Got Bored, Wrote Fic · 5:04pm Aug 16th, 2012
"Luna?"
"..."
"Luna."
"... ... ..."
"Luna."
"... Yes... dear sister?"
"What did you do?"
"..."
"What did you do, Luna?"
"... ... ..."
"Luna."
"... Hm?"
"What. Did. You. Do?"
"That, I am unsure of, sister."
The servants of Canterlot castle could only watch with increasing discomfort as bite-sized versions of their rulers sat in front of them.
"Luna."
"Mhmm?"
"... We're young again."
"Yes, it would app-EAR we are at the apex of our youth once more."
They were no taller than any of the ponies they ruled now. A little smaller, perhaps. They appeared to be in the midst of their teenage years, most likely fifteen judging by the way Luna's voice cracked.
Celestia was a little noodly, her legs long and thin with comparitively short body, yet still packing some traces of fat around the stomach and ribs. Her once brilliantly flowing, multi-colored hair lay almost completely still, and lacked the colors of the dawn. Rather, it was a sparkly pink.
Luna was slightly smaller than her sister, and unlike her, her mane was completely still, short even. She had that adorable short cut she had in her youth, and her body was more proportional. She lacked her sister's height, yet didn't have the awkwardness that it gave such a small body.
"Dainty Hooves?" Celestia casually looked over to their oldest, most faithful servant. A gray, wrinkled pegasus with blonde hair, yet strikingly elegant golden eyes took a few steps forward. "I would like you to look into a way to reverse this please. I would rather not have to rule my subjects while I look like their daughters."
"I'll get the R&D Department on it right away." The older mare bobbed her hair and flew out the door.
Princess Celestia looked to her younger sister with a too-calm look of curiousity. "Luna, dearest sister."
Princess Luna looked up to her older sister with a cautious look of curiousity. "Celestia, dearest sister?"
"What did you do?" Celestia asked again, her voice never changing from its loving, curious tone, though at this point it sounded forced.
"... I had pranked our tea selection, Celestia."
Celestia nodded her head slowly as she digested this information, then twitched her tail in agitation. "Yet you partook in our morning tea ceremony, knowing this?"
Luna slowly looked away from Celestia, taking great interest in the golden throne her sister ruled from every day. "I had... forgotten which brand of tea I had poisoned, so I ordered your least favorite."
"Mhmm?"
"... I had also forgotten I spared none of the tea."
"Of course, dear sister. Ditzy Hooves?" Celestia looked over to the gray-coated, blonde-maned unicorn sitting before them. She stood up immediately with a big smile and a gasp. "Could you please go dispose of our tea stock?"
The unicorn squeaked in delight. "Yes Princess Celestia! Right away Princess Celestia! I shall summon the cleansing force of the sun's flames to purge our unholy tea collection!"
"Very good, Ditzy." Celestia turned away, and Ditzy sped down the hall towards the kitchens. The Princess sighed. "I suppose I will have to delegate from the throne today. We'll need to clear out all of my meetings until we can reverse this process. How long does this poison last, Luna?"
"..."
"Luna?"
"... ... ..."
"Luna, how long does the poison last?"
"... Forgive me sister, but I had last brewed it a thousand years ago only to find it today. Its potency as well as its longevity has escaped me."
"The cure as well?"
"I mean you no disrespect, Celestia, but over the thousand years I was away from your side it seems the number of virgins over the age of twenty has dwindled to near non-existence."
"... My little ponies do like to rock the bedroom scene earlier and earlier these days."
"Indeed."
"Quite."
"Mhmm."
"Well I suppose I shall make the call. Dandy Hooves, do send out a notice that we require virgins over the age of twenty." Celestia glanced to the gray-coated male, whose blonde hair was perfectly coifed and combed, and was currently filing his hooves.
"Give me just two seconds, m'lady, and I shall-"
The doors to the courtroom flew open. All eyes went to the colt entering the room, his pure white coat and blonde hair, the elegant way he walked, and immediately everypony made a throaty noise of disgust as he strode in.
"Aunt Celestia, Aunt Luna, I heard the oh-so-tragic news!" Prince Blueblood announced with a look of pure, faked bereavement. "Struck down from the throne by such a tragic condition! Truly, all of Equestria weeps for you!"
"Prince Blueblood?" Princess Celestia spoke up over the silence that followed the outburst. "My sister and I are fine. We're just young again."
"Quite so, so pl-EASE stop your blubbering." Luna ordered, coughing at the sudden change in pitch.
"Aye, young yet still full of experience and wisdom, but this troubling matter has been brought to my attention, and I'm afraid that, as a part of the royal family, it is my duty to make absolutely sure that any and all rules as set by both the Nobles of Canterlot as agreed to by your very hoof, Princess, are enforced." He announced, an intensely proud look on his face.
Princess Celestia stood quietly on her gangly legs, and she turned her head slowly to face Luna. The stared shared a moment of silent confusion before glancing back towards Prince Blueblood. "Praytell, nephew, what do you mean?" Luna asked first.
Prince Blueblood's crowd-winning smile stretched wide as he magically tugged out a scroll from his tuxedo and read from it. "Ahem. 'It is by the order of the Canterlot Court that the future rulers of Equestria are to be of at least the age of eighteen or greater before they may ascend to the throne, for fear of a lack of experience and hormonal imbalance may cause unforseen damages to their judgement and abilities. Should a ruler, or their heir, not meet the minimum age requirement, then the rule of the kingdom shall fall to the next in line until the ruler-slash-heir is of age.'" Prince Blueblood rolled the scroll up and tucked it back into his jacket.
Celestia hesitated to say anything, and slowly turned her head to face Luna. The two of them shared a look that spoke volumes, yet said nothing to any outside observers. The two did a remarkably good job of hiding any sort of emotion on their face. "Prince Blueblood, should such a situation arise in which the rightful rulers of Equestria are too young to do their job, who would be next in line to rule?"
Prince Blueblood's smile was nearly as big as his ego. Actually, that wasn't an accurate metaphor, not even Canterlot was as big as Blueblood's ego. "That, my dear aunt, would be me."
"So." Princess Celestia reached up and touched a hoof to her chin. Her other front leg wobbled a little as it was left alone. "Princess Luna and I are-"
"Too young to rule."
"Which means you would be taking the throne until we were cured."
Blueblood's head bobbed excitedly.
"Right then. Dandy, do call for those virgins-"
"Belay that, Dandy." Blueblood interrupted. "I have a much more delicate task for you to attend to. Princess Cel- or should I just say Celestia, I will require my throne."
Celestia gave him a rigid look as he moved forward, and every jaw in the room dropped as he began to climb the stairs to the ruling platform. "So you would delay our search for the cure?"
"My apologies." Blueblood didn't look very sorry. "But I have quite a few things I want tended to and can't spare anypony to go looking for your virgins, auntie. Again, very sorry, but we will all have our hooves tied up for a while." He smiled brilliantly as he sat on the throne, looking every bit as dashing as you'd think he was.
Luna gave him a look that suggested he was a particularly rotten tomato found in her salad, then looked to Celestia. The newly de-aged Princess of the Sun was calmly rubbing her chin again. "So you accept all the responsibilities, powers, and fineries of being the ruler of Equestria?"
Blueblood lounged on the golden throne, his pearly white teeth constantly visible now. "Oh yes, of course I do! Until my poor aunties are of the right age, I will have to make sure everything runs smoothly and finely." He sighed, looking at his most comfortable.
Celestia creakily turned her head to look Luna in the eye. The two once again had a silent conversation, but this time it was not so stoic. The two shared worryingly large smiles.
"Celestia, my sister." Luna spoke up, voice waivering. "We're free." Blueblood sat up from the throne to fix the two with a weirded-out look as Luna began to openly weep. "We're... we're free!"
"Prince Blueblood." Celestia turned her head to stare at her nephew. "I wish you the best of luck in your rule and hope you enjoy your stay."
"Free!" Luna wailed, tears running freely down her face as she began to prance in a circle around her sister. Blueblood stared along with the rest of the serving staff, dumbfounded. "Free! We're both free! Oh sw-EET Canterlot, the world is our oyster once more! The blue skies shall be flown again, the green grass shall be chewed merrily!"
Celestia suddenly tore open the lid to a chest sitting by the throne and started pulling things out. "To prepare for your ascension, I give you these gifts!" Prince Blueblood stared wide-eyed as Celestia started shovelling things onto his lap. "Never-dulling quills, never-ending inkwells, a call list of all the servants and their pay, the budgetting schedule for the next eight years, the bank bills, the charity events you must attend-"
"Mein Gott, I can shit in a public restroom now!" Luna stood still, stunned by the revelation.
"Servants of Canterlot!" Celestia announced suddenly after hiding Prince Blueblood behind mountains of papers, quills, and ever-spilling inkwells. "I trust you to care for the Prince just as you have cared for us, and to make sure he performs his duties!"
All of the Hooves in attendance saluted their former Princess smartly, and then with the grace and dignity of a ten-bit stripper, Celestia and Luna both cast off their tiaras, hoof-covers, and necklaces, then squealed in delight as they trotted for the door.
"Come Luna, there are many parties to be had!... And I know just the mare to start with!" Celestia yelped as they both launched from the windows of the palace to the south-west.
Prince Blueblood groaned, and shoved the pile of crap off his lap. It tumbled to the floor, and he rubbed his forehead. "Well that was unexpected. Oh well. Dandy Hooves, I demand the finest salad in Equestria, lined with gold - not gold-leaf - and fed to me by a Las Pegasus playcolt bu-"
"Actually, Prince Blueblood, we do believe it is time you start the paperwork." Dandy interrupted with a kind smile.
Blueblood gave him a dark look, and he shrugged. "My apologies sir, but we're on a strict schedule. Oh Derpy!"
Right on cue, a gray pegasus with a blonde mane and a cocked eye flew through the window carrying a letter bag three times her size and over-stuffed with paper. Blueblood stared at her wearily, until she flew right above him. "Mail call!" She announced, and dumped the entire bag on Blueblood's head.
----------
A hint of things to come.
Oh, this is great. I laughed so hard.
That was... interesting. I wonder what things will come. Also, I noticed you kinda used the Derpy from Growing Pains with her weird ways around royalty.
291096 Sorry you didn't like it.
that sounds awesome!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
/hmm, this will be interesting.
Oh wow, now this looks funny. I can't wait to read the whole thing.
291098
The giant number of yeses made you think he didn't like it?
Also, as much as I love EVERYTHING you write dis gon be gud especially. Please, pray continue good sir. Or I'll be sad
That was unexpected. When can we expect the complete story of this?
291121 Seventy-billion years from now.
I dunno. It's not gonna be a one-shot.
291133Sucks to here for the first half, great to hear for the second.
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/252/me-gusta.jpg
First
Molestia -> Lunestia -> Pedoblood
You may now continue with the win sir.
And then they find out that Twilight is a virgin over 20. How convenient.
Now this. This is going to be amazing. You MUST continue this! At least, at some point in the future.
291165 Whammo.
At first I was
But then,
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/399507_330658510357335_314290744_n.jpg
lets party till we drop !!!!!!!!!!!!
Publish this so I can favourite it!
Epic facehoof on many levels:
th1156.photobucket.com/albums/p570/bolemis/th_131723914933.gif
Oh Blueblood, be careful what you wish for
Now I think the ending goes with Blueblood ordering a search for virgins over 20 (which I have no idea why this is the cure) and after a hard time searching only found out that it is Twilight in all of Equestria (or Rarity, personally Rarity would be more funny) and dropped to his hooves and begged her to cure the Princesses so they can have their jobs back
I enjoy this very much so.
I laughed at this but still,
.
It would appear that this will be quite brilliant, dear chap.