Dirty Sombra Talk at Work and Why I Love My Brony Husband · 8:19am Jan 24th, 2016
Remember National Hat Day at work last week? Well, the following conversation over email started out innocently enough, then rapidly deteriorated into new policies around the castle about naked mares, King Sombra's crystal guards wearing only helmets and Dr. Hooves toiling away in our dungeon trying to invent asphalt before its time. Such is the life of the official Time Witch to His Royal Highness King Sombra...
From: Nyx
Sent: Friday, January 22, 2016 2:30 PM
To: King Sombra
Subject: National Hat Day
H.R. sent me this link when I asked them for any pics they had of National Hat Day. See me? (link omitted to protect the guilty)
Still think it’d be awesome if we wore hats in the castle. Whatcha think, Somby?
Trouble-Making, Hat-Wearing-Slave!
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From: King Sombra
Sent: Friday, January 22, 2016 3:02 PM
To: Nyx
Subject: RE: National Hat Day
Wow! In the pictures you all look like really tall, skinny people. Were you all run over by a steamroller?
Make a note Nyx, buy a steamroller for the dungeon.
And no hats.
Guards are to wear helmets.
Mares are to wear nothing! For hygienic reasons, of course.
Anti-Hat King.
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From: Nyx
Sent: Friday, January 22, 2016 3:15 PM
To: King Sombra
Subject: RE: National Hat Day
My time-travel ability is rubbing off on you, my King. We don’t have steamrollers in our time. Have you been sneaking into my TARDIS again without me?
One steamroller for the dungeon – check!
No hats…*pout*
Guards – can they wear only helmets? I mean, nothing else…nevermind. Forget I said that.
You never let me wear anything around the castle anyway – why is this a new policy?!?
“hygenic”…hehehe! *snicker* *sneaks into the dungeon to HOWL with laughter!*
Two-more-hours-in-the-mines-Slave
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From: King Sombra
Sent: Friday, January 22, 2016 4:15 PM
To: Nyx
Subject: RE: National Hat Day
Dr. Whooves invented a steamroller a while back. He said it was excellent for spreading asphalt on the roads. So I sent him into the mines three years ago to invent asphalt. I guess he isn’t done, yet.
Guards can also wear armor, as long as they don’t soil it.
And I’m just reminding you of the policy since you brought up this silly hat thing. Hats and clothing can get… lice and… stuff. So as you see, I’m only thinking of the mare slaves’ well being. STOP LAUGHING!!!!
And what is a TARDIS? Hmmm?????
Now back to the mines with you!
Tired-of-having-to-explain-himself-King.
Hope you distracted the King from the whole TARDIS thing. That could be a problem if he found out about it.
I demand a resurrection spell to be cast. I think I died few times from laughter reading this.
3708891 Yes, OMG! What am I going to tell Dr. Hooves?!?
I'll tell you what I'm going to tell him...NOTHING.
3708893 lol, I died at work reading it, Askre! And let me tell you, I had to go back in time to resurrect myself and if you don't think that's hard, try it sometime!
My hubby...Tale Weaver, if you haven't already guessed, is a sharp pony and never ceases to make me laugh - even after 26 years of wedded bliss.
Oh and I FINALLY read the last chapter of Possession in the Crystal Empire today. Yeah, I'm all caught up! Still really liking it so far.
3708914 I can well imagine how hard it is.
And I finally found time to read your body of work, liked them all.