Captchaed Story Prompts (or: Writing Nospafi) · 3:01pm Dec 1st, 2015
Most people are probably familiar with Captcha codes: those little random words which a site will use as its own little anti-Turing test: prove you're human or get kicked off. I typically find them guarding online contests, especially when you're using AMOEs: Alternate Methods Of Entry. Right now, there's an instant win going on at MCR, and all you have to know there is that it's up to forty caps per day to play -- or forty Captcha codes with blurred text, warped letters, and whatever other tricks the system can use to make you wish you were burning caps instead, especially since a Captcha generally comes out as one real word and one nonsense collection of letters, both of which will be nearly impossible to read. Infuriating.
But at about fifteen codes in, something happened.
The nonsense started to... make sense.
It was the opposite of semantic satiation. All those ridiculous random groups began to take on the appearance of language. Something... changelinglike, perhaps. Those harsh assemblies of consonants might be half-clicked out instead of spoken. Other words seemed more appropriate to grunts: minotaur terms? And some looked like names...
And then I got this one: "Character Yomdplop." Well, clearly that's a changeling functionary, a worker with just barely enough sentience to understand that he has a name at all, if not always remember what it is.
More came along. I started pasting some of what seemed to be the interesting ones.
oremends shall
Changeling hive defender/soldier. Speaks about himself in third person because he thinks it makes him sound more important. Tends to declare his actions in advance, which gives everyone else time to counter them. He really doesn't understand why he loses so often.
con freendbm
"We've never tried to con a changeling before, brother. What if we can't find the tooth grip point?"
"You never know until you try, brother o' mine. And this Freendbm doesn't seem to have the most edged chitin in the hive..."
cemeric page
"They're enchanted," Twilight slowly stated. "It's... waiting. For the right touch. None of this is going to turn into any kind of legible script until the proper substance contacts the carvings..."
"An' jus' what is the 'proper substance'?" Applejack tentatively asked.
"As far as I can tell... fresh ichor."
classical wircheck
"I'm not playing this."
"Oh, come on, Octavia..."
"No."
"But it's part of the opening ceremony for the meetings! It's necessary to make them feel welcome!"
"No."
"But it's music --"
"My legs don't rub together that way!"
which reekrig
"Well, Ah don't know. They all kinda look alike."
apycle may
"You're what kind of cousin now?"
stablena prayer
"It takes," Rarity warily observed, "a rather special kind of culture to come up with a deific name that... precise. A culture which I strongly suggest we cease investigating. Immediately."
meats ptudoo
For the first time since Sizzler had met him, Gerald Gristle looked vaguely -- nauseated.
"I can get it," the butcher slowly said. "Eventually. Please... don't ask me how, or what I have to trade back in return, much less how long it's going to take before I can get the stench out of my shop. But with what it does, Sizzler... It's not that I don't have faith in your ability to cook it. I remember that last barbecue, and so does everyone else in the Aviary who asked me to invite you to the next one. I just don't want you around that stuff. One mistake..."
pitnami differences
"An' that's how you tell them apart? An' how was Ah supposed t' know that in the first place?"
econlin chsm
Pinkie looked at the pit, filled to overflowing with what she now realized was the local term for shed chitin. It looked completely inappropriate for swimming.
But she tried anyway.
accentual ysvsting
"So is it two clicks at the end of the statement or three?"
"Six, sister."
"...right. Sorry, Luna. This has just been a lot to memorize at once."
"Understandable. But we must be careful. Changing the number would change the target of the sentence. And with this final sentence, concluding the negotiations... six will propose peace."
"Two?"
"War."
"...three?"
"All further negotiations would take place in your bedroom."
oberlin ncmeme
"He thinks it's a normal pony name. He's very proud of it. Please don't tell him."
army alletoms
"You get them in the lower levels of the hives," the supposed ambassador said, watching with blank dispassion as the hundred-legged thing slowly worked its mass through the largest hole in his own left foreleg. "They're scavengers. They crawl over anything they find, looking for leavings. It's a good way to get clean, as long as you're not something they would eat."
"And what do they eat?" Cadance carefully asked.
"Stand still long enough and you may find out. Shall we move on?"
njectti similar
"Will y'all just stop movin' around! Ah'm losin' track!"
icknfi find
"Icknfi will get it! Icknfi find! Icknfi fetch!" The miniature wings buzzed, and a black streak briefly twisted through the trees before vanishing within the thick woods.
"Do you trust it?" Rainbow immediately asked, probably a split-second before 'it' would have been out of earshot.
"Her," Rarity stated. "And yes."
"Why?"
"Because she has given me no reason not to."
"Wait."
poetically byforce
There have been better recitals in the history of the multiverse, and they have been given by Vogons.
lirstu synonym
"I believe that in your language, the closest word would be 'coup'."
izzarie came
(Censored for non-Mature readers.)
season exesraee
"Also known as...?"
"Molting season."
"You molt?"
"Seasonally."
"...what do you do with the shells?"
"I believe the pink one already wandered off towards that."
the inswede
Official moose spotter.
ammsnog plug
"Don't pull that! It's the only thing keeping them from getting into the main hive!"
"The army alletoms?"
"The things which eat them!"
crossed actstili
"That would be bad."
"Define 'bad'."
"Imagine every cell in your body exploding outwards at the speed of sound before getting pushed back together into a clump the size of your hoof, because the entire world around you exploded inwards ever so slightly faster. And being aware the whole time. As the clump. Forever."
"Don't cross the actstili. Got it. Important safety tip. Thanks, Oberlin."
[/hr]
Go to a Captcha page. Refresh the box a few times. Look at the results.
What stories can you find?
Nevermind the stories, there's a convenient alien starship/planet/location name generator...
This is beautiful.
Welp. This is a thing. Lord Inglip praises your attentiveness, estee!
Well, someone beat me to mentioning Lord Inglip. But that was glorious.
Ironically, I want to try this but I have no idea of anyplace that uses captcha anymore. Googling just gets me to the official captcha webpage
3584350
Just go to church.
(First I'd heard of it, BTW.)
3584363
I have only numbers for captcha. Lord Inglip thinks I'm robot? =(
I can't help but picture Icknfi as a prospective Cutie Mark Crusader. I think it's the enthusiasm, the specifically miniature wings, and her proximity to Rainbow Dash. And my being an avid reader of Wise Cracker's Quorum Sensing stories.
In any case, this is truly glorious. One of the best bits of impromptu world-building I've ever seen. And it's good to know I'm not the only one still making that joke.
Now, let's see what kinds of things I get...
taloles laws
The rules governing the ritualistic butchering process that meat must undergo to be considered suitable for the ceremonial feast during major griffin holidays.
its ongrupn
"Wait, which one's Ongrupn? Or which part o' one?"
and ningsjt
"Now ya'll are just messin' with me."
"I thought that was an elkish delicacy," said Twilight.
mainte gronto
Minotaur term for field repairs. The anniversary of the invention of duct tape has been declared a national holiday.
seven goalMid
Twilight considered the sports section of the newspaper. She tried turning it upside down, which did nothing to alter the comprehensibility. "I'm going to find Rainbow Dash. Maybe she can translate."
This is ridiculously fun.
This is beyond beautiful, I already have an idea on how to write something now. Should it happen, I'll credit you.
This is not nesscarlly a bad thing... . Still two other numbers between three and six.
If two is "war" and three is "adult fun times" and six is "peace" what are four and five? "Pospone negotiations" and... I'm drawing a blank on another option.
Do changelings often have trouble with moose?
3584431
A møøse once bit their queen...
Village Wnlrti
"Where am I?" Twilight asked.
"In Village Wnlrti," Starlight answered. "I am the new Number Two."
"What do you want?"
"Information!"
Any Ghllapp
The sign stood along an overgrown path deep in the woods.
"I think it's a philosophical thing," Twilight speculated aloud. "Who made the road? Any ghllapp. Who is the road for? Any ghllapp. Where does the road go? Any ghllapp!"
"Maybe that's who owns the house down the road?" Applejack suggested. "Or maybe the house is for use by them ghu-lappies."
"Or maybe the sign is very old and half the letters are missing," Rarity sniffed.
"No, wait, I got it! WE are ghllapp!" Twilight shouted with a grin. "It's a message of self-affirmation!"
"So what's it telling us?" Applejack asked.
"Well I don't know about you but it's definitely telling me that I was right to take Starlight hostage in exchange for a way out of the Village."
Vernaca Not
"The Vernaca Knot was a knot in ancient Zebrican mythology that held the gates to the underworld closed so long as the ghosts of the dead could not untie it," Twilight muttered as she twisted the rope. "This is... not it."
3584436
This is a reference to something I don't know, I can feel it.
Fair enough, I do this to people all the time.
3584443
I won't leave you hanging.
3584448
Ah! Yes! Been a while since I've seen that movie and that section of it wasn't one that stuck in my mind.
3584431
Nine
I could read these all day.
You have made my day. This is fantastic. If I could favorite a blog post, this would be among the first to receive that honor.
Don't worry; all the other blog posts to receive the honor would be yours as well, so your only competition is yourself
3584478
Are you a mathematician by trade or is it just a hobby?
I bet you could get something similar from IKEA product names...
Ivrig Skala
"While it is an honour to meet you," Twilight said, "I am going to stake you through the heart now. Sorry. I hope you have better luck in a thousand years time..."
Droppar Fargrik
"Luna! Such language! Hardly worth it over spilt milk..."
Haha, I remember Inglip, and I'm glad others do too. :D
I don't understand "there's an instant win going on at MCR, and all you have to know there is that it's up to forty caps per day to play." It sounds like something from a cyberpunk novel. Someone gives you rewards for decoding captcha's? Doesn't that sound a bit... suspicious? Like you're being used as a mechanical turk in a spam machine?
But I love what you've done with them. I must read more of your stories.
3584890
Dear sweet pony gawds, I have to translate this? Okay...
(Warning: boredom ahead.)
MCR is My Coke Rewards: in this case, the website. The instant win game is called Boxes Of Joy, which runs through December 31st. (The prizes are more or less irrelevant, but mostly horrible.) There are two ways to earn gameplay entries.
1. Enter a code from nearly any Coke product, typically found under the bottlecaps or on the tearaway portions of boxes. The code is then dead: it cannot be used for points, other contests, or anything else, regardless of whether you win or lose. (Mostly lose. Early returns seem to indicate about a 3% win rate at best.)
This is... impractical. The entry limit is forty plays per day. Most people in the program don't have that kind of code bank waiting for use, especially as we're talking about burning through a minimum of forty bottles, and if 12-packs on up get involved, you're pretty much dead. For actual points entry, you max out at twenty-five caps per week, and every code you use for this won't work for points...
However, under U.S. game law, pretty much any instant win contest must have a No Purchase Required way to play. With physical pieces, this often takes the form of self-addressed stamped envelopes, which the company will then use to mail game cards to you. For Internet contests, you frequently get:
2. Go to the Alternate Method Of Entry page. The Captcha code will randomly display two words. Type them in as spelled (without worrying about the case) and you will be awarded one free entry. You may also use this method to play up to forty times per day, or any combination of first and second which add up to that total. This doesn't decimate your code supply and it takes about as long as it does to write up the actual fourteen-character codes... but the Captcha fonts tend to be twisted, blurred, hard to read... well, see above.
What usually winds up happening is that the amateur players burn through most of their codes on losses, which is part of the intent here: the contest is benefiting the sponsor by getting those codes out of the economy. (If it's been used for an IW loss, it can't be used to build towards a prize which the company has at least pay shipping for.) And the professionals Captcha to their hearts' content, generally losing just as much as the amateurs -- but it doesn't cost them anything from their code supply.
So there's no reward for reading the Captcha other than the "free" game entry, and I just tried playing that on Day #1 and #2 to see what my chances were like. Result: it takes too long, with too poor a rate of return, to keep up for the full month. In fact, so far, the arguable most I'm getting out of this are the Captchas themselves.
I may have to bookmark the Lord Inglip page just to have a permanent Captcha engine on standby.
Devede His
"It sounds so suave, so sophisticated! I must know more!"
"Ah think that might be a griffon restroom sign, Rarity."
Physical Vempfu
"You experience the Physical Vempfu on your voyage to the peak of the mountain of enlightenment. Only when you have mastered it can you truly know what it means to hug a tree."
The Ratennt
"The Ratennt is the ceremonial renewal of the peace accord between the Diamond Dogs and the Cats of Mazor," the old sheepdog muttered, his eyes hidden beneath his fuzz. "Once every hundred moons cat and dog join together to hunt our mutual enemy, the rat-kin of Ular. If the hunt cannot go forward it means the treaty is broken, and the oldest war resumes once more."
Uirannis Ordinary
"Well, that was lame," Rainbow Dash said, slamming the empty mug down on the bar. "Do you have Uirannis Extraordinary or something?"
Fligynd Editions
"I don't know what they are," Twilight said, her eyes glittering, "But I know that I must have them."
Whenever I get a captcha, I get either random numbers or something that looks lime a censored swear. Or both. F%2X@D!, motherbuckers!
3584602 Yes.
3584670 Algot!
Malm!
Algot!
Malm!
Algot!
Malm!
...Stugvk!
*creepy music plays* Immeln.
Yes, these are all real Ikea names.
3585326
I kinda walked right into that.
Well played, well played.
Have you done any stories with changelings? I kind of feel like you haven't.
But yeah, this does seem like a cool fantasy name generator if you hit "ask for another captcha" enough.
THIS STORY MUST BE!
I hate those damn things. They are supposed to see if you are human & they keep telling me I'm not.
If I'm gonna get trolled, I DEMAND it be done by a live human, preferably in person! But, no. I Hate The -Ing Internet
Dare you to put it all together
This is so brilliant, so wrong, and so beautiful. Once more I find the site abilities to favorite a blog post sorely lacking.,
Well shid, I'm definitely going to have to use this.
Changelings, although infamous for consuming love, are also indiscriminately omnivorous scavengers. Among such creatures, the meat of the ptudoo bird is recognised as requiring no 'seasoning' or 'ripening' before attaining the taste (and scent) of rotten meat.
Ornithologists have cautiously asserted that this might be part of an evolutionary process intended to make the bird undesirable prey for predators, with the ultimate destination having the meat of the ptudoo bird becoming truly toxic.*
*The textbook has a written annotation stating that this would only improve the taste.