Read It Now Reviews #69 – Breach of Loyalty, You Only Get One First Time, Here’s Your Letter, Hem, The Holiday At the End of the World · 11:45pm Jan 19th, 2016
Three blog posts in two days? What is the world coming to?
Today’s stories:
Breach of Loyalty by Ashi
You Only Get One First Time by Nyronus
Here’s Your Letter by FamousLastWords
Hem by shortskirtsandexplosions
The Holiday at the End of the World by KitsuneRisu
Breach of Loyalty
by Ashi
Drama, Sad, Slice of Life
2,237 wordsRainbow Dash is looking forward to a nice, quiet dinner with her girlfriend, but soon Fluttershy reveals a terrible secret to her. One that will threaten the future of their relationship.
Why I added it: Judging by the description, Fluttershy is going to cry in this. Also, they made a blog post about a comment on this story.
Review
Fluttershy has cooked all of Rainbow Dash’s favorite foods. Hayburgers, hayfries, a pecan pie, a chocolate milkshake…
She must be in trouble. After all, the only time Fluttershy butters her up with this kind of food is when she wants to nag.
But it quickly becomes apparent that the buttering up is for something else entirely – Fluttershy needs Rainbow Dash to forgive her for something. But can Rainbow Dash forgive such a breach of trust?
Breakup stories can be interesting to read. Sure, they hurt, but they can hurt in a sort of good way. But they’re supposed to hurt.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t actually hurting by the end of this story.
The thing about breakup stories is that you need to get the emotional engagement up front, and sweep the reader up into the characters and their pain.
Here, though, I never ended up getting swept up. The point of view moves between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash throughout the piece, and I never ended up quite sitting in either character’s horseshoes. I didn’t get caught up in the pain of betrayal, or in the pain of letting your lover down. And the central crux of the story – Fluttershy’s betrayal – felt kind of weak. Her explanation wasn’t very powerful, and I was left feeling distant from it because I didn’t really emotionally understand why she did what she did. Rainbow Dash notes that it was “out of character” for her, and it really was – and while people do “out of character” things, they typically do so for reasons, and while being lonely is an explanation, it wasn’t very convincing.
As the emotional core of the story didn’t end up touching me, I didn’t end up feeling the proper “punch in the gut and stab in the back” that I was hoping for.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
You Only Get One First Time
by Nyronus
Sex, Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life
4,336 wordsRainbow Dash has become quite the mare since joining the 'Bolts. Brave, loyal, charming, and the fastest flier in all of Equestria to boot, and Spitfire would be lying if she said she didn't admire that and didn't find that more a little attractive.
Not that she has a crush or anything.
So after a good night out on the town, Spitfire decides to make an offer to Rainbow Dash to do something special. It's an offer Dash can't really refuse.
Unfortunately there are a couple factors Spitfire didn't account for.
A story of sex, friendship, small talk, and aggressive awkwardness.
Why I added it: Nyronus is a good writer.
Review
Spitfire is a bit smitten with Rainbow Danger Dash. She’s got all these great stories, she’s funny, she’s a national hero, but still an ordinary pony…
Oh, and she’s smoking hot.
So it is hardly any surprise that one evening Spitfire decides to invite Rainbow Dash in for a cup of coffee.
Hot coffee, if you get my drift.
She means sex.
Don’t worry, Rainbow Dash doesn’t get it either. Despite the fact that she’s totally dated and banged tons of ponies. Really. That totally happened.
And the fact that she’s now super jittery has nothing to do with the fact that she’s never done anything like this before, ever.
This is a story about Spitfire trying to seduce Rainbow Dash while trying to put into place the idea that the national hero of Equestria five times over, who is a personal friend of the princesses, is a virgin. And she has no idea how to deal with it.
It is a kind of cute story of Rainbow Dash and Spitfire stumbling through the evening, making mistakes by turns as they try to play it cool and totally botch it.
If you want to read about two ponies awkwardly and cutely spiraling towards having sex (or not having sex), this might be something you’d enjoy.
Recommendation: Recommended if this sort of thing floats your ship boat.
Here’s Your Letter
by FamousLastWords
Romance, Slice of Life
1,570 wordsSpike waits for his mail to come and has a chat with the mail pony.
Why I added it: It was featured.
Review
Spike is waiting for the mailmare, hoping that he’ll get an invitation to the dance tonight from someone. *cough* Rarity. *cough*
He doesn’t.
But Derpy tells him not to feel too bad; she didn’t either.
On the one hand, this story is a slightly cute piece of fluff.
On the other hand, stuff like this:
Spike nodded. “Yeah, kinda. I was actually kinda hoping I’d get one from Rarity, but you know, didn’t quite happen.”
“Rarity? You know, I did get a letter from her, but it was addressed to somepony named Weeaboo Trash. Go figure.”
Kind of pulled me out of the story.
And on the gripping hand, the conclusion, while cute, also seems to forget that Spike is a little kid and a little kid going to a couples dance with a grownup is kind of creepy. I mean, I think the gesture was cute and all, but it ended up being weird.
Recommendation: Not Recommended, though you might like it more if the idea of Spike going out with an adult doesn’t weird you out.
Hem
by shortskirtsandexplosions
Random
2,062 wordsRarity has many things that need to be finished. But instead, she feels like taking a nap... or a shower... or maybe a little of both. It's a simple life, after all.
Why I added it: SS&E is a good writer.
Review
Rarity seems depressed. She doesn’t want to do any work, just does other things – eats ice cream, stands in the shower, hides in bed. She can’t sleep, and there’s this rustling sound.
Something is deeply wrong with the world.
This was a really bizarre story. That random tag isn’t a lie – this story is very strange. It has a very bleak feeling to it as Rarity muddles her way through this messed up, rotten, falling-apart world full of hollow, moth-eaten ponies.
I think this might be a symbolic story about procrastination, listlessness, and something else… but it might not be. It seems to be wanting to invoke an emotion, and I can’t say that it wasn’t evocative in its own way, but it is a very esoteric and nigh-incomprehensible piece, and I’m not entirely sure if I’m interpreting it correctly, or simply wanting to impose order onto chaos, as the story is not at all clear about what is happening, why it is happening, or what any of it means.
Recommendation: If you like weird stuff, and don’t mind (or enjoy) disturbing visuals, this is very weird. If you like stories that have an obvious purpose or point, you probably should steer clear.
The Holiday At the End of the World
by KitsuneRisu
Alternate Universe, Slice of Life
2,254 wordsUnder the last tree at the end of the world, two ponies discuss the events that led them there and what the future holds.
Why I added it: KitsuneRisu is a good writer.
Review
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash meet under the last tree in Equestria as a bizarre gray snow covers the landscape. It has been years since Equestria was green and colorful in the way it once was, but this tree remains as a reminder of what was, and what might be again, if they can figure out some way to fix it.
Rainbow Dash isn’t very optimistic, but Pinkie Pie still holds out hope – their friends have been working at fixing the world, and maybe one of them has figured out a way to correct the situation.
This is a kind of bleak story, but there is some hope there as well – the world is messed up, but they’re trying to fix it, and there are some indications that it might actually work. On the other hand, the story is kind of ambiguous about how much of it is legitimate hope and how much is wishful thinking on Pinkie Pie’s part.
This is a very slice of lifey piece despite the strange situation; it is a sort of rambly conversation between Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash which reveals the world and what is going on in it, and debates on whether or not hope should exist in this new, gray place.
Recommendation: Worth Reading if you don’t mind slice of life and ambiguous doom.
Summary
Breach of Loyalty by Ashi
Not Recommended
You Only Get One First Time by Nyronus
Recommended
Here’s Your Letter by FamousLastWords
Not Recommended
Hem by shortskirtsandexplosions
Not Recommended
The Holiday at the End of the World by KitsuneRisu
Worth Reading
The last three were a kind of strange bunch of stories, and three of these were kind of bleak, but it wasn’t a bad set overall; I was left with kind of mixed feelings about Here’s Your Letter, Hem, and The Holiday at the End of the World.
And I still have so many more stories to catch up on. 
But for now, I hope this batch tides you folks over until next time.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 109
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 408
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1792
As with Accentric, the way it is is sort of the point. I wanted Fluttershy to have no excuses - and it's a point that I tried to make as explicit as possible so that I could avoid comments/reviews like this - for what she'd done. Fluttershy did it because she wanted to, not just because of the loneliness, 'cause that's a heck of a lot worse than it being because of drugs, alcohol or an unbelievably smooth OC.
I suppose it all comes down to my views on Spike's age, canon or otherwise.
Anywho, thanks for the review! I appreciate it.
This critique seems unfair to me. Spike's canonical age is up in the air; you can find evidence to support "he's a child", evidence to support "he's an adult", and evidence to support everything in-between*. It's not the authors' fault that your preferred answer to that question differs from theirs, nor is it a flaw in the work.
*I'm convinced the staff made Spike a dog in Equestria Girls at least in part so they could sidestep this issue.
3699005
Spike is treated as a peer to the CMC, is referred to as a "baby dragon", is treated as being young (certainly significantly younger than Twilight, who acts as his caretaker, and does such things as tuck him into bed in the S1 opener), and acts like a child. Indeed, there's some evidence - such as the fact that Applejack's parents don't show up in Cutie Mark Chronicles - which suggests he may well be younger than Apple Bloom.
Spike is very much a tween character. It is hard to know exactly how old Spike is, but he's significantly younger than the main six, and he isn't treated as a full adult or as their peer.
Actually, he was made a dog in Equestria girls because according to Meghan McCarthy:
He also fantasizes about being an adult. And he ran into the teenaged dragons during Dragon Quest, who were depicted as being both older than him and definitely not adults.
Best to avoid logic in this, TD. Spike fans would have you believe Twilight was age 0 when she hatched him. After all, noone wants to self-insert as a prepubescent child who, being a member of a very long-lived race, will not be reaching the age of maturity anytime soon. Spike needs to be 18 asap so he can get under Rarity's tail.
Yay for references to controversial GTA mods. That Spitfire/Dash fic does sound really cute though. Definitely reading that one.
3699044 Aside from attending Sweetie's play in For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils, I can't recall Spike and the CMC ever interacting much less being treated as peers.
He's referred to as a "baby dragon", yet he's clearly not an infant. We've seen infant ponies and, more importantly, seen infant Spike; he neither looks nor is treated like an infant. So the phrase "baby dragon" clearly wasn't meant to be taken literally. Given the ambiguity of language it could mean anything from "he's still a child" to "he's younger than me". Given that we later learn ponies don't know anything about dragons and how they age, the "baby dragon" label can hardly be taken at face value.
Yes Twilight exercises a caretaker role over Spike. When I mentioned there was evidence of him being a child, that would be an example. But she also leaves him alone for extended periods of time and gives him an awful lot of work, treatment appropriate for an adult assistant but not for a child.
When Applejack leaves the farm, Big Mac and Granny are the only ponies visible. True her parents aren't visible but neither is Apple Bloom. That's all we know for certain. Baby Applebloom sleeping in her crib is certainly one interpretation that fits those facts. But it's not the only one. AJ's parents being away from the farm fits just a well.
Ms. McCarthy's tweet is obvious post hoc reasoning. If Spike were a small boy the writers would never have come up with the backpack gag because then Spike wouldn't need to be hidden. She basically said "we made him a dog because otherwise this thing we did only because he's a dog wouldn't make any sense."
Spike is indeed a "tween character"—that's exactly my point. His age is extremely ambiguous, more so than that of any other character. It's certainly not clear that he's "significantly younger than the main six". While he's definitely younger than Twilight, there's no evidence for just how much younger he is. It might be a decades or it might be just a couple of years.
No he's not treated as a full adult or peer by the Mane Six. He's also not treated the same way children like the CMC are treated. Spike has a full-time job and gets taken along on adventures—something that doesn't happen to the show's official child characters. He also doesn't go to school or get to play very much—when given the day off he'd completely at a loss. Again, those are adult traits not childish ones.
He fantasizes about being a knight in shining armor, that is, a larger more capable version of himself. That might be a child fantasizing about adulthood or it might be the kind of power fantasy even adults engage in. We've seen actual adult dragons and they don't look like that.
As for the teenage dragons, they're certainly larger than Spike but nothing shows them to be older. Spike certainly seemed to think he belonged with them and, while that could be explained a child's admiration and emulation of older kids, the teenage dragons also ultimately accept Spike as one of them. Not a very likely outcome if he truly was a child. Plus we already know from Secret of My Excess that Spike's size is malleable so being smaller than the teenage dragons doesn't necessarily prove he's younger than them. Even if he is younger, we also don't know how old a teenage dragon is—they could easily be twice as old as Twilight.
Now I don't really expect any of this to change your mind and that's fine—your headcanon is your own and you're welcome to it. But my original point remains, denigrating an authors work just because it doesn't match your headcanon is unfair.
3699539 It's cute how you suggest that Spike's fans are incapable of logic while immediately resorting to ad hominem attacks yourself. Somewhere out there is a kettle who'd really like to make your acquaintance.
3699774 You, know, that's fair. I should probably clarify that I am referring to insane Spike fans, which are a subset of the whole. Titanium Dragon, for instance, greatly likes the little guy, but doesn't try to treat him as being other than what he is. Not everyone treats Spike as their penis' personal entry into Equestria.
That being said, some do, and it tends to be noticed. You're unfortunately catching flack for other people who truly are nucking futs.
3699770
You've clearly forgotten Just for Sidekicks.
We've seen Apple Bloom do work on Applejack's farm, despite being a kid. This used to be quite standard.
First off - a tween is someone in the stage of preadolescence between early childhood and adolescence. They are typically defined as being between 8-12 years old, though some put it as 10-12. So yes, he is a "tween character" - but that doesn't mean it is very ambiguous.
Secondly, no - the age difference is not "just a couple of years". We've seen five year old ponies. Twilight was significantly older than five years old during Cutie Mark Chronicles. We don't know her exact age, but she's probably somewhere in the realm of 6-12 there, suggesting she is that much older than Spike.
Spike is a kid. That's not headcanon, it is just regular old canon. I couldn't tell you if he was 10 or 12 years old, but it is clear he isn't an adult, given the behavior of others towards him. While his status as Twilight's sidekick means he does things that other child characters don't do, it doesn't mean he isn't a child, and Twilight does hesitate before dragging him around on several occaisions. Twilight is a kind of neglectful guardian (see also the Spike episode that must not be named), but she clearly does care for him as if he was a child in her care. You know, when she remembers. :V
If you like stories like that, there's nothing wrong with it. But suggesting that Spike is canonically an adult is simply wrong. Some people have headcanons which contradict what happens in a show, and that's totally fine, but one of the major reasons why so many people get squicked by Sparity is precisely because he's a kid.
Knowing now that FamousLastWords thinks of Spike as an adult, I'll avoid their stories, because that sort of thing is likely to feel weird to me - and much weirder if it is actually treated seriously. Aged-up Spike dating adults, or present Spike dating a kid, isn't too weird, but having show Spike date an adult will always throw me.
3699794
You're right, I did forget that one. But I don't think it really helps your case, since Spike is using the Crusaders to advance his scheme not treating them as his peers. Arguabley the conductor's willingness to let Spike escort the CMC to the Crystal Empire is a mark in the "Spike's an adult" column.
Chores comprise only a tiny part of what Apple Bloom does. Spike, on the other hand, has a full time job—when we see him he's almost always doing something to help Twilight. Unlike the CMC, he doesn't go to school and he rarely gets to just hang out and play with his friends. Indeed his work's so all-consuming that when he does get a day off he has no idea what to do with himself.
By your own estimations Twilight might be as young as six. Six is not "significantly older" than five, not on the time scale we're talking about here. Nor is a six year age gap particularly huge.
No, it's quite explicitly not canon because none of the main characters has a canon age. The closest is Sweetie Belle, who's canonically older than five.
Ironically the most virulent Spike hater I know uses that very same neglectful guardian behavior to "prove" Spike's really an adult. Because let's face it—if Spike really is a child—then Twilight's a pretty awful guardian.
I never said Spike's canonically an adult. I simply said, and continue to say, that his age is ambiguous and that there's evidence in canon to support a number of interpretations. It's claiming to know his canon age and insisting that those who disagree are mistaken—and even worse "squicky"—that's simply wrong.
I find Sparity a little squicky myself, because my headcanon for Spike is he's an adolescent and Rarity's a young adult. But I can't help but notice that many of the same people who rush to cry "he's just a kid" whenever Sparity comes up are more than willing to overlook issues like that neglect you mentioned. It seems that for a lot of people it's less about squick and more about getting Spike away from their waifu. "He's a kid" just becomes a convenient excuse, one they seem happy to forget whenever it might excuse (or at least mitigate) Spike's behavior or cast poor light on the actions of the Mane Six.
And again I'm fine with that. We all like what we like, and there's a certain inevitable amount of subjectivity in any review. I just don't think using prejudicial terms like "creepy" and "weird" are appropriate or fair to the author.
3699779 I happen to know one of those "insane Spike fans", he and I have crossed words on more than one occasion. You know what he told me once when I chided him about being more civil? He said he used to try it but he keep on getting attacked by the Spike haters. So now he just goes on the attack immediately.
I invite you to look back over your original post, compare your attitude with his, and then tell me why I'm supposed to think he's the one who's "nucking futs."
3700813 I never claimed sanity in the first place. The question is, do you? You've made two irony-laden replies to me (one a reply to a comment not even directed to you, in which I unwisely made a sweeping statement about what is admittedly a small subset of fans in an even smaller subset of the fandom). Both calling me out for being a hypocrite and being less than sane.
Perhaps I am, but I apologized for my behavior, while yours continues. Should we ask the pots and kettles to settle this, or would you like to accept an apology (for, I will remind you, a slight I hadn't even directed at you, and if it didn't apply, you could have ignored) and leave be?
3700839
It's true the comment wasn't directed to me, but it would take a remarkable amount of self-deception to conclude that it wasn't about me. Or to think that—in a public thread you knew I was a part of—I wouldn't see it.
As for an apology, I'm still waiting on one of those. Generally they're something along the lines of "I'm sorry". Not "okay you got me, but that doesn't matter because these other people who aren't you still suck."
3700974 If you're expecting an apology for calling crazy people crazy, I'm sorry, you'll be waiting awhile.
But, to be more direct, I apologize for inadvertently insulting you. My ire is for those who are inexplicably militant about their headcanons regarding a small reptilian fellow of indeterminant age, because frankly I think they self-identify far too much and go out of their way to take offense.
My reaction to said militants is, in itself, less than sane, and here you were, showing all the markings of being one of the crazy ones. I misjudged you, and that was wrong of me.
But crazy people remain crazy.
3700698
A six year age gap is enormous when it is 10 vs 16 or 12 vs 18, as is the case here.
You don't need to know someone's exact age in years to know that they're a kid. In fact, in most works about kids, you don't know their exact ages.
She is a pretty awful guardian. Spike At Your Service kind of proved that. That's pretty much why he's so responsible - because he has to be.
3700997 Apology accepted.
3701016
Remember that this hypothetical six year gap is between Spike and Twilight. We still have no clue how old Rarity is, she could actually be younger that Twilight by a year or two. Which would plausibly make for a four year age gap between her and Spike. "Enormous" then is really overselling it, I'm pretty sure all the folks who get squicked by Sparity aren't envisioning a mere four to six year age gap.
No but you do need some basis for comparison in order to make that judgement. After all, most kid show protagonists are human and we already know what human children look and act like.
With Spike on the other hand, we know very little about dragon biology and what we do know is confusing and sometimes contradictory. Clearly he's not a full-grown dragon but, beyond that, we don't know anything about his physical, mental, or emotional development. So we can't just look at him and flatly declare that he's a kid.
The only other option is to examine at Spike's role in pony society and, as we've already established, that's all over the place. Sometimes he has dietary restrictions, naptimes, and gets punished for misdeeds. Sometimes he has adult responsibilities, lives with no supervision and serves as support for other ponies. The show is remarkably consistent in its inconsistency.
3701380
Rarity didn't look like she was five years old in the flashbacks either; she looked like she was about the same age as Twilight. This was in the same episode. She was old enough to be making costumes for the school play; does that really seem like the sort of thing a six-year old would be doing? Did she seem like a six-year old in her flashback?
Her behavior seemed like a tween.
A high school graduate dating a 12 year old is squicky. And Spike may well be younger than that. And Rarity might be as old as her early 20s.
3701592
3701380
To join in on the age issue... pretty sure Rarity was slightly older than Twilight in that episode.
Basically, it comes down to Sweetie Belle at her party, the one age we do have, age five
if you compare that to how she looks now, she's become a much more defined filly. She's past the awkward stage, onto the adolescent stage, but still shy of adult. I have her pegged at roughly 8-10 now, which means 3-5 years have passed since that party.
Rarity, on the other hoof, looked about the same. I did a little research, and females tend to have the majority of their height by ages 13-14, making present day Rarity 16-19. That being said, I'm pretty sure she's around 19. It's a plausible age for her to be running her own boutique, but still having her parents check up on her and foisting her little sister on her while they travel.
Twilight, if you look at her, looks between Sweetie age five, and Sweetie age 8-10. I peg her at around 6-8. Rarity looked just a little older than Twilight in that episode, placing her at around 6-8, but likely at minimum at an earlier month. As in Twi in December while Rarity was in January. This is all conjecture, but I think it fits based on the models used. So, if Twilight is present day at around 18, Spike would be around 10-12, making him slightly older than the cmc, but still very young for a dragon.
Now, when he's 25 and she's 34-36, not so much of an issue. By then, Spike will have reached sexual maturity, and Rarity will be through with random crushes.
3701592
Rarity didn't look like five-year-old Sweetie Belle. Which could mean she was older than five, or it could mean that Rarity and Sweetie didn't look the same at age five. Children (and presumably foals) grow at different rates after all.
In the very same episode, the CMC all went ziplining. So there's certainly precedent for unusually mature activity on the part of foals. And that's without allowing for the influence of special talents.
Very true. Or, as I've already argued, they might only be a few years apart. Once again my point isn't to say that your headcanon is wrong. It's to say that it's only one of several equally possible interpretations of the show canon.
Just wanted to poke my head up to note that, despite my flagrant personal pro-dragon bias, it's conversations like this one that keep me from ever having any interest in writing Spike as a protagonist (except for extreme age-ups). I just don't want to get dragged into the endless debates.
Nothing against you guys, who are being uncommonly (and laudably) civil, but even this (relatively productive) debate is starting to circle around over covered ground to feel like a "someone is wrong on the internet" argument.
3702921
I have to admit, out of my huge number of story outlines, I only have one unwritten story starring Spike.
I don't consciously avoid Spike stories, though.
3699539
3699005
3699044
There are arguments to be made for every side of this. But, I digress.
Everyone just needs to chillax. I mean, its just cartoon characters and they're just stories about magical ponies.
I personally believe Spike's older, but its not a huge deal. To each their own.
3704476 Forgive me, but I would never 'chillax' i.imgur.com/jorT3.png
3704936
I'm half disappointed that wasn't an image of a frost axe.
3702921 Hearing that just makes me sad. Because anything you write can wind up being hotly debated (just ask TD about Dying to Get There). So why restrict yourself from writing Spike if that's what you really want to do?