I Have Committed Crimes, and Should Be Punished. Confessions From a Sick Mind · 9:50am Jan 9th, 2016
Hello, everyone.
There's a tradition within the monotheistic religions of confessing to one's sins in the hopes of being absolved. So here goes.
The past few days I've been engaged in some pretty questionable activities. The list is fairly long, but I'll get the most grievous ones out of the way first.
I've been beating up kids in the neighbourhood, often using some improvised weapons to do so. These weapons involved fireworks, broken bottles, and in my most fiendish moments even a car battery. I wasn't alone, mind you, nor did I do the most damage. My accomplice, who shall be referred to as Margarino, stuck to beating kids over the head with a hammer.
I helped vandalise a crippled kid's house, and pretty much demolished a whole school. I got away before the cops showed up, thankfully. Once the cripple was sufficiently beaten up (to be fair, he insulted my mother), I stole one of his crutches, because I'm a sadist like that.
I went and got myself a fake passport, and actually stripped off my clothes to barter for the picture. Can't say that was my proudest moment, but hey, I needed to get out of the country. Oh, and don't get me started on the crossdressing. The local girls made me do it, sort of as a blackmail.
I swore allegiance to Satan, and then proceeded to perform medicine without a license. Still waiting for legal advice on that one.
And finally, I made friends with a young transgender/crossdresser (not sure which), whom I then sent to certain death on numerous occasions, for no reason other than the fact that I just couldn't figure out how to react to the little guy/girl's quirks.
There is a point to this confession. Well, a few points.
1) South Park: The Stick of Truth is an awesome game, beyond awesome. It's one of those games that messes with you, gloriously and unapologetically.
2) Butters is best Paladin.
3) If Hasbro ever wants to make a decent MLP game, this is the standard. If they get the immersion and art style down as well as South Park Studios did, such a game will be printing money. Doubly so if it's on Steam. But that's doubtful.
And finally, my main point, the big pondering that stuck with me when I started playing this:
Anyone who thinks society is affected or corrupted by 'problematic' media clearly has missed the apocalypse that this game should have caused.
Note: yes, I realise I'm late to the party with this one. Don't act surprised. Mostly it took this long to find a store that sold Steam cards.
Take care,
Super Cereal Cracker
Hmm. In the same period of time you were swearing allegiance to Satan, Lucifer trapped me in a video game, not that well coded, at that, and repeatedly tried to get me to give him my soul, or at least tell him his game was good. He wasn't particularly pleased at all the times I hacked the various iterations of his game, to give myself pony lasers or to get enough exp for pony wings.
Not that I was that great at it, either. I tried to kill Jesus quite a few times before I settled for repeatedly dodging the stars he was throwing at me. Still, I got out of hell as a pony, leading the damned behind me.
Pony Island turns out to be a rather interesting game in itself. Maybe only a few hours of gameplay, but it was only $4.99...
[youtube=7vLzSh1UKgs]
--arcum42
Well, I was stripped naked by my probably delusional mother, escaped into the basement through a hole in my bedroom floor, and then defended myself by crying at zombies, vermin, and the forces of Hell. I subjected myself to horrific mutations and traumatic tortures to prepare for matricide, destroying my mother's still-beating heart, and eventually annihilating my own ego. I'm pretty sure I lost the self-defense excuse about halfway through that process.
I also bartered repeatedly with Satan, exchanging my very essence for dark powers... when I didn't just spurn his offers to grab the free snacks, or when the Krampus ambushed me en route to the Prince of Darkness.
3674290
3674221
Wow, society really is going down the tube these days, huh? I remember seeing reports of these things on the news
Strange how Satan is both of your games, but didn't make a cameo in Stick of Truth. He's, like, one of my favorite characters on the show, especially after that Beelzaboot thing. You just get recruited by his minions. Unless I missed him.
I was a happy child once. Fine family in my life. My dad was a great man and mom was kinda there off screen. Had a cool amulet. Maybe had a brother. Not sure because one day it all came crashing down. I saw my father get shot and killed. Don't know where mom went. I was all alone.
Until my old father's friend took me in and look after me for years. Twenty years I did nothing. My sin is sloth.
But not today - I'm getting off my ass and clicking my way to the top. My farther was a fighter and I too will become a fighter.
God have mercy on my soul (at least it's not clicker game).