Oh, bother. · 12:50pm Feb 27th, 2016
Real life stuff unrelated to writing. Feel free to skip.
Didn't get to sleep until 4am because of insomnia.
It's hard to tell if the insomnia was caused as a side effect of my new medication which I started 2 days ago, or if it was caused by me checking for side effects.
Let me explain: As I mentioned in a previous post the meds I'm on have some pretty nasty side effects in rare cases. This is the first medication I've been on that carries a black box warning because there's a rare chance of a fatal rash.
Although benign rashes are also caused by LAMICTAL, it is not possible to predict reliably which rashes will prove to be serious or life threatening. Accordingly, LAMICTAL should ordinarily be discontinued at the first sign of rash, unless the rash is clearly not drug related. Discontinuation of treatment may not prevent a rash from becoming life threatening or permanently disabling or disfiguring
Yes, you read that right. In the early stages there's no way to tell if a rash is life-threatening or not.
Now, I don't usually worry a tick about "rare" side effects listed on medication. All medication has the potential to interact badly with someone. The problem is the leaflet says "at the first sign of a rash, no matter how minor contact your doctor immediately." So what happens? You guessed it. Every itch I had last night had me peering under my pyjamas to make sure it really just was a normal itch and not the beginning of something worse. This isn't helped by the fact that sometimes I'll have a small heat rash if I have a hot bath.
Yay. Welcome to the next few weeks of me being paranoid about dying. This drug better be worth it.
Yikes. Maybe you can do some meditation too to help calm you. It would suck to give yourself a rash because you are worried about getting one. I heard of a study once where the rubbed a leaf on people and told them it was poison ivy when it wasn't and some of them got a rash anyway. And some people had contact with a leaf they were told was benign but it actually was poison ivy and some of them didn't get rashes...some still did of course. Anyway, that story always stuck with me as how what we believe could have some influence on our bodies. Keep up the vigilance in checking yourself but I hope you also get time to sit quietly and talk to yourself about how healthy you are and how great your skin looks and feel. I know it sounds a little nutty, but can't hurt :).
Thinking good thoughts for you lovely Woolly!
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Yeah, I know the placebo effect can work both ways. I'm trying to keep an eye on how my itchy skin looks. For example, if I see anything that looks like a hive or a weal I'm definitely contacting my doctor. Dry skin is fine, and an isolated itchy bump from a hot bath is fine but in the middle in of the night when you're trying to sleep with the lights off it's hard to tell.
I also have some other side effects I need to keep an eye on- for example feeling feverish etc. This morning I felt as if I had a sore throat but it seems to have vanished now.
Thank you for the comforting words though. It feels better to talk about it.
Good luck! My dad is a doctor. He's a pediatrician but if you have questions I could always try asking and see what he says.
You're always in my thoughts.
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Thanks. I've got a good support group from mental health professionals- my GP, a psychiatrist and the doctor doing the MRI study on my brain. I don't understand why anyone would to dismantle in the NHS in my country. They are brilliant. If healthcare was private in this country I'd have no chance at treatment.
Breathe
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Feeling a lot better today. Got a good night's sleep and don't feel freaked out like I did yesterday. Also less itchy.
I'm gonna go for a walk near the river today. Hopefully I'll spot some interesting wildlife.