• Member Since 24th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

The Hat Man

A man with a love of top hats and the finer things in life. Like aged rum. And UNICORNS.

More Blog Posts291

  • Thursday
    How have I not seen this?!

    There's an animated version of Terry Prattchett's Soul Music. Seems Pratchett was doing crossovers of Discworld with MLP before it was cool. (Also, holy crap, that's Christopher Lee as Death!) (Also, for reference, Binky is the name of Death's horse in the Discworld.)

    10 comments · 93 views
  • Tuesday
    Update: "Reaping Rainbow" - Chapter 4

    Sorry for the wait, but I believe it'll be worth it! :raritywink:

    Read More

    5 comments · 59 views
  • 4 weeks
    Update: The next chapter of "Reaping Rainbow" is here!

    Enjoy! (Note: image unrelated - don't worry, I'd never kill off a Pie sister.)

    DOA (Dash On Arrival)

    8 comments · 108 views
  • 5 weeks
    "Reaping Rainbow" - Thanks, and sorry about the wait!

    Hey everyone! First, I wanted to say thank you to all the new followers I got following the release of "Reaping Rainbow" as well as to the huge number of you who faved the story. Its success was quite unexpected, but I'm so glad people are enjoying it. Anyway, the next chapter is being worked on and will hopefully update soon. I just got a bit caught up with things in real life, but I'll get back

    Read More

    7 comments · 104 views
  • 6 weeks
    Like Reaping Rainbow? Check these out too!

    Hey folks! I'm so grateful to all of you who've helped make "Reaping Rainbow" a surprise hit and given me helpful feedback! Props especially to my editing team of Reese, Generous Gypsy, and E3gner, as well as my best pal and illustrator Greenfinger for doing the cover art. Anyway, if you like the work of Sir Terry Pratchett and seeing homages to his work in your horsewords,

    Read More

    4 comments · 179 views

"I Can Explain!" - Fan-Created Twilight x Gadget ship chapter! · 3:51am Feb 3rd, 2016

Previously, on The Hat Man's blog posts...

Hats: You guys want an Applejack chapter or a shipping chapter?

Readers: Applejack!

Hats: Okay.

A few Readers: And later on, more shipping! Twilight x Gadget is yummy!

Hats: Twilight x what now?

A few Readers: Doooo eeeeeet!

Hats: No! Look, you want it so bad, if one of you write a Twilight x Gadget fic, then I'll put it on my blog post, okay?

Gullible Cynic: Oh reeeeeally?

Yep! Longtime reader Gullible Cynic wrote up and sent me this little ditty.

Pictured: Gullible Cynic - Turing Test's futuristic robot pony descendant?

Now, all I've done with this is edit it for punctuation and mistakes, but it is otherwise entirely his words. And while TwiGadge isn't canon (and never will be), this did make me laugh and was actually pretty cute. So, love it or hate it, take a gander! And if you like it, do Cynic a flava and let him know!

Also, "TwiGadge" sounds lousy. Hm... Gadget Sparkle? No, too wordy. GadgeLight? No, that sounds dirty. Twidget? Ehhh... (wanders off, talking to himself)

I Can Explain
A Crack Ship by Gullible Cynic set in the world of "The Iron Horse"

Twilight was lying on the carpet in front of her bed, two books suspended in her magic. One was a purple encyclopedia sporting a post-it note with a poor rendition of an even more purple alicorn. The other book was a beige engineering manual featuring a post-it note with a much more careful drawing featuring a bespectacled mare with four mechanical arms. Twilight shook the alicorn-adorned encyclopedia slightly as if it was speaking.

“Oh Gadget! You don't have to hide your feelings from me,” said Twilight in a poor imitation of her own voice.

“Twilight you make me feel so many feelings! But we must not, it is taboo!”  said Twilight imitating Gadget only slightly less poorly.

“Taboo? But Gadget, you didn't have any problem with Talon and Choco Mint!”

“Yeah but two guys making out is hot,” Twilight-as-Gadget countered. Twilight took a moment to consider this perspective as she stared off into the distance. Then she took another moment as her wings started extending for definitely unrelated reasons. Yet another moment was forthcoming but the scene before her required her attention. With a shake of her head Twilight resumed speaking on behalf of her purple encyclopedia.

“Can't you see we were meant to be together?”

“Twilight I've only ever expressed interest in stallions, like that jerk Fine Print... and yet, I find you strangely attractive,” the beige manual responded.

“Of course you do. I’m an Equestrian Princess and we often attract up-and-coming young mares!”

“No, we must not, leave me be!”

“No, kiss me!”

“No, no, yes.”


“Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah, oh, ohh... ohhhh, your horn is so big.”

Just then Spike burst in through the door behind her.  “Twiii-light!”

Panicking and hiding her makeshift dolls beneath her forehooves, Twilight shouted over her shoulder: “WHAT?!”

“Uh, you asked me to let you know when Gadget arrived.”


“Sure thing Twilight.” Spike slowly started backing out of the bedroom.
“Did you see anything?”

“Uhh, nope. I certainly didn't see you playing with your weird book-dolls again!”

“Good! Because I was just reading.” Sneakily destroying the post-it notes in a blast of brilliant fire, Twilight made a show of re-shelving her two books before catching up with what Spike said. “Wait, Gadget is here?”

Spike poked his head back into the bedroom. “Yeah, you were going to tell her how you feel. You know, the whole ‘ask her out’ thing?”

“Spike that's very private! How do you know that? Have you been eavesdropping? Because if so, I'm very disappointed with you.” Twilight sat, eyes closed, waggling a hoof at the young dragon.

“You make me take dictation for your diary,” Spike deadpanned.

 “Well, never mind that now. We'll figure out your punishment later,” Twilight said as she trotted out of her bedroom.

Spike grumbled as he followed Twilight to the stairs. “I mean, I helped make today’s checklist for Celestia’s sake. You know what’s on this thing.” Descending the stairs Spike dutifully pulled out the checklist for review.

“Okay, Spike. First item on the list: Turing Test is at Sugarcube Corner so she won't be emotionally traumatized should the worst happen.”

“And so she won't hear you playing with-”

Twilight glared. Glared so much.

“I mean, Check,” responded Spike.

“Item 2: Remind myself that the worst that's likely to happen is that I get a very heartfelt and apologetic ‘let’s stay friends’.”

 “Yeah, she's pretty reasonable. I think you actually called it right on this one, Twi.” Twilight gave him a smug expression which quickly turned impatient. “Check,” Spike said with a defeated sigh.

Smugness restored, Twilight continued. “Item 3: Gadget and I actually go through with it.” Full nervousness returned to Twilight who gulped loudly. “Quick Spike, tell me something encouraging!”

“I don't know Twi, am I still getting punished for something I didn't do?”

“Spike, it is important that we accept the consequences of our actions.” Twilight Lecture mode resumed.

“But I didn't. If you just listen-”

“No time for that now, Spike.” They had reached the bottom of the stairs and were standing in front of the door to the living room. Gathering her courage Twilight flung the door open to see the mare of her dreams talking to Turing Test. A small part of Twilight was certain that the robot was not supposed to be here.

“Oh hello, Twilight!” Gadget had a genuine smile on her face. “Turing was just telling me about your friend Pinkie who apparently had some sort of precognitive episode when-”

“Gadget!” Twilight exclaimed, cutting the other mare off. Then she gaped at her, utterly awestruck at the outfit she was wearing. “I… wow, you look…” She grinned broadly. “You look fantastic.”

Gadget looked down at the same dark grey work shirt she always wore. “Thank you?” she said, an eyebrow raised. Spike slapped his claws over his eyes.

“Um, sorry. Sorry about that. Can I start again? Hello Gadget, how are you doing?”

“Well, a little confused right now, but overall fla-”

“Willyougooutwithme!?” Twilight blurted, cutting off Gadget again.

Gadget sat on the floor dumbstruck and slightly blushing, her four Point Dexter mechanical arms slightly curling around herself in a defensive posture.

Twilight took a moment to breath. She reminded herself that the worst case was rejection, which might sting, but she knew that they would stay friends no matter what. “Sorry, I’m feeling really antsy, but I can explain-”

Twilight was cut off as a look of realization crossed Gadget’s face.

“CHANGELING!” Gadget roared, leaping at Twilight, her four mechanical arms flailing wildly. Twilight panicked, scurrying this way and that, narrowly avoiding the incoming blows.

As the two mares darted around the the living room, the robot Turing Test had extended a horn from her forehead. Just as she was about to cast a spell, Spike held up a claw to wave her off.

“Why do you stop me Spike the Dragon? I believe this incident about which Pinkie Pie was attempting to warn me.”

Twilight went flying over their heads, thrown by Gadget.

“Nah, Pinkie sense isn’t usually that straightforward.”

Twilight countered by flinging several books at Gadget. Trashy romance novels, naturally. Honestly, they barely deserved to be called books.

“Is that why you stopped me? Do these prophecies end poorly if you resist them? Much of the literature I have read would support that conclusion, but there seems to be a noticeable lack of scientific research on actual information-based time loops. Or any other time loop for that matter. Strange. It seems like a glaring oversight.”

Gadget caught the flying romance novels with her Point Dexter and swiftly returned fire at Twilight.

“Maybe, I dunno. Twilight’s punishing me for something I didn’t do. If I’m getting punished anyways, I might as well deserve it."

Twilight had raised a shield just in time to block the improvised projectiles.

“So I am to understand that there is no reason to allow this fight to continue?”

Twilight teleported onto Gadget’s back and was momentarily distracted by the softness of her fur.

“Eh, Twilight’s just burning off stress and Gadget’s a smart pony. She’ll realized Twi’s not a changeling any minute now.”

Gadget grabbed Twilight in her mechanical arms and threw her into the ceiling

“Do they not risk injury?”

Twilight used her new-found height to perform a dive bomb at Gadget.

“Nah, they’ll be fine. They’re just crushing on each other, you know. Well at least I know Twilight is. Gadget probably is too if she'd suspect a love-sucking bug to take Twilight's form.”

Bracing herself, Gadget used her Point Dexter arms to redirect the incoming alicorn.

“They do not appear to be crushing each other. Mostly just throwing each other.“

With a final heave, Twilight grasped Gadget and both mares were sent tumbling across the floor. They landed in a heap together, face-to-face, breathing heavily but not getting up to resume the fight. Slowly their eyes closed and their lips inched closer to each other.

“Whelp, that's my cue to leave,” said Spike, turning to walk away.

“Should we not assist them? They appear to be attempting mouth to mouth resuscitation on each other, they may still be in danger.”

“Trust me, they’re fine.  Come on we'll go for ice cream and I'll let Pinkie explain, seems she mostly knows anyway.”

“What about Pinkie’s prophecy?” asked Turing as she joined Spike in leaving the castle. “That fight seems to be unusual enough to qualify.”

“Nah, she gets in fights surprisingly often. Did you know she once threw a centaur through a mountain? At least, that's the way she tells it. No, Pinkie was probably predicting Twilight getting a marefriend. Seriously, I thought she’d never get a special somepony.”

Well, there ya go! For the record, I'm not sure if I'll make a habit of this sort of thing, but I won't rule it out either. I really am thankful for all the fantastic readers who enjoy "The Iron Horse" and my other work, and having someone make something related to it is wonderful. :twilightsmile:

Until next time!

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Comments ( 21 )

Well. :D

Spaceballs reference was the best xD

Yeah , I am pretty sure that it's totally how it would happend. :trollestia:
Too bad it's not to be eh ? :twilightsheepish:

And now , this is going to be the start of a clopfic featuring Mint and Turing (no , not our Turing , the other) because as Twilight said it "Yeah but two guys making out is hot" :trollestia:

Case in point , I liked it , so thank you Cynic for making our twisted vision come true !
(I am going to play around in my head with MaudXTuring for now , since it might happend)

By the way Hat , be glad that it wasn't Mint X Gadget , because it would have been called Midget , (still a better love story that FlashLight) . :rainbowlaugh:

Well, one of the prime points for a proper romance is reproduction. Gadget would make a fine mate for Turning in that fashion.

I can see it now. A little crib in the lab. Two heads bent over a table. The smell of solder in the air. You don't know how difficult it was for me *not* to write this in the last Writeoff.me session.

3730057 I don't know when, I don't know who, I don't know how. But I shall get some-one to wright Turing x twilight or maud smut (with permission from the author of corse)

3730071 Hhhmmmmmm....

Hatsie, can I?! Please? Just kidding, I don't think I could make it work that well.But seriously you should so totally let me do that or at least try because I am like super crazy awesome good at writing smut. But it's also cool if you don't want that to happen. Like, totally cool. I'm just gonna go now.


By the way Hat , be glad that it wasn't Mint X Gadget , because it would have been called Midget

Oh man, that's so awful it's kind of brilliant. :rainbowlaugh:


Love Ponyville-style! :raritywink::yay::ajsmug::pinkiehappy::twilightoops:

that was to funny!~ congrats!!

If you all like this, go give kudos to Gullible Cynic. He's the one responsible for this bit of madness. :twilightsmile:

3731825 That's what Cynic was going for, yeah. :pinkiesmile:

Given how reference-happy the source material is, I was kinda pleased to see that.

Dat spaceballs reference though.

This is awesome. I can totally see Twilight with book dolls, it would honestly be easier to hide those than actual dolls.


...Actually, I don't really mind, but I'm considerably less inclined to go for something overtly sexual simply because I want to keep the story readable without a lot of people being turned off by elements they might find unsavory. (And, truthfully, I tend not to like stories like that myself most of the time.) So, while there will be a chapter about romance, and yes, Maud will be in it, I'm a bit iffy on something deliberately smutty.

However, if you gents care to do something and want to show me, I think that's all right, but I can't promise that I'll be re-post it in a blog or anything. I might, though, depending on how it turns out. :unsuresweetie:


Well, one of the prime points for a proper romance is reproduction. Gadget would make a fine mate for Turning in that fashion.
I can see it now. A little crib in the lab. Two heads bent over a table. The smell of solder in the air. You don't know how difficult it was for me *not* to write this in the last Writeoff.me session.

Holy crap, that actually sounds awesome. :pinkiehappy:

You know, Georg, considering you're among the best writers on the site and have written a few of my favorite stories, I think - in your case - I can give express permission for that sort of thing. If you want to write it, you've got my blessing! :twilightsmile:

3736037 well, if I were to do something like that, it would be a full on fic, and (with your permission, of course) I would post it as a legit spinoff non-canon thing, like I did with THIS ONE. Its more like... A Fanfic of a fanfic, really.

3736052 Gadget continued to hunch over the table, the mechanical arms of her Point Dexter each holding a small tool or magnifying glass as she traced the fine hair-like threads of the salvaged device. "This is fascinating, Turing. The device seems to be a rough analog of the circuits of your own computational core. If we could repair the fracture and copy a fraction of your programming into it, we could conceivably build a smaller and less capable robot much like you."

So you could possibly create... Behind her, Gadget could hear the creaking of Turing Test's ears shifting positions, then the quiet clumping of her hooves as she moved around Twilight Sparkle's laboratory. She did not think anything of it until there was a sudden cold blast of air and she jumped upright to see Turing Test holding the bulb of a desoldering kit next to her head.

"What!" Gadget rubbed her ear with one mechanical hand while trying to gather up the scattered tools. "Turing! What were you doing?"

According to the library instructional manuals, when two ponies attempt to replicate themselves, they first engage in a series of rituals that include blowing into each other's ears, kissing--

"What!" repeated Gadget as the aforementioned ears began to heat up to a bright red. "What manuals?"

The ones locked on the shelf labeled 'For Adults Only' behind the staircase. If you are unfamiliar with the process, I can procure several of them for you to study, although most of the rituals seem to be beyond my capacity.

3736081 Heh. That's a great start to a potential fic.

Just one thing, though...

"This is fascinating, Turning

Gadget could hear the creaking of Turning Test's ears


Um... it's Turing. :twilightsheepish:


I'll go ahead and assume autocorrect reared its ugly head, though. Regardless, other than that, it was perfect and very much true to the characters! If you ever felt like doing more, I'd read it in a heartbeat. :twilightsmile:

CAN. NOT.STOP.laughing!!!!!!!:rainbowlaugh:

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