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Titanium Dragon


TD writes and reviews pony fanfiction, and has a serious RariJack addiction. Send help and/or ponies.

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Dec
13th
2015

Read It Now Reviews #65 – Step Right In and Start Again; Why Couldn’t I Beat Her?; The Reality I Choose; It’s No Wonder That You Feel So Strange; Tantabus, Do Your Worst · 12:13am Dec 13th, 2015

Three days of reviews in a row! It has been a while since I pulled that off, but I really thought I should get caught up on my reading. Alas, the actual writing front hasn’t been going quite as well, though I have gotten some work done on a number of stories – but not gotten any of them finished.

Ah, well. Hopefully these reviews will tide you over.

Today’s stories:

Step Right In and Start Again by shortskirtsandexplosions
Why Couldn’t I Beat Her? by Gingerquill
The Reality I Choose by The Hat Man
It’s No Wonder That You Feel So Strange by shortskirtsandexplosions
Tantabus, Do Your Worst by Georg


Step Right In and Start Again
by shortskirtsandexplosions

Dark, Sad, Tragedy
8,454 words

Starlight Glimmer awaits her punishment at the hooves of Twilight Sparkle and her friends.

Why I added it: Season 5 finale reaction fic from SS&E. How could I not?

Review
Starlight Glimmer steps into Twilight’s throne room at the end of “The Cutie Re-mark”, and has a brief conversation with the girls, only to be reset once per day to the start of the time loop. Every day, she comes in, fearing punishment, but every day it is a little bit different as Twilight and the others try to figure out some way to fix her… and then are eventually forced to give up and move on with their lives and let Starlight Glimmer just continue to loop out endlessly.

Forever.

This is a pretty bleak story; things are continually getting worse as entropy has its way with the world, and time keeps going on and on, leaving Starlight Glimmer further and further behind, her situation becoming increasingly hopeless as the world becomes a darker and darker place as it all falls to pieces.

That being said, it does a good job of communicating its bleakness to the audience; it is a rather hopeless piece, but it gets across a sense of fear, confusion, and desperation well enough. If you’re into that sort of thing, this piece is right up your alley; if you don’t enjoy bleakness with only a pinprick of hope, though, you might want to avoid it.

Recommendation: Worth Reading if you don't mind bleak pieces.


Why couldn’t I beat her?
by Gingerquill
Slice of Life
1,948 words

Starlight Glimmer, once hell bent on destroying everything Princess Twilight Sparkle held dear, has been shown the magic of friendship and embraced a new path.

But the Princess, her saviour, has been more deeply shaken by the events of her misadventure than she cares to admit.

Uncertain, she starts asking questions of herself, and her mentor must guide her to the answers.

Why I added it: They asked.

Review
Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia discuss Starlight Glimmer’s power, and how Twilight Sparkle – a pony with magic the likes of which Princess Celestia had not seen in a long, long time, one of the most powerful ponies in all of Equestria, a pony who might well be more powerful than Luna and Celestia – was fought to a standstill by a mere unicorn. As they say, pride does cometh before the fall.

This story actually reminded me of my own story, The Stars Ascendant, which was a reaction fic to the season 4 finale which explored the meaning of Twilight dueling Tirek to a standstill, and how much power she must have been wielding – and how much of it was her own power – to achieve such a feat. In both stories, a conversation involving Celestia discusses why things went down the way they did, and what implications it might have.

That being said, this story struggled mechanically. There were some issues with the grammar here and there, particularly in the assignment of dialogue tags, along with some questionable use of saidisms and general verbosity. It was a distraction while reading it, though it didn’t end up bothering me to the point where I couldn’t keep going.

This is fundamentally a discussion fic and a bit of a headcanon dump, but if you liked what The Stars Ascendant was doing, you might enjoy this as well. If you don’t like headcanon dumps, though, or you’re particularly bothered by mechanical issues, you probably are better off steering clear.

Recommendation: Worth Reading.


The Reality I Choose
by The Hat Man

Alternate Universe, Drama
6,989 words

So many realities. So many horrible futures. But in yet another alternate timeline, Twilight finds herself in the Golden Oak Library with the Princess of Friendship: Sunset Shimmer. Rather than the awful futures she's seen before, she now finds herself in a timeline that actually seems nice. But that means she has a tough decision to make...

Why I added it: Featured season 5 finale reaction fic.

Review
During her battle with Starlight, Twilight Sparkle ends up thrown into a reality which, unlike all the other realities she visited, is not a total disaster. Here, Sunset Shimmer, not Twilight, became the Princess of Friendship, and many other things are different – Luna wasn’t saved, but King Sombra was purged of the darkness within. Only two of the Elements of Harmony are borne by the same ponies.

But now Twilight has to choose – should she accept this new reality, even though it is worse for herself and some other ponies in it, or should she go back and stop Starlight, and possibly prevent this reality from ever existing?

While I like the idea behind this story, I have seen it before in other contexts, which meant it wasn’t super fresh to me. And unfortunately, this story felt really by-the-numbers – Twilight shows up, Sunset Shimmer brings together her friends to talk to Twilight, and then Twilight thinks about it and makes her decision. While all of this is potentially good, I never got sucked into the emotional drama here – it felt subdued. I never really felt bad for Twilight because the story never really got me invested in the new timeline, as it spent so much time establishing what was different it didn’t really spend enough time on anything to make me care. Without this emotional connection, Twilight’s decision at the end just didn’t carry enough weight for me, and really, Twilight herself wasn’t pulled in close enough to anyone in the new timeline for it to really affect her much. Thus, the whole thing, while an intellectually interesting dilemma, failed to be emotionally engaging here, and unless you’re naïve to the idea here, you’re not likely to get as much out of it as those to whom the idea is fresh.

Recommendation: Not Recommended, especially if Rarity crushing on a pre-pubescent Spike creeps you out.


It’s No Wonder That You Feel So Strange
by shortskirtsandexplosions

Sad
2,960 words

"Twilight, did I ever tell you the real reason why I returned Peewee to his nest?" Spike asked.

But Twilight Sparkle was asleep, so her apprentice saved the question for another day... a day that would never come.

Why I added it: SS&E is a good writer, yo.

Review
Spike tells us the real reason that he returned Peewee, mostly via flashback to something seemingly unrelated, but which quickly becomes clearly closely related.

This was a melancholic little piece, but Spike is being a bit of a drama llama here; still, the pathos is real, and Spike feeling heavily mixed emotions works well enough. The piece is pretty short and compact, and gets to the point quickly while doing a lot of showing of why Spike feels the way he does.

That being said, I’m not sure that I really buy that canonical Spike feels this way; he seems like a generally pretty happy and chipper individual and good with the way his life is. Still, in the context of this story, it was convincing enough, and I think folks will like it.

Recommendation: Worth Reading.


Tantabus, Do Your Worst
by Georg

Drama, Sad
2,780 words

Princess Luna ordered the Tantabus to torture her dreams every night so that she would never consider returning to the dark path she once trod as Nightmare Moon.

Luna should have remembered just how difficult it was for her to obey rules before she used her own essence to create what was, in effect, a smaller, more headstrong version of herself.

The Tantabus is determined to follow the true purpose of her command, no matter the consequences, large or small.

Or very, very small.

Why I added it: Georg is a good writer.

Review
Luna created the Tantabus so that she would never again become Nightmare Moon. But the endless torture, Luna’s willful seclusion, will as surely turn her to Nightmare Moon as forgetting what she has done. So the Tantabus grows more sophisticated, seeks to escape, seeks to reach out and touch the minds of those who love Luna and might turn her from her path and show her love. But it isn’t enough. It is never enough. The Tantabus must escape, force all of Equestria to rely on Luna to banish the nightmare once and for all…

I saw a few stories like this a few writeoffs ago, and I liked them well enough. This was much the same, though less compact than those. It relied on the same core idea of one of them – the idea that the Tantabus might have evolved beyond its programming to do something else – but here its gambit is very straightforward and makes sense by and large.

I’m not all that sold on the ending making all that much sense, though, and it felt a bit out of nowhere, which reduced its impact for me. And unfortunately, a lot of it was just recasting events we saw via a lot of expository prose, which ended up leaving me feeling a bit meh about the whole thing. It certainly wasn’t bad, but it failed to really light my fires in any major way.

Recommendation: Not Recommended.


Summary
Step Right In and Start Again by shortskirtsandexplosions
Worth Reading

Why Couldn’t I Beat Her? by Gingerquill
Worth Reading

The Reality I Choose by The Hat Man
Not Recommended

It’s No Wonder That You Feel So Strange by shortskirtsandexplosions
Worth Reading

Tantabus, Do Your Worst by Georg
Not Recommended

And there we go! The eternal battle against entropy continues for yet another day.

Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 97

Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 387

Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1742

Comments ( 16 )
#1 · Dec 13th, 2015 · · ·

Yikes! A Georg story that isn't recommended? You're becoming more and more cynical, TD. :trollestia:

3614294
It isn't bad, as I noted, but I just wasn't drawn into it. Neither of the NRs this time around were bad stories, they just didn't quite light my fires enough to really feel like I was super thrilled at having read them. Of course, the fact that I'd read a few Tantabus-centric stories which were somewhat similar to Georg's story might have also biased me against it, because it wasn't as novel to me after seeing similar things twice before which I liked more.

They were both :| stories for me.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Man, how could that third story not be amazing? D: That premise all but writes amazing fics on its own!

3614394
It basically fell into the same trap as the episode did - it didn't really connect enough with specific things in the world. We get a major overview of all the differences between the other world and the world of canon, but what we don't get is a lot of specificity. Compare to Memories We Never Had, where we get a much more intimate view of each of the alternate world's ponies. It built more of an emotional than a factual connection with the other reality; sure, we know the facts of how it differs, but in Memories We Never Had, we see more of an emotional impact on the ponies in question. Applejack's passage in particular at the very end of the story is quite powerful, and after seeing all the other ponies, whose lives were just a little bit off, seeing that hit hard.

And that's really what this story was lacking in; it was a great idea, but it lacked that emotional punch. I just didn't get invested enough in the new world, in the emotional connections of the new ponies, for Twilight's decision to have the proper weight.

3614294 Actually TD has been tough but fair on everything he's reviewed of mine. Getting a gold star from him takes a lot of work and some pretty good writing. (and after about the twelfth Tantabus fic, some of the gold starts to wear thin.)

I actually found Step Right In and Start Again to be less dark and more optimistic than advertised. I liked the way it unwound and ended. Friendship *is* forever. Literally.

I didn't understand It's No Wonder That at all, though.

3614446

I didn't understand It's No Wonder That at all, though.

Spike set Peewee free because it allowed Peewee to go live with his own kind. Spike is the only dragon in Equestria, and will never be with his dragon family; he will always be alone, with the ponies that he loves. He is lonely in a way, but he wouldn't have it any other way, because he was raised by and loves Twilight and the other ponies; Spike can't leave. But because Peewee never became that attached to Spike, Peewee can live a normal life as a phoenix. Spike gave Peewee a chance he himself never had.

3614446

I actually found Step Right In and Start Again to be less dark and more optimistic than advertised. I liked the way it unwound and ended. Friendship *is* forever. Literally.

I have to admit this may be in part a personal thing, but I find the entropic decay of civilization terribly depressing. I remember when I was a little kid, someone did this depiction of the world changing in rapid animation, sort of a flash-forward kind of thing, with cities being built and decaying, the world changing, ect. and I found it super depressing. I was terribly distressed when I first found out about nuclear war, and about the Earth dying over the next few billion years.

Well, at least it's a bit better than the last bunch.

3614465 When I was child, I panicked about the heat death of the universe. I also had an irrational fear of my house burning down. I eventually grew out of it, but I suppose fear of cessation is one of those primal fears that a lot of people share.

I personally am not interested in the story since I dislike shortskirtsandexplosions' writing style. But at least we'll always have "Ozymandias", right?

3615173
If you're referring to the poem, that is a thing I have always loved.

Incidentally, noticed your new avatar; someone been watching anime? I thought that was a kind of interesting (if bizzare) series.

3615173

Oh thank Celestia I'm not the only one. I spent about six months in my kiddie years panicking over the idea that everything in a laws-of-physics-centric universe was predestined and my life was already completely plotted out.

Why couldn't I just panic about normal things like cooties :applecry:

I still don't know what those things are

3615376
Clearly it just means we care. You know, in a cosmic sense.

I still don't know what those things are

Well, this is what Google Images says:

It didn't really answer my question. Neither did CNN:

Of course, Wikipedia has an article about them.

3614442 Thanks for the review of my story! I thought it was very fair.

3614394 And thank you for your supportive comments!

It's nice to see two well-known folks here on the site with differing opinions about it. :twilightsmile:

Well, in response, I have to say that I was genuinely surprised at how popular it became for a simple one-shot I did in between chapters of my main project. That said, I'm pleased that "The Reality I Choose" resonated with so many.

As I said, I'd say that your review was quite fair, TD; the story is lacking deeper emotional impact and it doesn't delve too far into the intimate details of the alternate timeline. In fact, if I have one regret, it's that I didn't dig more into Sunset's perspective, but I ultimately decided to limit things to Twilight and Spike POV, and a scene with Sunset alone would have been jarring.

However, my choice to focus more on Twilight's decision than other aspects was very much deliberate. I worried that showing things like Celestia's marriage or showing the Doc and Derpy with a kid that didn't exist in the regular timeline or showing Sunset breaking down sobbing and begging Twilight not to reset the timeline would portray Twilight's actions as cruel. I wanted to keep it just serious enough for there to be some genuine conflict and to allow the reader to feel the choice had some moral ambiguity. A richer, more emotionally-charged plot would make most readers side against Twilight's eventual decision to go back, risking the Sunset-verse's existence, and I wanted them to have to think about if it was the right call or not.

PresentPerfect and others who like the story seem to like it for the moral ambiguity as well as the open ending. By being "subtle," as you say, it allowed the reader to project their imaginations into what happened in the universe and consider the possible consequences of Twi's decision. I can totally understand why a lot of folks didn't care for it, though. If you wanted something more rich and emotionally involving, like Memories We Never Had (great story, by the way, I read it when you linked it), then yeah, it is pretty disappointing.

In any case, thanks once again for reading, and I hope to perhaps see both of your thoughts on my work again in the future!

>> Titanium Dragon >> Monarch Dodora For an optimistic(?) take on the heat death of the universe, perhaps try reading "The Last Question" by Isaac Asimov.

3615201 I actually watched it a while ago; I enjoyed it, though it had its flaws in terms of plotting and character use. I'm always a sucker for series that have comedy and can then hit you with effective drama, though. And I never watch any anime starring a male high school student who gets sucked into wacky adventures, so that limits my anime options somewhat :derpytongue2:

And yes I meant the poem. It's one of my favorites because it is so concise, yet still evokes its intended emotion so effectively. I mean, a reading of it takes just over 1 minute.

3615376 I couldn't panic about normal things like failing tests because I had never failed a test anyway. :derpytongue2:

3616117
I've always liked The Last Question; it has a very powerful conclusion. I think that it feels less depressing than a lot of such things because there is hope throughout the story that things will get better, and the computer never gives up.

3616450 I'd agree with that. Humanity grows so much during the story that even though the question doesn't get answered until the end (and even though said answer is delivered in a fairly corny way), humanity is still characterized as capable of overcoming all sorts of circumstances.

I never really thought of the computer as determined, but it's a valid impression, now that you mention it. To me, it was more like the computer was just following orders; it solved the problem out of obligation rather than perseverance. Of course, by the end of the story it is well beyond a normal computer, so attributing things like perseverance and loyalty to it is hardly out of the question.

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