• Member Since 4th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Saturday

SvenFoxx


More Blog Posts134

  • 60 weeks
    Potentially The End

    Due to the suddenly VERY uncertain landscape that TTRPGs have been dropped into thanks to Wizards of The Coast and Hasbro, I am now faced with a problem.

    For those of you who don't really pay attention to the world of Dungeons and Dragons, something of a war has begun. It is the fans vs. D&D owner and creator, Wizards of the Coast and, by proxy, Hasbro.

    The cause for the war?

    Read More

    8 comments · 397 views
  • 119 weeks
    To the Surface!

    Alright, I've been gone a long while. For the most part anyways. COVID... did not do me or mine any favors. Life got hard after it came in, and now I'm on my own.

    Read More

    2 comments · 288 views
  • 143 weeks
    WWII

    I have received a number of comments since the posting of Chapter 5 of Tartarus Forged. Most of those comments were respectful in asking why I would reference the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki like I did, and I thank you for that tact, but some of you... were not.

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    4 comments · 529 views
  • 222 weeks
    Happy Holidays!

    Ladies. Gentleman.

    Non-binary entities.

    The end of the decade is upon us. I encourage you to dig through the last ten yours of this site, the stories you read, the stories you wrote. Laugh at your mistakes. Cheer at you accomplishments.

    Read More

    1 comments · 387 views
  • 223 weeks
    It Started With An Idea

    This is something that I've had running around my head for the last month or so. It's not something overly complicated, but about half-way through writing down this synopsis, I realized this had more potential than as just a fan-fic story. Alter a few key facts, such as ponies being involved... and I may have something I could genuinely turn into a book to one day be published.

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    5 comments · 330 views
Mar
11th
2016

The Harmony League - I could really use some help... Please? · 11:16pm Mar 11th, 2016

WARNING!!!

What follows after this paragraph are spoilers for chapter nine! I am posting this blog because I'm stuck and want some help from those who are willing to help. If you'd prefer to read the story only and not get early spoilers, then exit this blog post and wait for the next update.

You have been warned.

SBSBSB

So, I started the recent chapter at the hospital, with Twilight waking up. She's asked how she feels, she admits to being very tired and sore in her side. Twilight realizes she can't feel her magic, tries to connect to it, and Rarity stops her. Rarity asks what she remembers. Twilight remembers being attacked, and jack-hammering the blue dragon into the ground, sharp and agonizing pain, but nothing past that.

Luna explains that she had been stabbed by an enchanted dagger, and explains what the dagger did to her, as well as the fact that they were forced to siphon off her magic to slow it's progression. It's still happening, but now at a manageable rate. To prevent an adrenaline rush-like effect with her magic since it was so low, they also used a suppression ring to cut her off from her magic.

I wanted to take this moment to do a little more world building regarding Dragons, specifically how their magic is focused on fourteen core beliefs. Corrupt beliefs, which I alluded to in chapter eight, and pure beliefs. Faith, Hope, Charity, Fortitude, Justice, Prudence, and Temperance. Each belief that the dragon follows influences their magic, and sometimes their mind and body.

This is where I'm having trouble. I feel like I'm spending too much time on this part, but I don't want to just cut out and go to Spike and Pinkie without fully explaining this. Plus, I keep winding up with large walls of text when I get into describing it, and that's giving me issues. I don't like doing that, as it makes it difficult to keep track of where you are when reading.

So... ideas?

Comments ( 9 )

Well, seeing as you're looking for some help, I guess I'll give this advice thing a shot.

World building is certainly very important when you are trying to establish a background and foundation for a story. I certainly don't think you should just skip it. I'd like to know though, in what context does this dragon belief system discussion come up? Is Luna explaining/trying to explain the Dragons' motivations to Twilight or something? Is she trying to give everyone a better understanding of dragon culture?

If you feel that you are bogging down the story with your explanation, perhaps you can just slim it down to the very basics, and begin exploring the different aspects of this belief system in oncoming chapters, or perhaps you can divide the conversation over a few chapters, where Luna is explaining, but then it cuts away to Pinkie and Spike, and the continuation of Luna's conversation is in the next chapter, etc. However, I don't know how long you plan on making this arc, so that might not be feasible.

Give me a better idea of what you have/what you plan so far. Perhaps move to PM if you really want to keep everything you have so far private.

3803549 Basically, Twilight asked what the dagger did to her to put her down so hard, and Luna begins explaining dragon magic and how it could, in a way, be compared to alchemy. She has to explain this before she explains that it was Wrath magic, mixed with other belief magics they've yet to identify in the dagger, that led to the poison effect on her body. My issue is, as I said, making it more compact and not as exposition heavy.

3803588
Hmmm... like I said, perhaps just go over the very basics, summarize it so that the others (if they are still present) could understand it. Just say what all of the types of belief are, but only go into the ones that are relevant at the moment. I don't think you have to explain every single little detail at the moment.

If you want, I can take a look at what you have now/the material you plan on explaining, and attempt to have a go at making a compact explanation. Of course, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I'll definitely give it a go if you are willing. My writing skills are admittedly rusty, but I think I can manage something. Even if you don't use it, you can probably use it as an inspiration I suppose.

3803630 Sure. Gimme a minute and I'll send it over in a note.

3803672
Alrighty thanks. I'll try to get back to you sometime later tonight or perhaps tomorrow. I'm going out for dinner in a bit, and may have to do other minor things. Either way, hope this turns out to be the type of boost you needed.

Ok after checking all the comments so far my recommendation would be to cover the wrath part in chapter. You then can have future chapters of Twilight teaching Spike about Dragon magic (one chapter per part) to fill in the blanks. Gets development for Spike and can give you a filler chapter when necessary.

3803811 Nothing wrong with a safety net in case of writer's block. Cyberfire22's going over what I've got written up so far, so I'll toss that idea to him when he gets back to me. Maybe we can work something out.

Thanks!

3804042

Just remember these wise words.

Remember, I'm pullin' for ya. We're all in this together.
Red Green

3804094 That... Wow, I'm touched. Thank you.

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