Made some slight improvements to Chapter 1

I was reading the first chapter of "Journeys and Destinations: A Friendship for Eternity" again because of its anniversary and discovered that there are still a couple mistakes in it.
I went over them now, fixed them and improved the chapter a little. I figured it would be appropriate today, on the anniversary, to give it a little makeover.
The changes are nothing major; just a few replaced words, removed a comma that was too much and rearranged one or two sentences.
But it's smoother to read now, so I thought I let you know.

Comments

[Olden Bronie]

Hi! I just read 'Journeys and Destinations' last night. I was pretty impressed with the idea and I'm looking forward to reading more.

I liked the motivation of the Crusaders to want to remain together as much and as long as possible before they got their marks. I suppose thinking that one won't share a life with your friends after basically growing up would be rather disheartening. And going on a grand adventure in search of those marks would be very memorable. I thought you portrayed Applejack very well. Out of all the elders she is the most likely to get upset over a family member leaving and to worry about them. And she doesn't always handle it well! That was very well done in your writing. Granny Smith was good as well, being the voice of reason and knowing that an adventure is good for the soul whether you accomplish the goal or not...you always learn something, especially about yourself!

You can tell you really enjoy these characters and I hope you continue to explore more of their personalities. Good luck!

[Fluttercheer]

3789970

Already impressed? That's flattering.
I haven't even really started it yet with all the ideas I got for it!

Out of all the elders she is the most likely to get upset over a family member leaving and to worry about them.

Yep, especially if it's Applebloom. I really brought in her overprotectiveness here that we saw in "Somepony to Watch Over Me", even though these events will never happen in the universe of this story.

I can't really tell how I came to it to let Granny Smith be the voice of reason. We actually never saw her in a situation like this, but something about her is it that told me she would react in this exact way if what I wrote here would happen.
It's something I could feel while writing the chapter.

You can tell you really enjoy these characters and I hope you continue to explore more of their personalities. Good luck!

Thanks!

Yes, their personalities will be explored a lot more. Especially how their personalities change because of the experiences they make during the journey.....
It's something I'm a bit nervous about, that I could screw up their personalities and not make the changes of them believable, but I will be doing my best to write everything realistically.

[Fluttercheer]

3789970

I really brought in her overprotectiveness here that we saw in "Somepony to Watch Over Me", even though these events will never happen in the universe of this story.

Whoops, I'm so much Derpy lately. Forget that sentence.
I completely forgot when writing it that I have actually set the story shortly after the events we saw in that episode when I wrote Chapter 2 with Applejack talking about the chimera. How embarrassing to forget a detail of my own story.