Season Five Wrap-up · 12:29am Dec 2nd, 2015
Another season in the books, and again, another season with its share of controversy in the brony community.
There’s certainly a lot of ground to cover--from the Cutie Mark Crusaders, to Diamond Tiara, political bickering about Equality Town and Starlight’s philosophy, debates about cutie marks and the concept of destiny, Luna and the Tantabus, Starlight’s backstory--but frankly, all those mean just about nothing to me now.
It’s time for us to buckle down as a fandom and make the hard choice we’ve been putting off since season five started.
Who is the most adorable new pony?
Swerve!Seriously, we got hit more new adorable this season than any other after season one! Is Hasbro trolling us? Trying to see how badly we’ll go for each other's throats in our quest to prove our new favorite pony is greater than the others?
Well, if it’s a war they want, then war they shall have! You’ll find a list of new ponies shortly, along with a few personal thoughts about them. Let’s hash this out now and be done with it.
Remember, in the end, there can be only one!
Starlight Glimmer
Pros
+Highly intelligent
+Powerful magic can probably keep you warm all over for snuggle time
+Look at that face!
+Will constantly remind you how much you don’t suck compared to others
Cons
-Abandonment issues could lead to extremely clingy behavior
-Will not tolerate contradiction
-Will constantly belittle all achievements
-Bright blue streak in her mane and tail is a dead giveaway during games of hide and seek
Double Diamond
Pros
+Fiercely loyal to those that earn his trust
+Can give free skiing lessons
Cons
-Losable in a snowstorm
-Stains easily
Party Favor
Pros
+His hair’s so fluffy, I’m gonna die
+Courageous enough to accept punishment in place of his friends
+Can build/repair any item in your house with nothing but balloons
Cons
-Your stuff will still be made out of only balloons
-Doesn’t listen
Night Glider
Pros
+Pulls off Fleetfoot’s look better than Fleetfoot
+Plays well with others
Cons
-Has a tendency to glide at night, leading to delays of snuggle time
Sugar Belle
Pros
+Soft around the edges for gentle hugs
+Her hair’s so fluffy, I’m already dead
+This girl can baaake!
Cons
-Daily consumption of sugary treats could lead to long-term health and dental problems
-Asking her to bake muffins triggers unpleasant flashbacks
Trouble Shoes
Pros
+Talent for slapstick comedy will brighten your day
Cons
-Will inadvertently kick you in sensitive areas while snuggling
-Is only pawn in game of life
Tree Hugger
Pros
+Can totally balance your chakras by way of understanding your aura, man
+Will understand your need for some space when you need it, man
+Cause, like, the universe is inside you, man
+Far out
Cons
-Vanishes at 4:20 in the afternoon every single day
The Smooze
Pros
+Will always dress for the occasion
+Will just gobble you right up whenever you need a hug
Cons
-Nothing can stop it
-Dear God, let me out!
-No more hugs!
-Please!
-...
March Gustysnows
Pros
+The delegate from Whinnyapolis, don’tcha know
+Ear flaps!
+Boy, gosh, I really wish I could think of some others
Cons
-Hey, hey, hey, let’s not be too hasty there with the Cons, good sir
-Didn’t have enough lines
Tropical Dream
Pros
+Looks like Fleur dis Lee
+Knows how to accessorize, not too little, not too much, just right
Cons
-Had no lines
-Could be a total b**** for all we know
-Do you feel lucky, punk?
+List about season five not perfect without yaks
+List now has yaks
+List perfect
+No cons. Only perfect
Moondancer
Pros
+That name
+Impressive sense of balance, keeping her glasses on in spite of the fact they aren’t hooked over her ears
+Is dying for hugs
+Smart enough to avoid recolor claims by changing hair and fashion style
+Smart cookie all around
Cons
-Itchy sweater rubbing on your skin
-Perhaps too desperate for hugs after such a long time shut away
Sassy Saddles
Pros
+Fan of alliteration
+Can and will set you up for success
+Simply fabulous
Cons
-Has a tendency to steal thunder
-Does not always conduct herself professionally
Fashion Plate
Pros
+Knows squishy cheeks are best cheeks
+Will hang on your every word until he can complete your sentences
+Very excitable
Cons
-Too excitable
-Beware of happy piddles, like a puppy who hasn't been housebroken
Moonlight Raven
Pros
+That sultry voice will soothe your soul every night
+Understands the mystery and allure of the dark
+No lies when she smiles, only genuine happiness
+Knows who best Princess is
Cons
-Penny pincher, only concerned if stuff is on sale
-Keeps lights off in the house, so you’ll always stub your toe or bump your shin into things
Sunshine Smiles
Pros
+Will always hug you first
+Happy colors and constant smiles will always be there to brighten your mood
+Follows her sister around, so one will usually come with the other for double snuggles
Cons
-Too few pictures of her alone
-Cheerful demeanor could grate on your nerves
Whoa Nelly
Pros
+Big is beautiful, you bigoted, bovine-body bashing buffoons!
+Serves as a cushion all on her own for snuggles
Cons
-You’ll never get to sleep directly on your favorite bed/sofa again
-She doesn’t have that beautiful Princess Dress
Filly Coco Pommel
Pros
+Last season’s reigning champion in a new form to defend her title
Cons
-Overshadowed by her adult self
-Come on, she just can't top this
Orchard Blossom
...Oh. Huh. Well... these two!
Rainberry and Rainbow Stars
Pros
+They’re new ponies from the same episode
+They’re not Big Macintosh in a dress
Cons
-Nothing has been done with them
-At all
-That’s the only picture of them I found where they're not in the background
Limestone Pie
...
Pros
+Agreed not to buck me in the balls if I hurried up
Cons
-Too protective of her boulders
-*flees*
Marble Pie
Pros
+Blushes easily
+Shyer than Fluttershy
+Painfully innocent
Cons
-Debuted in season one rather than five
-Requires presence of a third party until she is comfortable alone with you
-That third party is Pinkie Pie, so good-bye sanity
Coloratura
Pros
+Voice of an angel
+So, so, so many eyelashes to accentuate those sapphires she has
+Glowing cutie mark can act as a night light
+Her hair’s so glorious I already died and came back to life just to die over it again
+Good with kids
+Hoovesies!
Cons
-Totally ripped off Rarity for everything
-Mane, tail, eyelashes, nickname, everything
-She’s not a real coloratura (Hi, Jack!)
So there they are. About twenty entrants all vying for the title of most adorable in season five. I didn’t even include all of the new characters.
Hasbro was trying to murder us all with fresh content. How dare they give us new characters and settings and storylines to enjoy.
So let’s get all our ducks in a row and settle this thing now. Who was most adorable? Sunshine Smiles. Come at me, bro.
What about Tantabus?! Oh sure he tries to end the world ONE TIME and gets to sit out but Starlight tries it SEVERAL times but she's still adorable!
I do the same thing...
Her name is Coloratura. She's not a real countess.
Also, I'd have to go with March Gustysnows because I'm Minnesotan, dontcha know.
3585571
Coloratura is a vocal range, which I learned watching the episode from someone on this site named Jack.
3585549
A prerequisite for eligibility was as entrant's current existence.
3585558
Excellent choices, sir.
3585582 He's still around.....
3585582
Huh, I didn't know that.
Thanks!
Rainberry and Rainbow Stars! Because adorbs.
Also because I named them on Derpi.
3585676
The only picture of them on derpi. I couldn't believe it.
Marble Pie is best new pony.
No, I am not biased by my love of both Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. What makes you think that?
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
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3585772
I know, right? Totally inconspicuous.
Im torn on this one.
Night Glider or Moonlight Raven or Marble PIe
then again the Tantabus is rather appealing.
I think I have to much a thing for the darker ponies....
Ah, I loved your drawbacks for Marble.
I have to say I give it to Coloratura.
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As far as I'm concerned, Marble's drawbacks aren't really drawbacks. I mean, more Pinkie Pie means more smiles, more laughter, and lots more candy. I like all of those things.
I pity the fool who dates Marble, though. It would be just like Pinkie to pop up in the middle of a cute little couple's moments. The paranoia would drive someone like Twilight insane.