May the muffins be forever in your favour.It's been two years..... · 11:05pm Mar 2nd, 2016
Today, it's exactly two years ago that I finished the first chapter of "Journeys and Destinations: A Friendship for Eternity", my first Cutie Mark Crusaders fanfiction, and that I sent it in to Equestria Daily for the Writer's Training Grounds for "Twilight Time".
And since then, I barely continued it, despite how much this story means to me.
This story has gone through some really crazy times.
I started it during Season 4 and after the first chapter was out and barely sent to EQD in time before the deadline was crossed, Season 4 and the influx of fanwork for the new episodes didn't leave me time to continue it.
I had planned to continue writing on it once Season 4 was over and it was supposed to get a lot of chapters in the hiatus. I even was sure I would finish it in this, my very first, hiatus.
But then, depressions hit me, as the hiatus was way harder for me than I ever thought it would be, and those depressions screwed with my time management skills so much that I couldn't get around to writing on it or to write anything at all in addition to the other things I wanted to do. The only stories I managed to write in this time period were during the NaPoWriMo, where I even astounded myself with how much I was able to put out in just one month, which was only possible because I did nothing else than writing in this month.
But after it, I returned to the state I was in before and once again, I didn't get anything done. It stayed like this for the rest of the hiatus.
Then Season 5 came and I was once again distracted by the new episodes and the fanwork based on them. I was also so relieved that MLP: FiM was finally back that I didn't even think about writing for "Journeys and Destinations".
And if I wrote something, then it was for one of the new episodes. I even started a multi-chapter one with "Filed Away", even though I had "Journeys and Destinations" always planned to be my first multi-chapter fic with which I learn how to write one properly and to not write any other multi-chapter fics until this one was finished. I was too excited for the idea I got, so I forgot this intent for a moment.
This time of the first half of Season 5 was kind of my curing period for all the hard stuff I went through in the hiatus.
The mini hiatus after the first half of Season 5 brought me back a little in the state I was in between Season 4 and Season 5 and I let myself go again.
The second half of Season 5 was as usual and that I started to draw more left me even less time for "Journeys and Destinations".
But I did manage it to finally write Chapter 2 and to lay out the course of the story, with lots of ideas for it and room for more, shortly before the end of Season 5.
I was convinced I would be able to aquire a healthy schedule for continuing the story now, but then the moving stress started.
I had to move back all of my furniture and things into my room, after moving them out of there because my renter wanted the room getting renovated awfully early while I was still living there.
I was constantly busy with searching for a new room to find a new place to live and once I had found one, I was busy with moving preparations. Additionally, I was constantly nervous and agitated in this time period because of all of the moving stress and this didn't left me with enough concentration to write something.
When I then moved into my new room on January 7th things could have started to look up, but they didn't and it just got worse as my new renter and roommate turned out as a drunken bastard who threatened to kill me, with a gun in his room and enough lost brain cells to use it too, right on the very first day. So I had to move out again and was once again searching for a new place.
I barely spent time in this apartment, mostly just went there to shower and to sleep at night after the local McDonalds restaurant I spent most of the day in had closed. Writing during this time was unthinkable.
I found another place and moved in there not even two weeks later and I'm since then recovering from these experiences and trying to get my life back to the order and structure it had before.
And now it's two years since I started this story and it's still stuck at the beginning, while it should be finished already for a long time now.
So many things happened that prevented me from continuing it for such a long time and while I know that none of it was my fault, I still feel like I betrayed this story and like I betrayed Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle with neglecting it for so long.
And yet, I can't let this story go and have to stick to my original plan with it, in hope I can at least partially make up for the long neglect.....
The good news is, I have recovered well in the time since I moved in where I currently live and I started to feel more secure in managing my time again, so I should be able to continue it soon.
The bad news is, I have recently discovered that the quality of my writing has taken a dive after the end of NaPoWriMo 2014 and before I can continue with writing, I need to get to the bottom of this and find out what's caused it, when it happened exactly and what I'm doing wrong now that I didn't do wrong before. Which will take some time.....
The only thing I can really do to find out all of this is to recap all of my past writing experience since I wrote my first fic "The Best Present She Could Wish For" by reading all of my fics again and put into context how my writing evolved (or regressed) with that.
This is the only way I can find out where everything went downhill and what mistakes I began to make that made everything that I wrote since "Picking Up The Pieces" just not as good anymore as I could have written it and far below the quality of my fics that I wrote for NaPoWriMo 2014.
How long this will take exactly is something I can't tell and I want to be careful with giving an estimation for it when the next chapter will be out, but I don't have the feeling that it will take longer than over the next few weeks.
I realized that I didn't feel so confident in my writing since I wrote "Picking Up The Pieces" but lately, I feel that confidence returning and once I have found out where the problem with my writing lies lately, I know I can make "Journeys and Destinations: A Friendship for Eternity" great and give it the quality that the best little fillies deserve.
I know I'll be able to do that.
If anyone is still reading the story and waiting for updates and new chapters after this terribly long time, I promise you that the story will get continued in a reasonable amount of time from now.
And I promise it will be a grand adventure with lots of epicness and depth.
The universe is against it that I continue this story, but I will, because it means a lot to me, and even the universe can't stop me in this endeavor.
Please continue waiting for updates. They will come!
All things happen for a reason, you know. It is sometimes difficult to know or accept when it is happening and all things seem to be against the way you want them to go. Try not to worry about self imposed deadlines or what others may think. You have a grand idea for a story that you wish to share...write it! Let the experiences in the past months give you inspiration and drive to tell the tale in the way you want. As I've counseled a few others, it doesn't matter if your story is canon or not; if the story is good then it will bring readers to it.
You are moving in the right direction, I think, by reviewing your other stories. They can provide you with additional inspiration and ideas, as well as encourage your abilities. You are a good writer with great ideas and potential. Keep going, take your time and try not to strees your self....we'll wait for you. We know it will be worth it!
Good luck and know Luna is here for you. Me, too.
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That's actually something I'm believing too; that everything happens for a reason and that even the bad events in your life can have some value, which is why I keep mementos even from occurences in my life that weren't so pretty.
But sometimes things happen where you really think what purpose they should serve. Or if they serve any purpose at all and if if it's not just Discord trolling you.....
I don't even have deadlines, usually. The only deadlines I had so far where when I submitted a fic for the WTGs of Equestria Daily or during the NaPoWriMo 2014 because of my goal there.
Other than that, I write when I have time. And this is the problem.
Usually I manage to plan my day very good, to get all what I want to do into those 24 hours. And I would have managed so with "Journeys and Destinations: A Friendship for Eternity", with my plans to continue it in the great hiatus between Season 4 and Season 5, but then unexpected things happened when I wanted to do that.
And then unexpected things happened AGAIN when I wanted to continue it.
It's no deadline problem, just the universe throwing obstacles at me to sabotage the story.
Inspirations and ideas for the story are enough there. I can't go into detail about that, because of spoilers.....
But they are plenty. Inspirations and ideas are the least of my worries.
Getting them down on the paper, that was the problem so far, when things kept going in the way.
Oh, there's going to be lots of stuff in the story that isn't canon, so much I can say. It will divert from canon quickly. In fact, it already did, because Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle never made plans for such a journey and are still in Ponyville.
And there's more to come, much more.
I'm not worried about sticking to canon.
But that's important indeed and the purpose behind reading them all again. At some point after the NaPoWriMo 2014, something happened that kicked my writing skills down and I must find out when it happened and what it did exactly, so that I can reverse that and get back on my NaPoWriMo level.
And I can't wait to do that.
I'm brimming with ideas for the story and if I wouldn't have this strange writing problem currently, I would probably start the next chapter right NOW.
Dang. That sucks but I'm glad that things are getting better. I've had to deal with depression before and one thing that I have learned that it s just a feeling and not reality. I've also had dips in writing but I do the same thing in going over old material. Sometimes like say I'm writing a medieval fantasy I'm go watch The Lord of the Rings or Narnia. It will get me excited about the subject and help inspire me. Other times I just have to make myself start writing and once I really get going the story falls into place. If I only wrote when I felt good or felt like it I would rarely write.
I do also believe that things happen for a reason some of the worst times in my life were the best times or it shaped me for a purpose and for for the better.
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I have also learned in the meanwhile that depressions are just a feeling. A feeling that must only be endured until it's gone again.
That pragmatic view helps a lot.
That's right. Sometimes it's just necessary to push yourself and write anyway even if you don't feel good, otherwise, you will never be a really good writer and never accomplish as much as you could as a writer.
One certain author here on FIMFiction.net could really use this advice.....
Me too, but as I said, I really have problems to see what purpose that should be for everything that went down in the last months.
All this stuff with that sick guy just slowed me down. All it essentially did was stealing me two months of my life.
But I can't change anymore what happened and looking back just makes matters worse, so the only thing I can do is forget it and look forward.
3799464 That was the biggest trap for me and probably others, looking at depression or bad situations as if they would last forever. When your in the moment it's hard to see beyond it but after going though some difficulties I realized that no matter how bad it will pass and there will be good times ahead.