Help! My Heart is Full of Pony! - Birthdays · 4:51pm Mar 10th, 2016
Birthdays are weird. When you're a child, you feel like you've leveled up – actually achieved something. Why shouldn't you? Age is a huge part of a kid's identity after all. Furthermore, if everything lines up just right, others acknowledge that achievement too. Parties at school. Gifts. Wishes. You feel special.
My Little Pony does a great job of capturing that. Two words: Pinkie parties.
The thing is: that feeling goes away when you get older, at least for most folks. I don't hate my birthday like some people do. I don't love it. It's just another day.
I appreciate the well-wishes from friends on Facebook, and gifts from friends and family, and they certainly make me feel good. However, I personally don't attach an awful lot of importance to the date.
Anyway, as the day approached, I did a lot of thinking about that missing touch of magic, and pony gave me something to compare that feeling to. "Pinkie Pride" can have me in tears for almost 10 minutes straight, but the moment the giant inflatable Rainbow Dash comes out, and Make a Wish starts playing, I no longer feel particularly connected. A good friend of mine remixed the song a few years back, and used it to actually address the existential issues of adult birthdays, and I too, can go on at length on the subject. However, that's not why I'm writing this.
Earlier today, as I was getting ready for work, my daughter came up to me and said, "It's your birthday, isn't it?" I told her that it was. Then she gave me one of the best hugs I've ever received.
I felt the magic. Like a Pinkie party in my heart, it was transformative. After that, the well-wishes and such felt not only the usual kind of good, but great. That birthday magic I was looking for may no longer feel like leveling up - like a grand achievement - but life on this planet is short, and moments of joy are precious and fleeting, and worth celebrating. If you think of a birthday as a celebration of a number, then each one will only become less special than the last. If you think of it as a celebration of your friends, and of your family, and an opportunity to reflect on what you have to be grateful for, then a kind sentiment from a loved one can be your confetti. A hug can be your party cannon.
-Sprocket
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That was a very nice explanation of how a lot of birthdays are. For me I don't think I'll ever celebrate another one as it is really close to a personal tragedy that just passed , but the fact that people do care enough to at least wish me a happy birthday is nice.
I'm glad that you felt such joy and I'm somewhat jealous, though I'll never have kids myself unless I adopt.
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So sorry to hear of your tragedy.
As for kids, they're my stepkids. I never planned to be a parent - never wanted to. I fell in love with a woman with children, and her kids became my kids, and took over my whole world. It all sort of took me by surprise.
Don't feel bad. Just because you can't make babies doesn't mean you can't have kids. If you do adopt, as long as you have love to give, it's every bit as real, and as rewarding as procreation.
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Thank you. Your kind words mean a lot to me.