[Aberrant Harmony Fun]: Humanizing Scenes for the Heck of It · 5:27am Dec 23rd, 2015
Decided to re-write a TCARW scene in humanized form. Why? Because I'm bored and want practice writing people!
Enjoy. 
One week. One week of dating, and she had him wrapped around her finger. Discord honestly had no idea when or where it happened, it just did. Between their near constant magic practice and continued research, it was impossible not to be impressed with Twilight. For a woman as young as she was to have the knowledge, flexibility, and determination she had was nothing short of remarkable. He supposed everything she did was remarkable, at least to him.
Most remarkable at the moment was how determined she was to learn chaos magic. As he lay on his quilt staring at the awakening town, he wondered what possessed her to become so singularly focused on it. In all honesty, he was pleased that someone was taking an interest in his magic, but that was hardly convenient given his current situation.
Twilight seemed convinced that the more she nagged Discord about it, the more she could learn about chaos magic. He was quite sick of the stack of letters she kept sending him, as it was starting to interfere with his sleep. Try as he may to explain that chaos magic could not be learned through writing, his girlfriend seemed determined to drive him crazy in the attempt. Chaos magic had to be felt, as he wrote time and time again in his responses. That led to a whole new problem where she kept asking him to come to town and teach her and Entropy. That would be awkward to say the least.
And then there was her constant ranting about Entropy. It was reassuring to know she felt the same about him as he did about her, though it sometimes felt like he was reading a school girl's diary. Really and truly he did not care what she looked like, so why in Equestria was she so worried about it? Gods above, he would not have cared if she were a griffon, and that was saying something. That coupled with Spike's ill-concealed attempts to come between them at every chance he could get was getting on his nerves. Children. I'm surrounded by needy children.
Just on cue, the book on his endtable began to vibrate. Sighing, he levitated it towards him, withdrawing an all too familiar letter. He rubbed his temple, bracing for today's drama.
'Discord,
I have a bit of a confession.'
He rolled his eyes, "Shocking that."
'Yesterday I found a really old potion in a spell book. There was no description, but the text said it was a chaotic potion, so naturally I made a bit up to experiment.'
"Naturally!" Discord burst into tears of laughter, rolling on the quilt. Leave it to Twilight to make a potentially dangerous potion without knowing what it even did. And then there was her adorable assumption that it was a chaos magic potion. "Not likely, dear. Draconequus don't go giving away the recipe to chaos magic potions to just anypony with a spell book." Still chuckling, he read on,
'Well, before I could test it, Spike bumped into me and I . . . I spilled it all over Entropy.'
"WHAT? You said that was water!" It was a small miracle the magic from the potion did not revert him back to his true form. That would not have ended well.
'I didn't tell him, and he went home. Now I'm feeling a little guilty. Do you think he'll be okay? Should I tell him?
-Twilight'
"For the love of . . ." Discord made a wild gesticulation at the paper, "YES! What do you think?" Still fuming, he withdrew a sheet of parchment, holding his ink pen between his long fingers.
'Twilight,
This might come as a revelation to you, but in my day when wayward princesses spilled potentially dangerous chemicals on their elders, they explained themselves and apologized. Do you not think a man of his age and standing would be capable of registering that it was an accident? Surely he has had some experience with potions before, and would be able to assist. If you had any iota of common sense left, you would tell him!
-Discord'
He sent it off with a embellished snap before tapping the tip of his pen repeatedly against the paper. Great, now there's mysterious magical effects to add to my list of concerns. Children! Sighing, he got to his feet, wincing at the pain in his joints. It was not so unusual anymore, and he had perfected the best gait to avoid jarring his bones more than necessary. It was abundantly clear now that it was not mere arthritis he was suffering from. The spell was slowly rejecting him, and any hint of chaos magic might be enough to dissolve it altogether.
Despite that, Discord could not help being happier than he had been in months. Not only was his life pleasantly varied, but he actually had someone to share those pleasant moments with, someone who truly cared about him. That thought kept him going despite the nagging pain radiating through his body like poison.
He got dressed quickly, avoiding the inevitable surge of shock as he stared into the mirror. Pretending to be a man was hard enough without the constant reminder of the more obvious . . . differences. Besides, Twilight had repeatedly fawned over his scruffy beard. What was one more day without shaving? He squinted at the latest potion stain on his once spotless lab coat. Great, now she'll fuss about that for the next five hours.
Purposely avoiding the kitchen and by extension, Mrs. Plumsworth, he veered out the side door into the sunlight. The warmth soaked into the coat, allowing his aches fade to near nonexistence. Whistling a nameless tune, he began his usual route to the library, nodding a greeting to the people he passed on the sidewalk. They all knew his name by now, and he knew just about all of theirs'. It took a greeting with Carrot Top to realize that something was off.
Rather than her usual half-interested smile, the young woman literally jumped in front of his path, grinning in a wolfish manner. Discord instinctively reached for the pouch of spark powder tucked into his pocket, taking a few steps back. "May I help you?"
"That depends," She walked, no sauntered up to him with all the air of a drunk hooker. Oh gods, why me? Before he could react, she was staring centimeters from his nose, eyes boring into his. "What are you up to sneaking by so casually?"
He bit his lip, trying to stopper the urge to blast her with his still volatile harmony magic. "I was not sneaking, I was walking."
"Nope, you were sneaking." She actually brushed his chin with the back of her ivory hand, causing him to cringe.
There was nothing that remotely attracted him to this woman, and from her previous interactions with him, the feeling was mutual. So what in Equestria was the problem? Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Twilight, I'm going to kill you. "I believe you may be under the influence of a mismanaged potion, Carrot Top. I—"
"—Potion?" Her high pitch laughter was like talons on a chalkboard. She placed her hand across his heart, "Darling, I don't need a potion to see that you're the finest catch this side of Canterlot."
Twilight was going to get a lecture from him personally, just as soon as he found a way to escape. Being involved in the spectacle was a lot less amusing than watching it. Sighing, he pushed her unceremoniously onto the concrete. "Enough, Carrot Top. I'm leaving." Just as he started off, she grabbed his leg, nearly pulling him to the sidewalk with her. "Let go!"
"No!" A look of utter desperation stretched across her round features. "Please stay."
"Please leave me alone," he retorted, glowering down at her.
"Yeah! Leave him alone, Carrot Top." Rainbow Dash's jeering voice sounded from a nearby balcony. With all the agility of a cat, she landed on the grass, prying the surprised vendor off of his leg.
Discord took the hint and ran off, Rainbow keeping step with even his long-legged strides. They veered off into a side alley, panting heavily. He grinned at her, "Thanks . . . Rainbow . . . you're a lifesaver."
Instead of a response, Rainbow was staring at him with a look of revelation sweeping over her face. "You're . . . you're younger!"
He rolled his eyes skyward. "Really? I do not have time for this, I am the same damn age I was yesterday!" He stamped his boot into the dirt dirt for emphasis, wincing at the resulting concussion.
"No you're not!" Rainbow facepalmed, proceeding to grab a nearby watering pail. She held it up for him, "See?"
Discord started backwards at the image. There stood a man that looked twenty years younger, jet black hair, no crow's feet, and a more muscular physique. This was not just a love potion he was dealing with. "Twilight," he growled, turning back to towards the library. "When I get my hands on you . . ."
"Before that," Rainbow Dash interjected herself between him and the street beyond, "why don't we you know, hang out?" Her eyes darted to his shoulders, with an unsettling interest. "You could come to my place, show me some techniques. You know?"
Techniques? What's she— Discord twitched as Rainbow Dash's fingers started tracing hearts across his chest. Great, just great. He pushed her aside, "Not interested, Rainbow."
"Aweee. Come on." Her eyes sparkled with a lustful hunger as she bumped him with her hips. "You've got to have a lot of experience."
"I do not!" That was the truth as sure as he lived and breathed, but Rainbow Dash did not seem satisfied.
She clasped her hands into his, staring pleadingly into his eyes. "Come on, just one time. Please?"
Though a drop-dead looker, Rainbow's advances were making his skin crawl. Typical humans, mate with whoever they want then throw them away whenever it's convenient. "No! My kind do not partake in one night stands." Discord wanted to slap himself for the last bit. Flim's speeches about the virtues of honesty during their research must have rubbed off on him.
To his surprise, Rainbow Dash either did not notice his slip up or did not care. Instead, she gripped his arm tightly, drawing him closer to her petite frame. "But, it's not night, silly," she whispered in a credible impersonation of Mrs. Plumsworth's frisky voice.
Have mercy on me. Under any normal circumstances, Discord would not have dreamed of raising his fist to a lady, but desperate times called for desperate measures. With as much strength as he could muster, he drew back his hand and punched Rainbow Dash right in the gut. The effect was instantaneous and Discord did not bother to watch her crumple to the grass.
He took off in a dead sprint. Idly he wondered at how much running he had done since he arrived in Ponyville. It really was ridiculous, and he made a mental note to complain to Twilight about it when he got the chance. His legs began to burn and he cursed his luck. I'm far too old to be gallivanting around the countryside because of a few women.
Finally, he slid to a halt in front of the library door. Without even looking behind him, he ran inside and bolted the door behind him. He stared hard at the floorboards, panting heavily. "You're . . . . in . . . so much . . . trouble."
"What for?" Twilight's voice came from the top of her ladder. Discord looked across the room and noted her levitating a book from the top of the shelf, completely focused on the task at hand. "I didn't make you run."
"You!" Discord slapped a hand to his forehead. "Don't play innocent! When were you going to tell me about the potion?"
Twilight turned to face him, gasped, and tumbled off the ladder. Without hesitation, he lurched forward, preparing to catch her. Thankfully, Twilight slowed the fall with her magic, gracefully landing on the floorboards. They breathed a collective sigh of relief, staring at each other. Then, as if they planned it all along, the pair burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. Twilight was the first to gain her composure, waving a hand as she caught her breath, "How'd . . . how'd you know about the potion?"
"What else could have done this," he made a sweeping gesture over his body, "Last time I checked, this was not what I looked like."
"Point taken." Twilight giggled, jogging over to him. Her hands slid under his lab coat and down his sides in that electrifying way of hers, "Were there other effects?"
He let out a soft chuckle, allowing her to continue examining his limbs. "Yes, and they were far from welcome."
"Could you take the coat off? I need to check you over."
"Sure, I guess."
Twilight listened to his quick recap with an unusually distracted air. As he spoke, her hands continued to run down his arms and chest, pausing at each of the muscles. He twitched when she moved to his legs and nearly jumped when she ran her cold fingers up a portion of his crotch. Too close! Finally, she finished with a satisfied smile. He looked for her usual response, a theory or perhaps a wild spell to try. To his dismay, she continued to stroke his biceps like a love struck teenager. "Twilight. Twilight! Pay attention."
"Sorry." She giggled, running a hand through her silken hair. "It's just, I was really curious what you looked like when you were younger." Her lips pressed to his for a brief instant before pulling away. "You must have been quite the lady's man."
"Not hardly." Discord had an uneasy feeling about what was coming next. Surely an acclaimed princess like her would not be affected by a little potion, right? He started towards the bookshelf, looking for some sort of antidote reference. "Where should we start looking for a counter potion?"
Twilight's high pitched laughter set the hairs on the back of his neck on end. "Silly, we don't need a counter potion." She sauntered over to him, whispering seductively in his ear, "all we need is each other."
Not her too! Discord was all for having Twilight's affections, but not this way. He rounded on her, "Listen to me, Twilight. I want your affections, truly I do, but only yours." Clutching her close, he breathed softly into her ear, "You are more than enough."
Immediately she relaxed in his grip. "Okay, Entropy. But," her voice softened to a near whisper, "it's a shame, you know? This way we're the same age."
So that's it. Discord sighed, holding her tightly. "No, Twilight. This isn't an age spell, and even if it was, it would not be right." I thought she was over this. "Time must march on. I cannot stop it and wait for you."
Twilight nodded slowly, burrowing her face in his chest. "I know, I know," she murmured softly.
"Entropy? You finally show up?" Spike's ever annoying voice sounded from the door to the kitchen. Sure enough, the little apron clad page boy wandered out in his typical loud manner. "Why do you two have to be all huggy? It's only like eight o'clock. And what's up with your hair? You going through a midlife crisis or something?"
Discord snorted, rolling his eyes. The child had no understanding of the word tact. We were having a moment. Reluctantly, he pushed Twilight back. "Next time you interrupt adults, do try to me semi-respectful about it, Spike." He ran a book across Spike's styled hair before turning to the bookshelf once more. Today was going to be interesting to say the least.
And there you have it! I had a lot of fun with this and would love to do more. Any scenes from my stories you'd like to see me humanize? Comment below!
If you're curious, this is kind of how I see Discord looking in my humanized universe.
OK. I got to say that I love this humanized scene. Congrats, you made me want to reread the entire story. As for a scene, what about the scene where Discord plays the spaghetti trick and Twilight realizes that he has a crush on her.
3637734 He, he. That makes me happy to hear.
You'll have to be re-reading it soon! I plan on posting Disillusion sometime in January.
That's one of my favorite scenes! It's definitely on my possibilities list.
Oh god. This scene.
I LOVED THIS SCENE! And now you make me laugh even more!
3637743 This was fun, and then you go and remind me what is coming in january! AHHHH!
Though in a humanized world... what does Discord look like usually? Is it different? I mean technically it doesn't have to be, but within the context of a mirror TCARW, what would he be?
I saw the picture, and I feel like it'd be similar to what Discord would look like if they made him human. I was kinda disappointed that he didn't show up in either of the movies, but the creators said that it'd be "very difficult to show Discord as a human." A lot of people came up with the theory that he'd be the Spirit Of Chaos no matter where he was.
3638365 In my humanized universe, he's still a draconequus usually, though he has a few more human features. Still a monster by all accounts.
3647351 I'm struggling to visualize that. mind you there is so much going on with draconequi that unaided visualization often falls short anyway, but still. Trying to figure out how you mildly humanize a draconequus... less noodle?