Random thoughts: No You Shut Up · 7:15pm Dec 11th, 2015
I like checking out the forums of the groups I'm part of - well, some of them. Like Reddit, Facebook, and even my hotmail account, my feed consists of a certain proportion of items relevant to me and the remainder being fluff. I, as with pretty much every other member of this generation, have self-taught the skill of quick filtering - by recognizing key details, you mark a pattern of traits borne by things you find interesting, and anything that doesn't bear such is ignored. It can be texts. It can be thumbnails. It can be even language - I'm much less likely to check out Chinese articles on FB even though I read it fine okayish. It's influenced by context, historical or even chronological - for some reason, I am more likely to watch Gordon Ramsay's homecooking recipes much more when I wake up than any other time. Otherwise it gets ignored.
In some children, this habit of filtering is sometimes exacerbated into full-blown attention deficits - not the disorder, just the general condition. Has technology gone too far? I tutored a kid for three years, and he's thirteen now - his ability to stick to a task is rather worrisome, even discounting my inability to command focus and the inpalatability of math at his age. There's something about the way he responds to tasks as a whole that shows - how he focuses better on videos than reading, for example - a fundamental difference in optimum methods for garnering the materials, ie working at problem-solving compared to when I went through the stuff.
Slowly, surely, the way we are to think, interpret and work is changing. People grown on technology will design systems and develop communication methods more suitable to their kin, just like ours designed the Internet - and shaped it into the fascinating, terrifying cacophony that the generation before is wary of. Styles, writing, even our jokes are morphing - punnery isn't enough, everything has to be a dank meme, and they come and go in a fashion so rapidly changing.
Amidst this, while I was browsing a thread in my feed, I saw a topic that I felt was not only relevant to me, but one that I could contribute. It was on writing for fame vs writing for its own sake, a topic I am smug about finding peace with solo-style. I even considered talking about it in my RCL interview, but cut it because even I know shame. I don't get to reply in threads too often - the most interesting ones are usually interesting because they're filled with characters of better repute and greater wit than I, and it gets embarrassing thinking about dropping my pebble into the lake.
Anyhow, I gave the topic some thought, and read through the rest of the replies. All agreeable, all good. Think some more. Plan out a structure and decide on a rather neutral, no-nonsense tone. Think some more...
I read the comment I had wanted to reply to again and realize that what I have to say doesn't actually address what s/he said. Tangential at best, absolutely not helpful - interesting, maybe, in that mild way we see the things in our feed before we filter them out into the void, but useless nonetheless.
You may have noticed this with yourself, dear reader: it's been said that when talking, women focus on feelings and men focus on solving problems. To elaborate: with the former, subject matter discussion always anchors towards determining and exploring emotional impacts, whereas with the latter discussions always explore methods and actions.
I'm all for the discussion of solving problems, even if I don't get around to actually doing them - no, I just like the exploration of them in general. But this was a case where I was looking to address a problem that wasn't on the table (specifically).
And that's when I remembered - this is something I do too often. I am the time-filler conversationalist that flits from topic to topic, and it shows in my instinctual responses that I use occasions to express my own thoughts, my own stand on issues with the aim of furthering them. I just don't do it publicly (I hope) because I check myself before I wreck myself think before posting. And I usually realize this same thing, but never noticed the pattern until today.
At its core, it could be easily suggested, is therefore a disregard for the desire to solve the problem altogether - be the motive out of compassion, empathy, or just plain curiousity. Nor is this exactly something you could palm off onto a lack of attention span - just flat out forgetting the point of the conversation is too kind a diagnosis. Instead, it's a narcissistic, or at least self-indulgent bent that stretches from the heart to the fingers - not something that I deny, mind.
This blog is a little different, I guess, since furthering one's own agendas does fall under its broad umbrella of purposes (and in circles like 4chan this sort of thing is referred to literally as blogging).
This brings a question also tangential to the thread: does knowledge that the motive is "impure" ruin your experience of the object - let's say fiction? Note that the only way this can happen is retroactively, if you did have no clue whatsoever going in of these motives. Which, when you think about it, is probably not worth it, since you already spent this time, this investment, and got a satisfactory return - why would you allow a sour reveal to taint your enjoyment?
So then it must be accepted, if one is not willing to sink the investment in this petty manner, that if the work is a good read, it doesn't matter if it was done for fame or for its own sake, as long as the significance is based on enjoyment. "Life is too short," we declare as we post selfies against amazing sceneries on luxurious holidays - "too short to get mad over!"
Does it matter if this blog doesn't have a definite conclusion? - or if the sleepy jaunts in flow served no clear purpose save irony? - if you think your time spent reading it was not wasted? Even if the interesting parts were sandwiched amongst irrelevant parts...
...just like how our social feeds are, when you think about it.
I was supposed to stay up to finish Scald, but I ended up doing this instead. Is it worth it for me if I'm satisfied doing this instead? ...it is 3 a.m. however.
Posts like this make me wish there was an upvote button for blogs.
3614989
Heyas - thanks for letting me know you liked it! =)
I do everything you mention here, which kinds of makes this surreal to read. Not much for me to add, since you're pretty excellent at looking inward into these kinds of things.
Sometimes. For me, it depends on the degree in which I was wrong. For example, if I totally misinterpreted a fic, enjoyed my own misinterpretation and then go read the comments where someone does a great and truthful job of ripping it apart on consistency, structure, ect, it will taint my enjoyment since I will then feel like an idiot for not noticing all the flaws in the story, and those negative feelings taint my experience. One of my reasons for being here is to learn what makes story and writing good and how to identify those traits within a work. Prior to fimfic, I had little idea of any of that. Thanks to reading insightful blogs, story reviews, writeoff threads, ect, I like to thing I'm learning more and more about what makes good literature. However, if I just misinterpreted a few things in the story, it won't taint my enjoyment.
Perhaps you are just hungry
I can certainly relate to this, however you always sum it up far more prettily and concisely than I could.
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Hear hear! One of the more significant benefits of ponyfic (though I'm sure the bigger fandoms of better work like HP have covens of skilled editors, too).
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Heyas Ferret, thanks for reading! I actually don't know how to tell the rest of the Angels I'm back lol
3618692 Poking your head in the skype chat couldn't hurt:P