More Dumb · 10:14pm Feb 12th, 2016
In the comedy anime Kaiketsu Zorori, there is a contest for, if I remember correctly, presenting a new invention. Every entry in this contest turns out to be a self-boiling tea kettle. I think this is considered a beginners magic trick in Japan, but how each of them got their kettles to boil was different. One yelled at it, one embarrassed it, one just claimed it was the best thing ever, and when another famous character made a cameo appearance from Captain Frog making a grand speech about saving the day, there was hope for a moment before they too held up a tea kettle and were immediately kicked out of the universe.
I tell you this little story, because it's carrying over to reality in a sorts, or maybe it came from reality and then was put into cartoon – I don't know, but not too long ago I started reading Her Knight in Faded Armor which started out with Princess Luna playing an MMORPG with her friends who don't know it's her. I thought to myself how great of an idea this was, and the best part is that because there is the in game war, the plot could never go to actual war because that would be just silly.
Well, guess what fuckin' happened.
Replace “self-boiling tea kettle” with “pointless war plot” in the above paragraph, and it's easy to see why I am ready to kick someone out of the universe. Let me just jump right to the slap in the face: it's easy to write war because in war lots of mistakes happen, this is because war itself is nothing but a giant mistake. War plots are the low hanging fruit of writing because the author gets to make many mistakes and blame it on the characters, allow themselves to have no idea of what's going on because no one else does, and when they've completely lost the direction of the plot they can just distract themselves and the readers by having a faction fight amongst themselves.
In other words, war is a beginner's trick in writing.
And what's so sad about it is that the story mentioned above, was going somewhere. Luna's reason becoming a hikikomori was because she couldn't stand the pressure of life since coming back to Equestria. I Really wanted to know how that was going to play out, and just maybe... one day... the author will answer that question, but I cannot bring myself to go swimming through the deep end of the cesspool to find out.
“Hey, Peach, are you sure you aren't just being a soft-skinned little bitch?”
Oh, I am sure. I hate gratuitous suffering, and that is no secret, but I keep reading The Book of Friendship which happens during a pointless war, where two ponies see more hatred and murder than they have ever imagined possible. Yet, they do not allow themselves to be defeated by hatred. Stories like this one are beautiful to read and nearly impossible to write, because the author creates great pain in themselves and at the same time offers unconditional forgiveness...
Did you know that “Discord and Harmony” are musical terms? In classical music teachings, every piece of music started with harmony, went into discord (or simply music that doesn't sound right), and then returned to harmony. This empowered the music and made certain harmonies recognizable centuries later. When the music is nothing but harmonies, it is sweet but often forgettable; something you might have in the background like elevator music. When music is nothing but discords, the only moment the listener can enjoy is when it ends – this is how I see war stories. I see the people who read them and worship them as cavemen beating themselves with clubs yelling “Me strong as rock because feel nothing!”
Some famous limestone bust once said that all stories have already been written, and I think he said this to remind authors not to feel embarrassed that their stories are going to share very common themes with other stories. So an author should not feel ashamed to have something bad happen then make it all better or even better than before. But I think someone forgot to tell the wartypists out there about these famous limestone words, because I can feel their embarrassment toward this clichéd writing style and they think themselves doing something more important by writing about war – as if their stories are above such criticisms because “They're saving lives”. *Sigh* Has anyone ever told these pukes that they are also the murderers in their stories? You know a writer can't write both the good guy and the bad guy and claim only responsibility for one of them.
And I think somewhere inside the wartypists know they are being embarrassingly cliché, because they don't openly state that their story is about war, because then people like me could just pass it up as not interesting, no~ they have to PROVE that their war has meaning by surprising the audience, just like Captain Frog had to surprise the audience with his self-boiling tea kettle, even though they had already seen a dozen just a split second before!
“What, so all you want is a nice idealistic sugar bowl with no real substance?!”
War stories take everything bright and beautiful and burn it to ashes. If at the end of the story the best thing the main character(s) has to say is “At least I survived” then it was a song of nothing but discords and the story was a failure. Ideally, I want a story that gives me characters I admire and look up to, I want to learn from a story, I want my time spent reading a story to feel like a worthwhile chapter in my own life, however, if my only other option is an idealistic sugar bowl then, yes: I would rather have a sugar bowl than an ash tray.
I think many of the authors you describe here fit the "How to be a Loser" psychogram from your last post - maybe it also goes deeper, like described in your "Why Humans Suck" post - some people only can write agression because they do not care for more -akin to the caveman you described above- and thus drag anything they write about down to their level so they do not need to confront their flaws.
I must admit that I am also guilty of this, but I usually quit my war stories when I get sick of the body count. As soon as I emphasize with both sides, I do not want them fighting. Problem is that without conflict the story gets boring and I am not much of a social person so I do not care about the emotional conflicts most writers focus on instead.
3780545 Yes, if anything this post is a less aggressive rehash of How to Be a Loser. There are a few good adventure stories I have found where a lot of the fun is focusing on magic and technique and the conflicts, both intern and external, serve as little more than a carrier for this fun.
How do you stop a war with yourself where you have little control?
3783273 What are you talking about?
3783547 What if the person is in conflict with the self and cause is beyond most of the person control? I guess my first question is beyond the scope of your blog post. Never mind then if you wish. Do think you bring up valid feelings and thoughts.
Another question or three: How do you feel about stories that take place after wars? Do you consider the battle between Celestia and Luna a war? Could you fashion a sugar bowl from an ash tray?
3785134 The battle between Celestia and Luna was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened in Equestria. Every living being realized just how helpless they are. Even Discord, in his statued state, learned that he is allowed to exist because of Celestia's compassion. The lessons of friendship taught in the show are to strengthen one's connection with others, to cultivate compassion, because as one grows in power one must grow in compassion, understanding, and tolerance. Celestia and Luna grew to a point of being able to feel into every one. Celestia's tolerance, her personal strength, allowed her to focus on the joy of her ponies, but Luna was tormented by their screams, their fears, and their deaths. Both Princesses could feel both equally, but Luna's selfishness for not wanting to feel any pain or fear overrode her tolerance, so she convinced herself that killing everyone at once and starting over was the only fair way to bring unending peace. Her failure to see the bigger picture nearly destroyed the universe.
Equestria is the sugar bowl after the ash tray.
3785619 I get it. So often I don't get a person's point it's infuriating. Mostly partial lines and faded thoughts land in my mind. This is the best thing that's happen to me this year. Understanding I sound weird saying this (or I might be a suck up or attention whore), this is the best thing and I thank you. Thank you.