author. Just run any title by me or Admiral Biscuit, we are sure to be able to conceive at least a couple of approaches to tackle the concept on the spot.
3808421
Oh Admiral Biscuit, who wrote "The longest sentence" should be mad to hear this.
I wouldn't know...
~Leonzilla
3808246 Is the Zebra test somehow related to the Luna test?
3808338 This is first I hear of this. Did he opted out of further writing for MLP or did they kick him out the staff?
~Leonzilla
3808725
Larson? Oh, surely they kicked him off. I mean, would you want that lunatic writing stories for your show and turning everypony into an autographed alicorn?
Real answer: he tweeted last night saying "Amending Fences" was his last involvement with the show. (No, pedants, you're right: he didn't mention movies!) He does have his own books (eg Pennyroyal Academy) to work on now, and probably other stuff too. He didn't write for S4 either, so it's conceivable he'll be back if/when there's a seventh season, but I think I'd bet against it.
3808716
The Luna test is proper use of Early Modern English. Using "thee" as subject, "thou" as object and "thy" as possessive is considerably beyond the grasp of many writers, to say nothing of verb conjugation. <.<
3808813 I see, would be sad to see him go with him being a favorite among the writing department and all. Wonder if someone will be able to seize a more complete answer as to this episode. Whether online or at a convention.
Although... This is M. A. Larson we are talking about, I wouldn't put it past him that this is all a joke.
This is the reason why I wonder whether they kick him out or not...
Then again maybe he had just already decided to quit a year ago and just now he saw it was time to let everyone know.
3808865 XD The skill to write old English is about as rare as the skill of writing with an accent.
Thanks for clearing that bit.
~Leonzilla
Shame on you, turning to crime just to assist the sick. Shame. Also shame on you for adding more things to my to-read lists. I was just starting to get the numbers on one of those to go down!
Not supposed to link to Mature stories in a blogpost. Mostly because if someone has the mature filter on and goes to a mature story, it turns their mature filter off. Or so I suspect the reasoning goes.
3808865
3809079
I think you mean "thou" as subject and "thee" as object.
Yes, it does seem beyond most writers.
3809550
UGH, WHATEVER D:<
3809547
What? :O
I have never experienced my mature filter to spontaneously turn itself on or off. If my mature filter is on I can still see the comments of mature stories but the stories themselves remain hidden unless I tell the page to show them to me.
If what you are saying its true then that would mean that the mature filter isn't working the way it's intend to. That sounds like something knighty would want to be aware of immediately.
~Leonzilla
3809665
Really? Huh. Weird. I'll have to double-check. It did that for me once or twice, but that was months and months (like a year) ago.
I'll have to see if I can duplicate it. Now I'm baffled why you can't link to mature stories on the site from blogs unless the blog is tagged with a mature story.
3809948
Me too, which is why I do it. If going to a mature story turns off your mature filter, then that's not much of a filter, is it? I actually started not linking to mature readings, since there's no such protection and I feel that's what the rules are in place for.
OH JESUS! is an early chuckward masterpiece, but it has not aged well at all. I read it first when I was 14, and now, four years later, I have to agree with your assessment. The good thing about chuckward is that his fics just keep getting funnier and funnier as time goes on.
3811214
Amazing what a difference four years makes, yeah?
3811216 I'll say, back in 2012 my writing was abysmal. I mean, it's hardly improved, but I do feel comfortable not calling it "Abysmal", at least.