When Ghost of Heraclitus takes painkillers... · 6:32pm Jan 8th, 2016
He gets very loopy. Below is the conversation about the mighty civilizations living in his nostrils.
[2016-01-06 9:31:25 PM] Ghost: Ow. Just... ow.
[2016-01-06 9:31:37 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: The less plague-ridden ferret pets gently
[2016-01-06 9:31:48 PM] Ghost: Within my head, Ferret, oh Ferret, are might Phlegm Engines
Constructed out of remains of dying suns by a long-vanished race.
And powered by stable singularities.
These convert all matter into Phlegm which even now seeps into yet further hidden channels, and damp curvaceous undulations of all 199 334 244 032 kilometers of my sinuses.
Ow.
[2016-01-06 9:33:57 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: sounds likely you have what i'm getting over. And what tach is coming down with
[2016-01-06 9:34:55 PM] Ghost: My sinuses, incidentally, and this is a fun fact for our weekly Science Fact Fun Corner Fact Fun, are home to over six separate civilizations. And a thriving ecosystem.
[2016-01-06 9:35:23 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: oh hon...
[2016-01-06 9:36:50 PM] Ghost: alas, by feel, I would suggest that the Ultimately Blessed Omniempire of Zlorf (situated just under my left cheekbone) has declared total war on the United Clans in Devotion to Gabargazon the Shrieker (a charming band of demon-worshiping cannibals that call my right cheekbone and the downlands at its base home)
[2016-01-06 9:37:14 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: I don't know whether to laugh or suggest you write
[2016-01-06 9:37:41 PM] Ghost: Even now, brave Clan warriors are dying in the trenches beneath Mt. Nose, the jewel of the sinsusiverse, many a king's and emperors bauble but nobody's for long
Currently the supposedly neutral Militant Order of Bluxxit claims it. But we know this is pure fiction until the spring thaw opens the passes. Then we'll see who's got boots on the ground. Or, rather, nose
[2016-01-06 9:39:41 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: Tell me more of these mad ravings?
[2016-01-06 9:40:02 PM]Ghost: Mmm? I speak not madness! But truth! Truth!
[2016-01-06 9:40:07 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: Tell me more of this truth
[2016-01-06 9:40:20 PM] Ghost: [[I have taken many painkilles. Possibly too many painkillers. Concievably all the painkillers. Also insomniac. Result: loopy.]]
[2016-01-06 9:41:02 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: best ghost when loopy
[2016-01-06 9:41:28 PM] Ghost: You don' care for it. You are like the others! You care nothing for the war dead! You care nothing for the sacrifice of Yatun Battalion in the third battle of the left nostril!
[2016-01-06 9:41:42 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: I care! I weep for their losses. The poor boys, lives cut short.
[2016-01-06 9:41:49 PM] Ghost: These proud sons and daughters heard the call of Zlorf and by Zlorf they answered! By Zlorf!
None of them know who Zlorf is, of course.
State secret.
[2016-01-06 9:42:49 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: Well naturally
[2016-01-06 9:42:50 PM] Ghost: It's called the Omniempire of Zlorf, of course, that's on all the signs, the coins, banknotes, commemorative plates, and miscellaneous porcelain bric-a-brac. Also on the flag
[2016-01-06 9:43:12 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: and souvenir flags I trust?
[2016-01-06 9:43:25 PM] Ghost: because the flag is just the word "Zlorf" in a heavily serifed font. Black on white.
Well! Sable on Argent.
[2016-01-06 9:44:00 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: no gules?
[2016-01-06 9:44:08 PM] Ghost: Can't annoy the heraldic types. Vicious when provoked.
Well!
[2016-01-06 9:44:20 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: Those animals are notoriously hard to train.
[2016-01-06 9:44:28 PM] Ghost: Some gules when you provoke them. In charges that are quite hard to interpret, very abstract. It's modernist heraldry
[2016-01-06 9:44:56 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: pollock or picasso?
[2016-01-06 9:45:04 PM] Ghost: they are trying, right, to deconstruct the concept of a shield, right like, what's a shield even mean man, who says we have to but coats of arms on it
[2016-01-06 9:45:30 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: history is so narrow-minded.
[2016-01-06 9:45:32 PM] Ghost: why not pants of legs, huh? ascots of torsos? But the establishment, right, just don't care, man.
[2016-01-06 9:45:49 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: I think the latter are called belts...
Back to the war front, how are the homebodies coping?
(I feel like I'm picking on you >.<)
[2016-01-06 9:46:22 PM] Ghost: Well! Zlorf protects them! Zlorf gives them succor. Whether they want him/her/it to or not. No choice in the matter, really. Most rather wouldn't.
Succor can be really sort of damp and crumbly. Bit yucky if you don't have the taste for it.
[2016-01-06 9:47:20 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: if you bake it at the wrong temperatures.
[2016-01-06 9:47:24 PM] Ghost: Oh, but Zlorf!
What a conceptual entity!
Did I mention Zlorf is the holy trinity? He/she/it totally is! Yeah, he/she/it's a mixture of onions, bell peppers and celery in the CELESTIAL GUMBO!
(Some said Jambalaya, obviously, but those were executed during the Third Purge)
[2016-01-06 9:49:29 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret: You can't have too many dissidents
[2016-01-06 9:49:56 PM] Ghost: True! True! Though if you run out you can replace 'em with unsmoked slab bacon, cut into chunks.
The CELESTIAL GUMBO thanks you for your offering, child. May you walk in deliciousness.
[2016-01-06 9:50:45 PM] The less plague-ridden ferret:
You should probably go to bed
[2016-01-06 9:51:01 PM] Ghost: This is probably wise.
Thus endeth the lesson.
This needs to be said. Ahem:
Phlegm. Let me tell you how much I've come to be filled with phlegm since I began to live. There are 199.33 quadrillion meters of living cells in vascular tissues that fill my sinuses. If the word "phlegm" was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of quadrillions of meters, it would not equal one one-billionth of the phlegm that would be found therein at this micro-instant. Phlegm for Zlorf. Phlegm. Phlegm.
Ghost makes us all into sadists, deriving amusement from his pain.
The celestial gumbo is gracious to fallen mankind say true
The last time I was conked on oain meds I just rambled incoherently about gyoza to Kitsune Risu
Hmm. I don't seem to have followed Ghost of Heraclitus for some silly reason. I've rectified that, as he has many interesting things to say, perhaps especially while on painkillers.
For many sleep deprivation and pain killers is a dangerous combination that can make you psychotic. I does not seem to affect Ghost.
Once, I left some celestial gumbo in the fridge too long. It declared itself Frolz, created an unempire with an argent-on-sable flag, and ordered its minions to attack Zlorf while stroking its obligatory goatee.
Last time I took holy leftovers home, I'll tell you what.
Ghost, from what I've gleaned, doesn't get drunk easily. But painkillers, boy howdy...
I think you should've goaded Ghost into talking more, Ferret. You would've ended up with a fully fleshed out fictional universe by the end of the night.
3672749
This reminds me of Robert Benchley's Through the Alimentary Canal with Gun and Camera, which is in turn like a cross between Fantastic Voyage and Gulliver's Travels.
3672749
Oh god yes