Clopfics

So recently I got asked how to write a clopfic... first I'm going to say I'm not very good, just look at my first one,

"Oh hai dere, i see we're both masturbating to each other so lets have sex."

"Durr okay."

I have gotten a little better though at my porn though, it's not so rushed anymore, so I'll give a couple of pointers:

1) Calm down, relax, take your time. Most people, not excluding myself, are too eager to write it then post it. This usually results in not very good sex under 1000 words with characters that seem a little like puppets... e.g. Sweetie. I mean by the end of that dramatic reading Clopfic RMagic kindly did for me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GZuNbvSoBc) Sweetie had said er-a so many times she sounded like an idiot.

2) Have a motive. You can't have random sex. In incest fics it's the forbidden desire, in vanilla a nice relationship and in kinky fics just have pre animal lust. Even shit motives will suffice like, "I'm horny" will do for those that are pure clop. If you're having an underlying story (like The Romance Reports and what I'm planning) remember that every sexual encounter must have the same motive, or similar at least. Even add story arcs, maybe where the main character fucks the CMC.

3) Pair up the odd. Fluttermac, Twidash and spike with each of the CMC are all well and good for a while, but they get boring eventually. Try to pair up those who just crazy together but work. Do Dash x Tank or Spike x Lyra and have Bon Bon going down on Vinyl while Octavia sucks off Mac. Be bonkers, it's fun.

So yeah. That's the advice :p. Have fun!