• Member Since 10th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 3rd, 2020

Davesknd


I am a humorist. I write funny stuff... I hope. Since my pony-name appears to be Dusk Dash (there is a chart), I have decided to dedicate my life to quick and evil science!

More Blog Posts73

  • 353 weeks
    Tails of Equestria - They finally made one!

    As my dear "readers" (or rather waiters,,, sorry, I am working on stuff, I promise) may have noticed, I like RPGs. I even wrote an entire chapter as an RPG, for goodness sake! Now, the good people at "River Horse" (love the name already) managed to talk Hasbro into making an official MLP RPG called "Tails of Equestria".
    I got the book today and I just finished it... here are my thoughts:

    Read More

    6 comments · 612 views
  • 369 weeks
    Let's talk about Zelda *BotW Spoilers*

    So... you might have noticed that I have been a tad quiet lately. Well, work is an inverse b'tch as it pays me to get screwed over and over again.
    Jokes aside, I want to vent a little and I thought the best way to do that is to write about something that I love: Zelda

    Read More

    0 comments · 436 views
  • 395 weeks
    RPGs You Should Try

    Recently one of my friends and me got into a bit of a quarrel about the state of modern RPGs. While he thinks that RPGs are at their lowest with D&D 5, the new 7th Sea being disappointing and FF games losing Warhammer, I personally think that we are in an golden age of Roleplaying with sites like DriveThruRPG and the like allowing us to find games that would have never seen publishing alone.

    Read More

    7 comments · 614 views
  • 399 weeks
    WORST EPISODE EVER!!!

    Seriously? 11 Int for a "Turn into root vegetable" spell?
    That's heavy transmogrify and at least level 5 in 3.5 and maybe 4 in Pathfinder. That needs a 15 or 14 Int! Even more if untrained!
    And Captain Wuss should get a save!
    GOD!
    0 out of 5 stars
    No points
    Terrible episode!

    (PS: Can someone please recommend a decent neurosurgeon? I need someone to get these writers out of my head!!!)

    1 comments · 432 views
  • 403 weeks
    OH GOD!

    They made a pony version of ME!
    It finally happened! They just forgot the glasses... GET OUT OF MY HEADS, WRITERS! AND WHERE CAN I GET A BONDAGE BODY PILLOW LIKE THAT?

    1 comments · 404 views
Dec
27th
2015

STAR WARS! The Phantom Awakening of the Force · 6:18pm Dec 27th, 2015

How to put it?
My family and I went to see the new Star Wars movie and I have to vent my feelings somewhere.
Now what did I think?
I HATED THIS MOVIE! This is the prequels all over again, only worse in a way. At least the prequels had passion and a vision. A dumb, misguided and foolhearty vision but at least a vision.
J. J. Abrahams was the wrong person for Star Wars. Heck, he was the wrong person for Star Trek. The guy has one talent that that is copying what he likes and adding explosions. He did that here too, only that all intelligence, elegance and (worst of all) the entire setting was gutted on the way. Star Wars was never complex on plot, but it had a living, breathing and well thought out universe. That's what made it so much fun. It felt like a universe that you could touch. That had ideas and people in it. Now Those hacks have taken iconography from that universe and minced it into a full film of dumb!

Let me explain what I mean by an early scene in the movie. Don't worry, its not a spoiler, its really early.
Two characters, one is a Stormtrooper suit and one in casual wear are trying to steal a TIE-fighter. So they walk through the main hangar, one pretending to be the prisoner of the other. Now, why is nobody questioning why a single trooper is escorting a prisoner towards a fighter? Why is nobody questioning when one civilian and one STORMTROOPER (not pilot, not marine, GROUNDTROOPER!) is borading a TIE-Fighter?
Casual guy says "I always wanted to fly one of those!"
WHY? Its a TIE! A mass-produced, piece of Imperial hardware. The new Republic probably has thousands of them standing around. You were probably trained in one of them!
Anyways, they start the TIE and... WAIT! Why are they not wearing a spacesuit? ITS A TIE! TIE fighters do not have internal life support. Pilots must wear a spacesuit! Why is a two seater? Its a fighter! Not a bomber, not an advance! It should have only one seat!
So they start up and get caught with the fuel line.
Of course, command instantly sees them, punches in the override and takes control away from... no, they use their tractor beam to pull them back in... no, they aim the hangar cannons at them and... NO! They send Stromtroopers out to shoot at them with hand to hand blasters while the two-seater TIE shoots down the whole hangar.
The TIE escapes and is instantly shot down by the squadron that emerges from the other hangar... no, its hit by several of the turbo-lasers... no, it shoots down several towers! I repeat: ITS A TIE-FIGHTER! FOUR of them couldn't put a major dent into Millennium Falcon but one can take out A STAR DESTROYER'S BOTTOM DEFENSE?
So the protagonists begin to quarrel what to do next. One wants to fly to the planet, the other wants to leave the system... HOW? ITS A TIE-FIGHTER! TIE! TWIN ION ENGINE! TIEs do not have a hyper drive! They are fighters! They jump with the vessel, they land on!
Now the TIE gets (finally) hit and... why doesn't it burn up in the atmosphere? Its (and I repeat myself) A TIE-FIGHTER! NO SHIELDS!
AND WHILE WE ARE AT IT: NO FUEL NECCESARY! TIEs USE SOLAR POWER! THAT'S WHAT THE PANELS ARE THERE FOR!

And this is not me being a dick! You need ten minutes on Wookiepedia to find that stuff out and it was all laid out in the concepts of the first movie! There is no excuse for this besides laziness. Unwillingness to do any kind of research. These people don't give a f'ck about Star Wars. They just use as much iconography and fan-favourite stuff to get asses into seats. And I hate nothing more than this pandering-yet-fan-loathing stupidity. This isn't something minor either. This is a clear unwillingness to care about the source material.

If I did that with my fanfics, you guys would boo me off FimFiction. And you would be right to do so! When you are given the privilege to tell a story in a universe, you better show some devotion to it and not just copy-paste plot points and wrongly use iconography.
At least the prequels tried to be their own thing.
YES, I PREFER THE PHANTOM MENACE TO THIS TRIPE! LUCAS AT LEAST HAD THE BALLS TO TRY SOMETHING NEW!
And I can respect that. I can't respect a movie that insults me every time it does anything!

Report Davesknd · 312 views · #Star Wars
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