Read It Now Reviews #63 – Colors of the Soul, Unfair, Did Not, The Ever Ash Project, Denial · 2:32am Dec 4th, 2015
With season 5 over, it is time for people to release their reaction fics. I expect that this season finale will be fertile ground for fanfics for many months to come. I myself have some ideas, but I am going to try and push out a lot of stories I’ve got in my pipeline first.
Of course, there’s another writeoff coming up in just a few weeks, so maybe it won’t be such a long delay after all…
Today’s stories:
Colors of the Soul by Monochromatic
Unfair by Jay-The-Brony
Did Not by Obabscribbler
The Ever Ash Project by shortskirtsandexplosions
Denial by Masterweaver
Colors of the Soul
by Monochromatic
Alternate Universe, Romance
5,337 wordsIn a world where ponies see in grayscale until they meet their soulmates, finding your soulmate is a momentous occasion, where the special connection between you quite literally colors your life. When Twilight began dating Rarity, she didn't mind that she couldn't see in colors.
Or, so she thought, until the day Rarity suddenly could.
Why I added it: Because I still love the plot twist from The Giver, and this was vaguely related.
Review
Twilight doesn’t believe in soulmates, or so she likes to think, anyway. Clearly, the idea that a pony giving you color vision means you’re meant to be together is silly, isn’t it? Ridiculous!
But everypony seems to do it.
And Rarity is quite the romantic. She always went on about wanting to find the one, before she and Twilight began dating – because, after all, most ponies never find their supposed soulmate.
But Rarity did, and now the designer, who could distinguish between shades of gray better than anyone, is now seeing the world in full force, and Twilight is afraid to talk to her. After all, why would Rarity want to stay with Twilight when she has her soulmate?
This story has a really strong central concept behind it, and it was what made me read it. Twilight’s struggle to deal with it – and to rationalize it away – was decent enough.
But I couldn’t help but feel like I didn’t get the pathos I was hoping for – I really wanted to feel worse for Twilight than I actually did. It just didn’t grab me the way I was hoping. Indeed, the whole thing felt a little bit undercooked – I was hoping for a bit more worldbuilding on it as well, a bit more perspective, particularly from Cadance, who can (presumably) see in color, but also from Rarity, who is now finding out that all of her designs are awful looking.
Still, the core concept here is compelling, and the idea makes me want to write something about it, which is always a good feeling.
Recommendation: Worth reading if you ship RariLight, but don’t expect an in-depth look at the effects on the world.
Unfair
by Jay-The-Brony
Alternate Universe, Drama, Sad
3,120 wordsFor many years now, Equestria has been at war against the vile King, Sombra. For much of that time, Princess Celestia has been out on the front lines, fighting alongside her soldiers to defend her homeland from the tyrant's forces. But, today, she journeys not to battle, but instead to the little-known village of Ponyville.
For word has reached her that a certain earth pony, named Applejack, has a very interesting story to tell.
Why I added it: Featured episode reaction fic.
Review
Princess Celestia comes to visit Applejack after a strange visit from one “Princess Twilight Sparkle”; it isn’t often that a random alicorn simply appears out of nowhere in Equestria. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Maud Pie are all deeply skeptical, and think that it might be some sort of trick by Sombra. But Celestia thinks otherwise…
A reaction fic/episode follow-up to “The Cutie Re-mark”, positing that each of the timelines was a separate universe, this follows Applejack briefly explaining what happened, and she and Celestia talking about it/angsting a bit.
Unfortunately, this story never really went anywhere beyond the premise; there were no broader implications, and nothing really changed or seemed to happen as a result of the events in the story. It was just a thing that happened. I would have liked for there to be some greater implications for the world in question, but none really manifested itself, and consequently, I walked away a bit disappointed.
My enjoyment of this story was unfortunately significantly hampered by a number of technical issues; eggcorns and awkward (and occaisionally ungrammatical) sentences greeted me in the very first paragraph, and were very offputting, because that’s the point at which I’d like to start digging into the story and instead ran into textual issues that immediately pulled me out of it.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Did Not
by obabscribbler
Alternate Universe, Dark, Romance, Sad
3,381 wordsMaud did not love Rainbow Dash.
Maud did not understand love.
Maud understood war. Maud understood battle. Maud understood loss.
Those are the things Maud understood.
Why I added it: Featured episode reaction fic, and how could I not read obabscribbler’s latest story when I’ve been hoping she would write more?
Review
Told from a close third person perspective, this story gives us a fair bit of backstory about how Maud, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie came to be front-line soldiers in Celestia’s army in the Sombra-verse of “The Cutie Re-Mark”. It delves into the relationship between Rainbow Dash and Maud, Maud's difficulties in expressing her emotions, as well as how Rainbow Dash got that metallic wing of hers.
This was a fun little war-time romance story about love on the front lines, and even though it wasn’t romantic per-se, it did a great job of expressing the feelings between the characters, even if Maud struggled to actually express them out loud. The choppy, matter-of-fact text brings Maud’s voice front and center throughout the piece, and it never lets go.
If you want to read a war story about two ponies caring about each other, and you like Maud Pie, this is a story you’ll like.
But, word of warning: if the way Maud talks drives you crazy, this entire piece is written like the four sentences in the introduction.
Recommendation: Recommended.
The Ever Ash Project
by shortskirtsandexplosions
Alternate Universe, Dark, Sad, Tragedy
4,527 wordsAfter several bloody years of war, we are about to defeat King Sombra. I almost wish we would have lost.
Why I added it: Featured episode reaction fic, plus, judging by what Hollywood puts out these days, who can resist short skirts and explosions?
Review
A lone soldier pulls themselves out of a vast pile of corpses and sets off in search of the nearest town, in hopes of drowning their sorrows as the war comes to its awful, awful conclusion. She talks to the local proprietor, rambling about what happened, and what the plan is for final victory. The Ever Ash Project is mad, but it is their only chance to defeat Sombra and rid this world of his dark crystalline magic.
I liked this on the whole; the scene was understated in all the right ways, and the banal struggles of the character belied the intensely awful situation they had found themselves in. The dialogue is pretty good, and you get a good sense of who the character is before the reveal at the end, as you realize just who was talking the whole time.
This is a dark piece, but it was worth my time, and if you enjoy bleak stories, this story will be right up your alley.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Denial
by Masterweaver
Slice of Life
1,031 wordsThere was a pattern here....
She hadn't seen it before. Or rather, she had refused to see it before.
But...
Were ponies really so... naive?
Why I added it: Because it ain’t just a river in Egypt.
Review
Rarity realizes that ponies seem to be oddly ignorant of the existence of Princess Twilight’s group of friends and, ultimately, when it comes right down to it, of Princess Twilight herself.
How is it that ponies don’t notice these things?
This was an interesting idea for a story. Unfortunately, that’s what this IS – an IDEA for a story. Where is the rest of the story? It doesn’t actually go anywhere, it is just a prologue to a piece.
I really liked it as a prologue, but it isn’t a complete story as-is.
I’d definitely read this story, though.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Summary
Colors of the Soul by Monochromatic
Worth Reading
Unfair by Jay-The-Brony
Not Recommended
Did Not by Obabscribbler
Recommended
The Ever Ash Project by shortskirtsandexplosions
Worth Reading
Denial by Masterweaver
Not Recommended
Been a while since I posted one of these review sets, eh?
I really need to give a good shove to my story pipeline, as I started a bunch of stories in November and didn’t publish hardly any of them. Maybe I’ll see about shipping one of them out to editors this afternoon…
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 97
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 384
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1735
This is sadly, my main, recurrent issue with Jay's writing. I can see an interesting premise peeking out of the stories he writes, but they never take that step that would make them their own stories. There's never a risk in the storytelling, nor a follow up that doesn't feel like a summary of things before. His new story in the Nightmare Moon universe follows this same format, in my opinion: A summary of what happened, a little tease of what could be a wonderful story, and an ending that leaves you wondering why this needed to even be written if it was just going to be dropped right there.
3591093
I feel like I've somehow had this conversation with you before about someone.
It is very unfortunate, though; coming up with a cool premise can often lead to a really powerful story, but not actually ending up going anywhere powerful with it feels like kind of a letdown.
Though I guess someone could make quite the business out of taking the ideas in these story starts and making them into full stories.
I actually have an idea for a story involving Nightmare Moon's verse from the season 5 finale which relies on a similar premise (namely, that they are actual parallel universes, and that the spell brings you from one timeline to another, and that ponies in those universes might actually react to the incursion into their reality by a pony from a happier world), but I feel like I ought to get other things done first (especially given I've got like, half a dozen new stories that I started in November and then didn't finish for one reason or another).
Ooh, I'm glad you liked Did Not, that means a lot to me for some reason. <.<
Gads, I'm behind on the post-finale story reviews! D:
3591148
Heh, it's alright. I saw a bunch more go up today.
I mean, I'm sure they'll taper off.
Right?
Right?
Not that I mind, of course.
3591202
I had two stories to finish before mine was ready, then another one came out and... D:
I think you dropped a word at the line break there.
3591114 There is just something sad about seeing potential being stagnated by lazy story writing. Or maybe its fear of plunging into a real story. I dunno. He must have his reasons.
That last one sounded like an interesting concept.