An Old Update

First off, A special thanks to the authors that helped me.
FireGazer, AlexMagnet.
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Thanks to those of you who liked, commented and shared my videos to push some of them well into popularity. Thank you ALL for 237 subscribers even though i never once made you a proper thank you video.
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I owe you all an explanation, a thank you, a massive round of applause and cheer for what you have done for Landon. For, me.

Landon is dead. He was never really alive, but he is gone.
Let me explain.

Landon was a creation, a pseudonym given to me almost 10 years ago, a name that I needed to play online games without giving out my real name, a mask to protect me from those online.
It stuck, I made new accounts as Landon, emails, paypals, characters, a full life really. He was a side of me that I could live as online, without worrying about anyone finding him and exposing my interests outside of life.
I made friends, great, wonderful friends as Landon, who knew me as nothing else. No face, no home. Just another guy having a good time online and loving every second of it.

I got all of you here today, my subscribers, my friends, those coming to the channel just for the first time to see... this.

I decided over the spring of the current year that Landon needed to go. It was getting to be too much for me. Too many people here in my life interested in my games, my hobbies, confused by my choice of username. Too many people in games kept safely at a distance. Too many people relying on me, talking to me, talking to this fake mask of a person who was made up of the experience and personalities of nothing more than his history. Someone who cared only because his only existence in the world was to care.

People who are no longer with us, as well as people that are still playing with me today.

I killed Landon quickly. Without warning. I shut down my accounts across the web, I deleted emails, characters, entire games and worlds, I killed off portfolios of stuff, and I cut off anyone who knew me as Landon for this STUPID insane idea that maybe if I came back with a proper username, a less real, less attached one that maybe I could gain their friendships again and they would never be the wiser, that they wouldn't mind the sudden disappearance of something I regarded as nothing more than a cluster of pixels on a screen.

This channel survived that blast. This channel, I can't get rid of it. But I can't be it anymore either.

It is.... very difficult to be a brony reader. I had such high hopes, I wanted to read with my FimFic hero, Scribbler, I wanted to colab with others, I wanted to truly make ART out of stories written by others just so more people could experience the love, the joy and the fun that goes into things like a 4000 word sillyfic.

And I did... a little.

You see, my last few videos, the hour, hour and a half long videos. The ones titled something mildly suggestive, edited, laid out and titled to DRAW attention through the crowd. Each of those videos takes about 5 or 6 HOURS of work to make. 5 hours, on top of life, sitting, recording for hours, correcting myself, re-recording then editing and listening to my voice over and over and over again to make sure that everything was as PERFECT as I could possibly manage it to be.
Then the uploading, the fanfair, the joy of you all.

and the related videos.

clopfics, smut, porn, gore, rape, grimdark stories read by someone far too young on a microphone made out of cardboard and with no editing, no flow, mistakes...
thousands of views, thousands of subscribers, fans, art, colabs.

It's... well its hard to justify spending 5 hours on something when I could read a short, 20 minute clopfic, upload the raw audio and get 3, 4, 5 times as much popularity. But without the care.

This is my official goodbye. My funeral that I never gave something that I never knew had a life.

I can't read for you anymore. I'm just too tired. So tired.

I'm sorry to anyone who made it this far into the video. I will be most likely continuing.... something on my second channel with my friends. But this... Landon... the readings, there wont be any more.

Goodbye Friends,
The End.