• Member Since 4th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday

chillbook1


Goodbye and Goodnight. Bang! | Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/chillybook

More Blog Posts274

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  • 25 weeks
    EWF: Nightmare Night

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Feb
29th
2016

Some Personal Stuff · 11:43pm Feb 29th, 2016

Hey, guys. It's been a bit since my last real blog post unless you count the one where I started spewing my stream of thoughts about the show. Otherwise, I've been laying relatively low. The point of this post is mostly to talk about some stuff that's been bugging me. If you expected jokes and light-hearted discussion, I suggest you leave now. If you're cool with something a little more serious, then here we go.

My mom has Multiple Sclerosis. If you're like most people I know, who have heard the name but have no godly idea what that means, it's basically a disorder in which the covers of nerve cells in the brain and spine become damaged. This severely limits the afflicted's ability to do simple things like walk and speak. She's been getting progressively worse as the years pass by, and she doesn't really seem to be getting much better. MS is normally nonfatal, but the doctors think that she might be in that small percentage of mortalities. Long story short, it's not looking good. She's not responding very well to her typical medications, so we're trying something a bit more drastic.

Now, I'm not going to pretend I understand exactly what's about to happen. I think I'd be far too terrified of the truth to function properly. All I know is that she's leaving on Monday to undergo a week-long infusion of some magical MS elixir that should bring her symptoms down considerably. But... The infusion could seriously hurt, or even kill her if she doesn't react to it well. They say that the possibility of that is relatively low, but not impossible or even extremely uncommon. I might lose my mom this week, and I don't really know how to deal with that. I'm taking it well, I think, if for only the fact that I'm not currently breaking down in tears. Still... I'm really, really scared of what might happen next.

I don't want my mom to die. I want her to be there to see me grow up and make something of myself. I want to make her proud some more, to share with her my hypothetical novel. Even if this infusion thing goes perfectly, she might not make it long enough to read my book, or see me get married (again, hypothetically) or meet her grandkids. Everything I know about life, I learned from this woman. Flaws and all, she's helped me grow in ways that I wish I could explain. Every story I write, in some way or another, I write for her. I can't imagine living without her, and I have no clue what's going to happen to me if she doesn't make it. It's just so scary, guys. I'm starting to freak out.

That's about it. Thanks for reading and helping me get this off my chest. I don't know if I necessarily feel better because of this, but I definitely don't feel worse. Sorry for bumming you guys out, I just needed to talk about this.

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Comments ( 10 )

It'll be fine Chillbook
I will hope for the recovery of his mother
Anything can come to me:pinkiesad2:

3784809 Thanks, Derps. That really helps

3784814I'm glad is helping

Hey buddy, wish I had some inspirational things to tell you about how it's all metaphysically going to be okay, but I'm around if you wanna chat. :heart:

I will give you two tip on how you shall approtch this.

1: Spend as mutch time you can with her now. Speak ing to her and hugs are allso great.

2: whatever you do. Do NOT do what I did when I got to know I whould lose my grandmother. Dont shut your emotions down. I did that I still have dificlt showing emotion. I lost her almost ten yers ago.

If you still feel you nerd a choulder to cry into I am right here.:heart:

3785026 I appreciate it, bro

3785617 You'll be one of the first to know, bud. Thanks.

I don't personally know you, but you've got my prayers and emotional support. I lost my birth father a while back, so if you need support, I'm a PM away. :twilightsmile:

3847419 Thank you, I appreciate the support. You'll be the first to hear if I need a chat.

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