Fight Club Deleted Scenes

Fight Club was my first multichapter fanfic to be entirely written before posting as opposed to the serial method common with fanfics. As such, it went through many, many changes as ideas evolved, were dropped entirely, or rewritten. What follows are the scenes that were cut and an explanation for why they were cut. The scenes are totally unedited and any “gaps” that are found are because I usually write scenes in chunks and then connect them together. Those gaps would have eventually been written in had the scenes been kept. Just as with the story proper, there's plenty of fetish material to be found.

Fight Club started its life as a challenge to write a clopfic about my primary fetish. Even on 4chan, the flattening fetish is considered one of the more bizarre and strange ones, with the primary thread devoted to it almost always having “what is this/why?” in it several times. I would contend it's no different from other fetishes as it accomplishes the same basic purpose, but that's a subject for another time.

Because of its strangeness, there's not nearly as much “stimuli” for flattening as for, say, inflation. And when you narrow it down to a specific franchise like MLP, it gets even more barren. At present, there's maybe ten mlp fanfics in total that use the flattening fetish—and all but three or so use either the princesses or Twilight/Trixie.

So I decided I would try to contribute to the fetish by writing something for it. The scenario I choose was one I had already been using. I had started to incorporate “athletic” characters into the mix and decided to go from there for the story. It had three basic components. First, a bat pony joins a martial arts tournament and quickly defeats all of her opponents. Second, she basks in popularity and just when at her peak, defeats Dash. And third, it all comes crashing down due to the backlash and she's eventually flattened and defeated.

That basic plot is still there in the final story, but it took many, many turns.

Version 1.0

Fight Club had one of the hardest fanfic decisions I've had to make. The story's plot, complete with a vague outline, was known from the start. As the story was slowly written out, I grew less and less satisfied with the planned ending. Now, I don't know if this is common with clopfic writers or not, but I took a great deal of enjoyment from the clop I was writing. The ending did nothing, though. And if it did nothing for me, what was it supposed to do for the readers?

That dissatisfaction only grew as other elements of the story took shape. Midnight's greed in particular was at first only a convenient plot excuse, but grew into a much larger thing—with several fetish scenes written whole cloth just because of it. It eventually formed the backbone of what would become the ending—she'd turn herself in for the money, only for Twilight to come out on top.

The original ending was much different. The Night Guard fight would reveal the Vanguard's hand that she wouldn't get her bounty. She was then going to have one final “championship” fight with a character named Dawn. During the course of the fight, Dawn would reveal that she was Echo's younger sister, who had joined the fighting league in a quest for revenge.

Dawn would lure Midnight into the very same device (which was different from the steam press I ultimately used) that had flattened out Echo, and be flattened in the process. Midnight would then continue the theme of characters being flattened by their own plans by falling victim to the device and being flattened as well. Dawn's flattening was going to be much more severe than Midnight. She'd then move to cash in Dawn, only to be rebuffed by a Night Guard patrol and trapped pretending to be a cardboard cutout.

The final chapter would take place several months later, with the still flattened Midnight getting a job at the Health Institute of Equestria (think NIH) as a foalsitter. The foals would grow attached to their flat sitter and subsequently blackmail her, using the threat of turning her in to keep her. The story would end with her stuck as their bed/playmat for the foreseeable future.

While I really liked the Dawn fight idea, the foalsitter one grew more and more hated. Not only did it involve a plothole (why would the foals know about her bounty but the people that hired her didn't?) but as mentioned, the playmat/bed angle didn't do very much for me.

The turning point came with S5 and the introduction of a new athletic pegasus pony—Night Glider. Her character helped jump start the alternate ending that became the story's ending. Several weeks of debating what to do, and the new ending won out while the original got the axe.

First is the very short “Midnight vs. Dawn” scene, which obviously would have been longer. Note the “her apology.” With greed not originally being a motivating factor, Midnight was going to be much “kinder” and more remorseful over her actions.

~~~~~

“Gotmaahh.” Dawn mumbled from underneath Midnight.

Distracted from her apology, Midnight looked down at the pony cushion, “Wait, what?” She then looked up as a large metallic noise rang out and the opening she and Dawn had fallen through was sealed by a metal latch. Her attention was refocused on the light coming through the door's window. A door and window that looked very, very familiar to the bat pony. Midnight's blood ran cold and her athletic body tensed as she slowly realized where she was, “No. No, no, no, no, no.”

Midnight could only look around at the interior of the protein compressor and giggle nervously at her impeding fate, “Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Uh oh.”

~~~~~~

After the flattening scene, Midnight would then flop her flat form over to the fighting league's “office” to turn Dawn in and get her money. The warehouses hadn't even been thought up yet, so the fighting league's office looks vastly different. Here, Dawn is supposed to be flattened underneath Midnight. I never got around to explaining it better.

~~~~~~

Midnight wobbled her way into the building. The interior very much resembled a bank, with teller windows dotting the short hallway she was in. A little ways down, the hallway lead to a an open reception room with several more teller windows, each one rented out by a different company if the logos and pamphlets were anything to go by. The one by the entrance was apparently operated by the Night Guard, as it had a cardboard cutout of a batpony guard with the words “Join now!” printed in its base. She peeked her flattened head into the room. Get in, get her money, and get the next train ride out of town.

She could only hope her poor plants would be able to manage. She was able to take comfort in the fact that many were annuals and would be dead by the end of the season anyway, but it still was an unpleasant thought to know she'd have to abandon them to save her own two dimensional skin. She'd be able to start over with new plants anyway; hopefully in an area that actually had gardening needs-- she looked down at her flattened hooves—and maybe an air pump too.

Just as she was walking out of the hallway and to the fighting league's teller window, a pair of Night Guardstallions waked in from the hallway on the opposite side of the waiting room. Midnight skidded to a halt, her flat body folding in on itself, before she hastily flopped her way back to the cover of the hallway. She carefully looked. They had evidently not seen her.

The two guards walked up to the teller window, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know anything about the 'Underground Fighting League?' The Night Guard has been informed that this establishment is used as a recruitment and organizational post for the illegal organization.”

The bored stallion looked up from his magazine, “I have no idea what you're talking about. I get paid ten bits an hour to sit here, hand out brochures, and help ponies trade in things.”

“What kind of things?”

The stallion shrugged, “I don't know, and I don't ask. Alls I know is that if they present their ID and it matches one of the ones on this list,” he picked up a clipboard and handed it to the guard, “I take whatever junk they give me and give them some bits. Once a week, a cart comes by and loads up all the junk to take it somewhere.”

The guard showed the list to his companion, pointing at one of the names on it. Midnight couldn't make out what they were saying, but could have sworn she heard “trap” and “capture.” It seemed they were waiting for her. Mindight gritted her teeth in frustration. She had fought Dawn—she'd gotten herself flattened!--and she wouldn't even be able to cash in.

The guard returned the clipboard to the stallion, “Well, if you see anything suspicious, or related to the Underground Fighting League, please report it to the Night Guard.”

“Will do. If you're leaving, I'd suggest you hurry. The Bureau of Bureaucracy's going to be opening in a couple minutes and ponies will be swamping this place.”

The two guards nodded. They'd rather fight a necromancy Queen Twilight than have to handle the BoB. They hastily turned and started walking away before one of them turned back and handed the stallion a poster, “Oh, and if you see this mare, try to capture her. She's got a hundred thousand bit bounty on her head.”

The two guards started walking right toward Midnight. She ducked back into the hallway. What was she going to do?! She couldn't just leave. Those doors made a racket and even in her squashed state, she was too thick to slip through the cracks. She frantically looked for some way out before her panicked gaze fell on the cardboard cutout and the marker that was sitting on the counter above it.

She quickly grabbed the marker and hastily scribbled “Join now!” on her flattened out belly. Then she positioned herself in front of the cutout and pressed herself against it. She carefully positioned her wings to cover up the cutout's wings and squished her forehooves against her body. She sighed in momentary relief as she appeared to fit right in as a cardboard cutout. She than froze in place with a wide, nervous grin on her face as the guards approached.

“Man, Glaze, these cardboard cutouts are getting more and more realistic,” one of the guards said as he approached Midnight's cardboard-like body. She had to remain perfectly still or she was toast. Se suppressed the urge to gulp. If there was ever a time for Dawn to get her ultimate revenge, it was now. She could only hope the compressed and crushed mare either lacked the ability to do anything, or reveled in causing her a great deal of fear and stress.

“I know, right? It's amazing how good those cameras are starting to get. Just look at that purple mane, and those wide amber ey—” The guard froze mid sentence, before his brow furrowed and he picked up a wanted poster from his saddlebag, “Say, Shield, doesn't this cardboard cutout look familiar?”

Words do not do justice the dread that coursed through Midnight's veins. The worst part was she couldn't tell just what kind of tone the stallion had used. Was it “look who we just caught trying to hide in plain sight?” or a genuine, “this cardboard cutout looks just like her?”

“I'll admit, the resemblance is quite stunning.”

“Think it's actually her?”

The guard chuckled, “What, you mean she came here to cash in a paycheck at the exact moment we happened to walk by and is now stuck hiding awkwardly?”

“Weirder things have happened. Remember the vines? The Night Guard's been looking for a gardening expert ever since.”

Midnight's eye twitched involuntary. Of all the rotten things. Thankfully, they had been looking at each other and not her. Shield walked around the side and looked at how flat Midnight was, “One problem, Glaze.” he pointed at her flattened side, “Midnight Dream hasn't been squashed flat. She was able to take out Major Shadow and her squad without even losing half a dimension. How'd she somehow get flattened in a day?”

Glaze joined Shield in looking at her pancaked side, “I don't know. Got her tail caught in a wringer while doing laundry. Didn't look both ways when a steamroller was rolling past. Maybe her winning streak finally came to an end.”

Shield shook his head, “Nah. I think the Guard's just trying to cash in on the UFL's success. Once Midnight became a hit, they probably printed out dozens of these things to use in recruitment,” he looked over at his companion, “You heard that rumor this was all a setup by the Guard to recruit?”

Glaze chuckled, “Yeah, and if it was, Princess Twilight's going to be pissed at the Captain for what happened to her friend.” he looked down with narrowed eyes at Midnight's body and 2D cutie mark. She had begun to sweat due to the scrutiny. Really, all they'd have to do is poke her warm body to know she was really Midnight and not a cardboard cutout. She was a little surprised they hadn't already, “I guess you're right. I mean, that cutie mark looks off. You can even see some smudged ink where the printer messed up.”

Shield made his way to the doors, “Well then hurry up and let's go. That Bureau crowd's going to be here any second now.”

Glaze looked over, “Alright, alright, one sec.” He took a poster and some sticky tack from his saddlebag, placed the tack on the back of the poster, and pressed it firmly against Midnight's flat chest. She did her best not to react. The armored stallion stepped back to admire his work, before he joined his fellow guard outside.

Once she was sure they were gone, she blinked and sighed in relief. Being a cardboard cutout was no easy task, especially when one couldn't blink and had to stand perfectly still. She peeled her thin head off of the cardboard and looked down at her body. Attached to her chest was a wanted poster of herself. The poster used one of her publicity shots that had been taken after she had defeated Night. In the picture, Midnight stood proudly while the flat bat pony flapped like the cape she was behind her. Under the picture was the bounty “100,000 bit reward for her capture.”

She peeled one of her forelegs off and was about to remove the poster from her chest when she heard a group of ponies approaching from outside. Quickly, she pressed her head and leg back in their original position and closed her eyes—she didn't want to have to hold another staring contest. She heard the door burst open and several dozen ponies rush in. It seemed the Bureau of Bureaucracy had opened.

Midnight subtly opened an eye a crack to see what was going on. The dozens of ponies had made a single file line going out of the door. Each one held driver's licenses, registration, birth certificates and other documents they needed to do business with the Bureau. Panic started to swell in Midnight's cardboard thin chest as she saw the line's length and how slow it was moving.

It would probably be hours before the line was gone and all the while, she couldn't move lest she risk getting caught. She whimpered softly as she realized she was stuck there as a flat bat pony cardboard cutout for who knows how long.

End of Chapter Eight

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~~~~~~

This cut part was part of Chapter Eight before it was totally cut, specifically where the two guards talk to the attendant. I elected to cut this short snippet and rewrite it as it added some unfortunate implications to what happens to the “losers” of the fights. I always intended that to be totally up to the readers depending on their fetish. If it turned them on more to have the losers immediately “pop” back to normal soon after the fight's end, or have them stuck like that and used by others for months, years, etc. that was their prerogative. No sense in unnecessarily turning some people off.

The two guards walked up to the teller window, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know anything about the 'Underground Fighting League?' The Night Guard has been informed that this establishment is used as a recruitment and organizational post for the illegal organization.”

The bored stallion looked up from his magazine, “I have no idea what you're talking about. I get paid ten bits an hour to sit here, hand out brochures to ponies who walk up and ask for one, and exchange 'collectibles' with those who bring them in.”

The two guards eyed each other, “Collectibles?”

The stallion shrugged, “Yeah, you know, blankets, bottles, novelty plates—that sort of thing. They're kind of weird, though.”

“How so?”

“They kind of look like ponies. Some of them have faces, cutie marks, and everything. I never thought there was such a market for pony-themed merchandise—let alone one big enough to operate an exchange.”

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Chapter 9, the original final chapter of the story, took place several months after Chapter 8. In it, Midnight continued to elude capture and found employment working for the Health Institute of Equestria as a foalsitter for the sick foals staying there. As mentioned before, it created several fairly large plotholes over how the foals could know about her but the Institute's staff didn't. And while I enjoy the “being stuck as a playmat” angle, it just wasn't doing the ending justice and wasn't nearly as stimulating as I had first thought.

~~~~~~

For copyright/disclaimer information, see the prologue.

Chapter Nine: Midnight vs. Foals

After several thousand words of setup, the foals would give Midnight an ultimatum—play with them and become their “playmat” or they'd turn her in. It's also worth noting that this was the very first flattening scene I wrote for the story.

“No, no, no! Wait!” The foals ignored her pleas and rushed forward, pressing the hot irons against her already thin body. They started at Midnight's belly, pressing her bellybutton and lithe belly flat against the wall. Midnight grunted and groaned as the foals made quick work of her belly button and chest, “S-Stop!” While one pair of foals shifted focus to the desperate mare's hind legs and flank, another pair aimed at her still erect wings, intent on pressing them permanently in place.

Another gap.

The steam had done its job very well. Midnight was sitting upright, pressed flat against the wall. Her lean, muscular build caused her to resembled a poster of an athletic mare. Her forelegs were flattened against her chest and her leathery, soft wings were erect and just as flat as the rest of the poor mare's body. Midnight looked down at the satisfied foals, “Uuuggghhhhhhhh.” she groaned out before her paper thin body slide off the wall and gently fluttered to the ground. She settled onto the carpet—still stuck in the position the foals had placed her in.

Midnight tried in vain to peel her flat forehooves off of her equally as thin chest, but the steam had made sure her hooves would remain stuck in place for some time. “C-Can't move.” She mumbled through gritted teeth. Giving up on her hooves, she flexed her abdominal muscles and attempted to flop her squashed body off of the floor. Just as with her hoof efforts, she was unable to and remained stuck flat as a pancake on the carpet.

The group of foals approached their new playmat, their eyes glistening with excitement. They'd always liked Midnight and now would be able to spend all day with her. The best part was now she wouldn't have to leave at night—they could play on her during the day and sleep on her at night. They were going to have so much fun with her.

With most of her efforts at movement thwarted, Midnight tried one last time. She was relieved to find she was at least be able to lift her head from off the carpet. Upon doing so, she was able to look over her flat body. The ironing had had a much more severe impact than she thought it would have. Her forelegs were nearly flush with her chest. Her wings were fully erect and resembled paper cutouts of batpony wings instead of the real thing.

While she had always been flat chested, the irons had made that far more literal than she would have liked. Her belly was smooth and just as flat as the rest of her body, while her innie belly button was now very prominently displayed, it's depth significantly reduced from it's already thin state. As she had been sitting when the foals struck, her hind legs were at her side, bent in their sitting position. Her cutie mark was still as it had been after her meeting with the protein compressor—one half of the orange flower was on one side of her flattened flank, while the other half was on the other side.

While her condition was concerning, Midnight was more concerned by just how thin the foals had made her. While the protein compressor had slimmed her down to a half inch thick, the steam pressing had flattened her out to half that thickness. She gulped. Anymore shenanigans and her body wouldn't have any depth left.

The throwrug mare looked up from her body and into the gleaming eyes of a dozen foals that now sat around her in a semi circle. They had been waiting for this day for quite some time. Midnight's amber eyes darted nervously from one foal to another, “Heh, heh, heh. C-Can't we work something out? Something that doesn't involve me being a bed?”

“We could always call da Guard and get da bits.” one of the foals squeaked out.

Midnight bit her flat lip. She had the distinct feeling the foals wouldn't simply let her go in three months—not if that bounty was still hanging over her head. On the other hand, given how vindictive Princess Twilight was being, who knows what would happen to her if the Night Guard got a hold of her—alicorn magic's much more powerful than a protein compressor, after all.

If you're wondering what a “protein compressor” is, that's next.

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

After the original ending was scrapped and Night Glider entered the picture, the whole ending scenes changed. By this point, I had decided to use different locations for each chapter, in a vain attempt to mix up the repetitive fight scenes a little. The Midnight-Night Glider fight originally took place in the woods. It was then moved to the Castle of the Pony Sisters. The plan was to keep the protein compressor and have Night Glider use it against Midnight just as Dawn was originally going to. But then I got a better idea. If it was taking place in the old castle, why not use the castle more?

But what is a protein compressor? It was a device that was supposed to be used for compressing meat substitutes into thin, easy to transport blocks. Like most of the flattening scenes in the story, it was based on a preexisting flattening scene. In this case, a [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO5R34Dep9Q]short scene[/url[ from Dexter's Lab. It was also without a doubt the most bizarre flattening method out there.

It originally played a huge role in the story. It was to be Midnight's primary method of flattening her opponents. This is why two endings employed it against Midnight—she'd suffer the same fate Night Terror and Dash had, being defeated by her own devices. But as other ideas came in, the compressor was just left with fewer and fewer scenes until the concept of Midnight getting hoist by her own petard was lost entirely.

It was also a millstone. Not only was it weird even for flattening fetish standards, but it made little sense in the context of the story. The placement, use, and design was just too far out of left field and it was the biggest example of something that just could not make the transition from mental fantasy to story. So it was entirely excised from the story.

As a result, Midnight's flattening would be due to a booby trap in the castle—which fits much better than Twilight having a compressor installed there (the excuse I was going to use). I also liked it since it it was so average. The protagonist of the story wasn't defeated by some special circumstance or plot point, but by an ordinary trap that could have just as easily squashed anybody else. There's just something stimulating about that for me.

Since the compressor had to go, so did what was written. However, I really liked the descriptions and so you can see some big similarities between Midnight's post-flattening here and the one in the finished story. Also notice how that first paragraph is similar to the Dawn one from earlier. One of the great joys of saving deleted scenes is later mining them for content—even if that content also ends up getting deleted.

~~~~~~

Midnight stood up and shook her head. That was some kick that dark blue pegasus had. She looked around the metal chamber she had landed in. A chamber that looked disturbingly familiar. The metal door slammed shut with the sound of it sealing. Midnight stared wide-eyed at the door and porthole of the protein compressor. She could only giggle nervously at her impending fate, “Heh. Heh. Heh. Heh. Heh. Heh. Uh oh.”

Here is where the lengthy, detailed scene describing Midnight slowly being flattened out by the compressor would have been.

Midnight wobbled her way out of the compressor, her body flat as a pancake, “Ooooouuuuuuuhhhhhhhh.” She moaned as she dizzily sat down a few feet outside the device. Her flat body wobbled and flapped in place as she strained to keep herself upright. The urge to just give up, relax, and let herself curl up tightly like a scroll was nearly overwhelming. She'd already lost, after all. Why not have Night Glider carry her rolled up body back to Twilight?

As tempting as it was, she fought off the urge. There was still a chance—however small—that she'd be able to somehow escape. If she rolled herself up, she'd forfeit that chance. She glanced weakly over at the pegasus that had finally defeated her. Night Glider hovered in the air a few feet away, admiring her handiwork with a grin.

Midnight bent her squashed head down and stared at herself. The protein compressor lived up to its name as it always did. Her sleek muscular build was now a quarter inch thick. She marveled at just how thin she had become. Her body was so flat that her cutie mark had been flattened onto both sides of herself—half of it on front side of her flank and half of it on the back side, with the small middle section of it on what little thickness she had.

Turning her attention from her cutie mark to her lithe belly, she slide a squashed hoof against it. Her abdominal muscles had been just as flattened as every other muscle in her body. She was a little relieved to find her innie belly button still intact, albeit significantly shallower and flatter than it had previously been. She had always liked belly buttons.

She then bent her flattened head down to look at her chest. Her athletic build had always meant she was flat chested, but she had never thought it would be quite so literal. She noticed the subtle movement of her chest as she breathed. It seemed not even being flattened could fully stop her body's depth. Much to her growing frustration, neither her gray shoulders nor her now ribbon-like forelegs and been spared the effects of the machine.

It was a protein compressor. There had to be some part of her that hadn't been affected by it's crushing abilities. She looked over her shoulder and at her back, bending around her flat chest and upper body in the process, hoping to find some part of her that hadn't lost its third dimension. It seemed her body was considerably more agile and flexible than it had been before.

While her back arch was still mostly intact, it was the same story as her belly and chest had been. Every part of her—from her tufted ears, to her purple tail—had been squashed flat. At least she made for a pretty good looking bat pony cutout. She smiled slightly. Who knows? Maybe somepony would be willing to rent her as a sign or something. Signs were highly sought after and she'd be of the highest resolution possible. Not to mention bat ponies were all the rage these days. Her days as a fighter may be over but there was always opportunities to make some extra bits.

Night Glider stared down at the pony she had defeated. The gray bat pony had been flattened out by the Cloudsdale Weather Corporation's device. She still scratched her head wondering why such a machine existed. Surely compressing synthetic meat could be done with a much less... pony accessible design? She shrugged off the thought. It was a moot point. Midnight Dream had used it for her own nefarious ends and now she knew what it was like.

Speaking of Midnight, the thin mare seemed to be lost in thought as she looked down at her flattened body. And man, what a flattened body it was. Night had never thought things like that could happen, but Midnight was currently demonstrating just how possible it was. Midnight's gray, muscular body was wafer thin. She was amazed the pony could even sit upright given her current circumstances.

[insert connecting scene here]

Night hadn't been keeping up with sports news lately—if there was one flaw living in a former cult town had it was the lack of news access—so she hadn't been swept up in the hysteria surrounding the underground fighting league.

If she was honest wit herself, it sounded like a pretty cool idea. Getting to duke it out with other ponies and challenge yourself in the process—all while getting paid? No wonder Rainbow Dash had signed right up. From the way Twilight had talked, though, it wasn't nearly as romantic as it sounded—and she'd seen what had happened to Dash first hoof.

Night winced at the thought. Those enchantments were ancient. Neither the princesses, nor that council full of unicorns with too much time on their hands could undo them. Twilight had been kicking herself ever since Dash convinced her to use them. It would take weeks or even moons to figure out a counter-enchantment. At least Dash seemed content.

This lead her thoughts back to the flat mare that sat in front of her, gazing at her equally as flat navel.

She was probably contemplating where her evil plans had all gone wrong.

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Chapter 4 had a slightly different premise and was originally going to be more styled after Ascend's “News” chapter. It was to have three separate news stories that made up most of its length with a short introductory scene with Midnight. It was actually the first part of Fight Club I wrote as I was a little apprehensive about doing the clop scenes initially and started on a non-clop section. As the story was gradually filled in around it, I elected to take a different, more story-intensive route with the chapter and so it was cut.

This was also the very first scene written for the story.

~~~~~~

Midnight looked skeptically at Justified, “This isn't just some kind of gimmick, is it? 'Cause I don't want ponies getting the wrong impression about either me or the fighting thing.”

Justified patted Midnight reassuringly on the back, “Of course, of course. Sports Weekly prides itself on its standards. We only publish the most journalistically sound materials.”

Midnight let out a sigh of relief, “That's good.”

Equestria's new dangerous sport

It's the craze that's sweeping the nation.

Secret underground fighting ring features military personnel

Revelations over the so called “Equestrian Fighting Tournament” continue. The unauthorized organization—which has staged hundreds of fights over the last eight months and has grown wildly in popularity since its inception—has stirred up significant controversy. The violent fights often end with the loser suffering Acute Transmogrification Syndrome while the winner receives a hefty payday.

Now, the Equestria Times has learned from unnamed sources that a significant part of the tournaments fighters—as much as 80%--originated from the ranks of Equestria's armed forces. The Equestria Times acquired crystal rods with the over a dozen fights recorded on them and compared the combatants in them with military records. Seven of the fighters in the recordings were current members of the Night Guard, while three others were either active or reserve members of the Wonderbolts.

When reached for comment outside of a meeting with Their Majesties regarding the ongoing firestorm over the changeling morphegenic virus, Night Guard Captain Aurora Borealis stated, “Those fights are really fun to watch. I especially like their unique endings. As long as they follow the Code of Ethics and Equestrian law, what Night Guard personnel do in their free time is up to them.”

The Code of Ethics of the Armed Forces has no provision regarding unsanctioned fights, nor does it currently disallow activities like those found in the “Equestrian Fighting Tournament.”

EXCLUSIVE: Money and Fame, One Mare's Quest To Become Equestria's Top Fighter

Twelve of Midnight Dream's seventeen victories have come from her use of the Protein Compressor. When reached for comment, a spokespony for the Cloudsdale Weather Corporation—the manufacturer of the Compressor—said, “The Protein Compressor is a device designed for easily storing and shipping synthetic meat products. It is not designed, nor should it ever be used for, compressing live tissue. The Cloudsdale Weather Corporation has no control over how its customers use the device and recommends that all users operate the device within its specified perimeters.

Rumors continue to swirl about the mysterious Underground Fighting League. Even their top fighter's been left in the dark, “I've got no idea who's in the fighting league. All I know is they tell me were and when my next fight is and I show up. Afterward, I take the, uh, losing fighter to an office somewhere and get paid.”

“What about those that say it's a covert Night Guard recruitment drive?”

Midnight crinkled her nose, “That'd be funny, considering I starting doing all this just so I could avoid getting involved with them.”

~~~~~~

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Version 2.0

Once I changed out the ending, things settled down a little. The chapters slowly but surely filled up and the final plot that became the story was fleshed out. Still, there were some pretty big changes that happened. These cut scenes go in order from the Prologue to Chapter 12.

Funnily enough, the Prologue and Chapter 1 were actually the last things finished. First chapters of multichapter fics are pretty hard as you want to get the reader interested, all while setting up the story. I struggled with trying to figure out a good “hook” that would draw in readers so they were interested enough to see the second chapter.

I settled on starting the Echo fight at the end of the Prologue to serve as the “hook.” So I went through and started writing Midnight's introduction to the fighting league. It was only after I'd gotten a little ways in that I realized it would fit so much better to have that introduction actually take place at the location of the fight rather than in Hollow Shades proper. So I cut what I did and started over.

Note the “fern scene” is basically intact in the final version. I really liked it, it helped establish Midnight's character, and it was easy to transplant—every warehouse has an office.

~~~~~~

She glanced over her shoulder at the pile of bills that still sat menacingly on her table. Did she really have much of a choice?

-----

Midnight landed on the sidewalk and looked around. Downtown Hollow Shades was always nice. A few dozen multistory brick and wood buildings lined the streets, their bottom floors home to shops and businesses hoping to lure in pedestrians, while their upper floors were home to apartments, offices, or, more likely, the Night Guard used them for military purposes.

Because if there was one thing in Hollow Shades, it was the Night Guard. Their ever presence, whether it be the military base a few miles down the road she could just see the barbed wire gate of, or the cartoony chalk drawings of armored bat pony guards that many of the shops and restaurants front signs had, couldn't help but be seen. Without them, Hollow Shades would likely just be a tiny village tucked away in the dense forest that surrounded it instead of a quint town of thousands.

She waved to a group of bat ponies foals who were entering the park on the other side of the street as she walked along. Several kites wobbly balanced on their backs. No doubt, they were trying to take advantage of the blustery spring day. She looked over at the address on the brick building next to her. That was definitely it.

Huh. It was right next to her bank. That'd be convenient if she actually made some money from this little venture. She walked in the door and was met by a stallion sitting behind a desk. The room was pretty cramped. A bench was pressed against the window and that coffee table that sat in front of the bench really shouldn't have been there. There was hardly any leg room.

She tried to ignore the hideous fake fern that sat in the corner. Why? Why would somepony do such a thing? It was a mockery—a shallow, false imitation—of the real thing. Why would somepony want to mock the elegance and uniqueness—what other vascular plants reproduced with spores—of a fern?

The stallion looked in bewilderment at the bat pony who was glaring at the dusty fern in the corner, “Uh, Miss? Can I help you?”

She looked away from the disgusting fern and at the stallion, “Oh, yes. I got a flyer in the mail about a,” she looked down at the flyer, “'Underground Fighting League' and possible employment I may find.”

“Ah, I see,” he stood up and opened the door near the desk. “If you'll come with me, I'll introduce you to Bill Booking, the League's fight manager for the Hollow Shades region.”

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

The prologue originally had some exposition that “set up” the setting. I scrapped it partly due to the telly nature of it—I realized I could show Hollow Shades much better in the various fights Midnight would have—and because it was just relatively useless. There's not any real reason to know Hollow Shades' backstory since it plays no role with the clop or the plot. So it got cut to try and tighten the bloated word count (which failed since the rewrite ended up being longer).

~~~~~~

Hollow Shades was a lovely town. Nestled in the valley between the Foal Mountains and the Neighagra Range, the town was most famous for two things—being entirely surrounded by some of the densest non-Everfree forest in Equestria, and having a population almost entirely of bat ponies. The heavy forestation meant the town was fairly isolated from the rest of the country, despite only being an hour train ride to Manehatten and Fillydelphia.
That isolation proved perfect for the secretive Night Guard, which built its only military installation—the Crescent Moon Military Base—a short distance away several centuries earlier. As the Night Guard's presence grew, so did the bat pony population. Eventually, the town and the Night Guard became nearly synonymous with each other.

The town wasn't very large. It only had a main street with several side roads branching off before stopping at the forest's edge. This was due to a combination of its unique presence within a forest and the fact that the Night Guard were the primary employers and so, there weren't too many job openings.

On one of these side streets, nestled on a corner lot, sat a small stone cottage.

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

As mentioned, first chapter's can be tough—especially when you already have the rest fo the story written. I needed to cram all that introductory information about the fighting league and its setup into the Prologue. The first attempt was less than ideal and I decided to rewrite it in the hopes it didn't come off as blatantly expospeaky.

~~~~~~

We're the Underground Fighting League, a new sports venture that's being organized. The “Underground” in the name is partly marketing and partly descriptive. Unlike boxing or martial arts, these one-on-one fights have no real rules or boundaries and take place in everyday settings.

“The fighters are assigned to each other based on a variety of factors. A date and location is set in advance and each fighter is given some information on their opponent and their tactics. This whole thing's new and unregulated, so it's very much preferable you don't beat your opponent to a pulp. We don't want to get sued and I'm sure you don't want to get arrested.”

“As this is a business venture, the fights will be recorded, edited, and then sold to the viewing public via recording crystals imported from the Crystal Empire. You will, of course, be compensated accordingly for your participation and, if you beat your opponent, victory. And that about covers it. What do you say?”

She'd expected some kind of martial arts setup and referee, but totally unregulated? Was that even legal? Of course, there were far more pressing concerns than legality, “How much will I get paid?”

He chuckled. Money seemed to be her primary focus. That was good, “You'll get at least five hundred bits your first fight—regardless if you win or lose. A thousand if you win.” Only five hundred? That didn't seem like that much. He could almost sense her skepticism, “Like I said, the pay scale goes up from there. You keep on winning and entertaining our audience, and you get paid more.”

More bits. Who could pass up a chance like that? “Alright, let's say I'm interested. What do I do?”

His smile really didn't seem all that reassuring, “Follow me,” he stood up and walked out of the office. Midnight followed, “Before we draft a contract for you to sign—standard legal stuff, you know—there's just one other thing that we need to do,” he opened a metal door and the two walked through.

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Chapter's 1-3 went off flawlessly and were all written without any major scenes deleted or rewritten. But after Chapter 4 was altered to its finished state, I realized there was something missing. The whole chapter lacked any fetish scene. I had thought about centering the chapter on a reporter following one of Midnight's fights but realized that would balloon an already long word count into five digits and dropped the idea before I wrote it.

So I decided to play up the greed angle that was steadily becoming a major plot element. Midnight would be flattened halfway through the story in exchange for some extra cash. I'm not the biggest fan of diskings, but decided to press forward with one. Ultimately, though, I felt Midnight getting flattened this early in the story took something away from the ending—having her spend the whole story avoiding getting flattened, only to fail right at the end just pumps out a little extra stimuli for me.

So the disking got cut and Chapter 4 became strictly about the plot. I would later decide against including a dream sequence where Night Terror gets her revenge for the very same reason.

~~~~~~

“What do you mean 'bonus material?'” Midnight looked off of the stage and eyed the large wooden mallet one of the assistants was bringing over.

“Sports Weekly wants to give its readers the most for their bits. Having some publicity shots of you is great and all, but getting several additional photos of you would provide a great boost. You're undefeated after all, and I'm certain two of the pressing questions on everypony's mind is 'can she be defeated' and 'what would she look like if she was?'”

Was he out of his mind?! She was here to make a quick buck, cash in on her ten minutes of fame, and maybe tour the Wall Ton Botanical Gardens if she had some extra time. Getting crushed into the shape of a manhole cover was not on her list of things to do. It's like everyone was out to get her or something.

Midnight hastily backed away from the mallet, a nervous glint in her eyes, “No, no, no, no, no, no! This was not part of the deal. 'Some nice picture of you for the cover.' not 'Some pictures of you squashed flat as a pancake.'” She crossed her forelegs, “I'm nearly flattened out enough during these fights as it is. I do not need this, and I'm definitely not just going to stand around and let you flatten me into a disk.”

“Are you sure? Rest assured it wouldn't be a long-term thing.” Justified gestured to another nearby assistant with a bike pump held in her telekensis, “You'd be back to normal within an hour.” Midnight merely glared at the editor in response. Justified faked a sigh, “That's a shame, then. Since it would be bonus photos, it's not covered by our agreement,” He smirked, “I guess we'll just have to spend that extra five thousand bits on somepony else.”

“F-Five thousand bits?!” In an instant, Midnight was standing right next to the mallet, “So, ah, where did you want me to stand again?”

“Oh, right there's just fine,” He looked to the various photographers, “Cameras ready.” Tripods and cameras were hastily re-positioned and refocused so they had Midnight's body in their sights, “Proceed with the shoot.”

Midnight looked at Justified, unaware that the mallet was being hoisted up by one of the bulky interns, “I just want to make one thing clear: you only get one shot at this. If you screw this up somehow, I'm not going to—” She heard a grunt of excretion from the intern and quickly turned back around to see the mallet coming full force at her. She flattened her ears against her head as she stared wide-eyed at her impeding fate, “Eeep.” On second thought, five thousand bits wasn't really worth this. Her muscles tightened in anticipation of the impact.

It slammed into her head full force. She reflexively shot her forelegs up to try and contain the blow, but it was moving far too fast for her and with too much momentum for her to stop it. The mallet continued down unabated, causing Midnight's body to quickly buckle under its pressure. Her efforts to use her muscles to absorb and block the mallet failed and she was quickly squashed down against the ground, her hind legs and flank were neatly pressed flat against the ground, while her forelegs and face were pressed against the mallet's face.

The many cameras' shutters clicked rapidly as the event unfolded, taking in every moment with hundreds of pictures that could later be sifted through by the Sports Weekly's staff. After the mallet had fully flattened Midnight down, the intern lifted it back upward so the photographers could get a closer look at the pancaked pony.

Midnight, however, had become stuck to the mallet's surface. Her crumpled hind legs, tail and cutie mark could all be seen flattened out against the mallet. Her athletic body had been crushed into a disk shape as well. The intern shook the mallet a couple of times to dislodge the crushed mare while the cameras continued to capture the moment.

Finally, after a few good shakes, Midnight fell from the mallet and rolled around on the floor like a coin before coming to a rest, “Uhhhhhhhhaa,” she moaned. Her forelegs and been flattened out at the edges of her disked body while her face was pressed flat in the middle. Her amber eyes spun around dizzily and her teeth were gritted tightly. Her purple mane was flattened down, with several of her bangs covering parts of her face.

A detailed description of Midnight's disked body would continue here before she was inflated with the bike pump back to normal to resume the rest of the chapter.

Midnight shook her head to clear it of the fog, “I'd rather deal with collection agents than go through that again.”

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Chapter 5's Spitfire fight was going to originally take place in the generic industrial laundromat that pretty much every flattening fetish fic has, and would later be used in Chapter 9. After writing a little of the fetish scenes, I decided that it would be better to toss the whole thing into a little more original setting and scrapped it in favor of a fight in Cloudsdale's weather facilities.

~~~~~~

“C'mon, Midnight, is this how the Night Guard really fights? Running and hiding?” Spitfire looked around at the many machines that were running, trying to see where the grey pony had run to, “I knew the Wonderbolts were superior but you're not even trying.” Spitfire shook her head while she kept searching, “You have to at least make this interesting.

Connecting scene would have gone here.

The two rolled around several times until Midnight kicked Spitfire off of her. Spitfire staggered back several feet before she hit something. She looked down at the bat pony, “I'll give you this, you're certainly more difficult tha—ah!” At that moment, Spitfire felt something yank her tail. Instinctively, she reared onto her forelegs and bucked at whatever it was that was pulling her. She felt her hooves get pinched.

“What the?” Spitfire jerked her head around to see what was pinching her hooves. Her eyes widened as she saw her tail and rear hooves disappear into a large wringer, “Oh no.” She quickly tried to pull her legs and tail from a flat fate but the wringer continued to pull her in. Panic rapidly swelling up, she looked to the bat pony, “M-Midnight! You gotta help me.” She looked back and saw most of her tail and rear legs had now been pressed thin, “You can't have the fight end like this.”

Midnight smiled. Once she had learned they'd be fighting in an industrial laundry, she figured something like this would happen. It's why she had made sure to keep her tail close to her body during the whole fight. Better to be flattened by your opponent than by carelessness. She pondered for a moment whether she should help the yellow pegasus. On the one hoof they'd be able to have a “fair” fight—whatever that meant. On the other, not only did letting Spitfire become more aerodynamic mean she'd get paid faster, but helping her risked her not letting go and dragging Midnight in with her.

“Sorry, Captain Spitfire, but discretion's the better part of valor. Don't want to risk getting caught with you, now do I?” Midnight watched as Spitfire's flank and waist was crushed by the wringer.

Like with the final version of the Spitfire flattening scene, she was to go through several flattenings. Here is where a steam press scene would have gone that was later employed in Chapter 1.

The heavy steam press opened to reveal Spitfire's pressed flat body.

Followed by another connecting scene.

Spitfire gently floated back and forth to the ground. Her body slide softly against the tile floor once she landed. Her large orange eyes looked over to Midnight, “I-Is it over?” she groaned out.

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Chapter 5's “rough draft” was far rougher than the other chapters. I elected to go through it and try to improve it. One part that needed improvement was the start of the Midnight-Spitfire fight. I didn't want to do an intro scene like in Chapter 3 due to the already long word count for the chapter (plus it wouldn't be as fun to write). I elected to do one of those comedic comedy cut's to the fight, but didn't like either the pacing or the content, and so decided to scrap it and try again.

~~~~~~

She nodded, “Absolutely.”

-----

Midnight had never flapped her wings this hard before in her life. She winced as she burst through a cloud, “Sorry about that!” she called back. That family didn't really need that load bearing wall. They could remodel, anyway. A pink stallion jumped out of the way as she crashed through his fruit stand, sending oranges, limes, and coconuts flying, “My bad!” She grabbed one of the coconuts in mid-air and flung it at the yellow streak that was nipping at her purple tail.

Spitfire effortlessly did a roll to evade the palm fruit, “Gonna have to do better than that, I'm afraid,” Midnight followed it up with a lime.

She could throw as many fruits and vegetables as she liked. It wasn't going to stop the Wonderbolt and it certainly wouldn't end the fight. She hadn't actually fought Spitfire yet—the second the pegasus took off, she bolted. She wasn't about to be caught in the middle of a strafe without a shield handy. Who knows? Maybe that horrid reputation the Wonderbolts had really was well founded. Maybe Spitfire was terrible at actually fighting and this was all one giant bluff?

She slammed on the brakes. Spitfire did the same, only made sure to still travel forward and slam into Midnight's back with her hooves. Midnight grunted in pain and turned around, only for the pegauss to punch her in the face. She might have been a little too optimistic with that bluff theory. Instead of just hovering there and letting the pegasus use her as a punching bag, she dove down and tried to fly around Spitfire.

Spitfire only shook her head in amusement. She would have thought the Night Guardpony knew about the Wonderbolts edge when it came to dogfights. Oh well. Makes this fight a lot easier. She sped off in pursuit of the bat pony and very quickly was right on her tail once more, keeping up with every turn and weave she made.

Midnight looked back. This really wasn't working. Her initial suspensions about the Wonderbolt Captain were—wait, where she go? Midnight slowed as she stared behind her and then frantically around, trying to locate the yellow fur and orange mane, but Spitfire had just disappeared. She slowed as she intensified her search. Spitfire couldn't just disappear. Pegasi didn't have cloak—

Spitfire shot out of the cloud she had slipped into and slammed into Midnight, knocking the wind out of her and causing her leathery wings to seize up for a moment. Midnight shook her head and steadied herself in the air. She was really lucky Spitfire hadn't hit anything important. Spitifre hovered several yards away, smirking.

It was no use. Spitfire was Captain of the Wonderbolts

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

When I write, I have a tendency to let the scene go in whatever direction it wants—even if that direction ends up opposite to what I wanted. As part of the “Doppler-Cyclone” scene that replaced the above, it originally ended with the two awkwardly leaving the house, when it was supposed to involve the auto show that was going on outside. Instead of keeping it, I opted to force the scene into its original direction and cut the unwanted part.

~~~~~~

Midnight sat up and shook her head. Spitfire was quick. Really quick. She needed to... duck! An end chair flew over her and landed in the foyer. She turned her head just in time to see the yellow blur slam into her, “Oaf!” The two ponies rolled around on the wood floor before she was able to kick Spitifre off of her.

“Do something, honey, before they reach the antiques cabinet!” Doppler ribbed her husband, “Be the stallion you always said you were.”

Cyclone stood up, “What are you two doing in my house!?”

Midnight paused midair, just as she was about to dropkick Spitfire into some old cabinet full of fine china, and stared at the couple. Spitfire did likewise. Oh yeah. This wasn't a warehouse. The bat pony fluttered gently to the floor and grinned sheepishly, “Uh, sorry. Kinda got caught up in the moment.”

Spitfire stiffened slightly, “Our apologies.”

Both ponies awkwardly made their way to the front door. Midnight fumbled for a moment with the brass doorknob before it mercifully opened and she was able to walk out onto the front porch. Spitfire shuffled behind her. Talk about killing the mood.

“Wait, where do you think you two are going?!” Cyclone jumped into the foyer and stared at the two athletes standing on his porch, “My dining room wall is gone! Who's going to take responsibility here?”

Midnight shoved Spitfire back into the house, “Spitfire did it!” Wit that, she zipped into the air and tried to get as much ground between herself and the no doubt angry and flustered Wonderbolt as she could. It was a great plan, if a bit foalish. Spitfire would be stuck there for an hour dealing with the collateral damage, while she staked out one of the pony free zones. The Weather Factory was probably closest.

She smiled to herself as the chilly spring air flowed through her purple mane. She could figure out just what was inside that factory. Given how her fights had gone so far, she should probably take note of any devices that could flatten somepony out. There were bound to be a couple of wringers or presses in Equestria's primary weather production facility.

“And where do you think you're going?”

“Ahh!” Midnight faltered as she flew and was just able to dodge out of the way of Spitfire as she shot past. Why was she there so fast? She wasn't supposed to finish dealing with that home owner yet, “Why are you here?”

Spitfire hovered in front of her, “It doesn't take an hour to apologize and give them the league office's phone number.” she looked over at Midnight's leathery wings, “And given your incredibly poor flight abilities, it was easy to catch up.”

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Chapter 6 had a few deleted scenes. The intro to the chapter started differently. I wanted to really drive home the point that Midnight—an OC—was going to be fighting one of the Mane 6—the one who is generally considered to be the most athletic—and how crazy such a notion really was. Ultimately, I didn't like the resulting shower scene too much and opted to scrap it. A lot of Midnight's doubts in the scene were later recycled into other chapters, however.

It's also worth noting that most of the chapter's bottling scene was written in one 2,500 word outing in February and was later heavily edited to actually place it in the park that's featured in the chapter. As such, it is the oldest scene in the story that remained in the final version.

~~~~~~

Midnight sighed in relief as the soothing hot water shot onto her body from the shower head. Yup, this was exactly what she needed. She ran a hoof through her short purple mane and stuck her head under the stream of water. Just for a little while she could stop worrying. No bills. No most likely toxic green ooze seeping into her basement from the cracks in the asbestos tiles. No thirty thousand bit fight with Rainbow Da—her eyes shot open.

No, no, no. Relax. She grabbed a bar of soap and started stroking her back with it, watching as her wet, gray fur became saturated in a froth of white bubbles. Don't think about that. Don't think about just how much money thirty thousand bits was. She let the soap drop with a loud clunk into the porcelain tub and massaged her sudsy back with a hoof. Yeah, just relax and enjoy the hot shower.

With her back now clean, she turned her attention to her wings. If there was one benefit of being a bat pony, it was that there was no need for any annoying preening. She grabbed the soft brush from its holder on the wall, soaped it up, and started gently caressing her leathery appendages. She let out another relaxed sigh as her wings twitched and spasmed at the sensation of the brush as it scrubbed over their hard skinny surface.

Thirty thousand bits could buy her all the brushes she'd ever need. All she'd need to do is take out the Element of Loyalty. No! No, no. None of that, now. She grabbed a bottle of shampoo from off the tub's lip and squirted it onto her purple tail.

Another gap that was to be later filled in.

“I could just quit now. Just stop,” Midnight splashed some water onto her already drenched face, “Don't be greedy, Midnight. You've made enough bits. You don't need any more,” she dabbed the bath towel on her wet mane, “You've fought enough. You've strained yourself enough. You can just stop,” she looked up at the mirror and the tired amber eyes that stared back at her, “You can just tear that contract up and retire.”

And retire to what?

Same as above.

She grabbed the towel that was draped on her porcelain tub's lip and dried her head and mane off.

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

This short scene originally ended Chapter Six. I wanted to specifically mention the length the enchantment was supposed to last, so as to provide some additional stimuli, but as work progressed on the story, Midnight was never actually depicted turning her opponents in. I decided the scene was rather awkward as a result and cut it, opting to place the enchantment length reference earlier in the chapter.

~~~~~~

One quick jog later and the bat pony and her bottled foe walked into the nondescript building. Midnight placed the bottled Dash on the receptionist's counter and after verifying who the two ponies were, the stallion went to retrieve Midnight's pay. While he was getting Midnight her money, she looked at Dash, “This has been bugging me since we left, but I've been wondering. How long is the enchantment on that bottle supposed to last?”

Dash looked up from the counter, “W-Well, Twilight said up to a year. Why?”

Midnight winced. She could only thank Luna she hadn't been caught in that bottle. A year was an awfully long time—even if she would have been content at her compression, “Oh, no reason.”

The stallion returned with a bag that caused bit signs to dance merrily in Midnight's head. That would be a few less bills she'd have to worry about. Midnight happily grabbed the bag of bits while the stallion picked up the condensed pegasus and did whatever it was the fighting league did with the losers. What they did with Dash was none of her business. She had her money and ultimately that's all she cared about.

It's not as though beating and bottling the Element of Loyalty would have any repercussions for the bat pony.

End of Chapter Six

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Chapter 7 underwent several changes. The first was that the Chapters 7 and 8 were originally one—a theme that would repeat for 8 and 9 and what became 10-12. The Garbonza played no actual roll and the chapter was entirely focused on the bounty, with the Night Guard fight taking up the “fight scene” of the chapter. With no Garbonza, it had a different intro scene. Note that Twilight's speech is basically intact in the final version.

~~~~~~

It was now one of Midnight Dream's off days. After depositing the money from the Dash fight in the bank, it was now almost time for Hollow Shades' weekly Gardening Garbanza, held in the parking lot of the local Hay Burger. To do that, she'd have to get her petunias prepped, and her pansies polished. The afternoon sun cast much needed light on her plants—especially given Hollow Shades notorious reputation for being, well, shady. Growing full-sun plants in the town was as nightmarish as having an apple orchard in a desert.

She first opened all of her curtains, which let the sun in. As Midnight's cottage was quite small, that meant there were only a few windows that needed her attention before all her lovely plants had as many photons as they could stand. Next, she picked up the gardening shears and began to carefully trim the potted roses she was growing, before grabbing her tin watering can and making her rounds to all the various plants she was tending to throughout her small home. In the background, the radio droned on as background noise.

“And even though Princess Twilight chops down the Tree of Harmony for firewood whenever she hears us say it—this is NPR, Neightional Pony Radio.”

Midnight's ears perked as a short audio queue sounded, “This is an NPR Breaking News Alert. We have just received word that Her Majesty, Princess Twilight Sparkle will be making an announcement shortly. Sources within the Diarchy have confirmed that it is with regards to a recent incident one of the Princess's friends was involved in.”

Midnight looked over to the radio, a nervous glint in her eyes. She had known Rainbow Dash was a fairly well connected pony, but she hadn't quite fully thought about the ramifications that defeating the mare would have. It couldn't be that bad, could it? Twilight Sparkle was the Princess of Friendship, after all, and being vindictive or seeking revenge was certainly counter to that title. Then again, one always should stand up for their friends...

She shook her head of the increasingly concerning thoughts and went back to watering her yams. Even if Princess Twilight was going to do something, it would take days or weeks for the legal system to get churning. She hadn't done anything illegal—both her and Dash were willing participants in the fight and ex post facto declarations were against Equestria's Charter. Midnight's faux legal advice helped calm her as she continued the watering rounds.

“Legal analysists have stated that the wildly popular 'Underground Fighting League' could be in violation of Equestia's gaming and safety laws. It's unclear at this time whether criminal action may be taken against participants of the fights, but, in an apparent foreshadowing to Her Majesty's upcoming announcement, Attorney General Skies has confirmed a royal grand jury has convened to investigate the UFL's mysterious Benefactors and its fighters.”

Why'd the government fund a radio service anyway? That should be a strictly private venture. It was clear the talking heads had nothing important to say. Midnight walked over to the radio to turn it off, but stopped as those talking heads made an announcement.

“Princess Twilight will now issue her statement.”

Midnight bit her lip. Maybe she could just leave the radio on for a little while longer. She was nearly done making her watering rounds. Once that was complete, she could turn the radio off and get the potted roses prepped for the Garbonza. She walked over to her upside-down tomato plants she probably shouldn't have bought but it was three AM and the infomercial was entertaining, and started watering them while Equestria's newest princess began speaking.

Another gap that would have been filled in.

“It ill behooves Equestria to allow this dangerous spectacle to continue unaddressed. Innocent ponies are being caught up and hurt by the greed of others.” Midnight couldn't help but glance to the radio in increasing worry over Twilight's tone. It was like that had been directed at her, “We mustn't let a few bad ponies destroy Equestria's foundations of love and harmony just so they can pursue their hobbies.” Midnight fumbled with the watering can. That had to have been aimed at her. She hadn't told Dash anything so how could Princess Twilight know so much?

Gap.

“As such, with the consent of Princess Luna, the Night Guard is hereby ordered to shut down the fighting ring and arrest those involved.” Midnight gulped, “In addition, to show that actions that harm our citizens have consequences, the Office of the Vanguard is offering a one hundred thousand bit bounty on the successful capture of Midnight Dream—the pony responsible for Rainbow Dash's injury.”

Midnight's jaw dropped along with the watering can she was holding, “A—A hundred thousand bits?!” She picked her jaw up and plopped herself on the floor, “This can't be happening. It's just somepony's twisted fantasy.” Dread quickly replaced shock as she realized just what was going on, “I-I gotta get out of here! The Night Guard's a mile away and they're probably already nearly here.”

She quickly ran to her bedroom and started throwing socks, saddles, and other clothes onto her bed in a messy pile, “I'll start over. No more fights. No more Hollow Shades,” She glanced at the pile of bills on her kitchen table, “No more debt. Why didn't I just do this instead of those stupid fights?”

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Once I had decided to add the Garbonza scenes, I realized the word count would explode if the Garbonza and the Night Guard where in the same chapter, so they got cut into two chapters, with both having fight scenes. Once the ponies at the Garbonza found out about the bounty, they'd try to capture Midnight, with her using the various booths and whatnot at the fair to flatten her would-be opponents.

But I realized an issue. Since it was well established Hollow Shades = Night Guard, and Chapter Eight would already have Midnight fighting the Night Guard, that essentially meant she was fighting them twice—one when they were off duty, and one when they were on duty, and that didn't really sound interesting or stimulating.

So I decided to rework both chapters a little and make Seven solely plot focused and leave all the action to Eight. The beginning of the fight scene was cut to accommodate.

~~~~~~

“To prove that actions have consequences and that we will not tolerate these sorts of activities, the Office of the Vanguard is offering a one hundred thousand bit bounty for the successful capture of Midnight Dream, the mare responsible for the injuries to Rainbow Dash. The...” Midnight's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She didn't even hear the rest of Princess Twilight's announcement.

A hundred thousand bits? That was all the money she needed. Why hadn't she taken up bounty hunting instead of those stupid fights? One successful bounty and she'd be set. She'd never have to worry about debt again. She suddenly noticed the hungry gazes from some of the ponies that had crowded around the radio.

“A hundred thousand bits for Midnight?!”

“What did she do?”

“I don't know, but I don't care. It's a hundred thousand bits and she's standing right there.”

“We could split it evenly.”

The crowd very quickly turned it's full attention toward her. They started moving toward her She smiled sheepishly, “H-Hey everypony. Um, isn't that weird?” she stepped back and bumped up against a strawberry stand, “W-Who would have guessed somepony else with my name would be in trouble with the Crown?”

“We're receiving some information from the Office of the Vanguard,” Midnight and the crowd's attention shifted back to the radio, “To help with Midnight Dream's capture, here's some info about her: she's a light gray bat pony with a light purple mane and tail. She has amber or orange colored eyes. Her cutie mark is an angled, orange colored flower blossom, with a design similar to that of a rose She's described as having a slender, athletic build and is considered incredibly dangerous and well trained,”

Midnight gulped, “Ah... I'm sure they'll issue a retraction about that information soon. Y-You know news outlets. Heh, heh, heh. They get all sorts of things wrong.” she bumped into another table, nearly knocking off the tulip bulbs that were on it, “Today's Garbonza's been great, b-but I think I'm going to have to leave early. Hope you all have fun.”

Several of the ponies in the crowd took to the air

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Like with Chapter Six, I had some difficulty with how I wanted to start Chapter Eight. I had wanted it to immediately pick up where Chapter Seven left off, but after several failed attempts at writing a scene I was happy with, I just decided to cut it and start the chapter a little later. It didn't really add anything to the story, characterization, or clop and with the word count as high as it was already, it didn't need useless filler.

~~~~~~

Chapter Eight: Midnight vs. Bounty

Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go. The few remaining tomato seedlings were carelessly tossed into the back of the wagon, causing several of them to topple from their plastic containers. They were quickly followed by the signs and finally, the lockbox with the bits she made. Bits which now paled in comparison to the ones she was now worth.

“Midnight, stop! Just hold on a second,” Tower panted as he came to rest against the table that formerly housed Midnight's seedlings, “I'm sure there's just been a miscommunication here. Princess Twilight would never do something like that. Luna? Absolutely. But not Twilight.”

She'd get back to her cottage, grab a couple pairs of socks, maybe a hat, and take the next train to the Griffo-Minotaurian Empire. It was the perfect plan. She strapped the wagon's harness around her withers. Nothing could go wrong!

“C'mon, Midnight. You just have to think this through rationally,” Tower looked over his shoulder to see most of the Garbonza had followed them and now watched from a safe distance, “You're giving yourself a panic attack doing this. Just stop for a few minutes and settle down.”

She just needed to get out of Hollow Shades. She looked over in the general direction of the military base. Not just any military base—Crescent Moon Military Base. Headquarters of the Night Guard. One of the most wanted mares in Equestria was three miles away from the heart of Equestria's intelligence service. She gulped. She needed to leave. Now.

“Midnight, wait!” A small cloud was kicked up as she pulled away from her tent and ran down the grassy embankment and onto Fifth Street, “You just need to wait.” Tower muttered as he watched her speed away from the Garbonza. He looked down and picked up a tomato seedling she had left, “Just what did you do to get into this mess?”

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

As Fight Club's word count continued to rise, I realized that it would be a good idea to try and cut down on elements that didn't either advance the story or advance the clop. Rainbow Dash's bottling scene showed that the clop parts could very easily balloon into 2000+ words so “filler” wouldn't be a factor.

One area that I was fighting with myself over was the Night Guard's fight with Midnight. The big issue was that she was ready to turn herself in—for a price. I personally found that greed element very nice and didn't want to remove it. The issue was that if the Guard attacked her at her house, what was stopping her from just turning herself in afterward? The Vanguard had already confirmed she'd get paid after all.

My solution was to have her fly to Canterlot to turn herself in, wherein it would be revealed it was all a ruse by the Night Guard to capture her. She was never going to get paid. What would follow was a fight around Canterlot involving the Night Guard, the Arcane Magic Council (Archmage and mages), and culminate with Midnight running right into Twilight, who would try and get revenge for embarrassing her (Twilight had given Dash the enchantments) and hurting her friend.

While I hadn't yet decided on whether to flatten Twilight—she's already got plenty of fetish material as it is (even if most of it involves Trixie)--Major Shadow and her squad were always doomed. But, I realized that the entire Canterlot sequence didn't really do much. There was going to be little clop, and it didn't really help the story side much either. Ultimately, the Canterlot Night Guard/Twilight fight was swapped with the bounty hunters, while the Vanguard lying to her remained in.

~~~~~~

Midnight could hear the guards rushing up the stairs. She had to act fast or Shadow would surely catch her. Panicked, she ran through the first door she saw. The lush office was flanked on either side by bookcases with all sorts of books and nicknacks. A mahogany desk was in front of a window overlooking the Lunar Wing of Canterlot Castle. Behind the desk sat a male bat pony with a grimace on his face and standing in front of the desk was a very angry purple alicorn.

“The level of incompetence the Night Guard's displaying is atrocious, Captain.” Midnight slumped next to the door in defeat. It seemed karma was finally catching up with her. All those victories had to come at some cost, and that cost was apparently to be placed right next to the worst two ponies possible at that moment.

The Captain of the Night Guard smiled apologetically, “I'm sorry, Princess. We're doing our best to apprehend her, but she does have quite a bit of experience in the art of transmogrification. The Arcane Magic Council's attempting some new armor enchantments to counteract her abilities as we speak.” Midnight tried to quietly slip out of the room. She'd have better luck facing Major Shadow and her goons than a vindictive alicorn. She winced as she saw the bat pony hastily motion for her to come forward, “In fact, I think one of our soldiers is here with a status report on the capture operation.”

Midnight timidly walked forward. There was a slim—very, very slim—chance she'd be able to snake her way out of this without Just play along. Bamareian Fire Drill and all that. All she had to do was act the part of a Night Guardsmare and she'd be home free. She glanced nervously at the still fuming alicorn before fumbling a salute at the the Captain of the Night Guard, “Y-Yes, sir.”

Twilight eyed the bat pony with increasing suspicion while the Captain just chuckled, “It's alright, soldier. Her Majesty isn't having the best day today. Now, what is the status of Operation Golden Snare?”

Midnight couldn't help but continue to sneak glances at Twilight. If she caught on, there was little she could do. The number of spells the alicorn knew was probably staggering. The number of speels that made a wringer or a protein compressor seem like foal's play was probably equally staggering. And they could all be cast in a split second. She wouldn't know what hit her until she was fluttering to the ground as flat as a pancake.

Midnight gulped and tried not to think about that, “The—uh—the Office of the Vanguard was successful in luring the, um, treacherous mare into the trap. M-Major Shadow, however, has—has so far been unsuccessful in capturing her. We're, uh, locking down the downtown area and sweeping it as I speak.”

“I see.” Midnight squeaked. The tone in Twilight's voice wasn't one of confirmation, but of doubt. The alicorn started slowing walking around Midnight, who just grinned nervously at her monarch, “And why aren't you in uniform, soldier?”

A look of horror washed over Midnight's face, “W-Why aren't I in uniform?” It was a classically desperate stalling technique to repeat the question, but it was all she could think to do, “Well—y-you see—”

“I do believe she's undercover.” Never was Midnight more relieved to hear sompony's voice.

Twilight glared at the Captain, her eye twitching slightly, before she took a few breaths, “Captain Borealis, what does Midnight Dream look like? Wait!” Before Midnight could fully register just how bucked she was, Twilight's horn lit up, “Silly Twilight, you forgot to secure the exits.” Several clicking noises reverberated around the room as every door, window, and air vent was telekinetically shut and locked. Twilight looked at Midnight and smirked, “Now, Captain, what does she look like?”

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

As I finished writing the dirigible fight, I realized it wasn't very good. Primarily, Major Shadow didn't get a flattening scene. It was implied with the dirigible crash, but not actually shown. Sicne the story primarily follows Midnight, I was stuck. She had no reason to go back and get Shadow when she could just make her escape. I could have added a scene of the rescuers retrieving the flattened bat pony, but I felt that would break the flow of the chapter—especially right at the end.

So it got rewritten to it's finished form, with Midnight only just barely escaping the crash instead of being quite a ways away from it. I like the finished version much better.

~~~~~~

“Oh horseapples.”

-----

Midnight panted. Her heart felt like it might explode. Her wings burned worse than they had during any of the fights. Was she safe? She had no idea. They didn't teach a 'How to Avoid Big Airships' class at the rec center. She looked behind her and slowed to a stop when she saw the dirigible wasn't bearing down on her.

She landed and plpped herself down onto the warm concrete while she gazed on at the unfolding disaster. The Dreamscape had hit the ground at an angle and the flimsy metal skin that surrounded its balloon quickly crumpled inward against the hard concrete. It slide into the mooring mast and, presuming if she hadn't escaped, Shadow, before the passenger compartment landed.

A trail of twisted metal, wood, and dust followed the airship as it slide across the concrete and into the grass. And the noise. It was like something she'd never heard before. A symphony of popping rivets, scraping metal, and the groan of an aircraft slowly collapsing in on itself greeted Midnight's ears as she looked on.

The remains of the outer skin of the balloon finally buckled into itself as the wreckage slowed to a stop. The groan of metal continued as several beams collapsed over from inside the remains of the balloon. Smoke slowly drifted up from the twisted hulk of the airship as the sound of crashing metal was replaced by the panicked cries of the ground crew as they raced over.

Several sirens whined and Midnight turned her attention from the wreckage to several red pony-drawn carts that were racing over to the crippled airship from one of the buildings. The carts had hoses, ladders, and large tanks of water in them, along with several bat ponies equipped with bright green vests.

Midnight quietly slipped back into the sky. Even as guilt started to pile up in her gut, she had to get out here and a massive airship crashing was about as good of a distraction as she'd ever get. She

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

I normally don't bother with saving “deleted scenes” that are a paragraph or less in length, but I simply love this little paragraph. It was one of the earliest parts of Chapter Ten written. Later, once I established that Midnight used Dash's winnings to pay off her mortgage for a few years, I realized I had to rewrite this to preserve continuity.

I could have changed it back to this from the mortgage, but it helps keep the possible sequel in line, as she'd probably lose her cottage otherwise from months of nonpayment. The mortgage angle also helps to illustrate just how much money she made from hypnotizing and compressing everyone's favorite pegasus much better.

~~~~~~

Midnight gulped, “Right. Don't try to escape. Got it.”

“Good.”

The train continued to chug along on it's way toward Midnight's fated meeting with the Princess of “Friendship”. What had she done to deserve this? Okay, the technical answer was turning the Element of Loyalty's trap against her and then cashing in the tightly compressed mare for a sack of bits Midnight used to pay off her hose debts. Yes, hose debts. Hoses are a vital part of gardening thank you very much. There's a great many hoses a gardener needs. Long hoses, short hoses, those cool hoses that curl up on themselves neatly when you're done using them. How else do you water you're outdoor plants? It's not her fault Hollow Shades is also known as the Valley With No Drainage Basin.

So she paid off her hose debts with Rainbow Dash's bottling. Why did that warrant all this?

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

The second version of Fight Club's ending played out differently from the finished product. As the story ticked closer and closer to 80k, I looked at the ending I had written months earlier with less and less satisfaction. I wasn't too happy with Chapter Ten in general. Everything seemed to point to a climatic fight with Twilight in Ponyville to end the story—one Midnight would have to lose as this was a fetish flattening story and there was no way she was getting out of it three dimensional.

But that sounded like an even worse idea than the protein compressor. The less Twilight was in the story, the better, as her characterization certainly wasn't in line with the show. The less readers saw of her, the less they'd question that characterization. Furthermore, I didn't really want a “domination” oriented fetish scene, which is what would happen if Twilight cleaned Midnight's clock. So I was stuck with an 80k story that had an anti-climax and an ending written for a 30k story.

At that point, another battle ensued. What to do about Night Glider? There was no sense in letting a perfectly good flattening go to waste, but at the same time, I really liked the idea that Midnight had completely lost. Not only had she been flattened, but her opponent had escaped perfectly fine. It was the total role reversal that had been building throughout the whole story.

I was torn and decided to write an “alternate ending” where Night Glider was flattened and see which one I liked more. As I wrote more and more of it, I started liking it more than the original version. I finally decided to swap the two. I'm still a little disappointing Midnight wasn't completely defeated, but I think the stimuli Night Glider's flattening and the ensuing scenes bring more than makes up for it.

There were a number of elements that were recycled from these scenes for the final story.

~~~~~~

At least she made for a pretty good looking bat pony cutout. She smiled slightly. Who knows? Maybe somepony would be willing to rent her as a sign or something. Signs were highly sought after and she'd be of the highest resolution possible. Not to mention bat ponies were all the rage these days. Her days as a fighter may be over but there was always opportunities to make some extra bits. She might yet be able to pay off her debts. Who ever said things couldn't turn out positively?

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Oh yeah, the dark blue pegasus did. Midnight turned her flat head back around and looked up. Hovering several feet above her was Night Glider. The loud sound of the trap must have alerted the pegasus to her location. Night looked down with a smile at the squashed bat pony, “Did you fall into one of the castle's booby traps? That's quite unfortunate.”

Wicked ponies never prosper in the long run. Night Glider was more sure of that saying now as she looked at Midnight's wafer thin body than she had ever been before. She couldn't help but smile at the bat pony's fate. It was only fitting that the evil mare would wind up just as flat as the ponies she had cruelly defeated.

The bat pony stared up at her with wide, nervous amber eyes. Night could tell that she hadn't fully recovered from being turned from a bat pony to a flat pony due to the glossy look in those eyes. Several of the mare's purple bangs had been squashed down against her face. Night had to admit the fangs and nervous look did make the squashed pony look somewhat cute. But looks were deceiving. For all she knew, Midnight had some fiendish plan ready.

“B-Booby trap?” Midnight's voice wavered. It's not every day you get crushed by several tons of weight. She was still trying to recover and reorient herself. It takes time to adjust to the lack of depth.

“Oh, yes. The Castle of the Pony Sisters is well known for its many traps. Some more painful than others,” No doubt the bat pony was just stalling the inevitable. Night Glider cursed her own brazenness. She should have brought some supplies with her instead of just rushing after Midnight. Had she brought some rope or other restraint, she could just roll the flat mare up and tie her like a scroll before carrying her back to Ponyville.

Midnight shook her head to clear it of the remaining cobwebs. She needed a plan and she needed one now. She knew Night Glider was going to try and capture her. In her current state, it wouldn't take Night Glider much to do that, “So, eh, I don't suppose we can negotiate?” Stalling was good. It gave her more time to think.

“Negotiate?!” The audacity of that bat pony was amazing, “You're flat as a pancake. The only negotiating we're doing is whether I'm going to fold you or roll you up.”

Alright, if that'll buy her some more time, “Rolling would be preferable. I don't want to get any creases on me.”

Night Glider's eye twitched.

Midnight would have then escaped Night Glider and ended up in the castle library.

Midnight wobbled her flat body between the many bookshelves. There had to be an exit. Who would only put one entrance and exit into a library? Whoever designed this castle, it seemed, because all she saw at the edge of the large room was a very nicely decorated stone wall. The posters that hung from it really added something and helped make the cold walls feel much warmer and inviting. There was only one door in and out of there, and Night Glider had no doubt freed her tail from the wall trap and was hot on her tail. She had just ran straight into a dead end.

Hide. Hiding was a good idea. But where? She looked down at her pancaked body. She was so thin, she could slip anywhere. A crack in the floor or wall would be ideal. If not, maybe under one of the chair's dusty cushions? Fold herself up neatly and slip between two of the books? The door slammed open with a loud echo, “I'll be honest, Midnight. You almost caught me. You may be morally bankrupt, but you've taken to be being flat much than I would have. I'd likely be curled up like a scroll on the floor right now had your little trap actually worked.” She didn't have time to slip anywhere. She needed to hide, and now.

Night Glider looked around the old library and smiled. There were no exits and she had very clearly seen the paper thin pony slip in here. Midnight Dream was in this room, and she was going to find her. First, she grabbed the heavy oak doors and pulled. Their rusted hinges made the job of closing them much harder than it ought to be.

In desperation, Midnight would have pretended to be a poster hanging on the wall. Then Night Glider would walk around the library looking for the flat bat pony.

Those posters looked really nice. She walked past each one, glancing first at the bookshelf to see if there was any folded up gray fur tucked anywhere and then at the poster. There was a poster that advocated reading, one warning of the dangers of dark magic, one about proper scroll maintenance, one with a highly detailed bat pony on it, one for a nightly reading competition, even one for poetry. All the while, the only things on the bookshelves were crumbling books and scrolls. She sighed. It might take a while to—wait.

Night looked over her shoulder at the posters she had passed. A dark magic poster and a bat pony poster? Her eyes hadn't been playing tricks on her. She doubled back and stood in front of the white poster. Plastered to its surface was a light gray bat pony with a purple mane and tail. Night Glider shook her head in disbelief once she saw the nervous, toothy grin and wide amber eyes the pony had.

Several bangs of the pony's mane covered her face, while her body rested in a sitting position. It could have been an incredibly unlikely coincidence—that somehow a thousand year old poster matched her runaway prisoner—if it weren't for the half cutie mark that adorned the ponies flanks. An orange flower. Just to confirm it, Night placed a hoof against the pony's chest, a surface much too warm for a poster, and sure enough could feel the rapid heart beat of a newly caught pony thundering away.

“Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh,” It appeared to be a fancy poster that could giggle nervously once touched. Night Glider smiled. The bat pony thought she could hide like that? She had heard evil was stupid, but never thought it would be that stupid. She flapped her wings and hovered just above the flattened mare. Using her hooves, she scratched at Midnight's ear tufts until one of them finally peeled away from the poster's surface.

Once enough of the ear had curled off of the poster, she grabbed it and pulled. She was amazed at how well Midnight had pressed herself against the poster. Even in her paper thin state, the bat pony still had some athletic abilities. The gray pony peeled off of the poster's surface with a loud “screlp!” Once she was free from the wall, Night Glider held Midnight several feet off the ground by her head and looked her over.

Midnight looked up at the pony that held her. She was screwed. Very, very screwed. Pretending to be a poster hadn't been her best idea, but cut her some slack. Better to at least try to hide than be caught in the middle of the library. Had Night Glider not been so quick or had she actually fallen into the wall trap and been squashed flat, she might have been able to find a nice crack or hole to curl up into.

“So, Midnight Dream, any last words before I roll you up and take you to face justice?” Night grabbed Midnight's head with both her forehooves and got ready to tightly roll the mare up like a scroll. Once Midnight was no than a tube, she'd use the mare's purple tail like a robe and wrap it around the rolled up mare and tie it to prevent Midnight from unraveling herself and escaping.

“No, no, no! Wait! Please. Don't roll me up,” She had to try and get out of this, “I-I surrender,” she peeled her forehooves off her chest and raised them above her head, “You don't have to roll me up. I'll cooperate. You can just walk me back to Ponyville,” Midnight did her best to give a convincing smile. A trek through the Everfree Forest would provide plenty of escape opportunities.

Night glider put her free hoof to her chin, “Hmm, nah,” she started to roll Midnight up, “I'm not going to be tricked by your deception. You'd escape the first chance you got.”

“No! I won't try to esmmhhgh” Midnight's pleas were muffled as her head was tightly rolled up. It was a very strange sensation to be sure. Feeling the front of her body tightly pressed against the back. Her forehooves became pressed neatly against her chest as Night Glider's strong hooves made sure to leave very little wiggle room for the flattened bat pony. She gulped in the realization that when she was unrolled, it would likely be in front of Princess Twilight. Today just hadn't gone her way.

Night Glider smiled as she reached Midnight's rearhooves and tail. With the flattened gray mare securely rolled up, Night wrapped Midnight's purple tail a couple times around the cylindrical mare before she tightly tied the tip of the tail against its base. She lifted the gray and purple scroll up, “There you go, Midnight. Now to get you back to the Princess.”

She landed and placed Midnight's squashed body on her back. To an outside observer, it would look like she was carrying a gray rug out of the old castle. Night walked out of the library and looked down both sides of the hallway, “Where's the exit to this place, anyway?”

Midnight let out a muffled moan, “What I going to do?” she mumbled.

End of Fight Club

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

After the protein compressor was scrapped and the Castle of the Pony Sisters brought in for the final chapter, Midnight’s first flattening was originally going to be by the wall trap. While I really liked the scene, the first version of the chapter played up the running and hiding aspect, as the above poster ending demonstrates, while the final version had a more traditional action fighting element to it. As a result of that and the rune flattening idea, I decided to scrap it and use the wall trap later as Midnight's final defeat.

Notice the post-flattening is copy/pasted into the final story. I really liked it and didn't feel like rewriting it when I could just swap out “wall trap” with “magical rune.”

~~~~~~

She looked down both ends of the long hallway. Night Glider was nowhere to be seen, “Phew. I think I finally lost her,” Took her long enough. That pegasus had been very determined. With no immediate need to run, Midnight leaned back and sat down to rest her weary and aching muscles. After such a long flight, her back and wings were killing her. She might just walk out of the forest when she—

Midnight felt something push down underneath her rump and heard a loud clicking noise. What in the world was that? Puzzled, she looked down at what she was sitting on. It appeared to be a square stone slab of some kind. That was really strange. What was a movable stone slab doing in the middle of a hallway? A loud grinding noise caused her to abruptly look up, “Wait, wha—heerggh”

She didn't have time to react and could only grunt as the wall in front of her quickly slammed into her with several tons of pressure. Simultaneously, the wall behind her hit against her back, pancaking her. The two walls were firmly pressed together, with Midnight squashed flat in between in the narrow quarter inch gap that her body had made.

This.. this wasn't good. The trap or whatever it was was exerting tremendous pressure. Far more than she had thought was possible. The stone walls had made sure that the full force was directed right at her. She was sure that when the walls retracted, she'd be just as flat as Spitfire and Gloom Wing had been before.

Th-they were going to retract? Being flattened out by several tons of stone was not comfortable. What if they didn't and this was some kind of old timey defense the castle had. The castle did have murder holes, after all. What if this thing kept her pressed until somepony came along to deactivate it. She struggled to move in the confined space but couldn't budge. The pressure was just too great. If it wouldn't retract, it could take her days to wiggle out from between the two heavy presses.

Mercifully, just as her worries about being stuck reached their peak, a heavy clanking noise echoed down the hall and the two walls slowly retracted back into their places. Midnight had just enough energy to peel her flat body off the walls and wobbled in place in the middle of the hallway. From the side, it looked like there was just a thin gray and purple line in the hallway.

She looked down. The pressure plate she had been sitting on had decompressed despite the fact her squashed rump was still planted on it. She flopped off the plate just to make sure it wouldn't reactivate. Better safe than sorry. She stared down at her flattened body. The wall trap had done a number on her. Her sleek, muscular body was no match for several tons of fast moving stone.

She bent her flattened head down and looked at her side to see just how flat the walls had made her. It was a little hard to tell due to the gray fur, but her body appeared to be around a quarter inch thick. She looked up and down the thin gray line that made up her body. It also appeared she was pretty uniformly thin. She sighed in slight relief. With the amount of pressure the walls had exerted, she half expected to find herself so flat, she'd be transparent.

As she looked down her flat body, her eyes came to a rest on her orange flower blossom cutie mark. What a memory that was getting it; although, much to her dismay, to this day she couldn't identify exactly what flower it was. Unfortunately, both her flank and the cutie mark that was on it weren't spared the crushing weight. She was so flat, that her cutie mark had been flattened onto both sides of her body. Half on one side, half on the other and a small quarter inch wide part stuck in the middle on what little thickness she had left.

Her hindlegs hadn't been spared either and had been flattened out in the sitting position that she was currently in. She bent them slightly and was relieved to find that she still had her mobility. The press may have crushed her flat, but it hadn't turned her into an immobile bat pony poster. She wasn't quite ready to stand up—both due to still being in a daze from the flattening and from the fear that she wouldn't have the strength to stand up. Best to just rest for a few more moments.

Her attention was next focused on her lithe belly. She slide a ribbon-like hoof against it. Her abdominal muscles had been just as flattened as every other muscle in her body. She was a little relieved to find her innie belly button still intact, albeit significantly shallower and flatter than it had previously been. With her lack of depth, she wouldn't have to worry about belly button lint again. Think positively, that was key at this point.

She bent her flat head up a little and looked at her gray chest. Her athletic build had always meant she was flat chested, but she had never thought it would be quite so literal. She noticed the subtle movement of her chest as she breathed. It rose and fell shallowly with each breath she took. Not even several tons of stone and probably some sort of spring mechanism could stop her diaphragm.

Much to her growing frustration, neither her squashed shoulders nor her now ribbon-like forelegs and been spared the press' pancaking power. She had hoped maybe some part of her body had withstood the press. She looked over her shoulder and at her back, bending around her flat chest and upper body in the process. It seemed her body was considerably more agile and flexible than it had been before.

While her back arch was still mostly intact, her back was no thicker than her belly and chest had been. Her leathery wings had been tightly pressed against her back like some kind of leather upholstery. She figured they'd be useless anyway. Flying would be next to impossible in her flattened state. She'd be at the mercy of the wind and would just flutter around like a sheet a paper. Thank goodness they hadn't been erect when the press had hit her. The idea of having her wings painfully flattened out wide open wasn't one she wanted to think about.

She looked down from her flattened wings and noticed that her purple tail had been firmly pressed against her back by the force of the press. She reached down a flat hoof and scrapped it's tip off her back. Once the tip of it was off, she grabbed it and peeled it off of herself. Her tail fell to the ground and gently settled onto the stone surface.

She had to admit she was tempted to mimic her tail and let herself float gently to the ground. Maybe Night wouldn't notice the light gray and purple floor mat. She'd be able to rest for a few hours and then make her escape. She shook her head and straightened back upright. That was a horrible plan—even worse than turning herself in. All it would do is cause her to wake up from her rest neatly rolled up like a rug on Night Glider's back, bound for a meeting with the Star Chamber.

She sighed in resignation. Every part of her—from her tufted ears, to her fangs, to her purple tail—had been squashed flat. There wasn't a single part of the athletic mare that had been spared. She was just as flat, maybe even flatter, as all her opponents had been. Even if she was able to escape Night Glider's grasp—a near impossible feat at this point—she'd be stuck as bat pony cutout.

At least she made for a pretty good looking bat pony cutout. She smiled slightly. Who knows? Maybe somepony would be willing to rent her as a sign or something. Signs were highly sought after and she'd be of the highest resolution possible. Not to mention bat ponies were all the rage these days. Her days as a fighter may be over but there was always opportunities to make some extra bits. She might yet be able to pay off her debts. Who ever said things couldn't turn out positively?

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

The final chapter was first going to end with a flattened Midnight being escorted out of the Everfree Forest by Night Glider and enter Ponyville, to the delight of the citizens who'd witness the “evil” pony's capture. While I liked that idea, I ultimately ended it slightly sooner both to decrease the word count and enhance the “open” ending. The small part of what I wrote was cut.

~~~~~~

“Yeah!”

“Woohoo!”

“Yay.”

Midnight looked behind herself at the dark blue pegasus that was tracking her. She'd forgotten the narrative. Of course they weren't cheering her. She was the evil bat pony that had done something terrible to Rainbow Dash—one of the town's heroes. No, they were cheering her defeat.

~~~~~~

~~~~~~

And that's all the deleted scenes. Looking back, It's amazing just how much this story changed and evolved over eleven months. It looks nothing like how I had initially thought it would. Even though it's proved to be much less successful than I had hoped, I still had a blast writing it. And having fun is what writing fanfics is all about.

Although, the fetish stimuli certainly helps, too.

Comments

[Jiopaba]

Part of me tries to be like "Your fetish is weird and you're weird"

Then my brain screams "You fucking hypocrite" and I say "Shut the fuck up there's nothing wrong with" long list of bizarre fetishes. Fuck logical biases

Your fetish is weird and you're weird. Tell me more.